Scoops and Pliers

SCOOPS’ PICKS: SPEED EDITION

2009-10-30T05:56:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 4-3
Overall: 35-41-1
Win/Loss: - $28.06

Quick, hard hitting picks, just like Scoops. Three ways to do picks: the right way, the wrong way, & the Scoops way!

MINNESOTA (+155) over Michigan State: If Michigan State still had John L. Smith coaching, this would be the biggest lead pipe lock of the week with Michigan State in emotional meltdown mode. Dantonio is a different animal, but just like St. Cloud hockey in the NCAA’s, they need to prove it to me before I think they’re the same old Michigan State.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 31, MICHIGAN STATE 16

WISCONSIN (-260) over Purdue: The spread is 6.5 in favor of the Badgers, and I feel 95% sure they’re cover that. But you never know with a garbage TD that makes it a 4 point Badger win, so I’m just going to go money line.
FINAL SCORE: WISCONSIN 27, PURDUE 21
[SCOOPS’ LEAD PIPE LOCK OF THE WEEK]

Indiana (+17.5) over IOWA: Indiana has been a pesky cover this season, with a record of 6-1 against the spread. Iowa lost a few guys to the injury bug last week at Michigan State, so they’re going to spend the week trying to right the ship for the final 3 games, so they’re comfortable with a 14 point win.
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 27, INDIANA 13

Michigan (-7) over ILLINOIS: Either this is too easy or it’s an Admiral Akbar “trap!” With Zook involved, Scoops isn’t falling for the trap.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 30, ILLINOIS 17

Penn State (-14) over NORTHWESTERN: Scary game in that Northwestern is the kids that never quit and that could result in a bogus TD with 5 seconds left against a bunch of Penn State 2nd teamers giving PSU only 10 point win. But I’m taking a chance that PSU finally is cranking things up on offense.
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 38, NORTHWESTERN 20

OHIO STATE (-38.5) over New Mexico State: Here’s all you need to know about this one: Line opened up at -38.5 and now sits at -44. That’s a HUGE jump that the bookies are already sweating out. Only some tom foolery by the gamblers behind the scenes is going to keep this one in check.
FINAL SCORE: OHIO STATE 51, NEW MEXICO STATE 6

OREGON (+130) over Southern California: Oregon is reason #2 why a playoff should occur (behind the fact that you may have 4 undefeated teams not playing for the national championship). They lost a buzzsaw first game in Chip Kelly’s coaching debut and have proceeded to run everyone else out of the building, including an impressive whooping up in Seattle last weekend of Washington. Autzen will be the difference.
FINAL SCORE: OREGON 38, USC 34

[**] Wisconsin / Michigan / Oregon 6 point teaser: For the reasons above, I like Wisconsin & Michigan to win outright, and Oregon to be able to cover +10 at home. [$5 wager to win 9]

[**] Wisconsin / Miami 6 point teaser: : Throwing my wagons on the Badgers this week, and like Miami to walk out of Winston-Salem with a win over the Demon Deacons. [$3 wager to win 3]

Two Weeks Later...the Champion Emerges?

2009-10-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my absence, Scoopsie Nation. Buying a house and having to work a real job takes it's toll. I feel like Houston Nutt after another press conference getting grilled by various SEC sportswriters asking about how I managed to donk off another sure fire win...downtrodden.

The last time I checked, however, football was mostly about overcoming adversity. And that is exactly what I plan on doing this week. Overcoming the bad breaks and poor decisions that have hampered my season. Time to get back on the gravy train.

Last week - 3-4-1
YTD - 13-24-1

Michigan State by 3.5 at GOPHER NATION. Sorry Scoops and T-Brew, this one doesn't look like it is in the cards. After giving one away last week versus Iowa, I expect the Spartans to come out with their phalanx armed and ready. Along with Eric Decker goes the chances of Gopher Nation scoring more than 28 points the rest of the season. Sparties 31, Goofers 13.

GA Tech by 11.5 at VANDY. Vandy's flirtation with football relevance seems to have run its course, and GA Tech keeps getting stronger and stronger each week. Keep in mind that Paul Johnson's squad's only loss is to a frisky Miami team the 1st week of the season. The option rolls in Nashville. Ga Tech 38, Vandy 14.

NAVY by 7 vs. Temple. Did anyone else notice that Temple is one win away from bowl eligibility? What a prospect...the Owls playing in some toilet bowl on the 23rd of December. Regardless of how preposterous that sounds, there is no way that they beat Navy this week. Navy ran the ball 64 times last week and passed it ZERO. Gotta love that. Anchors Aweigh. Navy 24, Temple 10.

Michigan by 7 at ILLINOIS. The Juice has finally overflowed and worn out his welcome. My favorite part about the Zooker FINALLY benching his "star" player two weeks ago? The prospect of some jerkwater NFL team (Buffalo, anybody?) taking a flyer on Juice Williams after he wows everyone at the combine in April, which he will inevitably do. "He's got a plus-NFL arm and his mobility has shown to be excellent...we really think he can be a valuable contributor in the NFL." If Mike Teel can get drafted, the the Juice is a lock. Too bad Tate Forcier has shown more in the first 7 games of his college career than Juice has over the last 3.5 years. Michigan 31, Illinois 14.

The over at 49.5 on the Ole Miss/AUBURN game. Two nice defenses, but I think the offensive ethos of these teams gives each of them an automatic 3 TD day. Ole Miss 31, Auburn 19.

Dartboard pick #1
West Virginia by 3 at SOUTH FLORIDA. I'll admit it...I haven't seen either of these teams play more than 25 minutes total all season long. This is what I do know...the coach at West Virginia might be a total moron, but he knows how to ride his horses, and that is EXACTLY what they have in Noel Divine. George Selvie doesn't even matter in this game since WVU is going to run up and down the field on the Bulls and their pathetic home field advantage. Toothless Hillbillies 35, Bull Crappers 14.

Dartboard pick #2
OREGON getting 3 vs Southern Cal. Does this Oregon squad count as an example of Bill Simmon's Ewing Theory? I think it does. They lost their best player after a heartbreaking loss to Boise, and ever since they are just ROLLING through their competition. USC did look VERY good last week, especially on the ground, but there is no better homefield advantage than in Eugene. Oregon pulls the upset and dashes Pete's dreams of a championship until next year. Oregon 24, USC 23.

Dartboard pick #3
Washington State getting 28 at NOTRE DAME. [avoiding the lightning bolt that just streaked through the blue sky] Notre Dame wins this game, don't get me wrong, but their offense is almost exclusively based on passing, and Washington State has shown the ability to slow some good passing teams down (SMU, Hawaii). If I were Chuck Wheat I'd pound the ball down the Cougars' throats, but I think he is too proud of his Heisman-Hopeful to do that. Irishmen 37, Cougars 17.

SCOOPS' CFA PICKS: BOO!

2009-10-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 4-7
Overall: 31-38-1
Win/Loss: - $64.06

DOWN BY 2 TOUCHDOWNS AT HALFTIME…TIME TO MAKE SOME ADJUSTMENTS.

Some highlights & lowlights from the past week. Along with the picks that I offered last week, I also was like a kid in a candy store making another 7 bets during the games on Saturday.

Highlights:
-After Cincy covered against South Florida on Thursday night, I put up some insurance on the parlay by taking Indiana +3 over Illinois, so I would not have a loss. Naturally, Ron Zook took over and Indiana ended up winning by 13 points.
-The Victory Bell Sandwich: Having Minnesota in a tease at +22.5, I banged Penn State at -17 (which I kind of thought was a bit high). Nevertheless, the ineptitude of the Gopher offense provided the 20-0 win giving me both victories.
Lowlights:
-The freaking Ohio State University: They lost me 3 freaking bets. All they had to do was beat Purdue for me to not lose 2 of them. The Jim Tressel offensive era, everybody!
-Navy not covering -7 at SMU due to a 3 point overtime win.
The ULTIMATE LOWLIGHT:
-Trying to make some money back, I invested in the 2nd Half of Fresno State/San Jose State with Fresno being -7.5. Fresno opens up with a TD, and kicks a FG with 5 minutes left in the game. San Jose drives down and is picked off in the end zone with 2 minutes to play. Touchback and most likely a victory. Fresno runs the ball 3 straight times, punts, and Fresno takes over at their own 30. Backup QB & RB are in for San Jose State. They run it 2 plays in a row, so they want out as well. And then? A 70-YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS WITH 9 SECONDS LEFT TO GIVE SAN JOSE STATE A 20 POINT LOSS BUT TAKING THE 2ND HALF LINE! This may begin a debate about what gambling loss was worse: this or the first half Super Bowl under involving James Harrison running 100 yards on an INT.

Onto my weekly picks: (And Again, all picks this week involve REAL money, as stated last week)

Minnesota (+18) over OHIO STATE: Don’t know where to go with this one, so I’m taking the points. Ohio State is either going to be pissed off and win by 35 points, or a T. Pryor turnover will cause the boo birds to be out in full force and it should be a rather safe bet. Knowing Tressel & his offense, I’m taking the points, despite the complete buffoonery of the Minnesota offense.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 24, MINNESOTA 10

OHIO STATE (-900) over Minnesota: Along those lines, there’s NO F-ING WAY MINNESOTA IS WINNING THIS FOOTBALL GAME! So I want to make a couple of bucks.

Illinois (+11.5) over PURDUE: Why do I keep trying to pick Illinois? Because Purdue, despite their win last week, shouldn’t be 11.5 favorites over ANYBODY in the Big Ten. Taking the points.
FINAL SCORE: PURDUE 24, ILLINOIS 17

Indiana (+4.5) over NORTHWESTERN: Nice backdoor cover last week by Northwestern for me, but Indiana is playing with a bit of moxy, minus the Virginia game. Taking the points again.
FINAL SCORE: NORTHWESTERN 27, INDIANA 24

MICHIGAN (+5) over Penn State: Noticing a trend here? Taking the points again. Penn State’s offense isn’t quite good enough to explode on Michigan, especially given their history at the Big House.
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 31, MICHIGAN 27

Iowa (-0.5) over MICHIGAN STATE: Iowa toyed with Wisconsin in the 2nd half. Their defense is good enough to win in any stadium in the Big Ten, and while Michigan State is rebounding a bit from the non-conference start and should make a solid run at a mid-level bowl, Iowa takes care of business and makes all BCS proponents even more scared.
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 24, MICHIGAN STATE 13

Ohio State/Nebraska/Notre Dame/Cincinnati/Southern Miss/Florida/Fresno/USC/Boise Money Line Parlay: Ohio State lost me two of them last week, so one of the other bets I made was instantly doing it all over again with all the other team involved as soon as OSU lost, so I at least got that bet win (although Florida was making things dicey). I’ll try it again, and actually getting better potential payout this week as Notre Dame is not a huge money line favorite over Boston College, so it would be a quality win if this is pulled out.

Georgia Tech (-0.5)/Iowa (+5)/LSU (-1.5) teaser: LSU has Auburn at home, so I like defense to rule the day, and Georgia Tech is smelling a potential conference title after last week’s big win versus VA Tech…no let down vs. Virginia.

The Return of the King?

2009-10-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry about my absence last week...I was doing an in-depth investigative report on the state of Lou Holtz's health and I didn't have time to post anything on the blog. One quick excerpt - he actually died 7 years ago in Columbia, SC after suffering a massive stroke. While he was pronounced dead at the scene, the group of South Bend Nuns floated into the morgue, took his body, and 6 days later he was reanimated using an obscure method of resuscitation developed by Pope Sergius III in the spring of 907 AD. Dr. Lou has been polluting the airwaves ever since, and the small convent of mystic nuns could not be happier.

Anyway, look for that report hitting the news stands near you sometime soon. As for this week, it is time to make some picks. Let's get it started.

TEXAS by 3 vs Oklahoma. I usually shy away from picking these games, but not this year. I'll be in Wisconsin during this telecast and won't be able to watch it, but I get the feeling like Mack Brown and his horses on defense are going to take it to a half-healthy Sam Bradford. Texas 38, Oklahoma 31.

Minnesota getting 18.5 at PENN STATE. For whatever reason, Minnesota always plays JoePa Tough. PSU looked great last week, but the Gopher squad isn't half bad, and this is a HUGE line. T-Brew doesn't have enough in the tank to win, but it will be a two-score game at most. JoePa 35, Goofers 24.

Southern Cal by 10 at NOTRE DAME. The last time Notre Dame beat Pete Carrol, Arnaz Battle and Carlyle Holliday were playing quarterback for the Irish. Ugh. Notre Dame has shown some big play ability with Golden Tate usually taking advantage of some idiot DB falling down to scoot into the endzone. I don't see that type of thing happening against the pack of wild dogs that is the USC defense. SC wins this one by 2 touchdowns. Carrols Crips 38, ChuckWheats Creamers 21.

Va Tech by 3 at GEORGIA TECH. The immovable object versus the irresistible force, right? This is a goofball football coach's wet dream, with the nations most unique offense going head to head with a bunch of dog-fighting thugs who play stout defense and amazing special teams. Beamer ball overcomes the pressure this week and firmly places their name in the hat as one of the best college football teams in all the land. Hokies 27, BumbleBees 17.

Washington getting 7 at ARIZONA STATE. Is this line for real? Arizona State has beaten, in reverse chronological order, Washington State, UL Monroe, and Idaho State. Can someone explain to me why they are favored? It is pretty clear that I've got a massive mancrush on Jake Locker, but even taking that into consideration, Washington should ROLL in this game, right? This is definitely a trap gambling game, but whatever, I'm taking the points. Washington 31, Sun Devils 17.

Now time for a new experiment, the "Dartboard Pick of the Week," where I'll just pick a few games at random and argue one side or the other as to why I'm picking the game. With my results so far, how much worse can I be?

Dartboard Pick #1:

Houston by 16 over TULANE. The last relevant Green Wave in New Orleans was named Katrina, and we all know how well that went over. Has anyone at Tulane thought about changing the name of their mascot? Seriously, what is more offensive. "The Fighting Sioux", who apparently don't give a flying crapola about the use of their name and are depicted as fearless, bad ass warriors, or "The Green Wave" who represent the largest domestic weather disaster in American history? What a joke. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the Flickertail Era at UND, however. Houston 48, Green Wave 20.

Dartboard Pick #2:

The OVER at 54.5 on the SAN DIEGO STATE/Brigham Young game. Ugh. What a boring game this is going to be. San Diego State has not been relevant since...well...ever. At least they can build a shrine to Marshall Faulk, I guess. BYU has a legimately great offense and should score at LEAST 42 points on the Aztecs. Remember, the last time a bunch of white religious fanatics competed against a group of people called "Aztecs" it did not end well for the brown folk. Mormons 45, Masa Mealers 17.

Dartboard Pick #3:

The OVER at a paltry 45 on the ALABAMA/South Carolina game. This one scares me. Alabama's offense looked like it needed an injection from Forrest Gump last week and their defense absolutely dismantled the Houston-Nutter Offense. For whatever reason, however, these games have been historically high scoring affairs, probably due to the fact that each team should rack up at least 150 penalty yards for various infractions such as peeing on the bed of collard greens, stoning pigs to death with rocks (they got the idea from the Bo Jackson biography), and burning the confederate flag. Each team only has to score 3 TD's apiece for the over, so I'm taking it. Alabama 31, South Carolina 17.

SCOOPS' WEEKLY PICKS: NO LONGER AWARD WINNING!

2009-10-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 3-6
Overall: 27-31-1
Win/Loss: - $39.66

SCOOPS’ MORAL DILEMMA: BETTER TO HAVE FINANCIAL GAIN OR GOOD REPUTATION?

The following dilemma sums up my gambling week. I made 9 predictions and only was correct on 3 of them. However, of the 3 wagers, 2 of them were real money teaser wagers whereas my losses were simply mythical wagers. That begs the question of is it better for me to have a good reputation regarding predictions or to enhance my financial security?

So I’m going to try to put my money where my mouth is. Next week, I’m going to make a wager on EVERY SINGLE GAME I PREDICT. I say next week because I already made some parlay & teaser wagers before I took a look at the Big Ten games head to head, so I’ll start fresh with it next week. A bit more thought will be put into the game.

Onto my weekly picks:

Minnesota (+16.5) over PENN STATE: Forget my loyalty to the Gophers & what I want or hope for. I’m going straight stats here on this bitch. And the stats are these: Penn State is 1-4 against the spread & Minnesota is sporting an over .500 mark at 3-2-1. I’m not sold on Penn State as a legit club and one that has the ability to knock Minnesota out of the park. Penn State wins, but Minnesota covers.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 31, MINNESOTA 20

Iowa (+120) over WISCONSIN: Interesting matchup that may prove big in the conference race & set up a potential Ohio State vs. Iowa title showdown. First off, Iowa must get by the Badgers in Madtown. Michigan had some success against Iowa’s defense, but the spread is a bit different than the power game that the Badgers play & Iowa is built to stop. In a close game, I’m going money line to take advantage of the dollars.
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 34, WISCONSIN 30

Ohio State (-13) over PURDUE: I watched this Purdue team first hand. They make some plays, but self destruct like nothing I’ve ever seen. And they can’t stop the run, which plays into Tressel’s hands. Lay the points bitches & Buckeye up.
FINAL SCORE: OHIO STATE 38, PURDUE 17

Illinois (-2) over INDIANA: How many more weeks can I keep trying to ride the Zooker? This may be Illinois’ last chance for a conference win before a total program meltdown. I like them to get it done. Illinois has owned Indiana the past few years and I like the trend to continue.
FINAL SCORE: ILLINOIS 30, INDIANA 24

Northwestern (+13.5) over MICHIGAN STATE: MSU is getting a little better each & every week, but I think 13.5 is too many points against a team that can move the ball & score.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN STATE 30, NORTHWESTERN 27

MICHIGAN (NL over Delaware State: No line & no interest.

Oklahoma (+3.5) over Texas @ Dallas: Tradition is cool. So is Sam Bradford chucking the ball around the field. I thin Texas has been sleepwalking a bit. Looking ahead to the Sooners? Perhaps. But I think Oklahoma can keep it within the points.
FINAL SCORE: TEXAS 37, OKLAHOMA 34

[**] Ohio State/Air Force/USC 10 pt. teaser: Ohio State gets knocked down to 3.5, which I like. Also like Air Force in the pick versus Wyoming along with USC being a pick at Notre Dame. [$12 wager to win 10]

[**] Iowa/Minnesota 6.5 teaser: Continuing my Floyd of Rosedale tease from 3 weeks ago when I cashed in & will try it again with Iowa knocked down to +8.5 & Minnesota at +22.5. [3.96 wager to win 3.60]

[**] Cincinnati (-3.5) /Illinois (-2) 2 team Parlay: Trying a new wager & riding the arm of Tony Pike against South Florida & Illinois to get it done like said above. [$2 wager to win $5.29]

[**] Ohio State/Penn State/Alabama/Florida 4-team Money Line Parlay: Trying a new wager this weekend with my money line parlay. Pretty much took the following 4 teams on the money line to win, with all 4 being heavy favorites. [$2.00 wager to win $1.07]

SCOOPS' WEEKLY PICKS

2009-10-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 4-5
Overall: 24-25-1
Win/Loss: + $4.34

Sometimes, an individual comes to a conclusion about themselves. One knows their limitations, or one knows who they are. I’ve come to the following conclusion after looking at an Xcel spreadsheet that I keep regarding a certain financial log.

I AM, FLAT OUT, ADDICTED TO SPORTS GAMBLING!

You should see the log I have. I bet with two websites (Betus.com & Bookmaker.com) to compare the lines and take the more favorable one. And I’m not a heavy gambler. I only have about $250.00 invested total between the two websites. And Bookmaker is nice because they have no minimum bet, so you can launch $1 bets like it’s nothing. Because of that, I’ve found myself gambling on baseball like I’m Pete Rose. Check out the following log since October 1st (Highlighted in Green is bet won, Red is bet lost, Black is wager pending):

Betus.com
-$14.59 (Wisconsin defeat Minnesota outright +135)
-$5 (Bengals/Redskins/Steelers 3-team tease)
-$5 (Iowa to win Big Ten +500)
-$10 (Ohio State to win Big Ten +175)
-$5 (Minnesota/Alabama/Iowa 3-team tease)
-$40 (Yankees defeat Twins in 3 game series -400)

Bookmaker.com
-$2 (Florida State/Ole Miss/Penn State/Ohio State/Cal 5-team tease)
-$3 (Pitt/Alabama/Georgia Tech 3-team tease)
-$1 (Giants/Bears/Redskins/Saints/49ers/Vikings 6-team tease)
-$2 (KC Royals defeat Twins +185)
-$2.50 (Cowboys -3 over Broncos)
-$5 (Detroit Tigers defeat Twins +150)
-$6.72 (Ravens/Steelers/Patriots 3-team tease)
-$3.60 (Wisconsin/South Carolina/Iowa 3-team 10pt. tease)
-$12 (Vikings/Ravens/Steelers 3-team 6.5 tease)
-$3 (LA Angels defeat Red Sox in 3 game series +110)
-$2.75 (Yankees defeat Twins in game 2 -275)
-$3.05 (Phillies defeat Rockies in 3 game series -305)

Because of the small minimum, I’m not afraid to go on a favorite like the Yankees or Phillies. I won’t win much, but my chances of winning money are rather high. And you can see a trend that I have, which is “wager on the opponent of your favorite team.” Hence a money line win with the Badgers last week and trying to have some consolation if the Twins fizzled out against the Royals or Tigers & if they lose to the Yankees. It may not be a total problem because of the small number of wagers that I’m making, but I may have an addiction.

Onto my weekly picks:

Purdue (+3.5) over MINNESOTA: Minnesota’ offensive line woes continued last week & Purdue should be able to cut down on the 6 turnovers they had vs. Northwestern. Purdue suffers another close loss, but only a 3 point loss gives Purdue the cover.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 27, PURDUE 24

ILLINOIS (+155) over Michigan State: I see energy from Eddie McGee replacing what has been a super senior season for Juice Williams & Michigan State with the letdown.
FINAL SCORE: ILLINOIS 28, MICHIGAN STATE 24

NORTHWESTERN (-20.5) over Miami, OH: Miami has lost double digit games in a row by double digits. Northwestern will give them fits & Scoops says “lay the points, bitches!”
FINAL SCORE: NORTHWESTERN 38, MIAMI 10

Wisconsin (+14) over Ohio State: I just think 14 is too much considering the ball control that Wisconsin plays with & the conservative nature Tressell plays with.
FINAL SCORE: OHIO STATE 31, WISCONSIN 21

IOWA (-7.5) over Michigan: This line has moved up a point since it opened. Michigan got exposed for what they are last week, and that’s a team in the right direction, but still not the horses to get it done week in & week out. Iowa at home will get the win. Lay the points, bitches!
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 31, MICHIGAN 20

Indiana (+6.5) over VIRGINIA: An odd out of conference game with a BCS team in the middle of the season for the Hoosiers. After a tough loss two weeks ago, Indiana kept it within the spread against Ohio State. They should be able to do the same against Al Groh.
FINAL SCORE: VIRGINIA 27, INDIANA 24

Florida (-8.5) over LSU: The health of Tebow shouldn’t matter as Florida’s defense will eat up the Tigers all night long. Expect turnovers, fast southern kids & lots of NFL players on Saturday.
FINAL SCORE: FLORIDA 27, LSU 13

[**] Minnesota/Alabama/Iowa 6.5 teaser: Minnesota to at least win, Alabama to beat Ole Miss & Iowa to win by 2 or more against Michgan? I like it. [$5 wager to win 9]

[**] Wisconsin/South Carolina/Iowa 10 teaser: I think Wisconsin can keep it within 26 of Ohio State, South Carolina to win outright at home against Kentucky, & riding the Iowa train again.[$3.60 wager to win 3]

FRIDAY FOOTBALL FEAST: SHOCKTOBER 2nd, 2009

2009-10-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

Scoops McCracken: What would be a better job to take this off season: Colorado or Illinois?
Peoria Pliers: Illinois...you don't have to compete with the sharks already in the tank in the Big 12. You've got a renovated stadium, a few good recruiting classes to build on, and Chicago in your back yard. Absolutely Illinois. Plus, the person you are replacing is arguably the worst game-day coach since Art Shell, so the standards are set painfully low
Scoops McCracken: To play devil's advocate though, Colorado is in the Big XII north, which means that you can compete with Nebraska, Kansas & Missouri rather well. And they hammer the California recruiting scene. I think they'd both be good jobs though
Peoria Pliers: I just think that recruiting in California is going to be VERY tough, as if it isn't already. Sarkisian at Washington, Pete C at USC, Tedford at Cal...tough sleddin' in that part of the world Let me ask you this...What would be a bigger disaster for the state of Florida? Charlie Christ being assasinated by an pro-choice nutjob or Tim Tebow suffering a career-ending injury this season before the national championship game?
Scoops McCracken: Easily Tebow....did you see the people scared & near in tears last week that were at Kentucky? Those people think he's a cross between Jesus & Chuck Norris.
Peoria Pliers: That would be a devastating combination. If Jesus and Chuck Norris were to merge, whose beard wins? Is it Jesus with a thicker knapp beard or does Jesus' beard win out?
Scoops McCracken: I think it depends if there's another fist in Chuck Norris' beard. Not many super exciting games this weekend.
Peoria Pliers: I'm looking forward to Michigan/Michigan State and Auburn/Tennessee, other than that it is a pretty big snoozefest. USC/Cal? Not quite the matchup it once was now that Oregon took it to the Bears last week. That QB is a huge liability for Cal, and I still don't think Tedford knows that he has the best RB in the business.
Scoops McCracken: Yeah, not as big now, but I don't think USC's is at a USC level right now either. I think Cal at home will be a huge lift. Enough of a lift for a win shall be seen.
Peoria Pliers: How many more years does Dr. Lou have left in his tank before he is nothing more than a caucasion raisin, dried up in the sun, babbling about Tony Rice and Joe Montana?
Scoops McCracken: He is losing it for sure. I don't know about ESPN anymore....I don't like Desmond Howard, I don't like their #1 11AM team of Pasch & Griese (who I think has slipped BIG TIME) and don't get me started on freaking Pam Ward & Ray Bentley as the ESPN2 11AM game team.
Peoria Pliers: I can see that, although I like Desmond since he's a little edgy compared to most of the clowns doing pre-game football shows these days. I would wholeheartedly agree that the state of college football announcing on ESPN is poor at best
Scoops McCracken: I like Mark Jones, and their primetime game with Franklin still brings the fastball in the mid 90s, but they're going downhill. Edgy? I don't want edgy. I don't want hip. You sound like you liked it when Poochie came on the Itchy & Scratchy show on the Simpsons.
Peoria Pliers: What can I say, I can only take the general consensus that "Case Keenum is a real football player" and "Rich Rodriguez has something going in Michigan" and that "Miami has its swagger back" and that "Mark Richt is a heckuva football coach" and that "Oregon's win against Cal is huge for their program" or that "Boise State has a real shot at the title game as long as they can win out" I've just summed up 84% of the NCAA football pre-game shows
Scoops McCracken: Well played, sir.
Peoria Pliers: I'm just sick of it. Sure, Poochie sucked, but maybe we need everything to get blown apart and remade. It is the small things that aggravate me the most these days when watching football. Not a single NFL broadcast includes the number of timeouts under the score at the top of the screen, a revolution that made it's way to EVERY NCAA football game three or four years ago. What gives? I'm sick of the old standards of Ray Bentley, Mike Patrick, Mark May, Trev Alberts, Dan Dierdorf, and Al McGuire spewing the same cliches 52 times every weekend
Scoops McCracken: Hey, preaching to the choir. My dad & I have been saying for years that we still measure a first down with 2 sticks & a chain, which probably gets moved 4 times that could affect the inch that it makes it by or misses by per series. Lasers & GPS, my friend.
Peoria Pliers: What does it take to get some fresh blood in the booth? Herbstreit is a good change of pace, and Jesse Palmer would be OK if he wasnt trying to out-analyze Craig James every time he talked
Scoops McCracken: I actually like Jesse Palmer....and I think Herbstreit works well when with Musberger.
Freaking Musberger....I can't get sick of him at all. That guy still is chucking 99mph in my book
Peoria Pliers: I'm just saying its always the same crap. He is a machine, no doubt. Too bad he's about to die of colorectal cancer or contract some flesh eating virus. He looks like a skeleton with skin-colored drapes hanging off the bones
Scoops McCracken: He was the guest on PTI at the start of the season and he was in a racing suit doing the interview from pit row in Atlanta two days before the Bama-VA Tech game. Crazy. Everybody wants to be hip. ESPN just bugs the hell out of me, but I won't go there. At least they haven't hired Thom Brennamen yet.
Peoria Pliers: One NASCAR related note - have you seen that they do a Christian convocation before each race? Not that I'm expecting a huge Jewis/Muslim crowd at a Nascar event, but doesn't that just seem a bit odd? Also, what is the over/under on how long it takes some of the private southern schools to start doing the same thing before football games?
Scoops McCracken: What do they all do? A lot more than just a prayer?
Peoria Pliers: It is a prayer, but it's decidingly denominational, which is a departure from most of the unitarian types of things that other events do http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7286393/
Scoops McCracken: I'd say Nascar knows their fanbase and that's why they knock the popularity game out of the park against everyone other than the NFL
Peoria Pliers: I'm not saying I have anything against it - they can do whatever they want - but if I wasn't turned off of Nascar before, this seals the deal. I'm just more surprised that their approach hasn't bled into other sports. I could see BYU doing it, or even Notre Dame, but they don't.
Scoops McCracken: I'm actually surprised they don't already
Peoria Pliers: I kind of agree with you now that I think about it...maybe Sister Moriarity can help us out with this one. Time will tell. So its 2020, Obama is out of office and a distant memory, Jeb Bush is presiding over the oval office, NASCAR is the most popular sport after the NFL lockout of 2011-2015 kills it off as the worlds most popular sport, and Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have died in a horrible car crash, which has sent the nation reeling and looking for answers. Here's the question - Is June Jones still at SMU? If so, what is their record for the 2019 season, and whats their outlook for the 2020 season?
Scoops McCracken: HA! I actually thought he was still at Hawaii until you just told me. They'll either be what they always are, and that's mediocre, or some SMU good ole' boys will take things into their own hands, start getting Mustang football going the old fashioned way, and be 11-1 and two years away from a monster probation scandal.
Peoria Pliers: What conference are they in, C-USA?
Scoops McCracken: I would have said WAC, but not sure. You see that Notre Dame's sellout streak dating back to 1973 is in jeopardy. Tickets still remaining for tomorrow. Of course someone like Joliet Catholic or St. Mary's the Virgin Church in Chicago will probably buy them up just to make sure it stays in tact.
Peoria Pliers: Wow! Maybe I'll start driving to South Bend right now and try to pick some tickets up. I guess there is quite a bit of other things to do in South Bend...they have a Taco Bell, a Goodwill, and even an Hardees! No kidding...pass the football-shaped collection plate around
Scoops McCracken: I was thinking about making Washington my first "lock of the week"....+13.5? Don't forget a Bob Evans. South Bend is quite similar to that Lake Michigan port Days Inn you & I stayed at in 2002.
Peoria Pliers: Ohhhh yeah. Bob Evans. That place makes Perkins look like Kincaids mixed with The Mesa Grill. What a pile. That Washington line is too juicy for me, it was so good that I figured it was a myth. And I think I'm like 1-54 in the past two years picking Washington games, so I figured I'd take a step back this week
Scoops McCracken: Good point....beware of the line that seems too good to be true.
Peoria Pliers: Those lines are like a hotdog from a gas station. They look so good, turning over and over in their own grease. Then you taste it and you are more dissapointed than a mortician at a daycare. You've just got to stay away. Stay very, very far away.
Scoops McCracken: True.....I need to go off football for one sec and ask you your opinion on the olympics. Is there a more arrogant bunch than an IOC official? Nobody thinks they're a big shot that really isn't than an IOC official. Check these quotes out: Former IOC member Kai Holm said that the brevity of his appearance may have counted against Chicago. The short stopover was "too business-like," Holm said. "It can be that some IOC members see it as a lack of respect." Get over yourselves. And Madrid's surprising success in reaching the final round came after former IOC president Juan Antonio Samaranch made an unusual appeal for the Spanish capital, reminding the IOC's members as he asked for their vote that, at age 89, "I am very near the end of my time."
Peoria Pliers: I think that is a GREAT point. When they announce the final decision, do the do the Mussolini hand gesture? The good ol' boy nature of that process really puts the SEC into perspective
Scoops McCracken: I like watching the olympics and go USA USA with teh best of them, but honestly. Get freaking over yourselves.
Peoria Pliers: I've never really cared about where they were held before, but this time I was pretty fired up about the possibility of having some of the soccer matches at The Bank. Alas, the IOC chose "The Calcutta of the West" for their games. Brazil is a HELLHOLE , at least parts of it are. But I guess if China can shield the world from it's squalor, so can the Brazillians. O/U on how many Brazillian players or coaches get shot if they don't win the gold medal in soccer?
Scoops McCracken: I guess I didn't even know that olympic soccer was that big of a deal.
Peoria Pliers: and then compare that number to the same question for Candian hockey players for the games this winter in Vancouver. It really isn't, but most of the big names play, and it would be a sweet thing to see, especially if there was a huge delegation from some goofball country
Scoops McCracken: Best part about olympic hockey.....they're playing on NHL rink size....talk about taking away the biggest advantage any of the European teams would have against Canada. Canada not winning the gold would be comparable to Eden Prairie not winning the Lake conference in football. You better freaking win!
Peoria Pliers: Except that the Candian head coach isn't as much of a total, complete, 100% dirtbag as in Eden Prairie. I heard that he was pissed off about the conference realignment so when Rosemount came to play E.P. a few weeks ago he wouldn't let them into any locker rooms. they had to change outside. All class, that one. My favorite part? YOUR tax dollars pay part of his salary AND build his football facility! Huzzah Huzzah!
Scoops McCracken: Rosemont was given a shed which is where all visiting teams go before the game & halftime. whether rosemount got there early and was supposed to be given a lockerroom, I don't know. Do visiting teams actually change at the school on the road now? We always had to ride shoulder pad to shoulder pad on a school bus.
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough...I am basing this all off of the Strib, so who knows what the reality is
Scoops McCracken: I read that too....I think it only got one side of it.
Peoria Pliers: So did we, BUT THIS IS LAKE CONFERENCE FOOTBALL! It still sounds like something he'd do
Scoops McCracken: I don't deny that he probably does a bunch of things to make teams not welcome when they play at EP, but I think there are two sides to it. I remember our locker room being a tackling dummy shed at Tonka. Actually, the nicest visitor place was Richfield. At least they gave you something. I remember an elementary school room at Hopkins, never played Armstrong or Cooper on the road since they were building new stadiums at the time, and Wayzata was at their old high school and it was a dirty gym room
Peoria Pliers: Ohhhh yeah baby, its a proud Richfield tradition. Coddle you before the game, take our loss like men, and then kiss you goodbye on your fancy school bus. Wayzata was building their pantheon when I was there, so I don't really remember much of that whole thing other than getting run over by Jeremy Leuer about 155 times

Peoria's Picks - Week 5 - It's Nut Cuttin' Time

2009-10-01T11:47:00.001-07:00

If I were more cliched, I'd write some lyrics to "Wanna Be Startin' Something" right here to celebrate my triumphant return to .500 with my picks. But that shit would be tired and wrong.

Instead, I'm going to go with some more appropos lyrics from everyone's favorite Viking Death Metal Band, Amon Amarth.

"Charge your horses through the fields...together we ride...INTO DESTINY!"

(Isn't Sweden Great?)

OK, so maybe my results weren't exactly pillaging and burning the gambling scene since I was only .500, but it was a rush nonetheless. Onto this week's lines. Let's keep this trend moving all the way to Valhalla.

Last Week - 4-4

YTD - 11-20

Michigan getting 3.5 at MICHIGAN STATE. No matter what happens, this game should be close, and I like Michigan's talent a lot better than the puds that Dantonio has thrown on the field thus far. Michigan's defense stifles a lethargic Spartan offense (who really, REALLY miss Javon Ringer). Wolverines 28, Spartans 24.

Clemson by 11.5 at MARYLAND. As I already mentioned, the wheels have fallen off of the bus at Maryland. Their talent level is about 1/5th of Clemson's, and Dabo Sweeney has got about four or five weeks left until his high-energy approach starts wearing off. Yeah, I know Clemson is a bigger choke artist than Chuck Knoblauch holding a paintbrush full of oil paint, but this isn't a big game for them, only for Maryland. Tigers 35, Maryland 13.

MINNESOTA by 2 at Wisconsin. Hell, I don't know what is going to happen in this game, especially considering that the T-Brew Crew was out punching people in the face and swinging wooden boards at D-III football players last weekend. This will be a close game, and the T-Brew Crew held off a feisty Northwestern team last weekend in front of about 857 people. OK, so there were 22,0091 people there, but I'm pretty sure that at least 12,000 of them were reading Hemingway while calculating the specific gravity of Mercury suspended in a collodial protein solution. This weekend should bring 51,000+ out for the game against the hated Badgers, which should be a good advantage. Plus, I think Wisconsin is a very, very poor team. All they have is 2 good running backs and a QB doing his best Kyle Orton as a Denver Bronoco impresssion. Ugly. Gophers 31, BADgers 28.

Penn State by 7 at ILLINOIS. Let me "Break it to you Gently" Zooker, you are officially on the hot seat. With Juice Williams playing more like Juice Newton these days, there are some rough times ahead for the Illini. Their frighteningly explosive offense now looks the the equivalent of a SCUD missile launcher firing bottle rockets into the desert sky. As the Juice Flows, so flow the Illini. Penn State has to find an O-Line, but their defense has more than enough mojo to shut down the only weapon that the Zooker has left, Arelious Benn. Paternos Patsies 31, Zookers Hookers 14.

C'mon Coach, let me sing "Queen of Hearts! I can't throw any picks when I'm singing karaoke!"

The OVER at 47.5 on the Navy/AIR FORCE game. As always, a yearly favorite to watch. This got me thinking, other than football, the only other rivalry I can think of between these two branches of the military is who had the best movies made about themselves. Quite amazing if you think about it, since the Air Force is losing this battle about 79-2. Navy has Top Gun, Crimson Tide, Midway, Hunt for Red October, NAVY Seals (possibly Charlie Sheen's best work), A Few Good Men, G.I. Jane, Under Seige (Segal at his finest), South Pacific (for those Musical lovers out there), and The Caine Mutiny. The Air Force? Ha. Let's think... Hot Shots!, Stealth, and Memphis Belle. That's about it. I guess with all of the homos in Hollywood it is no surprise that the Navy has better results at the box office, but I digress, since we are still living in a "don't ask, don't tell" era. Anyway, this game always produces more points than it feels like it should, kind of like Eric Mangini taking a dump after swallowing a bag full of jacks. Get it? Produces more "points"? Ha. Midshipmen 35, Cadets 38.

The UNDER at 50.5 on the Oklahoma/MIAMI game. Until last year this game has always been a close one, and this one shapes up as a defensive struggle akin to the trench warfare of WWI. Remember, this Oklahoma defense blanked Tulsa and Idaho State the last two weeks and Miami's defense is no slouch itself. Without Bradford throwing darts around the field, I see this one as a slugfest that ends with low scoring and a Sooner victory. Stoopsie 24, Randy Shannon 17.

The OVER at 51 on the Auburn/TENNESSEE game. Layno's got a decent defense, but there isn't a D-Coordinator that has figured out how to stop Guz Malzahn's offense regardless of where he has coached. Tigers 38, Vols 28.

Alabama by 16 at KENTUCKY. Am I worried about taking Nick Saban by over 2 TD's? Sure I am. But did you watch that abortion that Kentucky calls a run defense last week? My goodness, I think I've seen better run defenses in the Classic Lake. The Tide is going to run around, through, and past everyone in a blue uniform. The home field advantage didn't help the Domesticated Cats at home against Florida, and I doubt it is going to do much for them this week. Plus, Saban needs to blow out some SEC opponents to get his BCS cred, and this seems like the perfect time to do it. Tide 42, Persian Cats 14.

BIG TEN WEEK 2: RIVALS GALORE!

2009-09-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 6-3
Overall: 20-20-1
Win/Loss: + $2.34

TIME TO KEEP CHOPPING AWAY!

With a nice 6-3 record last week, I’m back at the .500 mark. Considering the wager amounts with hitting a Minnesota money line and a large 2-team teaser, I’m back in the positive money flow. A good recovery, I think. But as Mike Holmgren would constantly say after a playoff win, “But we’re NOT DONE YET!”

Which brings us to week 2 of the Big Ten season. A huge swing game for Minnesota & Wisconsin, a much needed game for Northwestern if they want to think bowl game, Illinois wanting to get going in the right direction before all hell breaks loose on the Zooker train, and big brother plays little brother in East Lansing.

Onto the picks:

Penn State (-6.5) over ILLINOIS: Nothing like having Pliers have to shove it. I told him that Iowa doesn’t get blown out. He had Paterno love going, and the results speak for themselves. Iowa dominated that game for the final 3 quarters and I should have been hammering the +340 that the Hawkeyes were carrying. I just settled on the spread.

Which brings us to two teams that are at a crossroads. Penn State’s O-Line got exposed for what I thought they were (copyright Denny Green). But Illinois is in Baloo Tail Spin mode right now. Two games against D-I foes and getting shellacked in both outings? Penn State continues the slide. Scoops says “lay the points, bitches!”
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 31, ILLINOIS 17

MICHIGAN STATE (PK) over Michigan: Michigan State got somewhat dominated at Madison last week, and their defense is not exactly up to the challenge. They do have a good passing attack going and the problem is NOT Kirk Cousins. Michigan, meanwhile, had to scratch & claw over Indiana at home, which is usually not a good conference tone setter. I think Michigan comes back to earth a bit and MSU finally gets a desperate win.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN STATE 34, MICHIGAN 31

Northwestern (+6.5) over PURDUE: Northwestern’s defense is shady, particularly their run defense as shown with Minnesota getting good yards on the ground, which may play right into Purdue’s hands. But Northwestern does have a good passing attack to keep them in games. I like the Cats to maintain the cover.
FINAL SCORE: PURDUE 27, NORTHWESTERN 24

Ohio State (-16.5) over INDIANA: Poor, Indiana. So close to getting a road win at Michigan. And now they get an Ohio State team that seems to be cranking it up on D, with them giving up 18 to USC and tossing 2 shut outs in a row. Indiana is 3-0 against the spread thus far, but 3-1 ATS Ohio State should cruise here.
FINAL SCORE: OHIO STATE 31, INDIANA 10

IOWA (-20.5) over Arkansas State: Letdown city for Iowa? Not with that defense. Their DL is way too quick & their offensive line way too experienced & mature. Iowa continues their hot hand.
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 38, ARKANSAS STATE 7

Washington (+13.5) over NOTRE DAME: Washington predictably took it on the chin at Stanford last week. Don’t let that fool you though. Their offense can score & 13.5 is way too much for Jake Locker against a Notre Dame team that easily could be 0-3 against the Big Ten.
FINAL SCORE: NOTRE DAME 30, WASHINGTON 24

[**] Washintgon/Penn State/Houston 6.5 teaser: I think Washington should easily keep it within 19, Penn State should beat Illinois outright, and Houston to beat UTEP by 11. [$5 wager to win 9]

MINNESOTA (-3) over Wisconsin: Boy, oh boy! The freaking Badgers. Undefeated freaking Badgers. Oh how I hate the freaking Badgers, Bielema, the Kollege Klub, Mike Eaves, Bo Ryan & their freaking band & people that say “Let’s go, Bucky!”

Is Wisconsin good? They seem to have a bit more balance, for sure. And their quarterback seems to be a bit different than the classic “insert QB’s name” that simply hands off. Where I think they are disgusting is the back 7 on defense, which Minnesota can hammer. The key for Minnesota, once again as it will be every week, is the OL play. If they can protect and give a bit of a running game (not much is needed, but just some), I think Minnesota should have some success.

Defensively, I like this team, despite Kafka going for 300+ yards passing last week. The Gophers pretty much made Northwestern one-dimensional, and they’ll eventually stop that. I like the LB’s, and the DT’s should be good against Wisconsin’s run offense. The key will once again be the safety play.

I like Minnesota jump out quickly as Wisconsin is on the road for the first time, and then it to go to the wire with Minnesota’s special teams being the difference.
FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 27, WISCONSIN 20

Oh Pliers Boy, The Pipes, The Pipes are Calling - Pliers Picks Week 3

2009-09-24T15:11:00.000-07:00

I've called myself a lot of things over the years, and loser is absolutely one of them (0-9 baby!), but I can't recall a losing streak like this since the first Bush administration was making mediocre policy decisions and pulling out of Iraq sooner than they should have. OK, so I was 11 years old back then, but still, I think I probably made more good decisions during my entire 7th grade year than I have so far this season.

No use crying over spilled covers, however, so we will keep going. I have decided, however, that if I don't turn it around in the next two weeks and average at least a .400 winning percentage I am going to quit handicapping NCAA football games and go straight for the Harness Racing scene. God help us if that happens.

Onto the picks...pray with me, Sister Moriarty...

Last Week - 2-6
YTD - 7-16

Mizzou by 7 at NEVADA. I am 95% sure that Nevada's entire offense is being held by a child molester in the backyard of an affluent California neighborhood. Can we get the FBI on top of this please? Nevada got shut down by Notre Dame and then came out and took a dump against Colorado State. Last year, the future CFL star Chase Daniel and his cronies hung 69 on Nevada, and that is historical precedent that oughta continue. Mizzou 48, Nevada 10.

Minnesota getting 1 at NORTHWESTERN. The last time the Gophers beat Northwestern, the country was still reeling from the re-election of George the Second and "Goodies" by Ciara was introducing the country to the hottest question of 2000's hip-hop..."Is Ciara really hot or just a post-op tranny?" Either way, I say the Gophers are two things:

More due for a victory than Phil Specktor's attorneys
More athletic than the Wildcats (I just shuddered saying that)

By that measure, I say that this game is a toss up since T-Brew is about 1/3rd the coach that Fitzgerald is, but I've gotta go with my Alma Mater this week. Call it a gut feeling Also, T-Brew, if you are reading, PLEASE THROW THE BALL TO GREEN. He's good. Seriously. Good. Gaffers 24, PurplePoos 14.

Ciara says, "Go Gophers! Does anyone have any more foundation makeup? I'm starting to get a 5 o'clock shadow here."

Washington getting 9 at STANFORD. Guess what, Mr. Harbaugh...Jake Locker is better than you were. And you were pretty stinkin' good. I love Locker, I like Washington's athleticism, I like their coaches, and I really like their confidence right now. Some might say this is a letdown game after bumping off USC last week, but after you lose almost 20 games in a row I don't think you need a letdown week to know how hard you've got to work to win. Washington pulls the upset in the Bay Area, but nobody notices since they are all trying to figure out ways to cripple our economy with anti-business initiatives. Huskies 35, Cardinal 21.

PENN ST by 9 vs Iowa. This is one of my favorite yearly matchups to watch every year. Iowa/PSU is the Big Ten equivalent of South Carolina/Georiga in the SEC, except once the comparison breaches the Mason-Dixon, the concept gets flipped. JoePa and Ferentz have two of the most disciplined and intelligent programs in the nation, the polar opposite of the weekly knifefights that take place across the south each weekend in the fall. Anyway, the difference in this game is Daryl Clark and the PSU crowd. Nittany Lions 24, Iowa 13.

Western Kentucky getting 30.5 at NAVY. Does Pliers know anything about Western Kentucky? No. Has he seen them play? No. Does he know that their mascot is a giant cotton ball dipped in red Kool-Aid? Yes. And he also knows that Navy is not about putting up huge amounts of points when they get up on someone. 4+ touchdown favorite? I'm the child of a 22-year Navy vet and even I think that is ridiculous. This isn't Midway, it's a football game! CottonBalls 14, Navy 38.

The Hilltoppers will run the white flag up the mast and call off the attack early...and I think Navy will oblige.

Rutgers getting 1 at MARYLAND. Sure, Schiano hasn't beaten anyone of note this year, but Ralphie's team looks like it might be better off staying home and playing with it's Red Ryder Carbine BB gun. They lost to M. Tennessee State last week, sneaked by James Madison, and got blown out by Cal on opening night. They just look slow out there to me, and I think it's time to show Ralph the door, he just isn't effective anymore. Rutgers 27, Maryland 10.
Sorry, Ralph, it looks like the dream is over. But in memory of all the good times you have given us, here is your parting gift. It's Italian.

Pittsburgh getting 1.5 at NC STATE. If any team exemplifies "The Ewing Theory" put forth by Bill Simmons more in the NCAA this season, I haven't seen it. We have all been waiting for Pitt to break out with the talent they have and the prudent coaching of Dave "The Bushy One" Wannstedt. So, what does it take? LeSean McCoy to go pro. Now the light goes on. Perfect. NC State is a lackluster program with lackluster talent in my opinion, and I like the guy on the sidelines at Pitt FAR more than the jerk-ass leading the Wolfpack. Panthers 21, Wolfies 9.

Michigan St getting 3 at WISCONSIN. I really hate this pick, but I need 8 and this is the best of what is left. I'm always weary of picking against Wisconsin at Camp Randall, but I think Michigan State is much better than they have played and I'm hoping Dan-Tony-O can resurrect the swagger they played with last year. King Leonidas 17, Stinking Badgers 10.

SCOOPS' PICKS: HE'S NOT A MACHINE, HE'S A MAN!

2009-09-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 8-4-1
Overall: 14-17-1
Win/Loss: - $35.33

HE’S CUT! HE’S CUT! THE RUSSIAN’S CUT!

The first two weeks of the college football season seem rather reminiscent of the first two rounds of the Christmas Day Balboa-Drago fight in Moscow 1985. Getting tossed around the ring, getting blasted, with no answer. I was cut, I was bleeding, but I was still on my feet.

And then? HE’S CUT! THE RUSSIAN’S CUT! I realized the gambling world is NOT A MACHINE…HE’S A MAN! And now the gambling god’s are sitting in their corner, saying to themselves “Scoops is not human…he’s like a piece of iron!” Wishful thinking, perhaps.

But a solid recovery last weekend, no doubt, going 8-4-1, and just missing on the two teasers with Northwestern butchering their +2 with a 3 point loss and Maryland losing last second to MTSU. With the Big Ten season starting up this weekend, taking the next step on the ladder is the goal.

And I’m learning as I go as well. First lesson learned: STAY AWAY FROM THE 3-TEAM TEASER. They look so juicy, like a big old steak just waiting to be eaten. Such juicy lines. And how many times can one get 2 or 3 right? So while the payoff may not be as good, I’m going to cut it down to 2-team teasers & straight plays and try to occasionally hit the money line on the dog.

Onto the picks:

Minnesota (+120) over NORTHWESTERN: Minnesota showed that they’re starting to get some athletes, particularly at LB to be able to compete at a higher level. That was the biggest thing I took out of their loss to Cal. Their LB’s are the best they have been in year. And that helps when facing a spread team like Northwestern. A misconception I believe is that to face a spread, you need 5-6 DB’s. DB’s are critical, but having the LB’s that can play in space is even more critical, I think. This is what Minnesota has never had.

This brings us to an interesting game. Northwestern lost at the buzzer to Syracuse, a team Minnesota beat at the buzzer. I think Minnesota is better now than they were then, but the health of Eric Decker comes into play as well. With a toss up game, go where you can take advantage of the dollar, and in that case, it’s Minnesota on the money line.
FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 30, NORTHWESTERN 27

Iowa (+10) over PENN STATE: Iowa is too good a football team to get blown out. Plus, Penn State is not having success running the ball, which plays into the hands of Iowa’s defense as their strength is the secondary. They also play smart offensively and Stanzi has been making plays in the 2nd half. Penn State wins, but Iowa covers.
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 27, IOWA 20

[**] Iowa (+16.5) / Minnesota (+9) 6.5 point teaser: Taking my own advice and cutting down from a 3-team to a 2-team teaser. Yes, the payoff isn’t as good, but I feel confident in these two teams hitting their respective numbers. Iowa hasn’t been blown out in a while, and the last time Northwestern defeated Minnesota by 10 points or more, Pat Fitzgerald was there….problem was HE WAS THEIR STARTING LB. [$20 teaser wager]

Indiana (+20) over MICHIGAN: Indiana is one of the teams that I have no idea about really, yet I keep on banging them and they keep on hitting the spread, with an outright win last week over Akron. Michigan wins, but they’re not 20 points better than Indiana
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 31, INDIANA 17

Michigan State (+130) over WISCONSIN: Big swing game for both teams (MSU doesn’t want to end up 1-3 to start the season) and Wisconsin faces it’s biggest rival on the road next weekend, so getting a win is rather critical. Wisconsin’s kicking game has been off, and that will make the difference in MSU getting the outright win.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN STATE 30, WISCONSIN 27

Illinois (+14.5) over OHIO STATE: It’s the pesky half point that has me leaning the Illini’s way. Juice has the offense to put up some points and will accept a 2 TD loss, but that half point leans money towards Illinois.
FINAL SCORE: OHIO STATE 38, ILLINOIS 24

PURDUE (-8.5) over Notre Dame: Just when it looked like Purdue was turning the corner with their close loss at Oregon, Northern Illinois came in and took it to them. Meanwhile, Notre Dame will get to experience life without Michael Floyd for the first week. I think the health of Jimmy Clausen is very key to Notre Dame and his lack of it will help Purdue cover.
FINAL SCORE: NOTRE DAME 27, PURDUE 24

GEORGIA TECH (-2.5) over North Carolina: The Jackets attempt to bounce back after their trouncing in Miami last Thursday. Look for Dwyer to finally get back on track and Georgia Tech to get the win without needing the points.
FINAL SCORE: GEORGIA TECH 31, NORTH CAROLINA 20

Texas Tech (even) over HOUSTON: The Cougars are all amped up for this game as the Red Raiders come into town. Being ramped up sometimes results in too much emotion and a let down, and that will happen as the pass happy Raiders take the win.
FINAL SCORE: TEXAS TECH 38, HOUSTON 34

U-G-L-Y...Pliers is looking for an Alibi

2009-09-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

After the stinkbomb I put up last week, let us move onto greener pastures with a slew of good looking lines for the NCAA week ahead. I need to wash the stink of last week off of me worse than Jim Carrey had to wash the trannyness off of him in Ace Ventura. I feel dirty.

Onto the picks...god help us all.

Last Week - 2-6
YDT - 5-11

Georgia Tech getting (yes GETTNG) 5.5 at MIAMI. Sure, I fell in love with the Miami defense two weeks ago against The Bowden Boys. Then, Bowden almost lost to JACKSONVILLE STATE. What a shocker that would have been. Too bad, really. Anyway, Georgia Tech's defense is stout as usual, and their offense too a great change of pace for a bunch of stupid thugs to try to adapt to. Miami's secondary will snuff out much of the Ga Tech attack, but Miami won't score many points either, and their home crowd is roughly as ambivalent as a Gopher crowd in the Metrodome. Ga Tech 17, Miami 14.

VA TECH by 4 vs Nebraska. No comment. Va Tech 24, Nebraska 14.

The OVER at 56.5 on the OREGON ST/Cincy game. Tony Pike is good for what, 4 touchdowns? Add a few by Jacquizz Rogers and the typical Beaver putn return for TD and we have an OVER! Cincy 42, Oregon St 28.

BYU by 7 vs Florida St. Do you think that the Mormon Priests will shudder a little bit when the Seminoles get off of their plane in Utah? BYU is a pretty tough football team, playing at home, in the mountains, against a team traveling 3 timezones that almost donked a game to Jacksonville St. Sure, the Seminoles are staring an 0-3 start directly in the face, but BYU has national title aspirations and always seem ready to play. I like BYU in this one. BIG. Glenn Beck will be so happy he might not even pit any acrid misinformation after the big win. BYU 42, Florida State 14.

UCLA by 11.5 vs Kansas St. Ugghhh...Kansas State is horrible. There are more talented teams playing on the island of Manhattan than there are in the city of Manhattan, KS. UCLA might not be elite, but you don't have to be to beat K-State by 2 TDs. UCLA 38, K-State 10.

Georgia by 1.5 at AR-Kansas. Got I hate Petrino. I really, really do. I just can't bet on his teams, which is probably why I have a 20% win rate this year. But I don't give a shit. That guy is less reputable than a Snake Oil salesman on Coney Island. Eff him. Georgia 28, Ar-Kansas 14.

FLORIDA by 28 vs Tennessee. Urban Meyer is not going to call off the dogs (as if he ever does anyway), and Lane "Shoot First" Kiffin does not have the players to compete. Hell, I'm not even sure if the last team Layne coached has the talent to beat Florida. Gators 59, Vols 21.

Wyoming getting 7 at COLORADO. The wheels of the Dan Hawkins bus have officially fallen off, bounced down the mountain, and splashed into the watery remnants of the melted glacier at the bottom. Wyoming hung in there with Texas last week until a guy named Colt showed the Cowboys why they aren't in the Big-12. Colorado doesn't belong there, either. Wyoming 31, Colorado 14.

SEPTEMBER 19th PICKS: CAN I WIN ANY MONEY?

2009-09-16T12:46:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 2-7
Overall: 6-13
Win/Loss: - $66.50

I apologize if you’re actually still listening to me. Probably better of running for the hills rather than put your money on anything that I say. Getting killed right now. Worst of it is I’m getting killed on the games that I actually think I know what I’m doing. I’m hitting the ones that I have no idea on. Hopefully can get off the snide here.

Cal (-14) over MINNESOTA: All I’m hoping for this week is the Gophers to keep it close. Cal may be the best team they face the entire season, so as this game makes them a better team for when they face Wisconsin & Iowa, I’m all for it.

Regarding the game. Minnesota’s offense is completely sleepwalking through the 1st half right now. They showed some signs of life in the 2nd half, but that won’t cut it against the speed that Cal will show. I think the Gophers have a shot if they can keep Best in the 90-120 yard range. But I see a complete ability of Cal to exploit the biggest weakness in the Gophers Defense, which is the safeties. Gophers play with emotion early, but Cal pulls away.
FINAL SCORE: CALIFORNIA 34, MINNESOTA 17

Indiana (+4.5) over AKRON: One of my classic “I have no idea” games, which I’m surprisingly pretty good at thus far in the season. I do know that Indiana’s defense isn’t playing horrible, and that’s enough for me when you’re a 4.5 dog against a MAC team.
FINAL SCORE: AKRON 20, INDIANA 17

IOWA (-5.5) over Arizona: Iowa seemed to get off the Ames hex that’s been placed over them last week with a bombing of a poor Iowa State team. Home crowd should be enough to give them a 10 point victory.
FINAL SCORE: IOWA 24, ARIZONA 13

MICHIGAN (-22.5) over Eastern Michigan: Freaking Eastern Michigan. For two weeks in a row, they’ve caused the pain in my 3-team teaser. That shit ends this Saturday as Michigan shows no letdown and continues to attempt to show everyone that they’re back.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 38, EASTERN MICHIGAN 10

Michigan State (+11) over NOTRE DAME: MSU has owned Notre Dame recently and 11 points is just too much.
FINAL SCORE: NOTRE DAME 34, MICHIGAN STATE 27

Northwestern (-3) over SYRACUSE: Perhaps Syracuse isn’t as dogshit as I previously thought? And Northwestern is not getting the defensive line play that was expected either. The Cats need the tune up before the Big Ten season kicks off next weekend and they will eek out the win in the Carrier Dome, continuing Paulus & Marrone’s unhappy start.
FINAL SCORE: NORTHWESTERN 24, SYRACUSE 20

OHIO STATE (-20.5) over Toledo: What I expect out of the Buckeyes this week is a lot of answering to the “your offense is what lost you the game versus USC last week” statement that’s hanging around C-Bus. Ohio State tries to send a message that they have some offensive talent still, despite a conservative approach on the sidelines.
FINAL SCORE: OHIO STATE 34, TOLEDO 10

Temple (+30.5) over PENN STATE: I’m sick & tired of trying to have Penn State cover these 4 TD spreads when they’re quite content winning by 3 TD’s.
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 38, TEMPLE 10

Northern Illinois (+13.5) over PURDUE: NIU is a decent MAC team, lost by only 8 at Madison, and will keep it at the 10 point range over a Purdue team that seems a bit peskier than first believed.
FINAL SCORE: PURDUE 31, NORTHERN ILLINOIS 20

[**] Iowa (+0.5) / Cal (-7.5) / Texas (-10) 6.5 point teaser: I have to start hitting some of the teasers I have going. I think Iowa beats Arizona, Cal takes Minnesota by more than 1 score, and Texas gets some big sized revenge on Texas Tech this weekend. [$5 teaser wager, $8 payoff]

[**] Iowa (+0.5) / Northwestern (+2) / Clemson (pk) 6.5 point teaser: I gotta hit one of these, right? [$5 teaser wager, $8 payoff]

[**] Pitt (-0.5) / Colorado (-0.5) / Maryland (pk) 6.5 point teaser: Or is 3rd time the charm? I like Pitt over Navy, Colorado to get a desperation mode win over Wyoming, and Maryland to get a win over Middle Tennessee State. [$5 teaser wager, $8 payoff]

FLORIDA (-29.5) over Tennessee: Kiffin will eventually get some guys in, but this is not the year. And with all the hubbub that’s gone on during the offseason, Meyer is in a complete F-U mode in this game and won’t be shy about running up the score.
FINAL SCORE: FLORIDA 54, TENNESSEE 13

THURSDAY THROWDOWN CHAT TRANSCRIPT (09/10/09)

2009-09-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

Peoria Pliers: Let me start this one off...I love Miami's football program these days, but am I the only person who thinks that the claim that "The 'U'" is back is totally premature? A dropped TD pass by an FSU player turning into a Miami victory isn't exactly a ringing endorsement in my opinion
Scoops McCracken: I agree....I think both programs are in the right direction, but that "they're back" is way too premature. But I think Miami's in the right direction and like what Shannon is doing. But it's good having Miami, FSU & apparently Notre Dame being relevant again.
Peoria Pliers: Agreed. I love Randy Shannon, and I'm absolutely smitten with Miami's secondary. Love it.
Scoops McCracken: I wanted to ask you about Mandel's mailbag this week, he covered a big chunk about Notre Dame.
Peoria Pliers : What did Mandel have to say?
Scoops McCracken: Pretty much, he had 6 theories/reasons why there's resentment towards Notre Dame.
(1) The Irish play by their own set of rules (i.e.: BCS treats Notre Dame with special treatment)
(2) Relentless Media Attention
(3) NBC Contract
(4) Their (perceived) arrogance
(5) The BCS bowl losses
(6) Their coach is a (perceived) S.O.B.
I thought a bit about why I'm not a Notre Dame fan. I guess I'm not a Weiss fan, but I liked Bob Davie and Willingham. The NBC thing doesn't bother me much because they're not that above any Big Ten or SEC school in terms of television revenue due to the new contract for the SEC and the Big Ten network. I don't know if their arrogance is much greater than what I've experienced from Michigan fans. The media attention is a bit much, but it is what it is. I think the one thing that bugs me the most is the special attention they get when it comes to the BCS, and that ties into their BCS losses. Why does Notre Dame get a rule saying if they're in the top 8 in the BCS standings they get a bid? Why not Texas? Or Ohio State? Or Florida? Or USC? They get into games they have no business being in, like the 2006 Fiesta Bowl & 2007 Sugar Bowl.
Peoria Pliers: I agree with that special treatment being total B.S. and an indicator of the greed of the NCAA, but what really turns me off of them is the fact that they seem to get over hyped EVERY YEAR, all of their recruiting classes are supposedly top 10, but then they find a way to lose EVERY YEAR. How that translates into BCS berths, I will never understand. It seems to me that if anyone is to blame out there in South Bend for the losses it is the peripheral coaching staff that doesn't take prized recruits to the next level of actually competing against the whos-who of college football. But, since they all have golden helmets on, nobody calls anyone out. It is a sham. And Dr. Lou is absolutely off his rocker, by the way that may be another reason people hate them...the cheerleading from the ESPN peanut gallery/hospice that is Lou Holtz's armchair
Scoops McCracken: I think they drop one in the next two weeks, either to Michigan or Michigan State, and USC is going to do what they always do to them. ESPN's going to do what's in their best interest, and that means ratings, so pimping Notre Dame helps ratings, as will the ridiculous pimping of the SEC over the next 15 years due to the new televison deal. Of course they did it because they were afraid the SEC was going to launch their own network due to the success of the Big Ten network and they would suddenly be without the two biggest ratings conferences in college football, but that's another issue.
Peoria Pliers: The biggest problem with the SEC deal is that I doubt I'm going to get as many shots of toothless rednecks that mortgaged their trans-am to get tickets to Florida/Tennesee anymore. ESPN is too high brow for that type of coverage, but CBS wasn't
Scoops McCracken: I don't get how so many people are Notre Dame fans for a university that doesn't have a large enrollment. CBS had it made: afternoon game sponsored by the Home Depot. Only thing missing was a Nascar promo, but ESPN will help out with that.
Peoria Pliers: Hey, you’re the religious one...Catholics are crazy. True. Who ya got in the "Race for the Chase" this year, anyway? I know I'm a big Brian Vickers Fan. WOOO HOOO!
Scoops McCracken: I ain't catholic though....and I don't exactly live & die with Gustavus football. Uh...is Kasey Kahne still in the chase? I do give nascar one thing though in terms of it being a sport: I've never seen a fat race car driver.
Peoria Pliers: I didn't say you were Catholic. I just thought you might understand the irrational fandom
Scoops McCracken: I suppose you're right; go to catholic school and suddenly you're a Notre Dame alumnus.
Peoria Pliers: I think Tony Stewart is a little paunchy, isn't he? Exactly. Just ask the whackos in the Illinois Catholic High School league. They are like the Blues Brothers with shoulder pads and slightly lighter arrest records
Scoops McCracken: Like the Ruttiger family....punch in & out of the steel mill and tune in to Notre Dame on Westwood One on Saturday's. Anyway, I just hope if they go to a BCS game, they're deserving of it....probably not, but hopefully.
Peoria Pliers: I still like the fact that the last time Notre Dame was relevant, their football team rode the back of a guy named "Raghib" to success
Scoops McCracken: Yeah, you can't really make that up.
Peoria Pliers: How about this question...is it too early to call Jimmy "The Promise" Clausen a bust? While the NBC announcers might have thought he played a great game last week, I saw a bunch of atheletes covering up his horrible throws and happy feet
Scoops McCracken: I don't know...I'd hold judgment until this year. It's others that gave him a label of being better than what he is. If he doesn't lead them to at least 9 wins this year, I think it's a fair label.
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough...he can't stop the hype around himself I guess. I have been wanting to drive his bandwagon for the past three years but after last week I've decided to move my patronage to Tony Pike from Cincy. That guy is good.
Scoops McCracken: I dig Cincy and think they can do what Miami has done, perhaps with a bit less speed but bigger linemen. No reason they can't take the reigns & be a factor with the recruiting base they got. Poor Schiano.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah. Schiano looks defeated. The competition is just too good, and it is strange since there is so much talent around that area. From what I hear, the area is a total ghetto so that may be a problem with his recruiting
Scoops McCracken: I guess to me, New Jersey just doesn't sound like a place I want to spend my college, whether it be Rutgers, Princeton, or Atlantic City Blackjack college. Notre Dame-Michigan?
Peoria Pliers: Boring. Didn't pick it
Scoops McCracken: ah yes....boring, but Western Michigan-Indiana is hot, eh?
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough. I didn't see enough out of either team to know who is going to win
Scoops McCracken: So, what can the Big Ten do to get to the SEC level, other than lower academic standards?
Peoria Pliers: Start recruiting kids from the south. There is just too much talent down there compared to the talent up here in my opinion. Other than that, I've got no answers.
Scoops McCracken: Biggest surprise/disappointment from week 1?
Peoria Pliers: Surprised at how good Miami's secondary is. Dissapointed at Oklahoma's offensive line play. Also, dissapointed that Byron Hout didn't get suspended for at least one game.
Scoops McCracken: Yeah, something public should have been done. I'm sure he ran stadium stairs a few early mornings, but something in public should have been done. To me, the problem with Blount was totally the aftermath & the going after fans. Just punching the player? 1 game, perhaps 2 games max in my eyes.
Peoria Pliers: Agreed on the "going after the fans" tip, that guy was out of control. He lost a few million dollars in guaranteed salary in about 15 minutes. I guess that puts him in some elite company, though...MC Hammer, OJ Simpson, Phil Spector. What game are you looking forward to the most this weekend?
Scoops McCracken: Obviously Minnesota-Air Force...but I want to see how USC does in the Horseshoe. The only place that compares to being as intense as C-Bus is Eugene. I want to see how Barkley is on his first road trip. Almost seems like Scott Frost & Nebraska @ Arizona State in 1996. I also want to see Notre Dame & Michigan to see if one is for real. I also want to hear the USC & OSU bands blasting back & forth at each other....I'm also interested in seeing how the punchclocks react to the Song Girls.

The Murder Trains 'a Comin'

2009-09-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure whose performance was weaker last week, Scoops and Pliers or the Big 10. I feel akin to Jules from Pulp Fiction when it comes to my Big 10 fandom, "I'm tryin, Ringo...I'm tryin REAL HARD to be the shepard. But that shit ain't the truth is. The truth is YOU ARE THE WEAK [Big 10 football]. And I [the rest of the NCAA D1 teams] am the TYRANNY OF EVIL MEN"

As I watched the events of Saturday afternoon align to make the Big 10 miraculously go 10-1 (thanks for nothing, Zooker) and allow James Delaney and the rest of the old-guard jerkoffs live their belief that the Midwestern teams can still compete with the SEC, Pac-10, and Big 12. This weekend should be a real eye-opener, and hopefully Scoops and I can pick up on that to capitalize on the lucrative betting lines this week. Off to the picks.

Last week - 3-5
Year to date - 3-5

Air Force getting 4.5 at MINNESOTA. I'll echo Sgt. Slaughter's comments...if the Minny line was that shook up in the Carrion Dome, imagine what they are going to be like at home with the Lou Nanne all-star team screaming at them all game long. Sure, Nichols State is a horseshit team, but putting up 72 points on anybody other than a group of elderly nuns, ESPECIALLY when you run the ball 90% of the time, shows that you have your mesh points working pretty well. Minnesota's undersized defense will keep up with the AF boys for a while, but I doubt that they even win the game, much less cover the spread. At least the stadium is pretty. Screaming Eagles 35, Minnesota 28.

North Carolina by 3.5 at UCONN. Yeah, I'm picking two road teams back to back...wanna fight about it? I believe in North Carolina's speed, T.J. Yates, and Butch Davis more than the ghost of Dan Orlovsky. The video below reminds us all of the low point of the UCONN program since its rise to D1 a few years ago. Tar Heels 38, Hush Puppies 17.

Western Michigan getting 1.5 at INDIANA. Continuing my trend of picking against mediocre Big 10 teams making their home debut, I think this is a pretty easy pick...maybe too easy. Indiana is just not very good, and Western Michigan played very well against a much more talented Michigan team. I'm surprised the line is this close. Western Michigan 24, Indiana 17.

Pittsburgh by 10 at BUFFALO. I actually watched a few minutes of the Buffs last week. Not pretty. Pittsburgh looks ready to challenge for a conference title this year, and Buffalo is an also-ran in a horrible conference. Also, Buffalo has the worst logo in the NCAA, so that can't help.

OKLAHOMA ST by 14 vs Houston. The last time I thought about the Houston football program, David Klingler was leaving his Underwater Basket Weaving class (UBWV 1001) and heading to Cougar Field to hang 600+ yards on Sun Belt opponents. Sure, Houston can still chuck the ball around the field, but Zac Robinson and Dez Bryant are men amongst boys and should carry their momentum straight through the Cougars into a big win in Stillwater. Oklahoma St 49, Houston 24.

The OVER at 50 on the NAVY/Louisiana Tech game. I love Navy's offense, and if they can put up 27 against Ohio State, they oughta be able to put up at least 35 on Louisiana Tech's porous defense that is designed to stop high flying spread schemes. Also, call me crazy, but I don't like LA Tech's prospects of being disciplined enough to stop the triple option. Louisiana Tech scores a few touchdowns on defensive breakdowns; this game goes over before the start of the 4th quarter. Or at least I hope it does. Navy 38, La Tech 21.

The UNDER at 53 on the BOISE ST/Miami (Ohio) game. Boise's offense was unimpressive against Oregon, and Miami failed to score last week against Kentucky. Also, the under is like 102-5 in the last 107 games these guys have played. I like the metrics. Boise 38, Miami 10.

Southern Cal by 6.5 at OHIO STATE. No brainer. The best team in the Pac-10 against arguably the best team in the Big 10. The interview I saw with Matt "Corbra Kai" Barkley says to me that he isn't going to be rattled at the horseshoe. Sure, Pryor is going to invoke memories of Vince Young destroying the USC defense a few years back, but he is young and dumb...and OSU has no running back of note. After his whoopin', the Tressel-Haters will be out in force. Not that they should be. But I think they will be. This line started at 5...I wish I had been in on that! USC 28, OSU 17.

WEEK 2: "NO WHERE TO GO BUT UP!

2009-09-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

One word: OUCH! That’s the only way to describe opening weekend for myself. At least I wasn’t alone. And my loss wasn’t as big as the one suffered in Dallas last weekend by Oklahoma. And while I lost a three team teaser, at least I lost it big time with not only Oklahoma losing outright to fail to cover, but Ohio State not covering on their end of the dime either. I’d rather have that than lose by some measly missed extra point or something like that.

This brings us to week 2 of the season, and a nice slate of Big Ten games this week, what with the opening of TCF Bank Stadium for Minnesota, the rockstars known as USC head in to C-Bus, Michigan & Notre Dame meaning something, and Purdue getting to go to Eugene and attempt to not be a punching bag for Oregon (thank you, thank you….I’ll be here all season, folks!)

Time to punch the clock & get down to business.

[**] Air Force (-4.5) over MINNESOTA: My wager with Minnesota & Syracuse looked like the easiest money I had ever made about 19 seconds into the game last week. Almost like I was stealing and I felt bad. But then Adam Weber decided that he was going to throw every 5-7 yard out in front of and at the toes of every Minnesota WR the rest of the game minus the 4th quarter when they were fighting for their lives. I’m sort of torn on the Gophers’ performance. Syracuse is not a good football team (more on them a bit later) and Minnesota should have blasted them. But from what I hear from a few sources, it was VERY loud in the Carrier Dome, and the atmosphere was pretty intense. Add to that the emotion of a football team staying in it, and you have a game like that. I look at LSU-Washington as an example. Washington was 0-12 last year and while the addition of Jake Locker is huge, one player isn’t the only difference. The Washington crowd was into it, emotion plays a part with 18-22 year old kids, and you have an SEC West contender needing to escape with their lives out of Seattle over a team with a 14 game losing streak. Bottom Line: A win’s a win!

To this game: Air Force zoomed to a 72-0 win over something called Nichols State. They’re better than Navy, who gave Ohio State all they wanted. And they will move the ball & have some success on the Gophers. I would feel this way regardless of what I think of the Gophers. Minnesota opens the new stadium with a win, but it will only be by a field goal.
FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 34, AIR FORCE 31. [$11 straight wager, $10 payoff]

[**] PENN STATE (-30) over Syracuse: Syracuse is not a good football team. Arthur Jones is a legit DT and will be a 1st or 2nd round pick, and I was actually surprised by the poise of Paulus. But they lack talent, and Penn State will absolutely punish a defense that should have been punished last week. You come into danger when you hit the 30 point spreads because mistakes will keep the game at the 31-10 range or the team may put it into cruise control the 2nd half like Penn State did last week against Akron. But I think Penn State sees an opportunity to impress a few pollsters with the other big games on the schedule.
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 52, SYRACUSE 13 [$5.50 straight wager, $5 payoff]

MICHIGAN (+4) over Notre Dame: Oh no! Some sister named Helen Moriarty or whatever the bitch’s name is will put on a prayer curse on me. So I got that going for me, which is nice. Anyway, Michigan’s offense resembles a bit more of what Rodriguez assembled at West Virginia, but it’s still not quite there. Notre Dame wins, but Michigan gets the cover.
FINAL SCORE: NOTRE DAME 27, MICHIGAN 24

INDIANA (-1.5) over Western Michigan: A win’s a win, but Indiana was rather unimpressive on a lowly Thursday night. I guess my only reasoning behind this is I think Michigan would be Indiana by a similar score of what they did to Western Michigan, so it will be a close game, and I think Indiana will win by a field goal. Also note that last week, the games I got right were the games I had no clue about, like this one. So this may be a huge money maker because I have no idea what I’m doing.
FINAL SCORE: INDIANA 24, WESTERN MICHIGAN 21

[**] MICHIGAN STATE (-15) over Central Michigan: MSU has the defense and the offense will only get better. Michigan State, as said here at the beginning of the season, is a legit Big Ten contender. They will show even more while getting ready for next week’s tilt in South Bend.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN STATE 38, CENTRAL MICHIGAN 17 [$5.50 straight wager, $5 payoff]

Southern Cal (-7.5) over OHIO STATE: When I first saw this line, I messaged Pliers and said “either this line is WAY too low or WAY too high, but I don’t know which yet. You have on one hand, a true freshman QB making his first road start in a place that isn’t the best place for said freshman QB to make his first road start. A night game, in Columbus. A senior Vince Young needed an incredible play to Limus Sweed to get through it in 2005. And Daryl Clark didn’t even make it through 60 minutes last year as Penn State put up their lowest point total of the season. Problem is I don’t have any faith in Ohio State in a big game. You know that Pete Carroll was sitting watching the film of last week’s Ohio State-Navy game and simply giggling when watching the success Navy was having. And Ohio State’s offense has only one playmaker. Good thing for OSU is that guy has the ball in his hands every single time and will have some success….but Joe McKnight will have a lot more. And it doesn’t hurt to have Taylor Freaking Mays killing people either.
FINAL SCORE: USC 38, OHIO STATE 24

OREGON (-12) over Purdue: Time for Oregon to punch back in on the clock and go to work (so many ways to go with this). Purdue was impressive, but they were playing a Chester Taylor-less Toledo Rocket club. Autzen Stadium is different. Oregon’s offense will improve from week 1 to week 2, they’ll use the distraction of Blount as an opportunity, and will squeak by the spread for the cover.
FINAL SCORE: OREGON 31, PURDUE 17

ILLINOIS plays Illinois State this week, so no prediction, but hopefully, Juice is able to hit double digits this week.

OKLAHOMA STATE (-16) over Houston: Should I be worried about Oklahoma State a week after a big win against Georgia? I guess I’m more focused on the 24-3 outscoring of the Bulldogs from the 2nd quarter on.
FINAL SCORE: OKLAHOMA STATE 41, HOUSTON 14

[**] Northwestern (-12) / Iowa (pk) / Wisconsin (-2) 6.5 point teaser: Well, the 6 point teaser threw me on all fours & took me doggy last week in two separate times (although I did hit 2 in my Minnesota & Cal teaser, thanks Eastern Michigan). This week, I get revenge on Eastern Michigan by tossing them as the first victim in my 3 team teaser this week as I knock Northwestern down to a -12 (current line moved up to -20, so I like my timing). Iowa, while not impressive, I think will get at least a FG victory in Ames this week, so knocking them down to a pick should be good enough. And while Wisconsin will have their hands full with Fresno State, I see at least a 3 point win for the Badgers, so knocking them down to -2 should be good enough hopefully to get the teaser train back on track for the good times roll ahead. [$5 teaser wager, $9 payoff]

Friday Morning Coffee

2009-09-04T05:24:00.000-07:00

Peoria Pliers (12:25AM, 9/4/09): Boise. Covers. Huuu-rah! Yahtzee.
Scoops McCracken (12:27AM, 9/4/09): Oregon looked like a bunch of retards
Peoria Pliers (12:30AM, 9/4/09): Agreed. Pac-10 blows.

Well, a great gambling mind once told me that "if you're right 53% of the time, that means you're wrong 47% of the time." That about sums up my night with the Boise State-Oregon game. Oregon looked like a bunch of idiots, and was even still in the game, but they refused to make plays when they had the opportunities.

This now allows Boise State to potentially run the table and be the 2009 representative that can say "Why can't we play for a national championship?" And honestly, after watching Utah against Alabama last year, they have a valid point. What would be fun is for Boise to get one of the BCS games and their opponent to be Notre Dame.

No further comments shall be made regarding the 7-3 "defensive struggle" that took place in Raleigh, NC.

THURSDAY THROWDOWN: SEPTEMBER 3, 2009

2009-09-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Scoops McCracken: Throwdown, bitch!
Peoria Pliers: Did you see my picks?
Scoops McCracken: Yes....Oregon's beating Boise tonight....book it.
Peoria Pliers: No dice. There is only one team worth a crap from that conference and it is Boise. Plus the Pac-10 is more overrated than Heidi Montag
Scoops McCracken: This ain't some Arizona State Pac Ten team that Boise's playing....Oregon has revenge on their mind, and they're a freaking Pac Ten contender. Pac Ten rocked everyone's world last year in bowl season...USC will simply reload, and Oregon will be good. I think Cal is overrated as usual.
Peoria Pliers: Oregon lost a TON of guys....admittedly so did Boise, but their QB is a stud, and that means A LOT in the beginning of the year. Plus, the game is in Boise and those people are crazy
Scoops McCracken: Pressure's on Boise.....they're great when the pressure isn't on them, but when they're expected to do something (@ Georgia, opener of season a few years ago, Liberty Bowl '04, last year against TCU), they don't do it.
Peoria Pliers: Lame
Scoops McCracken: Throw a +14 right behind Boise & I'm with you.....expectations do a lot to ya. Watch Ole Miss NOT live up to them this year. As for your other pick of Western Michigan over Michigan, I have no problem with that...I have no opinion on what will happen whatsoever, so I just went with Michigan.
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough. I'd agree about Ole Miss if it weren't for Houston Nutt down there...talk about an axe to grind! If anyone can overcome those expectations in the top-heavy SEC, it is him
Scoops McCracken: You mean the Glen Mason of the SEC? Who couldn't do anything with Darren McFadden & Felix Jones in his backfield? The same guy who wouldn't run behind Shaun Andrews all game against Minnesota in the 2002 Music City Bowl when Minnesota had given up 300+ rushing yards in 4 consecutive games going in to that game? Good coach, but getting through Les Miles & Saban? Child please!
Peoria Pliers: First of all, let's not forget that Ar-Kansas made it to a BCS bowl with Houston Nutt, something that Mason never even got a sniff of. Secondly, LSU is way down this year AND without a proven QB. I'll give you Alabama, but aren’t the Tide's expectations higher than Ole Miss right now anyway?
Scoops McCracken: Which BCS bowl would that be that Houston Nutt made with Arkansas? I think you're thinking of a few SEC championship games which they made in which they got BLASTED by the East champ. As for the Bama/Ole Miss difference, I'd say it's that Saban knows how to deal with expectations, and that rubs off on the program. Ole Miss will be what they are...everyone's flavor of the month, but will get blasted a few times, and probably win the Cotton or Chick-Fil-A Bowl.
Peoria Pliers: I won't argue that they are probably overrated, I'm just saying that I don't think it is going to be a flop of a season for them
Scoops McCracken: A flop would be going 7-5...I think they'll be better than that too. Oklahoma State-Georgia....thoughts?
Peoria Pliers: I have NO idea. OK St is always a disappointment...they are the Clemson of the Big-12, right down to the school colors. Georgia is going to have a down year, but I wouldn't be surprised if they pull it out in OK City. It should be a good game to watch, but I have no read on who is going to win. What did you make of this story: BAMA PLAYER SHOT
Scoops McCracken: That's too bad...when you first hear of a football player getting shot, you immediately think "shouldn't have put yourself in that situation." Sounds like he was just at his place in his parking lot at what wasn't an awful hour. Too bad.
Peoria Pliers: The thing I can't figure out is who is stupid enough to rob a 6'4", 306 pounder in Tuscaloosa? If you see that guy on the street don't you immediately assume he's a monster and avoid him like the plague? Apparently the robbers in Alabama are as dumb as the football players
Scoops McCracken: Perhaps an ex high school player that wasn't able to land a scholarship, so taking it out on others?
Peoria Pliers: Maybe. What the hell is there to do in Tuscaloosa other than study old civil rights films, grow peanuts, and play football?
Scoops McCracken: Dreamland Bar-B-Que is supposed to be a famous restaurant....I also think they have an Olive Garden, which is lovely.
Peoria Pliers: Nice. I love how in Olive Garden commercials that all of the groups are interracial. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into the Edina Olive Garden and found all of the tables filled with multi-racial diners sucking down wilted salad and cheap wine
Scoops McCracken: Hypothetical question: if there was an "alumni" game before the actual game on Monday between Florida State & Miami, which game would garner bigger bragging rights between the two fan bases pending the outcome?
Peoria Pliers: Like All-Time Alumni game a la NCAA Football for Playstation or something?
Scoops McCracken: Or anybody that can currently walk? Involve Michael Irvin, give Testaverde, Kelly, Kosar & Gino Toretta each a quarter.....
Peoria Pliers: But they are playing in real life, with the physical limitations they have right now, as older adults? Not like what they would have been back in 1987
Scoops McCracken: I suppose you could do both. I think a simulation game would garner a lot of fan bragging interest.
Peoria Pliers: Absolutely. Either way I don't think the game makes it into the 3rd quarter since they would be fighting each other with weapons by the end of the first half. I think fans always prefer the old alumni types as bragging rights since it is something that transcends time and people can latch onto their program "greatness" as a full body of work instead of just a year-to-year team
Scoops McCracken: It's too bad the Miami-FSU series has kind of taken a back seat...seeing all the badass speed on the field during the 90s/early 00s was a site to behold
Peoria Pliers: Did you catch the Florida/Florida State game from 1997 on ESPN Classic last night?
Scoops McCracken: I didn't....which one? They played twice during the 96/97 season with Florida blasting FSU in the Sugar Bowl for the title and the 97 game was one in which FSU flat out choked as they may have been better than both Michigan and Nebraska that year
Peoria Pliers: It was the Sugar Bowl game for the title. Seeing Jacquez Green, Thad Busby, Ike Hilliard, Danny Wuerffel and Warrick Dunn absolutely brought a smile to my face. Was Edgar Bennett on that Fla St team as well?
Scoops McCracken: No, Bennett was with the Packers already....but that was classic Wuerffel just tossing the ball around to spots on the field and it was up to green, Reidel Anthony & Ike Hillard to be at the spot.
Peoria Pliers: Reidel Anthony. What a name
Scoops McCracken: Total flameout in the NFL, but was pretty good in college.
Peoria Pliers: Typical of Florida Receivers...errrr...except for Percy Harvin...right?
Scoops McCracken: Remember Yatil Green? He was a Miami WR that was drafted in the 1st round by the Giants in 1997, but he tore his knee and never played a down. Who have been the good ones? Ike Hillard has had a pretty steady career...Darrell Jackson has been ok. Other than that, not too many have panned out.
Peoria Pliers: That name rings a bell, but I don't remember seeing him play. Exactly my point, most of them are busts. Jabar Gaffney? What a stiff.
Scoops McCracken: Travis Taylor! HA! I do think Harvin's different though because he's has a total different level of speed than any of the previous Gator players.
Peoria Pliers: He looks good so far, but I'm not holding my breath, that’s all I'm saying. It is faulty reasoning, however. Just because Kyle Boller was a bust doesn’t mean that Aaron Rogers is going to suck this year, but that was the M.O. for many scouts when Rogers was drafted
Scoops McCracken: Yeah...I agree. I remember that being the case with Marion Barber when he came out and wasn't drafted until the 4th round....guys were saying "he's just another Mason system back like Thomas Hamner, Tellis Redmon, etc., anybody can run for 1,000 yards." Barber was completely different.
Peoria Pliers: And now he has the best nickname in the NFL. Marion the Barbarian. It just doesn't get any better than that.
Scoops McCracken: Who was your biggest "this guy is going to be better than everyone thinks" & "I thought this guy would be better than he was" going into drafts?
Peoria Pliers: For this year? Or all time?
Scoops McCracken: All time.
Peoria Pliers: That’s a really, really good question. Hmmmm. I'd say that my best call was DeAngelo Hall, although he is a dirtbag, but I remember saying to myself that he was a STUD in college. 2nd place goes to E.J. Henderson who I watched for 3 years at Maryland thinking, "This guy gets it, and he is a MONSTER." My biggest whiffs are probably Karlos Dansby, who I thought would rule the NFL for 10 years and turned out to be a total pud, Derrick Johnson (the LB from Texas that still sucks for the Chiefs), and Ryan Leaf. I really thought Ryan Leaf was going to be great. Whoops. How about you?
Scoops McCracken: Honestly, I was saying that teams were going to regret not taking Marion Barber. He was an animal the first time he touched the ball for Minnesota. That Denver took Maurice Clarett over him was a freaking joke. I still remember saying that I would have taken him over Cedric Benson, and Benson went 4th overall that year. So I'll take that as my biggest victory for being "I told everyone." As for guys that failed, I thought Robert Gallery from Iowa was going to be the next Anthony Munoz / Bruce Matthews and be a 15-20 year All-Pro OL. But he got Raidered, so perhaps it wasn't his fault. As for others, since I mostly watch Big Ten, I always thought Ladell Betts would have been a servicable RB in the NFL, but he was on some bad Iowa teams so he never to exposure. He's had a decent career as a Redskin backup. I did think David Terrell was going to be good for the Bears...he fizzled. Same with Charles Rogers. Also thought Detroit got a steal with Chris Claiborne....notice a lot of Lions on the "weren't as good as I thought" list.
Peoria Pliers: Terrell, Rogers, and Claiborne are all great examples; Betts has had a decent career, he's just a half-step too slow to be elite in the NFL, but it's so hard to determine that out of college You are also right on when referring to the teams they play for - I thought Larry Johnson would be good, but not leading the league in rushing. Of course the guy got 40 touches per game, so that is the main reason he has had monster seasons. Maroney will never get that kind of workload (not that he is better than JL...he isn't) but the difference between the two is probably not as huge as people think it is
Scoops McCracken: I think that's true for many; I think Johnson was always much more of a workhorse type of back than Maroney was. Same when it comes to people that always say "Barry Sanders would have done everything that Emmitt Smith did because of Dallas' OL." Emmitt was a workhorse back that was perfect for the Cowboys' style. Enough NFL (although a lot of it is draft related). Preseason pick: National Championship Game?
Peoria Pliers: Anyone picking against Florida is crazy, but that is no fun, so I'll mix it up. USC 24, Va Tech 17. Biggest surprise: Nebraska. Biggest Dissapointment: Utah
Scoops McCracken: Kind of a historical thing that I read: the last two programs that had won the title the year before & were expected to win it again LOST in the title game (Miami '02 & USC '05). I think the winner of the Ohio State-USC game should have a leg up for one of the spots.
Peoria Pliers: Miami should have won that game if it wasn't for the handjobbing of the ref on the pass interference play. I don't see Ohio State being dominant this year, they lost too many key guys
Scoops McCracken: I like winner of the Red River and whether Florida can run the table will be interesting. But OSU could run the Big Ten and USC with Barkley early could be a Buckeye win. Not to take a page from Lou Holtz' "the schedule sets up for Notre Dame" theory, but it could fall in place for Ohio State.
Peoria Pliers: Penn State is a better team than OSU in my opinion. Do those two teams play?
Scoops McCracken: Yes, in Penn State.
Peoria Pliers: I don't see them surviving that, Pryor may be good, but Daryl Clark is better than he is at this point and Happy Valley is a tough place to play when the fanbase is fired up
Scoops McCracken: Both teams have question marks for sure.
Peoria Pliers: How hot is the seat that the Zooker is on right now? Is he even remotely at risk of losing that job?
Scoops McCracken: I don't think so; not nearly the pressure as he had at Florida, and he did have a Rose Bowl (although it was landed upon them). I think he needs a 8-9 win season though to make sure there's no talk next year. Because Juice is a senior, Benn is gone for all intensive purposes...their offense will come down next year for sure.
Peoria Pliers: Agreed. Benn is one of the best players in the big 10, losing him will be a huge loss. Juice needs to figure out how to think before he acts...he is as much of a liability as an asset against good defenses luckily for him, there arent many in the Big 10
Scoops McCracken: I think Illinois' offense is the only explosive one in the conference this year....they'll have a decent year. Is it me, or is the SEC not as good this year? Bama won't be as good, LSU may be a bit better than last year, but they weren't world beaters....we've covered Ole Miss, Georgia is worse, South Carolina does nothing for me, Tennessee is all talk right now minus Eric Berry, Auburn doesn't have an offense, Vandy is Vandy, and Mississippi State replaced one black head coach for another. Florida should absolutely walk the conference and it shouldn't be close.
Peoria Pliers: I agree with you 100%...the recruiting rankings the past few years would indicate that there is a lot of talent in the SEC but so many teams are totally unproven. The Big 12 is probably the best conference right now, and the ACC isn't too far behind the big boys either.
Scoops McCracken: ACC is deep, but no heavy hitters. Big XII is tops this year. Texas & Oklahoma are the cream, Kansas & Oklahoma State will both be good, Nebraska is in the right direction, and Texas Tech & Mizzou, while probably a drop off, will figure things out like they always do.
Peoria Pliers: I might have to disagree with you a little on the ACC. As always, I love Va Tech's chances in the national title scene, North Carolina, Florida State, Georgia Tech, and Wake Forest all have a chance to field BCS-Challenging teams, and NC State and Virgina should be improved, not to mention the annual head-scratcher that BC is. I really like the ACC this year.
Scoops McCracken: VA Tech has a chance for a BCS title, but the rest are playing for nothing more than an Orange Bowl berth against Rutgers or Pitt. UNC, FSU & GT are nothing more than Iowa, Michigan State & Illinois but with better looking co-eds
Peoria Pliers: Time will tell

Pliers' Picks - 2009 Edition - Week 1

2009-09-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

"Guess who's back in the M-F'in house, with a fat pick for your M-F'n mouth?"

Snoop Dogg lyrics from the mid-90's quoted by a white guy from the suburbs. It just doesn't get any better, does it? After spending the last nine months getting over the 2-6 stinkbomb I put up during the last week last year putting my final record at a paltry at 45-55-1, I think I've got a new system. More on that mid-season, if it works. If not, who gives a crap? How much worse an I get than 10 below .500? Besides, now that Ty Willingham is out of the head coaching biz, I oughta make up at least 5 picks from last year. That guy killed me.

Onto the picks.

Western Michigan getting 13.5 at MICHIGAN. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice with an NCAA scandal staring your team in the eye, shame on Rich-Rod. A team that hasn't, umm, let's say "Started Hot" the past few years facing a Western Michigan team that is pretty awful but should be good enough to keep it close. Eff you Rich-Rod. Michigan 28, W. Michigan 24.

USC by 33.5 vs. San Jose St. I bet you are asking yourself when the last time USC was favored by 30 or more points. You guessed it! Last November vs. Notre Dame! Call me crazy, but if they can cover against The Jimmy Clausen Experiment, they sure as hell can cover at home vs. The Condom Wrapper Mascot Memorial Team in San Jose St. I don't care who starts at QB for the Carroll Crew, they roll. Big. Trojans 45, Spartans 10.

WAKE FOREST by 1.5 vs Baylor. Robert Griffin showed flashes last year and all of a sudden everyone is making him out to be the next Charlie Ward. I'm not buying it. Not yet. Not at home against a defense that returns tons of guys at HOME. No dice. Wake 28, Baylor 10.

The OVER at 61 on the NOTRE DAME/Nevada game. This seems like simple math to me.

Pistol Offense returning 8 guys on offense + Jimmy "The Promise" Clausen as an upperclassman with talent around him + two terrible defenses from a year ago BOTH decimated by graduation. This one should be fun to watch. Hopefully they don't show Tom Hammond as often as they do Alex Flanagan. Notre Dame 45, Nevada 30.

Va Tech getting 7 at ALABAMA. Am I the only person that thinks "Roll Tide" sounds like a Proctor and Gamble product for getting armpit stains out of t-shirts? Alabama returns only 4 starters from last year's mediocre offense, and while their defense should be very stout, they have had an entire year to gloat and eat pork rinds down in Tuscaloosa after their impressive showing last year. Maybe I just hate Nick Saban (no, wait, I REALLY do hate Nick Saban), but I think Va Tech is a better team, even without their stud RB. Tyrod Taylor is going to be better off against the Roll-On Tide than the Crimson offense will do against Beamer-Ball. Plus, this game is in Atlanta. No home field SEC ballgame here. Best game of the week by far. Va Tech 20, Roll-On Tide 10.

Minnesota by 6 at SYRACUSE. I'll save the T-Brew fawning for Scoopsie, but let's be honest...Syracuse is going to be TERRIBLE. They were awful last year and they return only 8 starters from last year. Minnesota finally goes back to the running game and they have the guys to do it, so I think they should steamroll the bad teams and get whooped by the good ones. T-Brew Crew 38, Orange Crushed 21.

BOISE ST. by 3 on the blue turf vs Oregon. Spitting in the face of Scoops, this is one of those dangerous WAC teams that knows how to play on the big stage and has a RABID fan base. Plus, I'm still counting on Jared Zabransky's goatee to mean something. Boise 38, Oregon 31.

The OVER at 46 on the Middle Tennessee State/CLEMSON game. Random pick of the week. I love C.J. Spiller, and both teams bring back EVERYONE on offense. Dabo Sweeney should have his squad in better spirits to start the year than last year with Darth Vader at the helm. I don't know if they are going to blow MTSU out, but both teams ought to be able to score, and this a very low O/U. Clemson 35, MTSU 14.

So that is it. As long as I get as lucky with my picks as Marion Barry got with his cellmates, we should all make some money this college football season, right?

SCOOPS' WEEK 1 PICKS: TIME FOR BLAST OFF!

2009-09-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

The engine is idling…the gear is in the trunk of the car…the dog has been fed…and game tickets are in hand. Opening weekend of the 2009 college football season is officially upon us, and unlike the professional participants, the 1st teamers won’t play a quarter, or a couple of series. If there is any doubt about this, tune in on Saturday night to the contest being housed at the Georgia Dome as one team’s national championship hopes will already be dashed around 11:30PM.

Same rules as last year, with the only difference that I’ll actually be making some real wagers along with using “mythical money” when making my picks. I’ll treat they mythical money like Vegas: Bet $11 to win $10. All bets will be $10 unless I state otherwise (there may be a few lead pipe locks). Real wagers will be marked with an official Scoops “double asterisk” prior to the bet. Also, the official online bookie of Scoops McCracken for 2009 is betus.com.

Enough of the B.S…..time to get down to brass tax!

[**] Minnesota (-6) over SYRACUSE: The line has since jumped to -8, but due to Scoops’ due diligence, it was -6.5 two weeks ago, and I bought another half point for $1, giving me a straight $12 to win $10 with the Gophers holding -6. A lot of intriguing items for this game. How does the Doug Marone era begin for the Orange? What are we going to see out of Greg Paulus at QB? How will an outdoor team like Minnesota be able to adapt to playing indoors? Thank you, thank you…..I’ll be here all season, folks.

FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 31, SYRACUSE 16. [$12 straight wager, $10 payoff]

OHIO STATE (-22) over Navy: It’s always fun when the University of the Navy (copyright: Lou Holtz) comes to town to take on a team that actually has national championship hopes, unlike their annual contest with Notre Dame. Nevertheless, Ohio State needs a tune up for when the rockstars known as USC come to town. Pryor will want to impress everybody and show that “he’s all grown up, and won’t be pushed around,” to pharaphrase Teddy KGB. Ohio State roles because they know they need to impress people for votes & BCS status if they want anything come January.

FINAL SCORE: OHIIO STATE 44, NAVY 10

PENN STATE (-28) over Akron: Similar situation for Penn State, only they have to run up things even more because their non-conference schedule is absolutely embarrassing in 2009. One slip up, or even one non-impressive week and Penn State will have no shot at Pasadena. Look for Penn State to try to make a statement along the lines of “see, we won’t miss Derrick Robinson & Deon Butler at all” even though the Zips are hardly the opponent to prove that point.

FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 52, AKRON 13

MICHIGAN (-13) over Western Michigan: Nothing beats a little bit of controversy surrounding a football program, and the latest episode of Michigan players participating in off-season workouts for more than the allotted 20 hours per week is thrown into the bag of tricks. Of course every single Big Ten, SEC, ACC, Big XII, & Pac Ten program does such a thing, but why worry about everyone else when it’s fun to kick a program while they’re down, right? Michigan struggles, but finds a way to cover.

FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 31, WESTERN MICHIGAN 14

Northern Illinois (-16.5) over WISCONSIN: Guys like Larry English are hard to replace & even harder at a MAC school like the one in DeKalb. However, NIU had a first year coach, young receiving corps and a brand new QB last year. They’ll move the ball, and Wisconsin still is Wisconsin with (insert new mediocre QB’s name) running the show. Wisconsin wins, but doesn’t cover.

FINAL SCORE: WISCONSIN 34, NORTHERN ILLINOIS 20

PURDUE (-10.5) over Toledo: Chester Taylor isn’t walking through the doors of the Toledo football complex. They still may have a chance, but I’m going to go with new emotion of Danny Hope and what actually wasn’t that bad of a defense considering where Purdue ended up in the Big Ten standings in 2008

FINAL SCORE: PURDUE 24, TOLEDO 10

ILLINOIS (-7) over Missouri [@ St. Louis]: There is only one offense in the Big Ten in 2009, and they’ll be on display at the Edward Jones Dome on Saturday. No Chase Daniel or Jeremy Maclin to save Mizzou this time around as Illinois explodes & keeps the scoreboard operators busy.

FINAL SCORE: ILLINOIS 48, MISSOURI 37

MICHIGAN STATE, INDIANA, IOWA & NORTHWESTERN all play D-IAA [errr….FCS] schools this weekend.

VIRGINIA TECH (+6.5) over Alabama [@ Atlanta]: Big things expected for VA Tech. If Tyrod Taylor goes off, which I think he will, VA Tech will win. Plus, with no Glen Coffey, Andre Smith & the pumpkin pie hair cutted freak known as John Parker Wilson, I’m going to go with the spread cover.

FINAL SCORE: ALABAMA 31, VIRGINIA TECH 27

OKLAHOMA STATE (-5.5) over Georgia: What a fantastic opening weekend game. The Bulldogs and whoever their new QB is travels to T.Boone Pickins Stadium and gets to deal with an OSU team that’s pretty darn good and would have serious New Year’s Day thoughts if they weren’t in the same conference subdivision as Texas & Oklahoma. Cowboys win & cover.
FINAL SCORE: OKLAHOMA STATE 44, GEORGIA 31

[**] Oregon (+4) over BOISE STATE: If the above two games weren’t an indication why college football is better than the pro game, this one is the final nail in the coffin. What an opening game, and on a Thursday, no less. A team with serious BCS thoughts and dethroning USC thoughts that was one of the better teams in the country at the end of 2008 travels to the BCS spoiler and puts on a show on the blue turf in prime time. I just think Oregon has a feeling that they know what to expect and will be ready for whatever home field advantage Boise is going to reward them with. FINAL SCORE: OREGON 34, BOISE STATE 31 [$5.50 straight wager, $5 payoff]

[**] Ohio State (-16)/Penn State (-22)/Oklahoma (-16) 6 point teaser: You saw my above thoughts regarding Ohio State & Penn State…give them each another -6 and I like that…and Oklahoma hosts BYU and currently is -22. I like Bradford & Oklahoma to make a statement at home, like they so often do in the non-conference season (see Cincinnati, & TCU for examples). Knock that down to -16 on the 3 team tease and I like what I’m doing. [$5 teaser wager, $8 payoff]

A ONE MAN OPERATION

2009-09-02T08:26:00.001-07:00

To quote the diva Celine Dion, Scoops is "All By Myself."

Where is Pliers? Is he participating in an oil drilling protest near Barrow? Is he currently at the residence owned by a 6'2", 240 lb. brunette named Helga? Is he snapping the G-string of a pool side cruise guest named Chase?

I suppose it's not out of the question for me to carry the load for the week leading up to Week 1 of the college football season. However, it's rather difficult to have a Throwdown chat with yourself. Main reason is that I think I'd outsmart myself and throw myself into a box. But I pose the following questions to the readers:
-Why do teams not go for it on 4th down more often?
-Why do teams not go for the 2-point conversion more often?

Scoops's Week 1 picks will be posted later today....until then.....GOOD DAY!

SCOOPS' 2009 BIG TEN FORECAST

2009-08-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

Looking back on my 2008 Big Ten picks, it was the usual way: close on some, way off on others. Seems to sum up my life
.
Biggest Misfires: Iowa & Northwestern-I picked Iowa to go 5-7 and no bowl game. They ended up as arguably the best team in the Big Ten at the end of the season with their defeat of Penn State and their dismantlings of Minnesota and South Carolina in their bowl game. I had Northwestern going 0-8 in the Big Ten. After watching last year, I developed a man-crush on Pat Fitzgerald and won’t doubt his coaching abilities ever again.

Pretty much right on: Minnesota (one game off), Michigan State, & Penn State (one game off, but had them penciled in for the Rose Bowl which they attended)As I look at 2009, the Big Ten overall has 9 good teams, but no elite one.

I think it’s the most wide open the conference has been in quite a while, and it wouldn’t shock me if any of these 9 teams ended up winning it. The problem with the Big Ten right now is the top 3 are WAY below the top 3 of the Big XII or the SEC right now and don’t have any top-1 to compete with USC. So another pair of BCS losses should be expected come January.

T-1) Michigan State (11-1, 7-1; Rose Bowl): Their schedule sets up rather nicely. They don’t see Ohio State and get Penn State & Iowa in East Lansing. They do have road trips to Wisconsin, Illinois & Minnesota, but should have the ability to go 2-1 in that stretch. The tone setter for the season will be the trip to Notre Dame. Plus, Dantonio is showing that he can recruit AND coach, which is a combo that is not totally out there.

Possible Game they may lose but shouldn’t: @ Wisconsin & @ Minnesota. This is where they drop one of their 2 games. I have it being @ Minnesota because the Halloween Night game factor plus the chance that there may be a bit of a chill in the air that may sneak up on Sparty.

T-1) Ohio State (10-2, 7-1: Sugar Bowl): Losing most of the WR crew, Beanie Wells and all 3 starting LB’s would hurt most programs. And it will cost OSU a shot at the title as they’ll drop their big showdown against USC despite the Trojans breaking in a new QB. Still, Pryor will take another step towards being better than Vince Young. I have a feeling that Tressel is going to loosen the leash on Pryor a bit more and games like his performance in the Fiesta Bowl against Texas are going to be the norm. I have them dropping their conference game to Penn State simply because PSU will be jacked for that one. Not everyone wins every game that they should simply because they’re better.

T-3) Iowa (9-3, 5-3, CapitalOne Bowl): I actually like this Iowa team a lot. They return 8 out of 10 in the OL two-deeps, have a solid DB corps, and Stanzi is better than people give him credit for. Problem is their schedule. Their 4 Big Ten road games are @ Penn State, Wisconsin, Michigan State & Ohio State. OUCH! This team may be the best if they played every conference game on a neutral field each week, but with that schedule, I have them coming into 3rd and being one of the teams that actually represents the Big Ten well in their bowl game against their SEC victim.

T-3) Illinois (7-5, 5-3 Outback Bowl): They miss Iowa and Wisconsin, so that helps, and get doormats Purdue & Indiana on the road, which gives them a chip & a chair in home games with Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State & Northwestern. Mizzou is also reloading so the St. Louis opener could go their way as well. I don’t like their defense enough to make a title run, but the offense should be pretty explosive and be the best in the conference.

T-5) Penn State (8-4, 4-4 Champps Bowl): I just think the loss of 3 of their OL is too much to overcome and this is the one team that I think will slip a bit that most people are saying will be thinking conference or national title. The SpreadHD thrived because of a veteran offensive line and Clark & Royster won’t have that luxury this year. Throw in replacing Butler & Williams at receiver and all the DB’s and you have a team that will drop a few more games than it did the previous year. The non-conference schedule is a joke and get 2 of their 3 toughest games at home with the Buckeyes & Hawkeyes coming to Happy Valley. Still think they drop off though.

T-5) Northwestern (8-4, 4-4; Insight Bowl): All hail, Pat Fitzgerald. I don’t trust Kafka at QB since he throws like he plays high school football and their WR’s are all getting replaced, but they usually plug that position in with smart white kids that run good routes and catch the football. They’ll have a tough defense that will keep them in every game plus a joke of a non-conference schedule and you have a good season that will end in Phoenix because of Big Ten bowl rules wanting drunken Badger fans in the Alamodome.

T-5) Wisconsin (8-4, 4-4; Alamo Bowl): Badger fans can thank the schedule as it sets up rather nicely for a .500 season and a sweep of the non-conference schedule. The Badgers still have the same problem at QB as they have the past 2 seasons and that’s that they don’t have a quality one on scholarship. Plus their defense is slow & bad. They should be able to run the ball though with Clay & Brown to keep them off the field. They miss Illinois on the schedule which is good for Wisconsin because their offense is the one that would give Wisconsin nightmares in 2009.

T-5) Minnesota 7-5, 4-4, At-Large Bowl): I think the Gophers are a better team but it won’t show much due to the schedule. The OL should be better, which was the main problem with everything down the stretch last year. Returning a plethora of starters on both sides helps and the depth is better too, allowing for an injury to not derail the season. Biggest prediction: Gophers will go 2-2 during their stretch of death @ Penn State, @ Ohio State, Michigan State & Illinois. Most probable loss of the bunch will be @ Ohio State.

9) Michigan (7-5, 3-5, Motor City Bowl): Talent should be better as will being one more year experienced in RichRod’s system. And the non-conference schedule is a joke minus Notre Dame coming to town. As long as they can keep guys from leaving campus to head elsewhere, they can make it happen. The city of Detroit will be happy to have Michigan at Ford Field for revenue purposes.

10) Purdue (2-10, 1-7, no bowl): Purdue’s defense is a bit underrated and is pretty decent, but their offense will be atrocious. Throw in a non-conference schedule that includes a trip to Oregon and underrated Northern Illinois coming into town and you have a bright spot of winning the Oaken Bucket for Purdue.

11) Indiana (2-10, 0-8): They’re finishing up their stadium renovation, which should help. But their offense is bad, their defense lacks athletes, and they have a coach that’s only there because the previous one died due to cancer. At least they have a quality basketball program…eRRRRRRRRRRR!

SCOOPS & PLIERS: MEDIA DAY 2009

2009-08-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

PLIERS:

Top 5 College Football Bucket List (In order)
1. See the national championship game played at the home stadium of a Big Ten team (as a result of home-field advantage for the higher seed in the PLAYOFF system)
2. Go to Hattiesburg with a copy of “Origin of Speices” without getting stoned by the “Science Department”
3. Roll into the The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" in an RV emblazoned with “NASCAR IS FOR PUSSIES” across the sides and rear of the vehicle.
4. Take an Upper-Decker in Nick Saban’s toilet.
5. See Notre Dame football win more than 4 games in any given season.

Favorite announcer: Keith Jackson. He retired? Really? I hadn’t noticed.
Most hated announcer: Thom Brenneman. Fox has no place in the college football world. Or the news business, for that matter.
Favorite college football media personality: Kirk Herbstriet. His high “Q” rating and overall non-disheveled appearance give him a slight edge over Lou “The Professor” Holtz
Underrated Media Personality: Glen Mason. Horrible coach. Great media guy. Robert Smith gets a close 2nd.
Overrated Media Personality: Mark May. I’m all about putting adding some color to my ESPN Football mornings, but Mark May is the best that ESPN can do? His statements about football are about as cogent and relevant as Jesse Jackson’s comments about ANYTHING.
Favorite Historical Team (other than favorite team): 1983 Penn State. Classic jerseys, the “best man” won (eff you for 1997, Dr. Tom). Yes, Joe Paterno is my all-time favorite Republican.
You’re athletic director, who do you hire: Other than Joe Paterno (for the comedic flair and public outrage that would ensue over hiring an 80-year old man who thinks Twitter is a sex act perpetrated by the evil Al Jolson fan base)? Hmm. I’m not sure, but I bet I could get Ty Willingham to do it for free. It’s a tough economy out there for these cash-strapped Universities. I’d go with Ty. In the real world though? Paul Johnson. Easy.
You’re that coach….which player do you want on your club more than any other: Tony Mandarich. Ohhhh, you mean current players. Adam Weber. I’ve heard that the Gopher staff is “Very Excited” about his leadership abilities, and his Mounds View pedigree can’t be beat.
Best uniforms: Top 3: Penn State, Alabama, Virginia Tech
Worst uniforms: Bottom 3: Hawaii, Florida State, TCU
“Rudy” or “The Program”?: Rudy. The program is HORRIBLE. Just horrible.
Your ideal conference realignment: I can’t answer this question right now since I don’t have six hours to dedicate to the socio-economic implications that this would have on our already fragile economy.
Your playoff solution: 16 team playoff with 10 automatic bids and 6 at large. Done.

SCOOPS:

Top 5 College Football Bucket List (In order):
Since I’ve been to the Rose Bowl & parade, I knocked off #1 off my list, so here’s the remaining:
1. Army-Navy game
2. Red River: Texas & Oklahoma
3. Sugar Bowl with a good matchup
4. SEC Championship with a good matchup (none of this Arkansas B.S.)
5. Ohio State-Michigan

Favorite announcer(s): Musberger with Bob Davie
Most hated announcer(s): Thom Brennaman, Pam Ward
Favorite college football media personality: Stewart Mandel, SI.com
Underrated Media Personality: Jesse Palmer, Pete Fiutak (Collegefootballnews.com)
Overrated Media Personality: Mark May, Dennis Dodd
Favorite Historical Team (other than favorite team): 1996 Florida Gators (due to man crush on Danny Wuerffel)
You’re athletic director, who do you hire: Mark Dantonio or Gary Patterson (Meyer & Richt will leave for NFL someday, Carroll & Mack Brown are getting a bit older)
You’re that coach….which player do you want on your club more than any other: This year, Taylor Mays….for the next few, Terrell Pryor
Best uniforms: Kansas
Worst uniforms: Iowa State
“Rudy” or “The Program”?: Individual parts of The Program are great, but you have to go with Rudy when comparing from top to bottom.
Your ideal conference realignment: Notre Dame to the Big Ten to end the economic battle with the Big Ten & SEC once & for all, then find a way to get Boise into the MWC. I don’t mind the non-BCS teams getting in the title hunt, but get the WAC & Mountain West combined so you only have one of those teams.
Your playoff solution: 10 team playoff (with the same processes as what currently gets used, 1 team guaranteed from each BCS conference, plus the at large clubs & Notre Dame, no more than 2 per conference in the dance. However, at larges aren’t selected in terms of attendance as much anymore (Ohio State & Notre Dame don’t make it just because they bring more fans). Strict ranking system for the at larges). First two rounds are played at the higher seed home with 15,000 tickets guaranteed to the visiting team, semis & final rotate between the 4 major bowl games. This allows for a champion to be determined, yet doesn’t diminish the regular season any because 2 losses will most likely knock you out.

SCOOPS & PLIERS ARE BACK

2009-08-12T07:00:00.001-07:00

Fear not, loyal readers......SCOOPS & PLIERS ARE BACK!

Lots has happened since the end of last football season causing for the lack of posts, most notably, the addition of the newest member to Scoops' family, Peanut. Little Peanut will even offer some prognostication throughout the season, but for now, he has to pay his dues and sit in the back of bus, Rosa Parks style, while Scoops & Pliers drive.

Upcoming Events:
-Thursday, 08/13/09: SCOOPS & PLIERS MEDIA DAY
-Thursday, 08/20/09: ACC, BIG EAST & BIG TEN CONFERENCE FOCUS
-Thursday, 08/27/09: BIG XII, PAC TEN & SEC FOCUS
-Thursday, 09/03/09: NON-BCS CONFERENCE FOCUS + KICKOFF THURSDAY THROWDOWN

There will be others mixed in, including Scoops' hard hitting Big Ten preview PLUS others to get everyone in the '09 mood.

Also being introduced in 2009 will be Thursday night, Friday night, & Saturday TWITTER updates from the scene of the crimes, which will usually be in front of a 42" screen, the RV Victory Tailgate Lot, & TCF Bank Stadium Section 117.

"The time is now, the place is here, and the whole wide world is filled with cheer!" -RUN DMC

THURSDAY THROWDOWN 11/20/08: RIVALRY EDITION

2008-11-20T14:32:00.000-08:00

Scoops McCracken: High School question here to start things off: How is it that Cretin, with their endless supply of talent, has only won 1 state football title?
Peoria Pliers: I don't know, but my guess is that their endless supply is relatively limited to very top end talent...I think depth is probably an issue for them since they have to recruit kids and they don’t have 3000 kids to choose from.
Scoops McCracken: I think it has to do with the fact that when they actually get in a tough situation, they buckle like a belt. I think toughness has more to do with it than depth.
Peoria Pliers: That and the fact that Joe Mauer hucked a ball across his body 30 yards into the secondary in 2000 to seal the deal. That cost them.
Scoops McCracken: Well, at least it was the last bad throw he's made at the Metrodome since.
Peoria Pliers: That is true. So what’s the story with Rivalry week this year? No Iron Bowl? No Cal/USC? What gives?
Scoops McCracken: Iron Bowl is next weekend....and I'm pretty sure Cal & USC already played, didn't they? I think the USC/UCLA game is now usually the same day as the SEC title game. Probably smart since the Big Ten shuts everything down by Thanksgiving and it shows come bowl time. Question for you. You attend an Ivy League game or two.....does Harvard & Yale & the ivies play in the 1-AA tournament or not?
Peoria Pliers: No they do not, they disqualify themselves for some reason
Scoops McCracken: I guess I'm just trying to prepare for the cluster-F that's about to occur should Texas Tech lose either this weekend or against Mizzou and Alabama loses to Florida. And was wondering why the academic card isn't played in terms of the 1-AA tourney.
Peoria Pliers: Well Alabama WILL lose to Florida, which is certain if you ask me. It would be nice to see a bunch of cluster-F to push the pro-playoff agenda on Obama. I'm not sure that is why they don't participate, but it certainly takes the wind out of that argument
Scoops McCracken: Last week, we had some differences (I think you had all of them right, by the way). This week, we had some similar picks.
Peoria Pliers: This week seems like an easier week of picks...which usually means I'm about to go 0-8, but I do like where we agree. Northwestern is going to beat Illinois since they are, along with Tennessee, in full Tail Spin mode
Scoops McCracken: Tennessee lost to freaking Wyoming. That was as bad as it gets. And the funny thing is: who would want that job? The recruiting base sucks; you're competing against Richt & Meyer every single year, not to mention Saban & Miles in the other division. And they expect you to be in the national title hunt with those others their lurking. I'd much rather take the Clemson job.....they'll pay what an SEC school pays, and it will be easier to beat a bunch of basketball schools.
Peoria Pliers: You must have read the Mandel Mailbag too. Tennessee’s program is in deep trouble. That stadium is going to look really funny with 50,000 fans in it instead of 117,000. Not much pressure at Clemson
Scoops McCracken: Some pressure, but definitely not as much as Tennessee, and it will be easier to succeed. So what was your favorite Metrodome memory?
Peoria Pliers: Well, let me count them...
5. Getting run over by Mike Lehan during the old Classic Lake Dome game
4. Gene Larkin stepping on home plate
3. Watching the Vikes beat New Orleans 43-3 when I was like 7 years old
2. Rhys Lloyd sprinting to the BADger bench to take the Axe back
1. The Call by Jack Buck when Kirby hit the walk-off, "...And we'll see you tomorrow night!"
Maybe I was just supposed to name Gopher moments....but I only have the one. Sorry. So is Texas Tech/Oklahoma going to be the game of the year, or did we already see it with the Texas/Texas Tech game?
Scoops McCracken: It's asking an awful lot for the Texas Tech/Oklahoma game to top the TT/UT game. My guess is it won't be just because rarely do big games live up to the expectations. Off hand, what games have? 2006 Rose Bowl with Texas & USC. 2003 Fiesta Bowl: Ohio State & Miami. 1988 Notre Dame & Miami. 1991 & 1992 Miami & Florida State. What game was better? 2007 Fiesta Bowl between Boise State & Oklahoma or 2006 Rose Bowl?
Peoria Pliers: 2006 Rose Bowl if you ask me. Just as much drama, no upset value, but SO MUCH on the line
Scoops McCracken: That had more on the line, but the Fiesta Bowl was a chalkboard come to life. The Oklahoma comeback to tie it, the INT for a pick 6, hook & latter, AP's final college carry being a filthy powerful 25 yard TD run, plus the HB pass & draw. Probably the most exciting 15-20 minutes in sports history minus the last 15 minutes of 1980 USA-CCCP
Peoria Pliers: That might be correct...I'd agree that the last ten minutes were amazingly exciting...but watching Vince Young literally carry his entire team down the field against one of the greatest college football defenses of all time and top it off with a winning score for the Nat'l Championship tops the list for me. Of course if Beano Cook were here, he'd tell you all about the 1949 Notre Dame squad and how great it was. Or the epic 1946 game versus Army...Zero to Zero.
Scoops McCracken: I always love that stuff.....Army in 1940 was the greatest team of all time. I know you have to be relative to the time period, but 1940 would have lost to the 2005 Music City Bowl runner-up Golden Gophers by 20+ points. Ole Beano.......what a classic.
Peoria Pliers: My unofficial count puts FIFTEEN players on the 2005 USC team in the NFL right now. And that does NOT count shoe-ins like Rey Maualuga and Mark Sanchez
Scoops McCracken: You want to see talent on a field....watch early 90s & early 00s Miami & Florida State. I think it was an upset that Nebraska was within 50 points of Miami in the 2002 Rose Bowl
Peoria Pliers: Yeah those are great ESPN classic moments. I caught the Miami team with Warren Sapp AND Ray Lewis on it...and Lewis had that bad-ass jersey on with his stomach showing...that usually looks REALLY gay. But when Ray Lewis does it, you get a little scared for your personal safety
Scoops McCracken: That was my favorite part about mid 80s to early 90s college football......the short jersey with the bare stomach showing.
Peoria Pliers: Wow, I just pulled up the 2002 hurricane roster...that is scary. Very, very scary. Dorsey, Davenport, Portis, Shockey, Johnson, McKinney, Joaquin Gonzalez, McDougle, William Joseph, DJ Williams, Jonathan Vilma, Mike Rumph, Ed Reed, Phillip Buchanon....wow.. My head is spinning. They also had Frank Friggen Gore! And Willis McGahee, if I'm not mistaken? I want to say that there are like five Pro-Bowlers in that mix
Scoops McCracken: Don't forget the late Sean Taylor as all, who was probably the biggest badass of them all.
Peoria Pliers: My God. That is so scary. I remember when Reed left, everyone talked about how it might be an upgrade...I thought they were crazy...but they were right. Taylor was a TERROR in college
Scoops McCracken: If you want good stuff, check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9od2uODVeoU&feature=related CBS Intro, Clemson vs. Florida State, 1988.
Peoria Pliers: it's amazing that the song hasn’t changed in 20 years
Scoops McCracken: It was cool then and it's still cool even now. You don't try to chizzle for a diamond when you have a huge golden nugget right in front of you.
Peoria Pliers: You sound like a post game Bobby Bowden press conference. "Our team looks like a coon-hound with peanut butter on it's nose and a couple'a ice skates on its feet...lord knows we cant find where we want to go, but even if we did, we would slip and fall anyway"
Scoops McCracken: Speaking of Bobby Bowden, not as good, but the NBC Intro to the Notre Dame-Florida State 1993 game: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cipJq3ZhuuQ And the best of them all: 1986 Miami vs. Oklahoma: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUakS5BG2M&feature=related
Peoria Pliers: Brent Musberger is my idol. And nothing says Bad Ass Miami/Oklahoma football quite like Phil Collins...
Scoops McCracken: He has kept it in 5th gear for over 20 years for sure.
Peoria Pliers: What did he do to get fired from CBS anyway? As we both scramble to Wikipedia to figure it out...good news...He did get into a fistfight with Jimmy the Greek! Now he really is my idol!
Scoops McCracken: I thought it was for pissing in public at first. Funny, Greek failed to mention that to me during his interview.
Peoria Pliers: He was probably too embarrassed
Scoops McCracken: Since we're on a youtube kick, here's a great Musburger one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Pj2zV5FdYU
Peoria Pliers: That one is classic...that girl ended up in Playboy a while back. She had the goods, I'll give her that
Scoops McCracken: I want him to do play-by-play at my funeral. Think of the into before the casket is brought down the aisle........
Peoria Pliers: Well the intro HAS to be done by Ron Franklin. Musburger can do the Eulogy
Scoops McCracken: Depends if music is involved or not......Franklin can set the stage great when it's just him waxing nostalgic with the history angle, but Musburger is throwing 99mph fastballs for 8 innings in those CBS 80s intros.
Peoria Pliers: So what song would be your funeral background intro for Musburger?
Scoops McCracken: I think a CBS college football theme with pictures of past Scoops as a youngster with Musburger doing his thing: "In 1978, Scoops McCracken started his hard hitting, no non-sense style that showed no signs of slowing down" Back to football: Pliers' BCS crystal ball says what?
Peoria Pliers: Hmmmmmmmmmm....I see....I see.....Florida and.....hhmmmmmm....Texas Tech! I have no idea. Who you got?
Scoops McCracken: Florida & Oklahoma in the title game. Penn State & USC in the Rose. Georgia Tech & Utah in the Orange. Alabama & Texas in the Sugar. Cincinnati & Ohio State in the Fiesta
Peoria Pliers: I would love to see a Ga Tech/Utah game. Alabama getting pounded by Texas in New Orleans would be awesome. That is a dream BCS outcome, really....what happens to Texas Tech? You sayin' they get left out in the cold? They're the odd man out....if Oklahoma wins this weekend, they probably move up to the title game.....and I'm guessing they'll take Texas because of who they are.
Scoops McCracken: Texas Tech then either wins by 100 points in the Holiday Bowl or loses because they don't care about being there.
Peoria Pliers: That makes this weekend even more important for Tech...I like 'em to win
Scoops McCracken: Bob Stoops' home record is 59-2!
Peoria Pliers: About to be 59-3. The Mad Bomber is in town. Plus, doesn’t Jesus love an underdog?
Scoops McCracken: Jesus was the original underdog. And Jesus vs. Satan was the original rivalry with a trophy. Only fitting that He be fired up for Rivalry weekend!

Pliers' Picks - 11/20/08 - Week 13

2008-11-20T10:26:00.000-08:00

Well Huzzah Huzzah! I actually made some decent picks last week, so I'm hoping to ride that momentum like street luge competitor in San Francisco. This week is a big Rivalry Week, so I'll keep my editorializing to a minimum since we should have a spirited Throwdown today. My picks follow.

Last Week - 7-1
YTD - 43-47-1

VANDY by 3 vs. Tenneseee. Balloo is outski, and Vandy is fighting for better bowl position. Who would have thunk that these two programs would be moving in such different directions? In your face, Knoxville. Vandy 31, Vols 17.

Washington by 7 at WASHINGTON ST. This game should be called the Applesauce Cup, considering how ground up these two rosters are. Stat of the week - Wazzu's top QB so far this year: Lopina, Kevin. 118 Att, 68 Comp, 57% Comp, 11 INT, ZERO TD. Wow. I am betting that Ty gets his final win as a Husky AND covers the spread, just to stick it to the clowns in Pullman. Huskies 31, Wazzou 10.

LSU by 3 vs. Mississippi. Am I reading this right? Sure, Mississippi did knock off the Gators a few months ago, but LSU is a top 15 team. They win big. Clearly. Tigers 35, Rebels 14.

Michigan State getting 14.5 at PENN STATE. Everyone knows I love Joe Pa, their offense, and their attitude. But Javon Ringer is awesome, and Penn State lost a LOT of swagger against Iowa. Michigan State is an insidiously good team, and they oughta keep this one real close. No upset special since the game is in Happy Valley though. Spartans 24, Nittany Lions 31.

MINNESOTA getting 6 vs. Iowa. Total gomer pick here, and to be honest, I can't really lose. I like Ferentz and I want to see Shonn Green get more Heisman pub, and if they win this game that can't hurt his chances. However, it would be nice to have ONE of the trophies here in Minneapolis over the winter, and I really feel like Floyd could use a more cosmopolitan abode instead of the sty he is forced to deal with in Iowa City. Either way, the reality is that neither of these two teams are terribly good...Iowa won't blow anyone away, and Minnesota's offense has been stuck in neutral. This should be a PICKEM choice if you ask me, so I'm taking the points. Minnesota 24, Iowa 23.

NORTHWESTERN getting 3 vs Illinois. The Zooker still couldn't coach his way out of a paper bag, and P-Fitz has his guys clicking again after a big win against Mighty Mighty Michigan. I really think Northwestern is a good, disciplined team...and considering Juice was benched last week for a while, I like NU in this game, especially at home. Wildcats 34, Juicers 24.

The OVER at 63 on the Boise St./NEVADA game. Boise has been running over people like a dump truck driven by Earl Campbell lately, and Nevada can score at will. The final score of this game last year? 67-69. Yeah. I love the OVER.

Texas Tech getting 7 at OKLAHOMA. I hate this pick, but I have to take a stand here since I refuse to pick OSU/Michigan. This might be the most fun game to watch in recent history...I can't wait. Now I just have to hope that Crabtree and Co. can pull one out in Norman. COME ON BISCUITS...err...RED RAIDERS! Tech 49, Sooners 38.

SCOOPS' PICKS: TRINKET GAME TROPHIES NOT INCLUDED!

2008-11-19T15:16:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 3-5
Season: 59-55
Net Gain/Loss: + $133.50

“We let ‘em off the hook!”

Was that Denny Green or Tim Brewster at the press conference microphone? Anyway, a just below .500 weekend lost me some money, but didn’t kill me, so it looks like even a 0-fer weekend will put me the plus money category until bowl season (closed circuit to all readers: Scoops will be absent from his picks during Thanksgiving Weekend & conference championship weekend and will not be back until bowl season).

It’s rivalry weekend! I love rivalry weekend. It makes a game between Washington & Washington State seem like they’re playing for something other than each team’s quest for it’s 1st win over a Division I opponent in 2008. It allows for Vanderbilt to show their intelligence over rival Tennessee. It allows for Cal & Stanford to wax intellectually over if it’s really more difficult to get into Stanford but it takes more work & effort to receive a degree from Cal due to all professors handing out A’s at Palo Alto like they were hooker ad cards on Las Vegas Blvd.

MINNESOTA (+6) over Iowa: The pig…..the pig…..the pig, the pig, the pig. Mostly, it’s the last college football game at the Metrodome unless General Mills or Target start up the Mall of America Bowl before the Vikings build a new retractable stadium or they blow up the dome. Minnesota had a bit better OL protection last week in Madison, which allowed the offense to move the ball a bit. Iowa is similar to Wisconsin in that they don’t blitz a whole lot, so Minnesota should be able to move the ball a little. Iowa’s 23 year old RB should keep his streak of 100 yard games because they’ll feed him & feed him and nobody’s stopped him yet. Here’s not only what to expect, but what you can count on. A last Metrodome loss by the Gophers that defies all logic and reason. I’m thinking an Overtime game in which Iowa misses a FG or has a turnover with the first possession in OT and Minnesota, only needing a point of any kind, has a handoff go off somebody’s helmet right into the hands of a streaking CB for Iowa to win on a defensive TD in OT? Or a fair catch punt on the last play of regulation allowing for a free kick? Or a game winning drop kick by Nile Kinnick? The possibilities are all there. Either way, it will be a gut wrenching Gopher loss by 3 points that makes all Gopher fans want to set torch to the dome immediately as soon as the game ends. I will be the one with the pitchfork and gas can helping accelerate the blaze.
SCOOPS’ PICK: IOWA 30, MINNESOTA 27

OVER (+/- 41.5) IOWA @ MINNESOTA: The OL seems to have figured a few things out for Minnesota, which should allow them to get into the 20s. And Iowa’s been in the 20s for many weeks now.

NORTHWESTERN (+130) over Illinois: Bowl position is at stake here: Illinois just wanting to become bowl eligible & Northwestern wanting to gain a better bowl position even though they’ll probably get passed over due to their small little elite alumni “rah” section. Juice Williams is not playing so hot right now, and Northwestern should be a bit crisper on offense than they were in the snow/rain in Ann Arbor. But Zook’s got a top-10 recruiting class coming in, so it’s all good for Illinois, right?
SCOOPS’ PICK: NORTHWESTERN 27, ILLINOIS 24

OHIO STATE (-20.5) over Michigan: Does Michigan’s defense have the heart to make one final emotional game? Perhaps. But Michigan’s offense, on the other hand, will have a big batch of turnovers making it easier for Ohio State to score.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 37, MICHIGAN 13

Michigan State (+14.5) over PENN STATE: Penn State started out a bit flat last week, probably to the emotional let down of the Iowa loss. Michigan State is on a mission to show that the pasting they took from Ohio State was a fluke. Ringer & the Spartans make it interesting, cover the spread, but PSU locks up their Rose Bowl bid with the win.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 34, MICHIGAN STATE 24

PURDUE (-12) over Indiana: Swan song for Joe Tiller. I thank you for getting to watch Billy Dicken, Drew Brees, Brandon Vance, Kyle Orton, Brandon Kirsch and Curtis Painter shred the Gopher defense over the past 11 seasons. I thank Indiana for nothing other than the fact that I get to laugh at their basketball band for wearing vests & bow ties during all games.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PURDUE 38, INDIANA 20

ARIZONA (-2.5) over Oregon State: Two games away from a disgusting re-match between Oregon State and Penn State. My theory here is that God is a football fan. He enjoys a warm grill, a few burgers & other fine animals on his plate, a frosty root beer, and a game on the best HD imaginable. And he usually allows games to take their course, allowing the fine student-athletes decide the outcomes on the field. But he’s stepping in here knowing that this is probably the best shot for a Beaver trip up. God wants a USC-Penn State game in the greatest football setting He created. God’s stepping in on this one, for all of mankind.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ARIZONA 27, OREGON STATE 24

Clemson (-2.5) over VIRGINIA: Quietly amongst the coaching change, Clemson has started putting up points. Of course, when the BCS bowl expectations have fallen by the wayside and there’s no pressure.
SCOOPS’ PICK: CLEMSON 41, VIRGINIA 30

Texas Tech (+7) over OKLAHOMA: The big one that will decide how a lot of the puzzle pieces fall into place. Offense should be the name of the game. It what should be a classic due to the fact that you have two outstanding QB’s playing, I shall be DVRing this one while I’ll be setting torch to the dome.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OKLAHOMA 45, TEXAS TECH 42

Thursday Throwown...posted on Friday...but still... 11/13/08

2008-11-14T07:39:00.000-08:00

Scoops McCracken: Throwdown, Bitch!

Peoria Pliers: So I have to hear your opinion on the murder of the LSU or Alabama fan...what's Scoops' take? Does that type of stuff fly in your world? Just "boys being boys" or what?

Scoops McCracken: I saw that. Honestly, as much as I love college football, they take it to a new level down there and WAY to f-ing seriously. My brother was in town last weekend from Birmingham and all he could do was keep himself glued to Verne Lundquist calling the game.I see the guy twice a year, and he didn't say a word only wanting to watch Bama & LSU. And those are two of the "special" fan bases, if you get what I'm saying. I'd have to go to wikipedia to see if either university has produced anything of substance other than a defensive back, linebacker or defensive lineman.

Peoria Pliers: I think there are more than a few decorated members of the Klan from Alabama, so that's something

Scoops McCracken: But at least I know that I need to pack a glock if I go to a bowl game involving an SEC team in the near future.

Peoria Pliers: No, I think you would be fine. You still have all your teeth...that's how they know you are a Yankee and a non-entity to them.

Scoops McCracken: What I was surprised at was: didn't it start with a phone call and giving shit to each other? I'm surprised they had phone lines that worked. I figured the pony express would have had to relay messages back & forth.

Peoria Pliers: Well I hear that the Pony Express is having trouble, and with the increased costs of Aluminum these days, they couldn't afford to string two cans together. The phone was a logical choice, but I believe one of them was quoted as saying that they were afraid of the "Devil's Scream" when it rang. If I was the judge, I'd make the accused have to get season tickets to a MAC school and attend every game for 20 years so they then understand that it's just a game. And they have to show up for all games, including the Wednesday night game on the deuce.

Peoria Pliers: So here is the new slogan: SEC Football. When you got nothin' else to live for.
Scoops McCracken: It does make me hate the school more and appreciate schools like Texas & USC. I'm not naive; I know that half of their players get special treatment and aren't the normal student-athletes, but at least the institution actually enrolls other students who's only goal isn't just to come back 7 or 8 times in the fall and be an idiot. And the question is: these people probably have no relation to the university. They probably went to Beaver Creek Community College. They're very similar to Vikings fans. Hate life 6 days of the week and only live for home games so they can become an idiot and release themselves from their awful, awful lives. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Peoria Pliers: Good stuff, Forrest Gump.

Scoops McCracken: Question: Could you & I step in on the Gophers OL and not do any worse than some of the guys right now?

Peoria Pliers: Well I'm convinced that I could step in for Ryan Cook and do as good of a job as he is doing, so sure, I think that we would be commensurately bad as Gopher O-Lineman. So what's the problem with their line? Youth?

Scoops McCracken: Mostly youth. And still philosophy. None of the OL is a Brewster recruit, so they're still in the Mason/Gordy Shaw mold of being undersized. They'll get pushed back and will struggle with pass blocking. Plus, I don't know if they're that talented in the first place. There's three OL coming in next year that are 3* and they have a good shot at a stud from Phoenix area named Taylor Lewan.

Peoria Pliers: They signed some good kids this week...it doesnt look like they are going to have as star-studded a class this year as they did last year, but they look real solid

Scoops McCracken: None of their recruits last year were OL. They should be getting Rozelle Gayden, who was a greyshirt this year, from JUCO. And they add Carufel, the transfer from Notre Dame next year, who by all accounts, would be playing every single snap if he was allowed to. They have a very solid list thus far. Mason's classes were mostly 2 & some 3 stars....Brewster's is mostly 3 and some 4's.

Peoria Pliers: Out of respect for our readers, who couldn't give two shakes of a lamb's wang about the Gophers, I'll make this the last question about them...what do you think the odds are of T-Brew landing the house OL from Cretin next year?

Scoops McCracken: About 35-40%.....if USC comes calling, it will be hard for Brewster to get him. But Vince Young was a LSU & FSU lean until Mack Brown & Brewster closed on him, so you never know. But I'd put it at less than 50%. Kind of a slow week of games this week.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah, not too many exciting games...Arizona/Oregon might be a decent watch. You know who we haven't talked about much lately that deserves some pub? Dave Wannstedt

Scoops McCracken: He has turned it around. Are they in the drivers seat for the BCS berth or is it someone else. I must admit I don't follow the Big East.

Peoria Pliers: I believe they are, they are on something like an 8 game winning streak, thanks in most part to their stud RB

Scoops McCracken: They lost to Rutgers a few weeks ago, so I don't know if it's 8 games, but they did beat Iowa, which is looking better & better each week.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah it looks like they are fighting with Cincy for the top spot. What happened to South Florida this year? They were supposed to be all-world?

Scoops McCracken: Their QB has a chubby face....just like Georgia's.....no team can be all-world with a chubby faced QB.

Peoria Pliers: Ouch. Too bad for Grothe. I mean he does have a mohawk..doesn't that offset the chubby face?

Scoops McCracken: I'm more of a flat top fan than a mohawk. That way, teams can have a guy nicknamed "Flat Top" like in Necessary Roughness.

Peoria Pliers: I think that there should be some sort of nickname committee on every college football team comprised of one guy from each class, the special teams coach, and perhaps one of the stadium announcers. Kind of like Delta house

Scoops McCracken: I was reading on NFL Draft Countdown and they had Graham Harrell not as high. Call me crazy, but the NFL is so defunct of accurate QB's.....wouldn't he make a lot of sense for a team? I hearken back to Drew Brees. "Ah....he's a system QB. And he's not super tall." Yeah, but he can throw the ball where he wants to. At what point are some of the NFL personnel guys going to realize somethings.

Peoria Pliers: It's funny you say that...Zubar and I were talking about how important accuracy is in the NFL these days, as long as you don’t have a "puss arm"
Scoops McCracken: I totally am on the Graham Harrell bandwagon, just like Chase Daniel. These guys are going to go way too late and they'll have nice long careers.

Peoria Pliers: By the way, I think Jaworski is on the accuracy bandwagon as well. How tall is Harrell?

Scoops McCracken: I just pulled his recruiting class info.....he was a 4*, 6'2", 183 (obviously his high school size)

Scoops McCracken: I'm guessing his height hasn't changed too much since.

Peoria Pliers: 6'2" is plenty tall for the NFL if you ask me. It's tough to blame the NFL guys for being weary considering the irrelevancy of Kingsbury et. al.

Scoops McCracken: According to Wikipedia, he's 6'3" & 205 now. No, I get that...guys like Kingsbury & Sonnie Cumbie & B.J. Symons were system guys. But Harrell is different. He's been running this show for 3 years now. He wasn't just plugged in as the 1 year system runner. And the bottom line is that there are not that many typical NFL prototype QB's anymore in college. I think the system QB's will have to get a longer look now.

Peoria Pliers: Jaworski claimed that the Arena and Canadian leagues were going to be more important in the upbringing of QBs to the NFL since the spread has...well...spread. Your thoughts? It did work for Kurt Warner.

Scoops McCracken: I think the Arena league will because of the tightness....don't know as much regarding the CFL. The field is so damn big; lots of guys can succeed there. Ricky Foggie was a super-duper star in the CFL. But I can see the arena league being good, considering the timing that has to occur. What do you think?

Peoria Pliers: I'm not so sold on that since you can succeed in the arena with the aforementioned "puss arm"

Scoops McCracken: It obviously doesn't hold true for everyone. You still have to have the cannon that can throw the ball vertically and the ball to the sidelines in the NFL. But I'm a Harrell guy. Next week will be a good one with Tech & Oklahoma.

Peoria Pliers: with a few notable exceptions, of course (Phillip Rivers). I do think that arm strength is a bit overrated though. That is going to be a GREAT game, it's the #1 reason that I'm NOT going to the Gopher/Iowa game

Scoops McCracken: Did you read Mandel's mailbag this week? He was saying how it's going to be very difficult for Texas to get to the Big XII title game because Tech controls its destiny, and if Oklahoma wins, they'll probably win the tie-breaker with a higher BCS ranking. And if Oklahoma State beats Oklahoma after Tech loses to Oklahoma, Tech would still win the tie-breaker over Texas. All because of a backdoor fade with 1 second left! I love college football and how 1 play can change everything for lots of teams.

Peoria Pliers: Wow, what a kick in the nuts. Think of how great this would be...if we had a very simple 8-team playoff here are the teams involved: Alabama, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Florida, Texas, USC, and either Penn State, Utah, Georgia, or Boise St. Tell me that wouldn’t be friggen awesome.

Scoops McCracken: 8 team, each with a conference representative and two at larges with preference given to Notre Dame or one of the non-BCS teams if their ranking is over a specific #.

Peoria Pliers: I was basing my list off of the BCS standings

Scoops McCracken: They say to have those all be bowl games, but my idea would be the first round is at the higher seeded team with at least 10,000 tickets automatically given to the visitor. Seeing USC travel to the Swamp? Oh my Lord!

Peoria Pliers: That would be sweet, although travel arragements on a week's notice would be very difficult for 10,000 people

Scoops McCracken: Somehow, NCAA basketball fans find a way to do it.

Peoria Pliers: That is a dream scenario. I wouldn't even mind if it were neutral sites, but at this poit ANYTHING is better than what we have

Scoops McCracken: I want to see an SEC team travel to the Horseshoe when Ohio State is a top 2 team!

Peoria Pliers: That is true, although for the most part, teams are seeded in regional areas that are typically close. That would be great to see. Or to see Penn State march into Alabama with their all-white uniforms. Awesome

Scoops McCracken: I think people would find a way. And what tickets aren't sold go back to the the host. That would create some incentive for the visiting fans.
Peoria Pliers: Good point. We really need to get the ball moving on this ASAP. You talk to your contacts in the NCAA, I'll talk to Barack, and we should be able to hammer this out by the end of the week.

Scoops McCracken: It's all about convincing the bow ties my good man!

Peoria Pliers: So the last NASCAR race of the season is this weekend. Who ya got?

Scoops McCracken: Uh....who are those two guys that pretty much get into a fight every race?

Peoria Pliers: Richard Petty and Cale Yarbrough? Or is it Cole Trickle and Rowdy Burns?

Scoops McCracken: I remember when Cale Yarbrough got caught in Rosco P. Coltrane's speed trap when passing through Hazzard County.

Peoria Pliers: So if you had to sit and watch three hours of continuous programming, which would you choose? 1. Dancing with the Stars 2. A NASCAR race 3. Campbell Soup Presents Passion On Ice With Scott Hamilton and Oksana Baiul 4. The 700 Club

Scoops McCracken: Well, the NASCAR race would probably be in HD, so I'd take that....then the figure skating (I actually don't mind figure skating), then 700 club and then dancing with the stars.

Scoops McCracken: Rank these 80s sitcoms in order of favorite to least: Facts of Life, Head of the Class, Growing Pains, Who's the Boss?, Family Ties

Peoria Pliers: Wait a minute...let's back up here. You'd take 3 hours of an aging, nonsensical Pat Robertson pontificating on the state of Israel instead of the pseudo-porn that is Dancing With The Stars? REALLY?

Scoops McCracken: For sure....it would be like re-living my college days of listening to mall preachers at the U.

Peoria Pliers: Wow. I'm amazed. Even I click Dancing With The Stars on when I see it on the guide just to get a peek at the dancers in their skimpy outfits. Good stuff. Frankly, I didn't watch four of those shows when I was a kid...just a little before my time. I always hated Kirk Cameron, so Growing Pains was out, Who's the Boss was over my head since I was a little tyke (but I always like Alyssa Milano), Head of the Class was just plain terrible, and Facts of Life was before my time. I did enjoy a little Family Ties every now and again. I've got a buddy who is going to end up looking JUST LIKE Michael Gross did in Family Ties someday. It's really something for him to look forward to. I'll say this about Fact of Life, though...great theme song. Who's the Boss is a close second for theme songs. Do you remember the show about the girl whose father was an alien and she could stop time at any moment? What was that show?

Scoops McCracken: Were you a 90210 guy at all?

Peoria Pliers: Never. Nor Melrose Place.

Scoops McCracken: One of the things you'd never guess: in college...me & Grant Harlan were hardcore 90210 guys....we used to watch old episodes on tape. I'm sure he was baked when he did it, but whatever.

Scoops McCracken: I was never a Melrose Place guy though.

Peoria Pliers: You and the Sports Guy...big 90210 fans. Very strange.

Scoops McCracken: Loved it. And love the new 90210 too. But I'm a different cat.

Peoria Pliers: Yes. Yes you are.

Scoops McCracken: Shows how much we can talk college football when there's awful games on this upcoming weekend.

Peoria Pliers: Yep, it's just a horrible slate of games. Just horrible. Maybe I'll read a book on Saturday.

Scoops McCracken: But then you never know....wasn't a huge slate of games last weekend either and Iowa came out & beat Penn State. Could it be a Sly Croom day over Bama? Florida getting knocked off by Spurrier? You never know.

Peoria Pliers: I sure would like to see the crowd reaction if Spurrier beats Florida in the Swamp. That would make my weekend. Big Brock Lesnar fights on Saturday against Old Man Randy Cotoure...who ya got, Scoops? I think you have to get a Bert Sugar Fedora on your head before you answer.

Scoops McCracken: I'm not a UFC guy, but hasn't the knock on Lesnar been he doesn't know how to fight UFC style yet? If he's figured it out, I find it hard to find a human being being able to defeat him in hand to hand combat. Perhaps one of the guys on Mortal Combat or Tekken.
Peoria Pliers: That would be a dream matchup...Liu Kang or Sub-Zero vs. Brock Lesnar fighting in the Octagon. Lesnar would have to come out dressed as Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies though.

Scoops McCracken: I tihnk I've asked this question before: Would it be better to be an SCSU fan (moderate success in WCHA, but nothing great) or a UMD fan (awful team, but one good year where you blow your wad)?

Peoria Pliers: That's an easy question for me, although my response is based off of different criteria...namely that St. Cloud should be wiped off the face of the earth along with Osama Bin laden and the entire Philadelphia Flyer franchise...so I'd go with UMD. From a fan's standpoint, however, I will give SCSU credit for being amazing supporters of their team. And I do like Motzko.

Scoops McCracken: UMD has always had a hint of dirtier hockey, even before the former UND player became their coach. Even back in the Sertich days. SCSU isn't as dirty.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah I can agree with that. Now that the pumpkin-pie-haircutted-freak Dave Hakstol is leading the charge from the Pillbox known as the UND bench, however, UND has taken that meat headedness to the next level.

Scoops McCracken: They are a piece of work, I agree. Both Hakstol and Cary Eades.
Peoria Pliers: North Dakota Hockey - putting the "Fighting" back in "Fighting Sioux!" Those guys belong in the WHL coaching for the Vancouver Giants or something

Scoops McCracken: Signing Day: North Dakota has announced the signing of the following student-athletes: Dr. Hook McCracken, Olge Olgelthorpe, and the Hanson Bros.
Peoria Pliers: Hey man, your city produced their latest knucklehead in Finley. I still can't believe he got drafted in the 1st round.

Scoops McCracken: I have no defense for Edina. None.

Peoria Pliers: Yet another person failing to defend Edina. HA! Let them eat cake.

Peoria's Picks - 11/13

2008-11-13T10:18:00.000-08:00

Ugh. 0-6 last week. Ugh. That's all I can say. I feel more downtrodden than Donald Rumsfeld at a peace conference. The scary thing is that none of my picks were even close. What a joke. Well, in honor of the GOP Governor's meeting in Miami this week, I'm gonna pick myself up off the tarmac and get back to work. Hopefully Sarah Palin or T-Paw can offer me a ray of hope this week and channel some of their undying positivity into my picks. I won't hold my breath.

Northwestern getting 4 at MICHIGAN. Yeah, so the Michigan defense looked decent last week, but I chalk that up to the Gophers loss of Decker and their amazing inability to adapt. I like NU's defense a lot, and Michigan's offense is still horrible, regardless of what they did against the Gophers. Northwestern sends the Wolverines packing, plus this is always a great trap game since Ohio State is looming on the horizon. Wildcats 21, Wolverines 17.

Georgia by 8.5 at AUBURN. Auburn's program is dying right before their eyes, and Georgia has shown that they are very good at blowing out mediocre opponents, even on the road. Frankly, I don't think this game is going to be close. I love watching Richt's squad this year since it is like looking into the next three years of the 1st round of the NFL draft - Stafford, Moreno, and A.J. Greene, who I still contend is better than Julio Jones. Anyway, UGA wins a landslide. Bulldogs 41, De-Clawed Tigers 17.

FLORIDA by 21 vs South Carolina. Florida is on an absolute rampage right now and I don't think they are going to be stopped. I'm slowly turning into a Tebow fan, and lord knows that Chris Smelley is still...well...Chris Smelley. The Gamecocks might have a fine defense, but let's not forget that the Gators hung 49 on Georgia and 51 on LSU. This is a HUGE spread for an SEC game not involving Vandy or Kentucky, but I like it. Gators 49, Gamecocks 17.

Minnesota getting 14 at WISCONSIN. I think Wisconsin wins this game, but by two TD's? Really? Sure they blew out Indiana, but who cares? They are INDIANA! Wisconsin still doesn't have a viable QB, and Travis Beckum is out for the season, which offsets the Gophers loss of Decker. I like the Gophers to bounce back on the merits of Mike Dunbar's game planning. Also, this is one of the fiercest rivalries in all of college sports...these games are usually not blowouts. The Gophers should be able to keep this one close. BADgers 31, Gophers 28.

Texas by 13 at KANSAS. Mangino's squad was exposed last week and they lost to a very mediocre Nebraska team. Thanks for the donk, asspipes, I had money on you guys. Anyhoo, I think Texas realizes that to get back in the mix they are going to have to hang lots of points on everyone from here on out. Quan Cosby is still my favorite receiver, and I think Reesing is going to take an absolute beating by the hogs on the UT defensive line. Texas 49, Kansas 21.

The OVER at 51.5 on the Nevada/San Jose St. game. I love the Pistol offense, and I need a random pick. Tah-Dahh! Mind you, I have not seen San Jose St. play a football game since I was watching my dorm-mate play as them during my freshman year of college...but I like their mascot and I like the fact that Nevada should score at least 42 points. Nevada 48, San Jose St. 21.

Uconn by 10 at SYRACUSE. THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! Syracuse sucks. That's all I can say. This line seems too good to be true, so I am hoping that I am not about to step into another Akbar Trap, but screw it. I was 0-6 last week, there is only one way to go - up! Huskies 35, Orangemen 14.

The UNDER at 46 on the North Carolina/MARYLAND game. I had to pick one Under. This is it. UNC 21, Maryland 17.

SCOOPS' CFA PICKS: MID-NOVEMBER SLUMBER

2008-11-12T10:59:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 6-4
Season: 56-50
Net Gain/Loss: + $158.50

My Gophers are in a complete Baloo/Kit Cloudkicker Tail Spin, and suddenly the most hated of all is waiting for them. Perfect. Why not just kick me in the groin, God, and call it a day? Nevertheless, not an outstanding slate of games this weekend as most rivalries begin next weekend and move into the Thanksgiving weekend.

WISCONSIN (-13.5) over Minnesota: And it pains me, but the only person in more pain than me watching my Gophers right now is Adam Weber. The problems of the OL have resurfaced to the max, and it’s affecting Weber in that he has no confidence in anything he does because he knows he’s going to get absolutely blasted. It will be interesting to see if Dunbar & OL coach Phil Meyer can come up with a way to scheme themselves out of this messy box that they’re in. 13.5 is a lot of points, especially with the defense the way they are, but Minnesota’s offense can’t sustain any drives. Losing Decker for the weekend hurts badly, and I expect the Wisconsin offense to keep the defense on the field for 35 minutes.
SCOOPS’ PICK: WISCONSIN 27, MINNESOTA 10

Indiana (+35.5) over PENN STATE: I know I’m bucking some “records against the spread” trends with this pick, but a 35.5 spread means that Penn State really can’t F-around at any point in the game. Everything needs to go right from the get go, and you still have garbage points to worry about. I like Penn State to win rather largely, but Indiana to maintain the cover.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 38, INDIANA 10

MICHIGAN (-3.5) over Northwestern: Michigan finally displayed the defense which was supposed to be able to keep them in games this season while the offense got a hold of themselves last weekend against Minnesota. I see a bit too much Michigan pride in wanting to close out their last home game with a win and a bit of momentum heading into Ohio State.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN 24, NORTHWESTERN 17

IOWA (-17.5) over Purdue: A lot of points for a team that still employs nothing more than the dreaded “game manager” at QB, but Iowa’s defense will keep Purdue down and the 27 year old Green should be able to hammer away at Purdue.
SCOOPS’ PICK: IOWA 38, PURDUE 13

Ohio State (-9.5) over ILLINOIS: Ohio State still is fighting for a BCS berth, and Illinois lost to a MAC team in front of 385 fans at Ford Field last weekend. Not to mention that one team is simply better than the other and the revenge factor from last year, and you have a Buckeye win.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 37, ILLINOIS 20

North Carolina (-2.5) over MARYLAND: About time I jumped on the Butch Davis ACC bandwagon. UNC is smelling a BCS bowl. I’d even watch this game if Juan Dixon & Chris Wilcox were playing on offense against Sean May & Tyler Hansbrough. And this allows me to speak of the great quote from Maryland basketball coach Gary Williams when on the Jim Rome Show years ago: “North Carolina is Carolina…..they’re on TV more than LEAVE IT TO BEVAAAAA!”
SCOOPS’ PICK: NORTH CAROLINA 27, MARYLAND 20

Mississippi State (+21) over ALABAMA: I read an interesting stat in which the Alabama offense hasn’t scored an offensive touchdown against Mississippi State since 2004. That doesn’t mean that much considering Nick Saban was still coaching LSU at the time, but you get the point. Sly Croom will keep it close.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ALABAMA 24, MISSISSIPPI STATE 10

Texas (-13) over KANSAS: Style points time. If Texas Tech does in fact lose to Oklahoma and all three are in a 3-way tie, the tiebreaker will be who has the higher BCS ranking. Right now, it looks like that team would be Oklahoma considering they would be adding wins against Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. Mack Brown knows this, and knows that it’s style points time. Look for Texas to blast Kansas straight into the Insight or Independence Bowl.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS 52, KANSAS 31

Thursday Throwdown! 11/6/08

2008-11-06T15:19:00.000-08:00

Scoops McCracken: Throwdown Bitch!

Peoria Pliers: BORING week this Saturday, whats your biggest non-Gopher matchup?

Scoops McCracken: Boring? Texas Tech/Oklahoma State should be a good one, and even though I like Bama to win, never count out drunk LSU fans when involved.
Peoria Pliers: OK, so there are exactly two other big games. Usually there are some better matchups than what this weekend offers, you gotta admit

Scoops McCracken: My only political observation question: Did Barack Obama's pro statement for a playoff play a part in him winning Pennsylvania because of the heavy PSU fan vote?

Peoria Pliers: That actually might have had some impact. Sounds like a perfect study for a PoliSci Grad Student

Peoria Pliers: If you assume that the BC/Notre Dame telecast will last exactly 180 minutes, how many minutes will you be watching?

Scoops McCracken: I'm not a big fan of either school. I hate BC and their slanted italic numbers.

Peoria Pliers: So what, 3 minutes? I mean they do call the game the "Holy War", that's gotta be worth something?

Scoops McCracken: I suppose a minute....I'll check the score if I'm flipping. Although I did end up watching all the OT's of the Pitt-Notre Dame field goal pillowfight. Are you hoping for Texas Tech and Alabama losing, creating Penn State and lots of 1 loss teams fighting it out?
Peoria Pliers: Yes, Yes I am, without a doubt. Joe Paterno is my favorite Republican, so I really have to root for him now considering the rough Republican road ahead

Scoops McCracken: For those wanting a playoff, this has to be a dream season. Can people honestly argue the virtues of USC, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Texas, & Alabama as deserving over each other?

Peoria Pliers: Of course not, but I think that the same thing happens EVERY YEAR...it's all about who peaks last and gets the favorable bounce for someone else's opponent. I know that there are tons of pundits who will say that the BCS gets it right, but the whole idea is ludicrous if you ask me, if for no other reason than there always going to be five or six teams that are immeasurable similar. Let me ask you this...Sen. Arlen Specter has threatened to revoke the non-profit status of the NCAA due to the fact that they seem to be more and more profit-driven, even in the face of situations like the BCS crapola. If that threat becomes a reality, does it really have the legs to motivate a football playoff, or would the old white guys running the colleges and conferences just go about their business as usual?

Scoops McCracken: It would be interesting to see. The NCAA could use a kick in the ass. But it's the college president's that are the ones that need the convincing. I honestly don't think it's a Myles Brand effort.

Peoria Pliers: I always TRY to see things from someone else's view, and with the college presidents, it must be tough given the skyrocketing costs of education and the downward spiral of government funding for said programs. I can only assume that most A.D.'s are given one directive - don't cost us anything. Beyond that, I don't think that most of the college presidents give a rats ass about athletics, which is probably the right attitude. The NCAA seems to have created this monster, much in the same way that pro sports franchises did by instituting government funding for stadiums. Why the F**K would taxpayers pay for a stadium? That seems as ludicrous as a taxpayer paying for a Wrestling mat or college baseball stadium, but that's the new status quo, which is probably wrong. But you can't put the genie back in the bottle...NCAA football is such a huge profit center and cultural icon that regressing to the days of it being an afterthought of academia is probably impossible

Scoops McCracken: You have lots of things for me to tackle, so I'll try my best.
Peoria Pliers: nice pun...tackle...

Scoops McCracken: The AD's have a difficult job, especially with the demand to fulfill title IX requirements. Their main goal is to make money. What I never have liked about the president's argument is they use the academic card.

Peoria Pliers: I think it depends on how it is used...whey they say that three weeks of games detracts from the player's academics, I think that is complete bull. When they say that they need higher profits to fund the athletic departments so that it doesn’t detract from the academic offerings of the school, that makes sense to me

Scoops McCracken: Here's a question I have: I've been watching women's field hockey on the Big Ten Network.....why does Minnesota not have a team? They'd probably be good at it, and #2: having the team would add female athlete #'s helping out with Title IX.

Peoria Pliers: That's a VERY Good question. Plus, if we had a field hockey team, then we would have hundreds of extra patients for the orthopedic center on campus...those poor women look like they are in pain at all times, running around bent over. I sound like an old man, but that just doesn’t look good. So you got the Horned Frogs or the Utes tonight?

Scoops McCracken: That's a good game......yeah, I think so. BYU got doggypounded by TCU, and I think Utah gets the same.

Peoria Pliers: Agreed, TCU is a good squad. How about Ohio State/Northwestern...do the Wildcats have a chance?

Scoops McCracken: I don't think they win, but I don't think it's a blowout either. OSU is having trouble scoring right now. I still think it's the right move to play Pryor because this season is pretty much a wash for them. They won't win a Big Ten title, can't win a BCS title, and are pretty much pegged into the 2nd Big Ten bowl slot. Start getting youngsters in there. The cats are better than I thought; I give them all the credit for the win over the Gophers.
Peoria Pliers: I think the Wildcats might win this one...I like their MOXIE. That's my upset special. I won't bet on it, but I like them to win

Scoops McCracken: I took them to cover.

Scoops McCracken: Is Harrell the front runner for the Heisman? I like the talk, even if the trophy is often times a joke.

Peoria Pliers: I have no idea since the popularity contest of the Heisman seems like a giant Wank to me, but yeah, I think after his performance in the big game last week, he's got to be the front runner. Colt McCoy's image in everyone's mind is now burned in as the "Oh my god, how did we just lose that game" face, so I think he has ZERO chance of winning it now. So considering our mutual hatred of the BC/Notre Dame matchup, what is your least favorite rilvalry game? What game really has the least reason to be a "big" game, a game that seems more popular than it should be?

Scoops McCracken: I would have said Alabama/Auburn, but with Saban & the Tide's resurgance, probably not so anymore. I'd probably say Florida State/Miami right now.

Peoria Pliers: I'm thinking of games like Notre Dame/Stanford. Florida St/Miami is a good example.

Scoops McCracken: USC/Notre Dame is there as well. Other than the '05 game, USC has been in dominating mode.

Peoria Pliers: Did you know that Cincinnati and Miami of Ohio have been playing since 1888, two years longer than Army-Navy and Minnesota/Wisconsin?

Scoops McCracken: I did not....I know that Mizzou/Kansas is up there with Minnesota/Wisconsin in terms of games played. You know, if Minnesota wins this weekend, you get the jug at the state fair in 2009, 2010, & 2011 guaranteed since Michigan goes off the schedule the next two years?

Peoria Pliers: WOW. Really? That is awesome, it makes the game even bigger than originally thought. Go Gophers. My buddy almost broke the Jug once; he was catering an event at the Alumni center and bumped the flimsy table the jug was sitting on. That may have sparked a new civil war

Scoops McCracken: I think there's actually more than 1 I believe but I'm not sure. Any Parting shots?

Peoria Pliers: YES WE CAN!!! That should be the battle cry of the Gophers vs. Michigan

Scoops McCracken: Yeah......Michigan. All those years of jacking around the Gophers........To quote the great Rev. eremiah Wright......."MICHIGAN'S CHICKENS............ARE COMING HOME.......TO ROOST!"

Peoria Pliers: There you have it, folks.

Pliers' Picks - 11/6/08

2008-11-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to gloat for too long since my YTD record is still below .500, but I do want to bring up two quotes from my picks last week:

(On the Texas Tech/Texas game) - "I'm taking the Mad Bomber for the first time in my life for one reason and one reason only - Michael Crabtree. That guy is a FORCE, and I think he will be a diffrence-maker."

(On the Minnesota/Northwestern game) - "This pick pains me, but I really think that the Gophs are living and dying by the opprotunistic turnover at the right time, and that has to catch up to them eventually. I think the Gophs should score more points in the dome than they did outside at West Lafayette, but I am going to have to go with the upset special here."

I'll say this...after being so sucky for so long, it sure feels good to be right once in a while. Too bad about UGA, though...

Last Week - 4-3-1
YTD - 34-38-1

Texas Christian by 1 at UTAH. Continuing with the theme of taking Christian schools on the road (Thank You, Sister Helen Jean Moriarity), I think TCU wins this one BIG tonight. Utah has played nobody, barely squeaked by a bad Michigan team, and is 8-0, which puts tons of BCS-based pressure on them. TCU 31, Utah 17.

Georgia Tech getting 5 at NORTH CAROLINA. Georgia Tech is 5-1 ATS so far this year, they run an exotic and explosive offense that Butch Davis hasn't seen since he was coaching the J.V. squad at Oka Locka, and the Powder Blue Warriors are still missing their best QB and WR. Georgia Tech's defense won't allow more than 14 points, and I like the odds of the Dirty Bees putting up more than a handful on the Tar Heels. Georgia Tech 24, UNC 21.

Kansas by 1 at NEBRASKA. Sorry Bo, you just don't have the horses, even if this game in in your backyard. Funny story...I drove by the Richfield Football practice field the other day and I saw that the staff out there brought back the Blackshirts for the defensive players. I had heard that the "Blackshirts" were back...but if they can be back in Richfield, I don't think it carries much weight in Lincoln. Has Kansas really fallen off that much? I say no. Kansas 35, Nebraska 24.

LOUISANA STATE getting 3.5 vs. Alabama. I'm not going to make this about Saban/Miles. I'm not going to make it about whose state is more backwards. What I am going to make this game about is the fact that it is at Baton Rouge, that the Tide have a HUGE bulls-eye on their backs, and that the only game LSU was out of was against a surging Florida team. This game turns the SEC on it's head. LSU 17, Alabama 13.

Notre Dame by 3 at BOSTON COLLEGE. The HOLY WAR is shaping up between these two Catholic...err...powerhouses? This Holy War is more like a Holy Fistfight consdiering the stature of these two teams this year. I wish I could predict this game to end in a -1 to -1 loss for both teams, but in lieu of that, I think that Notre Dame showed enough against Pitt to prove they are worth more than 3 points against a decimated BC squad. Irish 34, Eagles 24.

Arizona by 41 at WASHINGTON STATE. No explanation here other than that the Wazzu Watchdogs have been asleep at the wheel, mostly due to the fact that they are currently left with a QB that I believe was starting on the Spokane 9th grade team last year. They have gone through like 12 QB's in the past month. The white flag is out. Arizona 42, Wazzou 0.

OK, that is six, and I can't find anymore juicy picks...I'll update this tomrrow with some more flayva.

DOWN GOES SCOOPS!

2008-11-05T15:15:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 2-6
Season: 50-46
Net Gain/Loss: + $142.50

Kind of a rough week with a bunch of misfires. It happens. It’s the reason why Venetian is building a second Plazzo tower and Mandalay Bay builds “The Hotel” as additions. They sometimes take you. But in an effort to sound positive after a rough election Tuesday for Scoops, the sun shines the next day.

MINNESOTA (-7.5) over Michigan: Steven Threet is listed as doubtful, but a backup QB didn’t help the Gophers’ D much last weekend. However, Northwestern was playing with overall more confidence, which may not be high for Michigan this weekend where they’re only playing for two things: the Little Brown Jug and beating Ohio State. If Michigan gets down quickly, it could be a Gopher blowout. I think the health of Eric Decker is what keeps this from being a runaway.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 27, MICHIGAN 17

IOWA (+7.5) over Penn State: All of Iowa’s losses have been by less than 7 points. And the health of Darryl Clark may play a big part. With a jacked up crowd, Iowa keeps it close, but Penn State wins what should be their only possible trip up the rest of the way.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 31, IOWA 27

NORTHWESTERN (+11) over Ohio State: OSU doesn’t have the offense. Fitzgerald knows how to play it close and not give it away like MSU did to Ohio State.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 27, NORTHWESTERN 17

MICHIGAN STATE (-9.5) over Purdue: No analysis provided.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 34, PURDUE 20

Illinois (-7) over Western Michigan: Why discuss a team I know nothing about?
SCOOPS’ PICK: ILLINOIS 30, WESTERN MICHIGAN 17

Wisconsin (-10) over INDIANA: As long as douche bag Bielema can keep his cool and his witty remarks to himself and not to officials, Wisconsin should win by double digits.
SCOOPS’ PICK: WISCONSIN 37, INDIANA 20

Alabama (-3.5) over LSU: LSU’s defense is struggling, and in every big game that Bama has played this year, they’ve jumped up big & quickly.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ALABAMA 34, LSU 19

TEXAS TECH (-3) over Oklahoma State: Tech is for real and I think it’s a good thing that a very good Oklahoma State team is their next test so they aren’t trapped.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS TECH 38, OKLAHOMA STATE 30

Florida (-24) over VANDERBILT: Florida seems to be hitting their stride and they’re trying to earn style points in case a 1 loss team is invited to the big dance.
SCOOPS’ PICK: FLORIDA 48, VANDERBILT 10

USC (-18.5) over California: USC is also trying to earn style points.
SCOOPS’ PICK: USC 31, CAL 6

Friday Fistacuffs: 10/31/08

2008-10-31T14:47:00.000-07:00

Peoria Pliers: How many points are scored tomorrow in the Metrodome?
Scoops McCracken: I think it's a lower scoring game....the Gophers aren't making mistakes, but they're not lighting it up either, and Bacher is out as is Sutton. I wouldn't go over 40 for an O/U. What do you think?
Peoria Pliers: 40 seems amazingly low for that game considering the offensive talent, but both teams have opprotunistic defenses...its either a 68 point day or a 30 point day, probably not much of a chance of middle ground there
Scoops McCracken: Will there be a taunting penalty in the Georgia/Florida game after a score?
Peoria Pliers: Heh. That's a very good question. I really can't see there not being one now that you said it. The real question is this: how many kids get suspended after the ensuing melee?
Scoops McCracken: Why? is the SEC saying that if anything happens, they're going to suspend guys?
Peoria Pliers: No, I'm just envisioning a worst case scenario like the South Carolina game a few years ago
Scoops McCracken: I don't think anything can happene because last year was a one time thing that had an affect. Anything now is just a copycat. Last year was so brilliant. It won't have the same affect this year. At least I think.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah, youre probably right, but a nice WHL-Style throwdown would be sweet with a bunch of SEC kids beating each others heads in. Fun times. Peoria Pliers says: So assuming that your pick is right and mine is wrong...and the Longhorns send the Mad Bomber packing, do they run the table the rest of the way?
Scoops McCracken: I think Texas does if they win....I still think Tech will trip up even if they win tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I think Tech is good and they're different than their usual Tech teams, but I just think Texas is a little better. And McCoy simply isn't making mistakes....the Texas defense will cause Tech to make at least a few. And the kicking situation will bite its ass in the form of having to go for a 4th & 7 from the 30 or 25.
Peoria Pliers: I agree that Tech probably doesn't have the depth to run the table, but it sure would be fun. OK, let's jump the gun two months early...who ya got in these potential BCS Championship game scenarios? Texas vs. Alabama
Scoops McCracken: Texas
Peoria Pliers: Texas vs. Penn State
Scoops McCracken: Texas
Peoria Pliers: Texas vs. Georgia
Scoops McCracken: Still like Texas. I like Texas over everyone right now. I think the big thing for them is Tech is really the last team of the big games the rest of the regular season, and the way they handled Mizzou, they can beat them again in the XII title game. Bama has to beat a very good Georgia again or a Florida team that seems to be cranking it up a bit. Your thoughts?
Peoria Pliers: So you think its a Bama/Texas championship game?
Scoops McCracken: I think it will be a Texas/Penn State title game. I think Bama slips either at LSU or in the SEC title game.
Peoria Pliers: OK, so let's say you are right...can PSU keep the Texas offense under 35 points?
Scoops McCracken: Probably not...I think both teams score in the 30s easily. You're looking at another 2006 Rose Bowl.
Peoria Pliers: Wow, that's a tall order. So then three years later are we looking at Colt McCoy being platered on the cover of SPIN magazine with coke up his nose and Daryl Clark blowing his brains out on an NFL sideline a la Leinert/Young?
Scoops McCracken: Nah, McCoy is too small town for that. And Daryl Clark will be a 3rd down back for the Chiefs.
Peoria Pliers: if that is the case, he will have the biggest cannon arm for a back of all time
Scoops McCracken: C'mon Pliers....you know as well as anyone: Afro-Americans can't play NFL QB. They can't read defenses. Did you see this? http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3674820. You can't make it up!
Peoria Pliers: Yeah I did see that...only in Georgia. The Education Commissioner must be proud.
Scoops McCracken: I'm sure Alabama is upset that they didn't think of this the Friday before the Iron Bowl. Any preditcions on the Gophers-MSU series this weekend?
Peoria Pliers: Hmm. Well I always pull for my Richfield boy Jutting, but I don't think they have a chance this weekend. I mean they did lose their best player Cole "The" Basset "Hound" a few years back so their program must be in pretty deep decline.
Scoops McCracken: Jutting's from Richfield?
Peoria Pliers: Oh yeah
Scoops McCracken: A cradle of hockey hotbed talent.
Peoria Pliers: We have our fingers in a surprising amount of hockey related things around Minnesota...Darby Hendrickson is the all-time leading scorer for the "Horrible Haircut on FSN North" series, Jutting leads a mediocre team an hour from the metro, and our hockey rink still houses Holy Angles. OH, and we have Hat Trick here too. Always a plus
Scoops McCracken: I guess I never thought of Holy Angels as "Richfield's"......they're kind of their own little world with tunnels to west Bloomington, Edina, Eden Prairie, & Prior Lake
Peoria Pliers: Hey, the school is in Richfield, and so is their hockey rink. I wish they would leave, but that's just me. Bunch of jerkoffs. So who is your pick for the first NCAA coach to jump to the NFL this year? Any worthwhile candidates, or is that influx of NCAA guys coming to an end with the Petrino disaster?
Scoops McCracken: I think the good college coaches are wanting to stay. I think Willingham finds himself on an NFL staff though. If someone did jump, I'd see it being a Richt or Meyer.
Peoria Pliers: I like Richt as an NFL guy, cool, calm, good hair. That didn't work so well for Mikey Nolan though. How long do you give Singletary before the entire locker room turns on him?
Scoops McCracken: His bit may be good for the fans, but it may wear out in another two weeks.
Peoria Pliers: especially if they don't win
Scoops McCracken: You know what I'm worried about with the Gophers tomorrow? This is always the point where the other shoe drops. This may be one of the most important games in the program, definitely since the 2003 Michigan game. They have expectations now and need to kick down the door.
Peoria Pliers: Yuuuup. See my picks and you can read how much I agree with you.
Scoops McCracken: Win and people will flock to the dome next week agianst Michigan....lose and it's "same old Gophers" all over again.
Peoria Pliers: I'm going to the Michigan game by the way. I just GOTTA see Threet!!!!
Scoops McCracken: Then again, it took Mason 9 tries to beat Purdue.
Peoria Pliers: HA! Let's just not ever compare anything to Glen Mason. Agreed? Unless it is fecal matter. Or Betamax. Both equally as worthless as Glen Mason coaching a football team.
Scoops McCracken: Also, at what point can Sam McGuffie's name be legally changed to "YouTube sensation Sam McGuffie?" That's all they talk about him regarding his HS youtube runs.
Peoria Pliers: That's a good question. Sounds like something The Sports Guy could spearhead...if he would watch anything other than the Pats, the NBA, and the BoSox
Scoops McCracken: Last Question: What 3 things are we talking about on Monday morning about what happened this past weekend over all else?
Peoria Pliers:
1. Some horrific injury in the Texas/Texas Tech Game
2. The future of either Mack Brown or Mike Leach and their impending contract extensions
3. The official "end of days" for West Virginia after they lose badly to UConn
Scoops McCracken:
1. Texas on track for BCS Title game after surviving in the west Texas plains.
2. Minnesota's turnaround conitnuing and possible New Year's Day bowl.
3. 1,456 people killed by empty bourbon bottles in Jacksonville, FL.
Peoria Pliers: That would be a great line in the Jacksonville Daily Newspaper: "Jack Daniels Murders 12 As Liquid Killing Spree Runs Rampant"

Pliers Picks - Week 10 - 10/29

2008-10-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

Three weeks in a row of going 3-5 has put my confidence level somewhere between "Vince Young taking the ACT" and "Zac Effron having to do a scene where he kisses a girl". That is not a good range. Hopefully this Gopher Homecoming weekend can provide a ray of hope to me finishing the season strong. By the way, for all of the jerkoffs in the local media who played turd in the punchbowl about Tim Brewster...eff you. I haven't exactly been a driver of his bandwagon, but I've always thought that the biggest thing they needed was a recruiter, and now you see the results. I stil think they are going to lose a game they shouldn't, which brings me to...

Northwestern getting 7 at MINNESOTA. This pick pains me, but I really think that the Gophs are living and dying by the opprotunistic turnover at the right time, and that has to catch up to them eventually. I think the Gophs should score more points in the dome than they did outside at West Lafayette, but I am going to have to go with the upset special here. Wildcats 31, Gophers 28.

Pittsburgh getting 5.5 at NOTRE DAME. The Beano Cook wetdream pick of the week! Since I've been wrong EVERY TIME when picking against Catholic schools...I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on. I love Pitts running game, and while I am afraid of the UND passing attack these days, the reality is that Notre Dame has beaten NOBODY of consequence. Washington, Stanford, Purdue, Michigan, and San Diego State are not exactly "quality wins". Pitt 34, Notre Dame 28.

GEORGIA getting 6 vs. Florida. I think I've been wrong on every Florida pick this year, too. Eff it, I'm picking Georgia. Their defense is coming into form and they are finally figuring out that chucking the ball to A.J. Green is almost always a good idea. Let's just hope that Richt doesn't go Mike Tice on us and start creating an "A.J. Ratio." Oh yeah, and I like the fact that Florida blew Kentucky out last week...it should hurt their motivation, and UGA has lot's of confidence after pushing Florida out of the BCS race last year. Georgia 24, Florida 21.

SOUTH CAROLINA by 6 vs. Tennessee. Did anyone see the Tennessee QB performance last week against Alabama? Their QB situation is more of an abomonation than Ann Coulter being impregnated by Keith Olbermann. All I have to say is this: when Chris Smelley is the best quarterback on the field, the opposing team is in TROUBLE. 'Cocks 28, Vols 10.

TEXAS TECH getting 5 vs. Texas. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!!!!!! I'm taking the Mad Bomber for the first time in my life for one reason and one reason only - Michael Crabtree. That guy is a FORCE, and I think he will be a diffrence-maker. I don't think Texas is stopping the Red Raiders in Lubbock, especially in perfect weather. Hopefully the Techies can channel a little bit of Zach Thomas this weekend and knock off the Mack Brown All-Stars for the first time since 2002. Red Raiders 52, Texas 42.

IOWA getting 3 at ILLINOIS. Ron Zook as a field general is a little like Alberto Gonzales as the Attorney General. Everyone knows he is unfit for the job, but nobody can really do anything about it. Add that predicament to the fact that Ferentz is the next Joe Paterno when it comes to playing team football AND that the Iowa RB is making a Heisman push, and I think it equals an upset win at Champaign. Who would have thought that the Illini would end up having a sub .500 record in the Big Ten before the season started? Iowa 24, Illinois 17.

Colorado getting 4 at TEXAS A&M. A rare Big XII pillowfight. I like Hawkins a helluva lot more than Mike Fricken Sherman. I know the Buffs got blown out last week, but that was Missouri. This is a totally different animal, and Colorado is fighting for a bowl spot. Did I mention A&M SUCKS? Yeah, I did. I think I do every week. Colorado 28, A&M 21.

MICHIGAN STATE by 4.5 vs Wisconsin. It sure is fun to pick agains the BADgers. A-holes. I think that Javon "The Wringer" Ringer is going to run roughshod over that BADger defense. If I were Bret Bielma, I might start worrying about my job...oh yeah, thats right, you are Barry Alvarez's love-child. No worries for Bret, I guess. Spartans 31, BADgers 14.

Last Week - 3-5
YTD - 30-35-1

SCOOPS' PICKS: 11/1/08 "AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME!"

2008-10-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 4-6
Season: 48-40
Net Gain/Loss: + $187.50

You can’t win ‘em all. I knew the “all road favorites” was going to roll last weekend in the Big Ten, but sometimes you have to lose money until you’re shown with your own eyes. Kind of like how St. Cloud State could have the greatest hockey team and be undefeated going into the NCAA’s. I’m still not going to wager on them until they prove they have the ability to not choke in an NCAA game.

MINNESOTA (-6.5) over Northwestern: If you would have told me before the year that Minnesota would go to Purdue and not give up a TD, I would not only have taken that bet, but probably put my left testicle as the wagering stick. Don’t know what I could have gotten in return, but clearly I would have lost. Now, Minnesota has confidence and Northwestern is banged up with Sutton out the rest of the season and Bacher having a bum hamstring if he is able to go, which will hurt his mobility and take a big part of what he adds to the Northwestern offense.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 27, NORTHWESTERN 16

PURDUE (-2) over Michigan: Personally, I think both teams should just kick each other in the nuts and call it a day. The reason I go with Purdue is, despite the stats saying how bad they are, I was impressed with Purdue’s defense, particularly their DL. And I don’t get the stats. They say they’re awful, but they didn’t give up an offensive TD at Ohio State, held Penn State to 20 points, and had Oregon down for a long time. I suppose it just takes a few games like Notre Dame & Northwestern to ruin a stat sheet. Anyway, Michigan was lucky to be within 2 TD’s of Michigan State last week. I give the edge to the defense I like and the home crowd.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PURDUE 20, MICHIGAN 17

Iowa (+125) over ILLINOIS: Clearly, Illinois misses Mendenhall as they don’t have a running game which Juice feeds off of, and he’s forced to make plays through the game. He’ll get yards, but he’ll also make mistakes if he has to do it through the air. Meanwhile, Iowa is simply getting better, they have a solid defense, and a running game that is hammering teams right now.
SCOOPS’ PICK: IOWA 23, ILLINOIS 20

MICHIGAN STATE (-4.5) over Wisconsin: Will there be a letdown against Wisconsin this week for Sparty On? I think they’ll build off of it since they won. Meanwhile, although Wisconsin won, things aren’t all rosey as Beckum was lost for the season. The Badgers have TE depth, but it’s not explosive enough. And the road environment won’t be kind to Dustin Sherrer.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 27, WISCONSIN 17

INDIANA (-3) over Central Michigan: Not much to say about this one, other than Indiana is coming off a Big Ten win and the offense showed a bit of life. With a defense that isn’t completely inept, that should be enough to beat a MAC team.
SCOOPS’ PICK: INDIANA 30, CENTRAL MICHIGAN 24

Texas (-4) over TEXAS TECH: The Showdown in the Big XII. I correctly thought Texas Tech would walk Kansas and they are a different Tech team than the usual bunch, but Texas can score and be efficient as well. They’ve seen Daniel & Bradford and were able to fend off a good Oklahoma State team. Plus the walk-on kicker that won the kicking contest is a great story (my dream actually), but it’s the kind of thing that doesn’t help you in a game against the #1 team in the country. Make sure all the bulbs in the scoreboard are working!
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS 48, TEXAS TECH 41

Georgia (+6) over Florida [@ Jacksonville]: I think they officially disallowed it to be called the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party due to the apparent nature of college football fans in the south enjoying alcohol. Either way, we return to the scene where one year ago Mark Richt challenged his team to show some emotion and they acted with the greatest post TD celebration in the history of mankind where the entire team stormed the field after the Dawgs took a 6-0 lead early in the game, saying “hell with the 15 yard penalty,” which caused Urban Meyer a great deal in anger simply because he hadn’t thought of this brilliant idea first. Georgia’s offense got on track at LSU, but so did Florida’s two weeks prior to against LSU. Two damn good teams, and just going with the points in this case.
SCOOPS’ PICK: FLORIDA 20, GEORGIA 17

OLE MISS (-6) over Auburn: Wow did Auburn look awful last Thursday night at West Virginia. They are a program in turmoil and usually you go one of two ways: rally around the coach or fold up and get taken doggy. In the SEC, rarely do you right the ship simply because you want it more. Lots of angry men running around a football field down there. I say I say….emancipate from Tommy Tuberville!
SCOOPS’ PICK: OLE MISS 31, AUBURN 17

THURSDAY THROWDOWN: 10/23/08

2008-10-23T14:16:00.000-07:00

Scoops McCracken: Penn State-Ohio State. Can PSU exercise the demons of the Horseshoe?
Peoria Pliers: I really want to say that they will, and I think they have looked AMAZING so far this year with their disciplined play and creative offense....but they have to lose one game before the end of the season, right? I mean that's a horrible reason to pick against them, but I think this very well may be game they lose since the Horsehoe is a as formidable a place as Sex Panther is a scent
Scoops McCracken: Ohio State completely boggles my mind. They look amateurish against Wisconsin & Purdue, but then absolutely gang rape Michigan State. They do the complete opposite of what I think they're going to do, minus the Minnesota game.
Peoria Pliers: So you're going with them to win then?
Scoops McCracken: I am, yes....but I wouldn't bring the deed to the farm with to the casino.
Peoria Pliers: true that. So do your knees hurt as bad as mine for jumping onto the Daryl Clark bandwagon?
Scoops McCracken: I've kind of liked him all year.....one benefit of the Big Ten network: getting to watch all the preseason camps. I liked PSU then....and remember, I did pick them to go to the Rose Bowl before the season.
Peoria Pliers: Oooooo, you sound like Beano Cook
Scoops McCracken: If I was Beano Cook, I'd be talking about the potential of a Notre Dame-Pittsburgh Orange Bowl as being the greatest BCS game ever.
Peoria Pliers: good point
Scoops McCracken: But what I would like is Bama to lose and PSU & Texas to run the table and end up playing in the title game.
Peoria Pliers: That would be AWESOME, I'd love to see that matchup, although I would have preferred Oklahoma or Mizzou instead of Tejas
Scoops McCracken: Perhaps, but I don't mind this Texas team. I have a soft spot for Mack Brown, and I'd much rather see Texas than Florida or Bama or some other SEC academic institution.
Peoria Pliers: In the heirarchy of coaching snakes, Mack Brown definately is lower on the totem pole than Urban Meyer
Scoops McCracken: I think Mack Brown knows what he's got and where he's at....and he doesn't need to be a snake oil salesman like Meyer or Saban. But I'm loving this season.....the Gophers are playing ok and Wisconsin is shitting the bed....I couldn't ask for much more. Speaking of which, big series down in Madtown this weekend for the hockey club. I know it's a football thing, but hockey gets the old gears cranking! Sioux suck, blog readers!
Peoria Pliers: Yeah I scored tickets to the Wild game tonight so I get to watch Vanek light it up like the olden days, which is sweet. Gotta love hockey season, no dobut. And yes, the Sioux do suck. Badly.
Scoops McCracken: Were you able to watch the Gophers against SCSU last weekend?
Peoria Pliers: I watched the first two periods of the game on Friday...they looked fast and small
Scoops McCracken: I don't want to get too off the football tangent here, but I think they do have a mix of decent size. I think they have crazy depth; depth we haven't seen since 2002 & 2003 where the 4th line dominates every shift. Hopefully that top flight go to guy can emerge though, like Pohl or Vanek back in those days. I'm surprised you didn't go after Texas Tech being a point underdog agaisnt Kansas this weekend.
Peoria Pliers: I'm done with Mike Leach and his Air Raid bull-honkey. His defense is like an air-leak, and they just don't have the consistency they need. I'm surprised you didn't make six MAC predicitons
Scoops McCracken: I usually make two invovling Bowling Green & Northern Illinois, but they're playing each other this weekend, hence just one pick. I did nail Toledo being given too much respect though.
Peoria Pliers: Totally agree with the Toledo pick, beating Michigan this year is like the Gophers sweep of St. Cloud over the weekend...be happy with it, but don't get too excited. So what did you make of the Tommy Bowden situation at Clemson and then resulting media circus created by Spiller and Harper? Their media strategy is as cohesive as a cluster bomb dropped from 95,000 feet....
Scoops McCracken: It's hard......I think Bowden read the writing on the wall and knew he was a gonner, so he wanted to get a jump start. But I'm not much for a coach quitting midseason on kids that they preach to all year long on never quitting. Lesson as always: Clemson is irrelevant.
Peoria Pliers: yeah you called it at the beginning of the year. I tried to go with that whole "they have so much talent" argument, but alas, I was wrong again. We nee to come up with a name for coaches like Tommy Bowden, Lloyd Carr, and Ron Zook whose teams constantly underachieve despite high levels of talent, something snazzy
Scoops McCracken: I don't know if I have a name for it, but I dubbed a few terms when our high school reunions came up. It was if a girl was a "Ryan Leaf" or a "Tom Brady." Ryan Leaf: the knockout girl in high school that is now way over the hill, a total slut, and her best days are past. Tom Brady: the under the radar girl that 10 years later is now a complete knockout.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah, we need something similar for these mediocre coaches. Something like the "Michael Brown" (FEMA guy) trophy, or something
Scoops McCracken: You remember Al Goins from the frat days? That could be for the guy that is brilliant at something, but too stupid to be successful because of their ego. Or Stephen Schuller?
Peoria Pliers: Al and Shuler were definately in that book, although illicit drugs played their part as well. How about the "Pat Sajak" award, or maybe the "Tim Matheson" award for biggest underacheiver in college football. Other classic underacheivers might be The Dude from the Big Lebowski, Michael Olowakandi, or Reggie Ball from Ga Tech a few years back.
Scoops McCracken: Or highly recruited guys that really weren't that good. Justin Zwick....Lorenzo Booker....
Peoria Pliers: I like it. I will submit the names to the Trophy committee and get back to you asap
Scoops McCracken: I think me & you should try to take over a football team at like South or Edison or something like that.
Peoria Pliers: I've been pushing that agenda with Marc for a few years now
Scoops McCracken: Run veer for a few years to get things under control, and then BLAMO.......spreadHD
Peoria Pliers: Spread HD huh. With a bunch of kids from Edison? I like it
Scoops McCracken: I still have the playbook I developed for the K-Sig football program "the West Bank" offense since I came up with it sitting in boring Sociology classes in Blegen Hall
Peoria Pliers: The West Bank offense is always a plus, unless you run into the Jihadist 4-6...then you are SCREWED
Peoria Pliers: So are you going to watch the Auburn/West Virignia pillowfight tonigth>?
Scoops McCracken: Yeah, I'll probably flip between that and the world series. Auburn's fun to watch defensively, and Pat White is still Pat White. Not as intriguing as if you would had told me about these two teams back in August, but I'll watch. How does Auburn fire an o-coordinator halfway through a year? Did Tuberville not think that there would be a rough patch?
Peoria Pliers: Here is what I think...the SEC has gone so far away from the "Glen Mason" theory of building a college football team that they are putting EVERY good athlete on Defense, so the games end up being these epic struggles of fast kids on Defense against slightly slower kids on offense...its like watching an NHL game...you just sit around for three hours waiting for the three mistakes that kill one team. And help the other. Tubberville is grasping at straws since his teams have been on the back end of those really close games, and who better to get rid of if you are trying to keep the boosters off of your back...send a message that things are changing, and fire you O-Coordinator. Seems like typical D-1 football B.S. to me
Scoops McCracken: I hear ya, but I think they're fools. 1 year? You have to expect when you're completely switching philosophies that you're going to struggle. Michigan is pretty much expected for me. I thought they'd have 1 or 2 more wins because of the athletes they could plug in, but it's expected.
Peoria Pliers: Oh yeah, they are total fools, do doubt. I'm just trying to say that it isn't a huge surprise. I often wonder how different things would be in Auburn had Tubberville and the Tigers not gotten JOBBED by the BCS a few years ago and he was able to bring home the Natl Championship
Scoops McCracken: I don't know if things would be different. You'd still have the Les Miles, Nick Saban & Urban Meyer's to deal with. Look at Tennessee. Not much has super changed for them since 1998.
Peoria Pliers: Agreed........but who is still coaching there???? Uncle Fester
Scoops McCracken: True, but he proved that even Uncle Fester can win a crystal football if things break your way.
Peoria Pliers: I totally agree with you there, and that's pretty much my point. Had Auburn gotten lucky a few years ago, then none of this hooey with O-Coordinators would matter
Scoops McCracken: Why does the Northeast produce zero football talent?
Peoria Pliers: That is a GREAT question, I never thought of that. If you discount Pennsylvania, there really is a talent vaccuum out there. I would guess economics have a lot to do with it....not many fields, most kids are either too poor to afford equipment or too rich and would rather play hockey?
Scoops McCracken: You'd figure with the success & popularity of the Giants & Patriots not to mention the love for the Bills & Jets that you'd hear about more guys coming from NY, Mass & the other NE states.
Peoria Pliers: I would prefer to think that most of the jokers out there are kinda wussies, like a bunch of Wayzata/Plymouth kids who are afraid to hit and would prefer less contact sports like Soccer and Basketball. I doubt that there are any stats to back me up on that, but I would like to believe it
Scoops McCracken: Yeah, but you even have nuggets of Wayzata/Tonka kids that like to hit, like both Barber's, Laurenitis, Joppru.......just a thought I guess.
Peoria Pliers: a few kids, sure, but not the bulk. And keep in mind that Barber and Laurenitis had top-end talent for parents. So does Texas really run the table this year?
Scoops McCracken: I don't know....they've gotten through two tough ones.....and I think they do fine this weekend against OSU.....I think the one will be the trip to Lubbock. You just never know.
Peoria Pliers: I just can't imagine anyone coming out of that conference unscathed, epecially with that conference title game. So out of the current crop of Big 12 QB's, who makes the best pro in 2012?
Scoops McCracken: I'd say Bradford....you?
Peoria Pliers: Tough choice, but I think I have to go with Chase Daniel, even though he is a little on the small side. He has that leadership quality and pinpoint accuracy...Bradford seems to have the mental edge but he is so protected by that monster O-Line of theirs that I doubt his ability under pressure. I'm really interested to see where they all go in the draft next April
Scoops McCracken: Well, Bradford's only a sophomore, so you get to wait on him another year. The question with Daniel is: is he just a system QB or could he be an NFL QB?
Peoria Pliers: That's always the million-dollar question, but as we have talked about before, there are fewer and fewer choices for the NFL these days since very few teams run pro-style offenses anymore. Accuracy is my biggest disqualifier these days for an NFL QB (other than a super-weak arm), and I think Daniel has the most accurate arm of anyone in the NCAA
Scoops McCracken: Mandel wrote a little bit about this in Urban Meyer possibly being the one that jumps to the NFL because the way offenses are run, the NFL is pretty much going to have to eventually run some type of sophisiticated spread offense just because of what the colleges are churning out right now. You know what I think about Urban Meyer and him being a so-called offensive genius though.
Peoria Pliers: Word up. I wonder what the next big thing is going to be once this spread craze runs out...you got any bets?
Scoops McCracken: Crazy formations where it's only a center with the OL wide out to the left or right with a RB behind it and a quick pass to one side or the other! In all seriousness, I see a cycle back to I-formation and pounding the shit out of smaller, faster teams. This more so than a wishbone, because defensive speed can neutralize an option attack, something the spread defenses are kind of equipped for doing already.
Peoria Pliers: I like the I-Formation idea...I have a cadre of braintrusts that always thought that nobody ever exploited the TE position well enough as a combo of blocker/pass catcher. And the TE's are the ones getting left in the cold with the proliferation of the spread
Scoops McCracken: That was always the secret weapoin of the I. Ohio State was the only one that came close when they had Ricky Dudley & John Lumpkin....but they didn't do it enough. The simple seam down the middle was good for 25-30 yards probably 75-80% of the time it was used.
Peoria Pliers: Ahhh, Rickey Dudley...that guy was a man amongst boys
Scoops McCracken: In college he was, at least.

Peoria's Picks - 10/23

2008-10-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

Ouch. Two weeks in a row of a 3-5 record, and the guys in Vegas are looking mighty smart. In my defense, a bunch of my losses were by 3 points or less. Of course that doesn't mean jack crap, but I thought it would be better if I made an excuse about being wrong instead of admitting that my handicapping just isn't living up to what I had hoped at the beginning of the year. Anyway, onto this week's games.

Last week - 3-5
YTD - 27-30-1

The OVER at 51 on the Minnesota/PURDUE game. Tiller vs. Dunbar. I'd like the over odds on that matchup if they were coaching junior high kids in rurual Alaska. Marcus Sherels is a nice player and everything, but I don't see the Gophs stopping Purde as easily as they stopped a poorly coached Illini team. Minnesota 38, Purdue 35.

Kentucky getting 26.5 at FLORIDA. I know that many of you out there are saying, "No Pliers, don't pick another Florida game...you hate Urban Meyer so much that it clouds your judgement and you always lose!!" Yeah, well EFF YOU. Answer me this: when was the last time a 5-2 team in the SEC was a 26.5 point underdog? This line seems WAAAAY too inflated to me. Kentucky just needs to channel the memories of Hal Mumme and they will be just fine to cover. Florida 38, Kentucky 17.

The OVER at 56 on the Unlv/BYU game. The Moromon Mafia is back in effect this week against a very mediocre UNLV squad who has to travel to Provo for the game. If you are a UNLV player, how do you adjust to that travel schedule? Having to make the trip from the pinnacle of human debauchery to the zenith of biblical prudence has to take a toll on a guy. I bet BYU scores over 50 points in this game alone. BYU 52, UNLV 17.

South Florida by 4 at LOUISVILLE. I love Kragthorpe, but I love Grothe even better. 12 TDs and only 3 picks this year so far for a guy who looks like he could be either the starting Left Fielder for the local Rays squad (C'mon Biscuits!) or possibly a bodyguard with a bad temprament for Miley Cyrus. Either way, Louisville just doesn't have the horses this year, and South Florida's athletcisim is highly underrated. USF 28, Louisville 17.

MARYLAND by 10.5 vs. North Carolina State. Who knows which Maryland team will show up this week? The team that put the smackdown on Wake Forest, or the team that got blown the eff up by a poor Virginia team? I'm not sure, but I do like their defense, and I also like that they are at home. Plus, NC State is a complete abomonation, so the Terps have that going for them, which is nice. Terps 31, NC State 14.

Alabama by 6 at TENNESSEE. My anti-love affair with Philly Fulmer is well documented, as is my concentrated hatred of Benedict Arn...err...Nick Saban. What I can't understand is why this spread is less than a TD? Yeah, so maybe the Knoxville faithful are good for a few points, but how many times is Tennessee going to breach the opponents 35 yard line? Three? Four? This is going to be on ugly football game, and that is without taking John Parker Wilson's haircut into consideration. Tide 28, Vols 10.

MISSOURI by 20 vs. Colorado. Statement game for Chase, Chase, and Jeremy. Time to reload the anger that got them to the BCS bowl last year. Colorado is simply a mediocre football team that is prone to mistakes. Mizzou gets back to Pinkelball this week as Mizzou rolls over everyone else and barely missesout on the Big 12 championship game. Mizzou 51, Colorao 21.

The OVER at 58 on the Eastern Michigan/BALL STATE game. My token MAC pick. Both of these teams can score at will. This oughta be an easy over, I'm amazed it's less than 60. EMU 31, Ball State 42.

SCOOPS' PICKS: 10/25/08

2008-10-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 8-4
Season: 44-34
Net Gain/Loss: + $211.00

I must admit, the picks right now are rolling off my tongue & straight to my wallet. Another successful week going 8-4 and over the $200 mythical dollar amount is the result.

This week, it’s time to cut with the bullshit and get down to brass tax. You have FIVE Big Ten home underdogs.

Minnesota (+100) over PURDUE: The Gophers haven’t won at Purdue since 1990. Talk about two programs seeming to go in opposite directions. The ultimate kicker here is the ability of Minnesota to not come through the game after becoming ranked & a big win. Fortunately for Minnesota, Purdue seems to be in turmoil right now with Kory Sheets bashing Curtis Painter and a lameduck coach that’s trying to maintain a semblance of discipline. Look for Purdue to be a bit better on offense compared to what they have been the past few weeks, but it still not to be enough.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 30, PURDUE 23

OHIO STATE (+120) over Penn State: I will offer a warning to all my loyal readers. I am going against what the records against the spread are showing right now. But I can’t go with all 5 road favorites. And Ohio State seems like they may have righted something last weekend in East Lansing. The problem with all of this is that Penn State hasn’t been in one close game this season. I think that’s the key here. It will be close, and Ohio State will know how to react just a little bit more. I want Penn State to run the table & represent the Big Ten in the BCS title game, but I see the Buckeyes on the fast track for the Rose Bowl.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 27, PENN STATE 24

Illinois (-2.5) over WISCONSIN: Wisconsin looked really awful last weekend in Iowa City. They have two awful quarterbacks, an awful defense right now, and they have no depth anywhere except at running back. Meanwhile, Illinois has put up a lot of yards the past 3 weeks and their offense is getting better & better. I wouldn’t be shocked if the Illini run the table the rest of the way.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ILLINOIS 38, WISCONSIN 20

Northwestern (-8) over INDIANA: Northwestern won with relative ease last week against Purdue while Indiana had its doors blown completely off in a Juice Williams barrage. Indiana’s injured, can’t stop anybody, and is struggling to score. Not a recipe for success.
SCOOPS’ PICK: NORTHWESTERN 34, INDIANA 23

Michigan State (-4) over MICHIGAN: Michigan played hard for a while, but got 2nd half doggy drilled by Penn State. Meanwhile, Michigan State had it’s shot and completely looked overmatched against Ohio State. If MSU was ever going to get rid of the Ann Arbor streak, this is the year and I think they get it done, mostly because Michigan can’t cover a spread for its life.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 30, MICHIGAN 23

Bowling Green (+8) over NORTHERN ILLINOIS: NIU has been covering like it’s their job. Meanwhile, Bowling Green lost to an awful Miami Redhawk team. Bowling Green’s offense is just good enough to keep it within a touchdown.
SCOOPS’ PICK: NORTHERN ILLINOIS 38, BOWLING GREEN 31

TEXAS (-12) over Oklahoma State: Colt McCoy officially moved to video game all-star mode last weekend when they completely blew the doors off of Missouri. He’s running, he’s not throwing incomplete passes, and they have weapons all over the offense. Plus, their defense made Daniel look almost amateurish before the mop up points. OSU now gets to experience the wrath of UT.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS 48, OKLAHOMA STATE 30

Virginia Tech (+185) over FLORIDA STATE: I just don’t like Florida State and I like Frank Beamer & Tyrod Taylor. No other reason than this.
SCOOPS’ PICK: VIRGINIA TECH 24, FLORIDA STATE 20

Texas Tech (+105) over KANSAS: I took a chance that Tech would blow it at A&M and they were trailing at halftime, making me look like a possible genius with them being a +1,000. Naturally, Tech got things in line and ran away. KU, meanwhile, scored & put up yards against Oklahoma, but couldn’t stop them. I think the same thing happens here. If you want to be entertained to the max, tune in.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS TECH 48, KANSAS 45

PITTSBURGH (-9) over Rutgers: Pitt has righted the ship since the opening week loss to Bowling Green with a win at South Florida and the Iowa win is looking better & better each week. Meanwhile, Rutgers is a far cry to what they were two years ago. Pitt takes care of business and keeps marching towards a potential BCS berth.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PITTSBURGH 38, RUTGERS 14

Peoria's Picks - 10/16

2008-10-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

“Love in an elevator, Livin’ it up while I’m goin’ down.” I never thought that Aerosmith would provide such good metaphors for my picks two weeks in a row, but sometimes Steven Tyler has the answers. After a dominating week of picks last week, I took a major dump this week going 3-5. Sure, that’s only one win from breaking even, but after the vig, I’d still be a loser if Oklahoma figured out how to stop Quan Cosby and company (On a sidenote, I think that whoever ends up with Cosby in the NFL is going to be very happy, especially since he figures to slide to the 3rd round or so since he is vertically challenged…but that guy can flat out play).

Last Week – 3-5
YTD – 24-25-1

TCU getting 2 vs. Brigham Young. TCU has gotten back to its roots of painfully ugly uniforms (it’s the color scheme, really) and hardnosed defense. Remember, they held Oklahoma to 35 points. BYU should have lost to a bad Washington team, and things have been going so swimmingly for them lately that I can see them not getting up for this one. I like the Horned Frogs to win a close one, TCU 28, BYU 24.

Wisconsin getting 4 at IOWA. Talk about a downward spiral into the toilet of the Big Ten. Wisconsin is set to lose their 4th Big Ten game in a row if they can’t pull it together in Iowa City, and you know Ferentz is going to have his troops ready. I’m not sure that the BADgers will win this game, but I can’t see Iowa giving more than 3 points here. With desperation on the side of Wisconsin, I like the BADgers to cover. Wisconsin 24, Iowa 27.

The OVER at 62.5 on the Colorado/KANSAS STATE game. If Texas A&M can put up 30 on K-State, Colorado is good for at least 42 this week. Also, the Over is 20-6 on the last 26 K-State road games. Yep. I like the over here, for shiggety. K-State 35, Colorado 48.

The OVER at 60 on the Oregon St./WASHINGTON game. The train has officially left the "Ty Willingham as respected coach" station in Seattle, and I think that there is a distinct possibility that the Huskies go winless this year. If they do, they will certainly be the best winless team in recent college football history. Jake Locker can still move the football, and Oregon State put up SIXTY-SIX (almost the Number of the Beast) points on Washington State last week. That’s a lot of points. The over should be a lock here. Oregon St. 48, Washington 38.

Louisiana State by 3 at SOUTH CAROLINA. So what that LSU got blown out worse than Chuckwheat’s knee ligaments last week. South Carolina STILL does not have a quarterback worth a crap, and Ricky-Jean François Bergeron le Sportsac Avec Frites (Say it Frenchie....SAY IT!!) is back in the lineup this week after missing last week’s game. I don’t care if this game is in Columbia, I like LSU to pull away late and send a message to the rest of the SEC that they are not going anywhere while Lester Miles is in charge. Tigers 27, Gamecocks 13.

Va Tech getting 3.5 at BOSTON COLLEGE. Since all the nuns around here rip me for picking against the Irish, I’m switching my anti-catholic football picks against BC. The underdog is 7-2 ATS the last nine meetings, and Tyrod Taylor is gaining momentum as a decent QB. Plus, I just hate those smug assholes at BC. By the way, since college hockey started last weekend, let's not forget that THE BEANPOT IS A F**KING JOKE YOU A**HOLES! That should be reason enough for this pick to be correct, right? Va Tech 24, BC 20.

Miami by 4 at DUKE. Duke has faced exactly ONE athletic defense, Georgia Tech. The result? 132 total yards of offense, and a 17-0 loss. Gaining 132 yards in a college football game brings back memories of Harry Doyle…ONE GODDAMN HIT? THAT’S ALL WE GOT, ONE GODDAMN HIT? Well I can say goddamn on the air, and I like Miami to hold the Dukes under 200 yards of offense again this week. Miami 31, Duke 10.

Texas Tech by 20.5 vs. TEXAS A&M. I think that instead of picking Oklahoma until they failed to cover, I should just pick against A &M all year long. A 1-5 record ATS so far this year, with no end in sight. They have given up 44 (K-State), 56 (Okla St.), and 41 points (Miami) against BCS opponents this year with a winning record, and they are giving up 7 yards per pass attempt. If I were campaigning for a Heisman like Harrell and Crabtree are, I’d make this a statement game. Red Raiders 56, Aggies 17.

SCOOPS' PICKS: I LOVE THE MONTH OF SHOCKTOBER

2008-10-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 6-5
Season: 36-30
Net Gain/Loss: + $184.00

Record wise, just a typical ho-hum week for Scoops. But when of those 6 is the equivalent of tossing a Hard 10 with the dice at the craps table and paying at +425 like the Gopher pick over Illinois, it gives you a nice bonus and a the ability to handle the just above .500 week. With the Gophers off this weekend, it offers me a good chance to flip around the dial and take in lots of games.

IOWA (-3.5) over Wisconsin: Ah, the old battle that causes Scoops to ask himself “Is it better to cheer for having herpes or syphilis?” Wisconsin was taken doggy in front of a national primetime audience by Penn State, dropping their Big Ten record to 0-3 and spawning the creation of firebretbielema.com. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy & coach, if you ask me. Bielema always seemed like the typical jock in high school: taping kids’ with duct tape, shoving smart kids into lockers; just your typical jughead. Anyway, Iowa is coming off of two decent games with the close loss at Michigan State and the thumping of Indiana where they turned in a 17-9 halftime lead into a route, courtesy of Kellen Lewis getting injured. When all else fails with these two Neanderthal fanbases that have IV’s of paint thinner hooked up to their veins, I go back to the records against the spread. Iowa: 3-2-1. Wisconsin: 2-4. Hope those Rose Bowl tickets can be sold, Badger fans.
SCOOPS’ PICK: IOWA 24, WISCONSIN 20

Purdue (+145) over NORTHWESTERN: Was Northwestern exposed or were they simply another Javon Ringer victim? Tough to say and we may find out more this week. Purdue, meanwhile, is coming off two losses to the two best teams in the Big Ten and hasn’t played as poorly defensively as their ranking shows, keeping Penn State’s SpreadHD to 20 points and not giving up an offensive touchdown at Ohio State last week. They have offensive problems and aren’t the same Purdue, but I’m not sold on Northwestern’s defense quite yet and their offense is struggling just as much as Purdue’s.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PURDUE 27, NORTHWESTERN 20

MICHIGAN STATE (+3) over Ohio State: The game of the week in the Big Ten, where MSU can establish themselves as a potential BCS team. Meanwhile, Penn State is looming for the Buckeyes who are struggling right now offensively with shoddy offensive line play and Pryor struggling with the passing game. They key will be how well the OSU front seven can play against Ringer. If they can make Hoyer have to throw the ball more than the Spartans want, OSU will come out with the win. But as General Corso says, “close.”
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 23, MICHIGAN STATE 21

PENN STATE (-23.5) over Michigan: For some reason, I have a feeling that PSU is absolutely licking their chops and is determined to put on a complete ass kicking to Michigan for the harm that Ann Arbor & her whoreish ways have caused Penn State, particularly 2005. Meanwhile, things are just fine for RichRod after a loss to a 1 win Toledo team that had previously lost to Florida International. Penn State will be “very lucky” to not keep the score under 50.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 48, MICHIGAN 17

ILLINOIS (-16.5) over Indiana: I’m sure homecoming was a great time for all the Illini faithful this past weekend after dropping one to the upstart Gophers. However, I do think Illinois begins to crank things into high gear offensively this weekend and for the rest of the season. Juice has complete balance and the Illini roll.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ILLINOIS 42, INDIANA 20

TEXAS (-6) over Missouri: The Big XII is definitely fun this year, with the Longhorns, Tigers, Sooners, Jayhawks, Red Raiders, & Cowboys. Missouri dropped one they shouldn’t have dropped, but are still in a good position to get another shot in the Big XII title game. Meanwhile, Texas did what most thought they couldn’t do and that was take down the Sooners. Look for the completion percentages by both McCoy & Daniel to be well above 70% and some points scored, but the defense of Texas will make a few more stops than the Mizzou defense will.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS 48, MISSOURI 35

NORTHERN ILLINOIS (-7.5) over Toledo: So a 1 win Toledo team becomes a 2 win Toledo team after defeating a very mediocre Michigan team and the result is quite predictable: given more points the next game than they deserve. Meanwhile, NIU is being quite sneaky in their covers.
SCOOPS’ PICK: NORTHERN ILLINOIS 27, TOLEDO 17

Ole Miss (+13.5) over ALABAMA: Everytime I’ve gone against Alabama this year, they’ve not only won & covered, but done it by double digits. But 13.5 just seems like too many points for me here, especially since Bama now has the pressure of national title talk.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ALABAMA 27, OLE MISS 20

BOWLING GREEN (-9.5) over Miami, Ohio: Ah, I love my MAC picks. And I love picking MAC teams that the Gophers have already played. Miami, meanwhile, is putzing around with a 1 win football team and playing against one of the better passing attacks in the MAC.
SCOOPS’ PICK: BOWLING GREEN 34, MIAMI, OHIO 20

Miami, FL (-4) over DUKE: When was the last time the Hurricanes were only a 4 point favorite over Duke? Cutcliffe has the Blue Devils playing better football for sure, but Miami still has a bit too much talent.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MIAMI 20, DUKE 13

OKLAHOMA STATE (-16.5) over Baylor: This is one I don’t understand. Just the opposite of the Toledo effect. OSU comes off a big upset over Missouri and now is only getting 16.5 over Baylor at home. Are they counting on a Mike Gundy meltdown? Do they know something I don’t? Anyway, one of my gambling rules is “if you have to think 3 times before putting money on Baylor, it’s not a wise move.” I’ve done that here.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OKLAHOMA STATE 49, BAYLOR 20

TEXAS A&M (+1,000) over Texas Tech: Do I think the Red Raiders are going to lose? Probably not. But with an interstate rivalry and Texas Tech having a habit of losing a few games to teams they shouldn’t, it’s definitely worth it to gently put down $10 on the Aggies for the chance to go 10x on the money. Score? Who knows….I’ll go for them winning on a 2 point conversion.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TEXAS A&M 39, TEXAS TECH 38

2008-10-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

Back in the saddle. That's all I can say. I thought last week was good for me, but it was even better for Scoopsie...nice work, buddy. Jimmy the Greek would be proud.

Last week - 6-3-1
YTD - 21-20-1

Anyway, onto Peoria's picks this week. And sorry about the lack of a Throwdown. The good news it that we are in talks with Tony Mandarich's mother for an interview, hopefully we can get it done next week - stay tuned.

Oklahoma by 6 vs. Texas. Last week I said I was going to pick Oklahoma until they stopped covering. Their O-Line is amazing, and Sam Bradford is quickly becoming the next Josh Heupel...except Bradford is even better. Plus, I like Bob Stoops waaaay more than Mack Brown. On a side note, do you think that Mack Brown might end up being relegated to Mike Shanahan territory someday after the rest of his teams fail to win a title without Vince Young (a la Shanahan-Elway)? The real question right now is figuring out how Mack got Vince to play every week...when Dr. Phil retires, my vote to replace him is Mack Brown. They sound the same, so why not? Oklahoma 48, Texas 31.

The OVER at 61 on the TEXAS A&M/Kansas St. Game. I think the last time K-State won in Collegeville a barrel of oil cost $1.56 and women still couldn't vote. I would love to pick the Wildcats here, but the point is this...Miami put up 52 on the Aggies, and K-State can score. I LOVE the over on this game. If I were into lead pipe things, I would lock this one down. Aggies 38, Wildcats 35.

Vandy by 2 at MISSISSIPPI ST. If the Bulldogs were a piece of military strategy, they would be the pillbox. Tough to break, but completely immobile and lacking any semblance of offensive capability. If Sly Croom is oil, then Mike Leach is water. This game very well might end up being close, but the Bulldogs simply will not score on offense. Barring six blocked punts for TD's, Vandy wins this game going away. Vandy 24, Bulldogs 3.

The OVER on the Notre Dame/UNC game at 46.5. I seem to have these two teams in my picks every week, and why not? They are both exciting, both have great uniforms, and both have interesting head coaches. Captain Clausen seems to be getting the hang of things, although I'm not quite sure why every throw he makes seems to be of the Jeff Blake variety. UNC found a replacement for Yates at QB, thank god, since Mike Paulus still has a 33% completion percentage. Although I still think that might be better than Spurgeon Wynn's numbers when he was with the Vikings. Notre Dame 28, UNC 21.

MISSOURI by 13.5 vs. Oklahoma St. In case you don't have anything to do on Saturday night, keep this in mind...the Over/Under on this game is 79.5 That is not a typo. This should be on of the most fun games to watch this season, unless you are related to Sly Croom, Woody Hayes, or the Slowskys from the Comcast commercials. Missouri will score at will, and I just don't think that the Cowboys can keep up. Mizzou 52, Oklahoma St. 28.

Penn St by 5.5 at WISCONSIN. NEWSFLASH: The Badgers are NOT BCS contenders..they just are not that good. The Ohio State game was closer than it should have been given the talent disparity on the field. Penn State has a vastly underrated defense, and Wisconsin's offense is more of a one-trick pony than William Hung. With budding stars on the Nittany Lion offense coupled with a lunch-pail defense, I like Paterno to increase his lead over Bowden with this win. Penn State 31, Wisconsin 13.

Louisiana State getting 6.5 at FLORIDA. Oh Tim Tebow, where have you gone? Maybe you weren't that good to begin with. Or maybe the talent level around you on offense just isn't that good. Or maybe, despite the "offensive genius" of Urban Meyer (a la Todd Olson), the reality is that winning in the SEC is hard to do without a running back worth his weight in mortgage backed securities. Keep in mind that these days, mortgage backed securities are worthless...which shows you how bad the Florida RB's are. LSU finally found a QB two weeks ago, and their defense is flat out better than Florida's. LSU 24, Florida 20.

The OVER at 48 on the Ball State/WESTERN KENTUCKY grudge match. Scoops told me that Ball State could chuck the ball around the field, and they have been proving it every week. Western Kentucky has shown that they can put loads of points on the board against mediocre defenses, and they should only need to score about 14 points to make the over. Ball State 35, W KY 17.

Scoops' Picks: Yippe Kay-Yeah!

2008-10-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

[EDITOR'S NOTE: NO THURSDAY THROWDOWN CHAT THIS WEEK DUE TO THE TEXAS STATE FAIR CURRENTLY GOING ON]

I was cruising through my picks last Saturday, impressed by what I had pulled off. Outright win & correct prediction on what Illinois would do to Michigan, knowing that Northern Illinois would cover at Tennessee, and knowing enough about the Mountain West to make money on the ridiculous outfit known as the Wyoming Cowboys was enough to make me a bit giddy.

However, my lead pipe lock of the week was looking dicey. Wisconsin was hanging tough and took a 4th quarter lead. I didn’t want to be 8-2 with a loss on the LPLOTW. I’d rather be 2-8 and keep my integrity.

Suddenly, Ohio State moved down the field like a hot knife through butter which was then prompted by Allan Everidge promptly throwing a tight spiral directly into the middle of the #2 on Malcolm Jenkins’ jersey. I was vindicated. My reputation saved. 2-0 on Lead Pipe locks to go along with a 9-1 week. Not since Biff Tannen’s 18th birthday at the Hill Valley Racetrack had such efficiency been cranked out.

Last Week: 9-1
Weekly Take: + $81.50
Overall: 39-26
Overall Take: + $133.50

ILLINOIS (-12.5) over Minnesota: The one team that absolutely embarrassed Minnesota last year from game start to game end was Illinois. The Illini put on an absolute clinic, amassing 600+ yards of total offense, including most of the Illini studs sitting out the 4th quarter. Minnesota completely bottled up Kellen Lewis, which is showing that Minnesota is getting better and becoming a defense that can play in space. But I think this is too much. And the reason is I think Minnesota’s offense can’t keep up, although the Illini defense isn’t exactly the Baltimore Ravens right now. The line was tough to call, but I saw either Illinois covering or Minnesota winning outright. I went with the more logical choice:
SCOOPS’ PICK: ILLINOIS 31, MINNESOTA 17

Minnesota (+425) over ILLINOIS: Along with that, I’m going to try to steal it and with the improvement that is being shown by the Minnesota defense, with a +425 on the board, that’s simply too good to pass up, so I’m tossing it on there as well.

INDIANA (+200) over Iowa: The bottom line is that Iowa isn’t good enough that they should be favored in any Big Ten road game right now. They shutdown Ringer pretty well last week, but Kellen Lewis absolutely killed Iowa last year, and I see them taking it outright, making it 3 in a row for the Hoosiers over Iowa.
SCOOPS’ PICK: INDIANA 27, IOWA 20

Toledo (+16.5) over MICHIGAN: Talk about a team that is killing gamblers this year. Michigan has covered the spread only once. The offense still isn’t good enough to blow anybody out, and the defense is showing some signs of weakness. That adds up to 16 points being way too many.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN 27, TOLEDO 17

Michigan State (-1.5) over NORTHWESTERN: Northwestern finally plays a team that has a pulse. MSU has cranked out 5 wins since their opening week loss at Cal. Look for the talked about Northwestern defense to be brought back to earth and reminded what they truly are: a bunch of kids that chose Northwestern over Harvard & Yale because of the importance of football.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 34, NORTHWESTERN 20

OHIO STATE (-18) over Purdue: 18 is a lot of points, but I guess all I can do is use logic. Penn State controlled Purdue with a 14 point win at Purdue. Insert Ohio State & changed venue and 18 points is doable.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 38, PURDUE 13

Penn State (-6) over WISCONSIN: A heartbreaking loss to Michigan two weeks ago being followed up by a last minute loss at home to Ohio State leaves a team vulnerable. Penn State travels to Madison to give one more kick in the groin to those that were thinking Rose Bowl before the season.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 31, WISCONSIN 23

Louisiana State (+200) over Florida: Percy Harvin’s inability to practice this week concerns me, especially with a bunch of angry idiots that run really fast coming to town. I can seen this one going each way, but the line is my influence on this one. 2 to 1 odds with the defending national champion and gunslinger Les Miles at the helm? Count me in!
SCOOPS’ PICK: LSU 24, FLORIDA 20

Bowling Green (PK) over Akron: I love MAC games because I get to see them play so often against Big Ten teams in September, so I feel like I know a bit about them. And this one should actually be an entertaining game. The type of game that if I was just a random football fan living in Wooster, OH, I’d probably drive over to the Rubber Bowl to take in some entertainment.
SCOOPS’ PICK: BOWLING GREEN 35, AKRON 31

GEORGIA (-11.5) over Tennessee: My hatred for Georgia WR’s is well documented, but you’re telling me that a Tennessee team that hung on to beat Northern Illinois is going to keep it within 14 at Georgia, especially an angry Georgia team that knows it needs to run the table to get another potential shot at Alabama or LSU?
SCOOPS’ PICK: GEORGIA 27, TENNESSEE 10

Oklahoma (-7) over Texas: During my research, I learned something interesting about this series: No game between these two has had a margin of 7 points or less since 1999. That’s kind of amazing if you think about it with the heavyweight power of both of these programs. And I think Texas is a legit team this year and is one of the best 6 teams in the country. But knowing that stat, the 7 point spread was tossed out for me and I went with a simple question: Do you really f-ing want to bet against Oklahoma right now?
SCOOPS’ PICK: OKLAHOMA 31, TEXAS 20

Thursday Throwdown...Can you Dig it, Sucka???

2008-10-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

Scoops McCracken:
Last week was the first full game I got to watch Terrell Pryor. What is your opinion?
Peoria Pliers:
Is he the next Vince Young? I don't think so. I like the fire he plays with, he seems to have a chip on his shoulder which is not usually found in the #1 recruit in the land. He's got a cannon for an arm, but his mechanics are just awful...but then again that didn't hurt Vince. Overall, I'd say he is an above average QB in the Big 10, but he is still a liability until he can take a game over with his arm instead of his legs
Scoops McCracken:
I watched him, and I instantly thought Vince Young, only with that chip that makes him better. I honestly think that only two fan bases know what's in store for them: Michigan (because they saw what Vince Young did to them in the '05 Rose Bowl) and Minnesota, because they saw the ability last weekend. His arm may not be there yet, but he absolutely takes Ohio State to a dynamic level; one that they need to be at to be a national champion. I'm offering a prediction: Ohio State wins a national title in the next 2 (or 3, if Pryor is still at OSU) years. He is absolutely ridiculous when he's running with the ball. It's not even fair.
Scoops McCracken:
Anyway, I wanted to get that off my chest. I'm glad that the Gophers have already played OSU, because he's only going to get better and more dynamic. And I offered it up in my lead pipe lock of the week when they play Wisconsin this weekend. The cure for 80,000 drunk, rowdy Wisconsinites is a 6'6" Afro-American that's faster than everyone else AND touches the ball every single play.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah we will see how that matchup plays out...that Wisconsin O-Line is something to see though...their only hope is to keep the ball out of Pryor and Beanies hands.
Peoria Pliers:
OK, so answer me this: Who wins a round robin knife fight tournament between these four: James Laurinaitis, Travis Beckum, Rey Maluaga, and Myron Rolle?
Scoops McCracken:
Beckum's dumb and is a pussy...Laurinatis, despite the whole animal reputation, is still a rich kid from Hamel & Wayzata....So it's between the USC kid and the badass FSU safety. I suppose it just depends on which way the wind is blowing that day.
Peoria Pliers:
I like the explosiveness of Maluaga, and he looks like he should be beating someone’s face into the turf as a member of the All Blacks Rugby Team, so you can never discount his moxie in knife fight, but Rolle has a distinct reach advantage and is much quicker. He is also a finalist for a Rhodes Scholarship, so he's smart as a whip, which probably means he would just run away since nobody ever really wins a knife fight. Myron Rolle is the Florida State equivalent to Vizzini in Princess Bride...he would do very well in an Iocane powder battle of wits
Scoops McCracken:
As long as he doesn't have poison on both knives in the fight.

Peoria Pliers:
So this is a big week for the Pittsburgh Panthers, who are reeling from another underachieving start to their season. How much longer do the Steel City Faithful wait around for Wannstedt to produce something on the field other than ugly uniforms and disappointment?
Scoops McCracken:
Pitt bores me. Until they go back to the mustard colored helmets, I don't care about them. You seem to love talking Pitt football. Is it because of your games of Beer Pong & slices of pizza at Crooklyn on the Pitt campus in 1999 that make you long for the Panthers?
Peoria Pliers:
Big guy puked on himself that night. I don't know, I like most things that come out of Pittsburgh, it's a good town with good blue-collar people. They seemed to be right on the cusp of challenging the folks in Happy Valley a few years ago with Walt Harris, and now they are just spiraling downwards. It interests me, what can I say?
Scoops McCracken:
Well, can't they get Walt Harris back if they so desire? Wannstedt does nothing for me.
Peoria Pliers:
I love Wannstedt as a person, but I'm slowing coming to the realization that for whatever reason, his teams can't win. I think Walt Harris is doing a Vegas lounge act impersonating Roy Orbison at the Plaza downtown these days, so I guess he probably is available. The group is called "The Stagnant Willburys"

Scoops McCracken:
Speaking of available, Lane Kiffin is unemployed. Does he get the Washington or Syracuse job, or get a high profile O-coordinator job?
Peoria Pliers:
That's a good question. He does seem a little sneaky to me, but at the same time Al Davis is just about as reputable as O.J. Simpson, so I'm not sure who to believe on that deal. Regardless of fault in that scenario, the fact that Kiffin took that job in the first place given the Al Davis situation and the horrible talent in Oakland would be a big red flag if I were an A.D. If he thought that was a good idea, he gets a C- - - Bond rating for decision-making. Did he really think that at age 33, with Al Davis breathing down his neck and a roster filled with A-holes and marginal athletes that this was going to end well for him? He's either too stupid to see the logical conclusion, or too ambitious for his own good. SO, to answer your question, I bet he stays in the NFL. I can see him ending up somewhere like St. Louis or Arizona as the O-Coordinator or QB coach
Scoops McCracken:
I'd go with the ambitious angle.... I honestly think he thought he was going to get offered the Minnesota job. I think the Raiders experience is going to make him realize that he likes the college game more. But he could end up being an NFL lifer like his dad.
Peoria Pliers:
yeah that's what I see happening.
Scoops McCracken:
I think he would be smart for both Washington & Syracuse. Syracuse's AD was an associate AD at USC when Kiffin was there. And Washington. Kiffin has experience in the Pac Ten.
Peoria Pliers:
I wonder how many strings Al Davis is trying to pull in the smoky back rooms to screw him over though. For some reason people seem to have a decent amount of respect for Al Davis. What a jerkass.
Scoops McCracken:
That guy has completely run that franchise into the ground. If I was a big time player, I so would pull a John Elway or Eli Manning and say "I'm not going to Oakland" if they were about to draft me. Davis...what a character. When he was trying to tell people how bad Kiffin was as a coach, he printed up an article saying how bad he was as a coach. It was a freaking blog article. Davis had no idea; thought it was a normal media outlet.
Peoria Pliers:
I will say this about the Oakland Raiders situation right now: The Autumn Wind used be a Pirate; Blustering in from sea, with a rollicking song sweeping along, swaggering boisterously. Not anymore. Now the only face that is weather-beaten is Al Davis'...he looks like a meth billboard mixed with an aging Vegas blackjack dealer.
Scoops McCracken:
Which SEC gets picked off this weekend?
Peoria Pliers:
Well, I like the Gamecocks, who are a 2.5 point dog this weekend at Ole Miss (see my picks for the details), Vandy has a shot since they are at home against Auburn but I can't see an upset happening there considering the Tubberville Defense . I just can't see ArKansas or Kentucky winning; so I guess SC is this week's version of Obi-Wan...the only upset hope
Scoops McCracken:
We'll know more about Vandy this weekend. As will we about Texas in a few weeks.....@ Colorado, then the Red River versus Oklahoma, and then Missouri.
Peoria Pliers:
Answer me this...I REALLY wanted to take Missouri since they were only a 10.5 favorite, but the game is AT Nebraska. I'm a little worried that Pellini can out coach the rest of the Big 12 on the defensive side of the ball, so I didn't take Mizzou. Give me three reasons why I'm wrong about that.
Scoops McCracken:
1) Chase Daniel
2) Jerry Maclin
3) Chase Daniel
Nebraska's defense may be better than last year's, but they're not ready to hold down an upper-class Chase Daniel.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah, he's good. I probably should have picked Mizzou, but what difference can it make...I can't do any worse than last week. What a nightmare.
Scoops McCracken:
It was rough on everyone I think.....except Vegas.
Peoria Pliers:
Explain to me how Al Groh goes from ACC Coach of The year last year to 1-3 this year, including a 28-point loss to Duke, a 45-point loss to USC, and a 35-point loss to UConn? And Chris Long cannot be your answer.
Scoops McCracken:
It's also not like Virginia doesn't have football talent in the state either. You want the next name of a coach that's gone, it's Al Groh.
Peoria Pliers:
One year after he is coach of the year though? That’s a tough racket if that is the case. Either he shouldn't be fired or he shouldn't have been coach of the year
Scoops McCracken:
Fair point. Does UNC win the ACC this year?
Peoria Pliers:
Last week I thought they were headed for a four win season since they lost Yates at QB and the guy they replaced him with had as much heart as Mr. Burns. They replaced him in the 2nd half against a scrappy Miami team and ended up winning...and the new guy is pretty stinkin' good. Win the conference? No dice. I still think Wake and Va Tech are better teams overall, and I think Va Tech will end up winning. I'm telling you though, Hakeem Nicks is a friggen STUD. Gonna be a great steal in the 2nd or 3rd round of the draft next year. Who do you like better, A.J. Green from UGA, Julio Jones from Sabanopolis, or Michael Floyd from Irishville?
Scoops McCracken:
I think all of UGA's receivers suck, so Green's out. I'd give a slight edge to Jones because I think he's a little faster than Floyd. But they're both studs.
Peoria Pliers:
Really? Man I couldn't disagree more. I think A.J. Green is NASTY, he's got the best hands of a tall receiver since Roy Williams. Barring injury, he’s a top 10 NFL pick three years from now.
Scoops McCracken:
ALL OF UGA'S RECEIVERS SUCK! I can't stress that enough. SUCK!!!!!!!!!
Peoria Pliers:
Wow. I think you're wrong there buddy. We might just have to have that knife fight sooner than originally planned.
Scoops McCracken:
Well, don't bring a UGA receiver, because they may drop your weapon on your big toe.
Scoops McCracken:
Who's your next Vikings coach?
Peoria Pliers:
Ha. Great question. I hear Lane Kiffin is available. Maybe Tony Dungy...err, we let him get away. Oh, I know, Mike Tomin...oooohhh yeah, he got a away too. Brian Billick? That wouldn't be too bad. As long as it isn't Denny Green or Phil Fulmer I'll be happy. Last week's game officially kicked me off of the Chilly bandwagon once and for all. I was TRYING to back him up, but I just can't do it anymore. He is as effective as Mr. Burns on Ether calling the plays, and the players don't even seem like they listen to him anymore.

Scoops McCracken:
I've always been one to put more emphasis on execution than play calling, but it really is starting to get ridiculous. The thing I never understood is why we hired him in the first place. When he was the O-coordinator, he didn't even call the plays. It was still Andy Reid.
Peoria Pliers:
He was the disciplinarian. After we committed sixty-two penalties last week, I'm not sure that the title of school-marm even applies anymore. How about this name - Norm Chow.
Scoops McCracken:
Interesting name, but if you go the college ranks, you go for a coordinator? That worked out well for Oakland. I think you go an NFL coordinator or a college coach. And college coaches haven't worked out too well lately. Is Ferentz not a hot name anymore? Remember how many people were talking about him being the next NFL guy. He may be ready to jump ship in Iowa City. Whether he's the right guy is another question.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah I like Ferentz a lot, the only failing he seems to have is on the recruiting side. His teams are always disciplined and smart, which I think is a hallmark of a good coach.... but maybe he is just recruiting average athletes that were smart to begin with. I like Billick, I like Jim Fassel, I think if we could get Cowher that would be a great score
Scoops McCracken:
I think Ferentz' problems are two-fold: one, when they had success, it was because they got the under the radar guy that they coached. They then had some recruiting success after on the field success, but those guys turned into idiots off the field, so it hurt them on the field.
Scoops McCracken:
Two: Iowa made a living off of Chicago. Ron Zook has put a stop to that. Cowher will have his pick of about 10 jobs, and knowing Minnesota sports, we're not going to be the one that gets him. Peoria Pliers:
All good points. Once again, Scoops, your finger is always on the pulse of the Big Ten. As of right now, who your bottom 5 major college football coaches? Must be in a BCS conference, 5 being the 5th worst, and so on and so forth
Scoops McCracken:
1) Robinson (Syracuse)
2) Phil Fulmer
3) Mike Sherman
4) Al Groh
5) Bobby Bowden.
Kind of a hard question: for instance, I'm sure Fulmer is a good coach, but you have to kind of go what success the coach "should" be having.
Peoria Pliers:
That’s a pretty good list, but really tough on Sherman (1st year) and Al Groh (reigning ACC Coach of the Year). My list would go like this:
1. Bobby Bowden, AKA Buford T. Justice (now that Lloyd Carr is gone, nobody does less with more)
2. Phil Fulmer (again, less with more)
3. Bill Stewart (his team looked like a bunch of 5th graders trying to find a fire exit two weeks ago)
4. Greg Robinson
5. Mike Stoops

Scoops McCracken:
Good point on Stewart...he's the prime example why you shouldn't let your current players tell you to hire their current assistant.
Peoria Pliers:
OK, you wanna wrap this up? We have to leave some in the tank for next week’s games.
Scoops McCracken:
Yeah, crucial game for the Gophers. They have to win this type of game to take the next step.
Peoria Pliers:
Agreed, we will see if they can muster a good effort for a very winnable Big 10 game. Whatever happened to James Hardy, anyway?
Scoops McCracken:
2nd round pick by Buffalo, caught the winning TD versus Jacksonville in week 2. Is their #2 WR now that Roscoe Parrish is hurt behind Lee Evans.
Peoria Pliers:
Thanks. Any parting words for our readers?
Scoops McCracken:
Only 9 more days until another undefeated team (UT or OU) gets picked off from undefeated ranks. Gotta love October.
Peoria Pliers:
Definitely. October is the most generous month. Whatever that means.

Peoria Pliers' Picks [Week 6]

2008-10-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

Peoria took last week in the shorts. Embarrassing, I know. Lessons learned:
1. Nick Saban will definitely go to hell. He will almost as definitely go to the college football hall of fame. Great coach. Impressive.
2. Never name an underrated player in your picks...and then pick against his team. Thanks for the 5 catches, 133 yards, and one TD Mr. Hakeem Nicks. Thanks a lot.
3. Never, ever, EVER trust anyone wearing an ugly W on their helmet while playing in the Big House. Those are games that Lloyd Carr just doesn't win.

OK, enough of that. Time to get back on the horse to profitability corral. (Last week - 2-7, YTD - 15-17)

Penn St by 12.5 at PURDUE. I though Joe Tiller had something going in Purdue, but after watching their defense implode against an improving Irish offense, I have come to the realization that they are in full backslide mode. Curtis Painter is surrounded by a bunch of receivers that look like they belong on a low-level FIBA basketball team instead of a boliermaker football squad...slow and not quick. Penn State has been impressive in all phases of the game, and this one should be a runaway. Penn State 42, Purdue 24.

Oklahoma by 26.5 at BAYLOR. I am going to pick Oklahoma to cover every week until they fail to do so. That's all I have to say about that. Oklahoma 55, Baylor 17.

South Carolina getting 2.5 at OLE MISS. I love Houston Nutt, and I love to watch his teams run the goofiest set of plays of all time, but I think that after last weeks HUGE win in Tebowland, they are set for a mighty fall from grace. If the Gamecocks can take the crowd out of it early, I like their chances. Also, I was wondering, if you are an African American kid, why in the flying hell do you go to Mississippi to play football...their mascot is a REBEL. They might as well have a picture of Nathan Bedford Forrest on their helmets. I do wish this line was 3 instead of 2.5, but what can you do? Gamecocks 19, Ole Miss 17.

NOTRE DAME by 7 vs. Stanford. I was cornered in Northwestern Books this week by an angry nun who is also a fan of the blog while I was making my daily trip to read some of Joel Osteen's new book (I'm too cheap to pay for it). I won't go into the sordid details of what happened in that broom closet, but suffice to say that I will be picking the Irish this week. If anyone has any oxy-contin, please let me know. Also, if you know how to repair broken fingers from ruler smashes, that might be good to know for the future. Notre Dame 31, Stanford 14.

Washington getting 21.5 at ARIZONA. Come on Ty, don't fail me now! Washington has to be the best 0-4 team ever assembled. They just are not as bad as they have fared in these games. Their entire season, from the loss at BYU to the upcoming firing of Ty is just a shame. What a shame. Shame on you. If you can't have two. Watch the video. Washington 35, Arizona 38.

The OVER at 58 on the Washington/ARIZONA game. Oh, sorry, I was just trying to grow my beard out. I think the woman from Shirley and Company revived her career as the woman from Police Academy, by the way. I always like the over on these midlevel Pac-10 games. Washington 35, Arizona 38.

Ohio St by 1 at WISCONSIN. Bielma has no answer for Terelle Pryor. The problem with Wisconsin is that if they get down early the are totally screwed, and I like Terelle's chances against a lumbering set of defenders. And as I learned this week, NEVER trust anyone with that goddman W on their helmets. Ohio State 28, Wisconsin 20.

MIAMI by 2.5 vs. Florida State. In the race to Florida Relevancy, Randy Shannon is slamming the Bowdenator into the turnbuckle harder than George the Animal Steele. Marve is an emerging star, and the Miami defense is NASTY. They have had all week to regroup and learn from the way that they DONKED OFF a win against Butch Davis and the Powder Blue Picadillos, so I like Miami to win this one at home. Too bad there will be about fifteen Miami fans at the game. What a pathetic football town. Miami 17, Florida State 13.

Bonus Pick: The OVER at 66 on the Texas Tech/Kansas State game. Since I screwed the pooch so royally last week, I'm gonna throw one more pick into the mix. This one just jumped out at me, and although the Over is 2-8 in the last 10 for Texas Tech, I think BOTH of these teams can put up a bunch of points. Texas Tech 52, Kansas State 31.

Scoops' CFA Picks (brought to you by....Dr. Pepper!)

2008-10-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

What goes around, comes around in the world of football gambling. One week you’re up; the next week you’re down. Such is life. Anyway, I will try to get back to a positive dollar figure for the week with the 2nd weekend of Big Ten play and even offer up my 2nd LEAD PIPE LOCK OF THE WEEK (1-0 thus far in 2008).

Last Week: 4-6
Season: 30-25
Net Gain/Loss: + $52.00

MINNESOTA (-6.5) over Indiana: This line opened up at 8 and has moved down a bit. The bottom line is that Indiana hasn’t stopped anybody on defense this season, are going on the road for the first time, and are 0-3 versus the spread in 2008 while Minnesota played the best team & player they’ll face all season last week in Terrell Pryor, so the Kellen Lewis factor shouldn’t be as high considering the rest of the talent around the field. Add to the fact that Minnesota is 3-1 against the spread in 2008 and Brewster is 6-2-1 versus the spread in his 9 Big Ten games. As Captain Jack Ross said in his opening statement in the trial of LCpl. Harold W. Dawson and Pfc. Louden Downey, “These are the facts, and they are indisputibal.”
SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 38, INDIANA 27

Ohio State (-1.5) over WISCONSIN: Yeah, I get it that Bielema is 16-0 at Camp Randall. Yeah, I get it that it’s going to be a night game and the entire state of Wisconsin is going to be at a 6.5% BAL. I get it that Wisconsin beat Ohio State in a similar game in 2003 at night. Here’s what the Badgers don’t understand but will by the end of the night: TERRELL PRYOR. Since Tressel took over in 2001, Ohio State has had a dynamic offense only two of those years: 2005 after Troy Smith took over for Justin Zwick after the loss to Texas and the following season in 2006 when Smith won the Heisman. The Badgers did NOT face Ohio State in either of those seasons. Pryor & a healthier Beanie Wells add a complete new dimension to the Buckeye offense; one that the Badgers will be incapable of handling.
SCOOPS’ PICK: OHIO STATE 34, WISCONSIN 20

[SCOOPS’ LEAD PIPE LOCK OF THE WEEK]
MICHIGAN STATE (-8) over Iowa: Did the Spartans flex their offensive muscle last weekend or is Indiana’s defense that poor? I must defer to the Spartans’ manhandling of Notre Dame the previous week to say that Michigan State is a good football team. Javon Ringer is moving up into top-5 man crush territory, and Iowa has lost two bad games. They have 2 bad QB’s, which does NOT equal 1 average QB. Iowa looks like they may be in for a tough season.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 27, IOWA 13

Penn State (-13) over PURDUE: Purdue’s defense had a rough week against an offense that had shown no ability whatsoever up to that point. Now they welcome the SpreadHD that’s being unleashed in the Big Ten. The funny thing about the Penn State-Illinois game last weekend was that I didn’t think Illinois played that poorly. Penn State is just a 14 point better football team than Illinois. Consider that Missouri beat Illinois by a similar margin and you know what type of team you have in Penn State.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 38, PURDUE 21

Illinois (+125) over MICHIGAN: Don’t be fooled by the win over Wisconsin. Michigan has not figured it all out yet, and Illinois will give a lesson to 100,000+ people on what their offense can potentially look like in a year or 2. I like the 3 point dogs to win outright.
SCOOPS’ PICK: ILLINOIS 27, MICHIGAN 20

Missouri (-10.5) over NEBRASKA: The Chase Daniel circus comes to Lincoln, and it ain’t going to be stopped by anyone NOT named Oklahoma or Texas in the Big XII.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MISSOURI 44, NEBRASKA 20

Northern Illinois (+16) over TENNESSEE: Ah, the Gophers opening opponent finds themselves back in Scoops’ picks. The reason is I think this a nice line against a team that is just not that good. After 2 losses, the Huskies have gotten back on track including an impressive 37-0 win last weekend over Eastern Michigan. Look for the Vols to win, but the Huskies to cover.
SCOOPS’ PICK: TENNESSEE 30, NORTHERN ILLINOIS 27

SOUTHERN CAL (-16.5) over Oregon: USC read their own press clippings and got Admiral Ackbar trapped in Corvallis last Thursday. One thing about USC; they know how to respond and rarely are caught with their pants down twice in a row. Along with that, their probably the one team in college football that you don’t bet against when they are out to prove a point.
SCOOPS’ PICK: USC 38, OREGON 14

NEW MEXICO (-12) over Wyoming: All I know is that last week versus Bowling Green, Wyoming coaches threatened to replace any player that turned the ball over. They went through 4 QB’s in a 5 turnover performance that ended up in a Falcon route. Now this team is going to go on the road and cover in what is usually a house of horrors for Mountain West opponents?
SCOOPS’ PICK: NEW MEXICO 34, WYOMING 10

Ball State (-8) over TOLEDO: Ball State can light it up with the best of them, is the class of the MAC this year, and Toledo lost to freaking Florida International last weekend. Enough said!SCOOPS’ PICK: BALL STATE 45, TOLEDO 28

Quick Hitters: The Weekend that Was!

2008-09-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

A lot of crazy things this past weekend in the world of college football, including my 4-6 record, which dropped my bankroll a bit. I’m still up, but it is what it is. Here’s what comes to my mind in some quick hitters:

NOTRE DAME

It’s hard to know for sure. Am I wrong on these guys? Is Purdue not that good? I admit I didn’t watch the game after it was 14-7 as I had to take advantage of the last few weekends for golfing, but looking at the box score, this wasn’t a Michigan win where the opponent turned the ball over 5 times. Clausen threw for 275 & 3 scores, and the Irish has a running game that had some success. They had 10 minutes more of time of possession as well. Looking at their schedule, USC seems to be the only loss that is definite on their schedule. I’d favor North Carolina slightly over the Irish right now, and Pitt & Boston College could go either way (I’d slightly favor the Irish). But the Irish look like they’ll end up going 9-3. Not good enough to get them into a BCS bowl game, so that’s the good news, but if the UNC game goes their way, no reason they can’t be 10-2 and giving us all what we don’t want, which is them getting blasted in another BCS game.

You want to know why Weis may be going to another BCS game? The bottom line is that Notre Dame has eased up on their scheduling practices since the Davie regime. Notre Dame used to be so freaking arrogant that they could play such a difficult national schedule because that’s what they do. They realized that not only could they not survive it, but no team in America could survive it. Look at the 1999 schedule that Davie had to go through:

Kansas (W, 48-13) [KU was a cupcake them, so a low BCS team was their cupcake]
@ Michigan (L 26-22) [Tom Brady-led Michigan won the Orange Bowl that season]
@ Purdue (L, 28-23) [Drew Brees-led Purdue lost to Georgia in Outback Bowl, team went to Rose Bowl following season]
Michigan State (L, 23-13) [Nick Saban-led Spartans finished 10-2 with win over Florida in Citrus Bowl]
Oklahoma (W, 34-30) [Sooners won national title the next season]
Arizona State (W 48-17)
USC (W, 25-24)
Navy (W, 28-24)
@ Tennessee (L 38-14) [Defending national champs, lost to Nebraska in Fiesta Bowl]
@ Pittsburgh (W 37-27)
Boston College (L, 31-29)
@ Stanford (L, 40-37) [Pac Ten champs & Rose Bowl representative]

What an absolutely BRUTAL schedule. Swap the Oklahoma’s & Tennessee’s with Syracuse & Washington and you have 4 game swings in records.

ALABAMA

I got back from dinner after golfing, thinking I’d tune in to the 3rd & 4th quarters of the Georgia-Alabama game thinking I’d see a close game, or at least Georgia winning. What I saw made my eyes jump. Alabama up 31-3? John Parker Freaking Wilson making things happen?

The funny thing is, you look at their schedule, and if it was ever conducive to run the table in the SEC, this would be it. They are @ LSU on 11/08, but that’s the only really daunting game. Auburn is at home and the only other road game is @ Tennessee, which looks like they’ve replaced Vandy as the state of Tennessee representative of SEC punching bag. Saban is a snake oil salesman and he’d be one guy I’d want to hit a 2 x 4 over the head with after a night of drinking on Frat Row, but they guy had Michigan State turned into a high level program before he left, completely turned LSU around before he left, and looks like he’s doing the same at Alabama. The only question remains: will he settle down and remain or jump ship for some quick dollars in the future?
FLORIDA

I love it. Scoops became so vindicated when it was 31-30, Florida faced 3rd & 10 with a little over a minute left, and the only two plays that Urban Meyer could come up with were a hand off around left end to Percy Harvin and a 4th down play that consisted of Tebow trying to jam himself straight up the middle. Please mail all 2006 National Championship Rings and the Sears Crystal Football to: University of Illinois, ATTN: Ron Zook/Player Recruitment, Champaign, IL.

MINNESOTA

It was what I thought it would be. The turnovers killed them, and Ohio State is a flat out better football team than Minnesota. But I’m excited. And you know why? Because I was pretty much scared to death watching Terrell Pryor with the football in his hands. And I don’t have to see him with that against my favorite team for at least another year. I thought the OL, for as young as they are, played OK. I think the DL played well & hard, but you can see they were getting tired in the 3rd quarter. I think there is a big gap for a 2nd & 3rd WR. Ralph Spry should be on the bench. Ben Kuznia is what he is: a walk-on WR with 4.7 40 speed from rural MN. I love the direction they’re going, hope one of the freshmen WR’s can step up the 2nd half of the season, and see no reason they can’t go 4-4 in the Big Ten, or 3-5 at the worst. And it’s because they just faced the best team & player they’re going to see all season this past weekend. It’s all downhill from this point. And Kellen Lewis is a poor man’s Pryor without any weapons and no defense. This weekend is a big game for the Gophers in terms of seeing how far they’ve come.

COLORADO

I suppose I should have listened to Corso. I tried to be impressed by the OT win over West Virginia. Apparently, Florida State is a whole new ball of wax, which is odd considering how rough Florida State's offense was last week against Wake Forest, who in turn decided to lose to Navy. Anyway, I still contend that way too many Colorado players would rather play intramurals.

Friday Fisticuffs!

2008-09-26T15:13:00.000-07:00

Peoria Pliers:
First of all, we need to issue an apology to our loyal readers that we failed to put the Thursday Throwdown up on the site...again. Unfortunately, we do still have real jobs since ESPN or SI.com has inexplicably not come calling yet. Better late than never, though, right?
Peoria Pliers:
Let's begin...Whats the O/U on how many TD's Javon Ringer hangs on Indiana tomorrow?
Scoops McCracken:
Ringer....he's a doozy. The thing is that MSU's passing offense is rather ridiculous right now. But Indiana doesn't have a defense that can do anything about it, so I think the over/under should be set at 2.5. I'd take the over also, with him getting 3.
Peoria Pliers:
Javon Ringer is a STUD. I love that guy. Love him. Best thing to come out of East Lansing since Sedrick Irvin. What ever happened to that guy, anyway? Is he playing in Europe or something? He was a KILLER in college
Scoops McCracken:
All I remember about him was offering up the great quote after losing to the Gophers in 1998 "99 out of 100 times, we beat them." Not as good as Brendan Morrison's "sometimes the better team doesn't always win the game" quote after Michigan lost to Boston U in the 1997 Frozen Four, but a great one nonetheless.
Peoria Pliers:
That is a pretty good quote out of a guy who is probably bagging groceries at an Albertsons somewhere right now
Peoria Pliers:
OK, so answer me this: If Dave Wannstedt was on the cast of an 80's sitcom, what show be the best place for him to be cast, and what type of character would he be? He has that look of a great character actor that you would see in a bunch of TV shows and Movies
Scoops McCracken:
Lots of ways he can go here.....he could be the Dr. Jason Seaver on "Growing Pains," only with a mustache. He looks like a George Papadapolos on "Webster." He looks like the slimey dad Joey on "My Two Dads." He also looks like a fatherly figure for Alex P. Keaton on "Family Ties." Or perhaps the blind date for Angela in "Who's the Boss" who ends up being a boyfriend. The possibilities are endless with him.
Peoria Pliers:
I have a friend who looks exactly like the dad from Family Ties, by the way. I see Wannstdet as more of the "evil"/decietful brother of Magnum PI, or maybe even the drunkard buddy of Dan Connor on Roseanne. No matter which way you go with it, he definately has the characteritics of an awesome support cast member.
Scoops McCracken:
With USC losing last night...what does this do to the title picture? Because I still don't see an SEC team going through without a loss.Mizzou & Oklahoma don't play each other, so if Oklahoma can beat Texas, I see them being undefeated when they play in the Big XII championship. But you never know with Oklahoma, they may end up dropping one to some schlap.
Peoria Pliers:
Firstly, I don't see this Oklahoma team donking one this year. Secondly, I'm going to take the easy way out and say its WAAAYYY too early to talk about Title Game implications since I want don't want to tarnish my...ahem...spotless prognostication record
Scoops McCracken:
Yeah, but what's the fun in that. I think that's a backbreaking loss for USC. They don't get back into the top 2 after a loss like that to a team that Penn State took doggy.
Peoria Pliers:
Fair enough, but do you really think USC is going to lose another Pac-10 game? The Pac Ten is softer than a bowl of jello in the Mojave. UCLA? Oregon? Cal? C'mon, USC runs the table from here on out and then everyone forgets this transgression in Corvallis.
Scoops McCracken:
They won't, but that's the problem. Because it's soft, they'll be hurt. And USC will once again probably be the best team in the country on January 2nd, but unfortunately, they'll end up winning another Rose Bowl and not a BCS title.
Peoria Pliers:
So what you're saying is we need a playoff...
Scoops McCracken:
If there was a playoff, USC possibly would have won the title in 2002, would have in 2003, 2004, and possibly in 2006 & 2007. But USC should know this by now: don't F up on trips to places like Corvallis, Pullman or Palo Alto if you want to win a national title. Let's talk Big Ten. If Wisconsin wins but by 7 points, will they have proven anything?
Peoria Pliers:
No, they have proven nothing, not until they play Penn State or OSU, which consequently, they play the in the next three weeks. If Wisconsin comes out with a win against either PSU or OSU, I will give them a modicum of resepct. Otherwise, all they are to me is a one-sided team, and the last time I checked, P.J. Hill wasn't quite good enough to run the table in the Big 10 by himself.
Scoops McCracken:
I don't even think PJ Hill is the best back on his team. I'd give the nod to John Clay. I picked Wisconsin, but Michigan seems to have an ability of amping things up even when they're down. I think it will be an interesting game.
Peoria Pliers:
Maybe, but Wisconsin games are always slugfests, which can be good or can be just flat out boring. Their QB is crapola. He is tough to watch. He even makes Mike Teel look good. So Purdue/Irish this weekend in the battle for the one of the Shellaleighs (spell check required). Who ya got? Remember, Chuckwheat still has a "blown out" knee, so take that into consideration
Scoops McCracken:
I like Purdue, because I think Tiller knows that as long as they don't make mistakes, they should win. ND almost lost to SDSU (not the Jackrabbits), Michigan turned the ball over 5 times in Hurricane Ike's wake, and MSU handled them pretty easily.
Peoria Pliers:
Now we have some loyal readers who seem to be big Irish fans (this one's for you, Sister Helen Jean Moriarity)...what has to happen for Jimmy C to pull out the Victory in this one? Also, are you onboard the Maurice Crum bandwagon or not? I think the NBC announcers said his name during the last game more often than Kornheiser talks about Brett Farve during Monday Night Football...
Scoops McCracken:
I was on the Maurice Crum bandwagon back in 1988 when his dad was a badass stomach showing LB for the Hurricanes. I'm guessing his son is better since all football players are better now than in the past and I'll have that debate with anyone. I think Jimmy C's chances of winning are just "matriculating the ball down the field" and throwing a jump ball to Floyd in the endzone when they get inside the 20 because that seems to be the only way they can score minus a rain soaked turnover fest. Personally, I'd rather have 7 Big Ten QB's over Clausen right now (Weber, Juice, Bacher, Painter, Lewis, Pryor & Clark) Sorry if that was the Notre Dame love you wanted, but they're a freaking joke right now. And they've been that way since we were taunting the guy who was drinking wine, cheering for them in the Mandalay sports book during the 2006 Fiesta Bowl.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah, the Irish are pretty bad if you ask me. They do always have God (and by osmosis, Jesus) on their side, though, so that's usually worth a few points.
Scoops McCracken:
Well, they don't call him "Field Goal Jesus" for nothing. But even I think that Jesus turns the channel to find some sort of spread attack going on while the Irish are playing.
Peoria Pliers:
HA! By the way, did you see Sly Crooms quote the other day? When asked if he would ever run spread, he responded by saying, "I'll be dead or fired before I run Spread" gotta love that guy. On the Mississippi State front, has there ever been a more conservative coaching staff in the history of College football. Sly Croom makes Woody Hayes look like Mike Leach.
Scoops McCracken:
He runs what he wants to run....but I think he should. MSU isn't going to win in the SEC without something that can turn the table on everyone. Odds that Sly Croom stays on a 16 while the dealer is showing a 9? 97.4%
Peoria Pliers:
Can you see Sly Croom in an Austin Powers outfit, sitting at a blackjack table saying "I also like to live Dangerously..."
Scoops McCracken:
That is a sneaky underrated movie. I always get a kick out of that part, along with when #2 is showing Dr. Evil everything that they own, including a factory that makes minature models.
Peoria Pliers:
I think that dovetails very well with the miniature building in Zoolander, another sneaky good movie. Hold on a minute, I've got to run and get an Orange Mocha Frappaccino, be right back.
Scoops McCracken:
OK, coaching philosophy question, and I can't wait for the readers to offer up on this one. Two questions I've always wondered: 1) Why don't teams go for 2 more often? I figure if it could be mastered, it would be a tremendous weapon. And 2) Why don't teams go for it on 4th down more often? A Cal statistician once showed that more points are given away by teams that don't go for it.
Peoria Pliers:
Zubar15 would have an interesing take on this one, since he loves the 2-point and 4th down gambles. I think I'll leave the heavy lifting to the readers, who actually know about such things, but from my understanding, teams in the NCAA make the two-point conversion almost exactly 50% of the time, so really, the risk of not making one is minimal. As far as the statisticians from Cal, beware what they say because everything that comes out of Berkley (even statistics) are going to skew liberal. I am going to give the data to Sean Hannity and see what he comes up with before I make an assesment
Scoops McCracken:
I think it was Jim Fassel that said "let's put the stat nerd on a sideline and see what he thinks then." i think punting is more explainable, but i think teams should go for anything in the 4th & 3 or 4 range more often...or at least think about it a bit more.
Peoria Pliers:
The truth is that gambling just isn't as popular here in the states as it should be, and that bleeds into the coaching staff. If there was a bookie in the pressbox saying, "OK coach, I'll give you 2.5 to 1 on going for two to cover the juice, whadday say?" maybe we would have more exciting outcomes. It's just too bad.
Scoops McCracken:
That would be kind of hard to see. You'd then have coaches playing to only lose by a certain amount. Imagine how conservative Tressel would get then. By the same token, perhaps that would make him open it up more since he'd usually have to win by 2 TD's.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah I guess. At least Tressel did listen to the beckon call of Mr. McCracken (BTW, thanks for reading, Coach) and played T-Pry (we need to find a better nickname for him eventually) most of the game last week. We will see how good he is with Hightower chasing him down this Saturday though!!! That was sarcasm, by the way.
Scoops McCracken:
Did I ever tell you my reality TV program idea?
Scoops McCracken:
Since there's 50 different designer/chef shows on Bravo, my idea is you have a NCAA Football Playstation Dynasty competition by 20 different guys, and winner gets a 4 year contract at some obscure Sun Belt school.
Peoria Pliers:
Hmmm, don't they already have the Professional Video Gaming League? Maybe this could be their answer to the "Ultimate Fighter" deal for the UFC? And really, what does your average Sun Belt AD have to lose here? It's not an awful idea, really. What does it really take to go 3-8 in the Sun Belt?
Scoops McCracken:
Think about the publicity. More people would pay attention to UL-Monroe than they do now. The attention would be off the charts, 2nd only to my idea that Kappa Sigma should have done a philanthropy event with 100% of the proceeds going to the NRA.
Peoria Pliers:
That sounds like the plot of a Simpsons episode. I'd rather just get a soundbite of Les Miles saying, "You can have the National Championship Trophy when you pry it from my cold, dead hands" On the reality TV tip, and I fully understand that ESPN did this type of thing a few years back, I think that the next show that HAS to happen is a reality show for Football play by play and color analysts. The combo of Ron Pitts/Tony Boselli was more painful to listen to than a 2nd grade chorus concert. BRUTAL. We need some new blood, not just a bunch of washed up ex-athletes and sons of old broadcasters. I'm honestly thinking about watching all of the football games for the rest of the fall with the TV muted and having some music playing in the background.
Scoops McCracken:
The problem is that networks think they can toss any ex player in and he'll be good. For every Troy Aikman, there are 5 Tony Boselli's & Bill Maas'. Scoops' rule for broadcasting: always go with a coach over an ex-player.
Peoria Pliers:
Always. I'm convinced that my mother could do a better job than most of these guys just by being silent. Ron Pitt’s said last week that the Panthers need to “Get the Vikings off”. Wow. I’m breathless. In other news, Ron Pitt was seen living it up at a VIP lounge with Clay Aiken a few days ago…
Peoria Pliers:
In honor of the Corvalis Crackdown last night, what are your top 5 "Upset Stadiums" in the land right now. Must be a stadium of a team NOT in the top 20.

1. Texas A&M (rememer, we are ranking the Stadiums, not the teams...)
2. Washington
3. Tennessee
4. Fresno St.
5. Colorado
Scoops McCracken:
Pretty good list...I'd toss Hawaii in there as well since you'll always get a pro-Hawaii crew reffing the game. Would would win: 1941 Army (National Champions) or 2005 Minnesota (Music City Bowl participant)?
Peoria Pliers:
Hmm, well I'm sure I like the moxie of the Army squad, so they win the "Gut Check" column. Minnesota does have a few things going for them, however. Firstly the 2005 Gopher team was not segregated, so you have to figure that is a bonus for the Gophers. Also, I believe that the combined weights of Mark Setterstrom and Greg Eslinger total the entire weight of the Army D-Line that year. BUT, the Gophers did have Glen Mason coaching for them, that would probably swing the advantage to Army. I'd say Army 1941 12, Gophers 4.
Scoops McCracken:
Would Knute Rockne's forward pass be legal? That's the question.
Peoria Pliers:
Only when the offensive player could see the white's of their opponents eyes. Otherwise, no.
On another tip, when did coaches stop calling their players "Men". That has such a great ring to it. Now they call them "Great Kids". Come on. Call 'em Men for godsakes. It sounds so much more regal.
Scoops McCracken:
I'm more upset that I haven't had a chance to kick a 35 yard FG during halftime of the Dr. Pepper SEC championship game for 1 Million.
Peoria Pliers:
The real question is, if you were selected, would you go Rich Karlis and rock the shoeless kicking style? You got anything else?
Scoops McCracken:
No...I'm just glad that Big Ten season is getting going. I think it's going to be interesting to see if the Gophers are ready to be competitive at all. "Lose small" is the goal in year 2 of a rebuild. I'm also interested to see Wisconsin along with Penn State.
Peoria Pliers:
I think that the Gopher game might be closer than people think, if for no other reason than the fact that it has to be nearly impossible for Ohio State to get up for a matchup against the Gophers.
Scoops McCracken:
Bottom line is that OSU has not been impressive thus far, and even if they have Beanie back, you can't imagine that he'll be in 100% game shape. Lots of questions to be answered.
Peoria Pliers:
True enough. I can't wait for a good weekend of college football instead of the crapfest last weekend. Any parting shots?
Scoops McCracken:
Win or lose, I don't punch a clock in Ohio.
Peoria Pliers:

Awesome. Enjoy the games everybody!!

SCOOPS' QUICK PICKS: WEEK 5

2008-09-25T12:29:00.000-07:00

Last week: 6-8

Weekly Money: -$27

Overall: 26-19

Overall Take: +$78

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Scoops' picks are quick, short, and to the point this week. If you're looking for no non-sense hard hitting humor, you'll have to tune in next week. However, Scoops wants to be on the record for his weekly picks.

Minnesota (+18) over OHIO STATE: OSU is 0-3 versus the spread. Beanie isn't in game shape yet, Pryor will make plays, but is still a true frosh.

SCOOPS' PICK: OHIO STATE 31, MINNESOTA 17

Wisconsin (-6) over MICHIGAN: Wisconsin is better, and will get it done on the road.

SCOOPS' PICK: WISCONSIN 27, MICHIGAN 17

PENN STATE (-14.5) over Illinois: PSU's offensive show keeps rolling. An impressive 3-0 ATS keeps on as well.

SCOOPS' PICK: PENN STATE 45, ILLINOIS 24

Michigan State (-8) over INDIANA: Michigan State will grind out another Javon Ringer performance for the road victory.

SCOOPS' PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 26, INDIANA 13

Northwestern (+9) over IOWA: Iowa's offensive isn't good enough to cover 9 points, especially with the way the 'cats' defense is playing.

SCOOPS' PICK: IOWA 20, NORTHWESTERN 17

Purdue (+1.5) over NOTRE DAME: Purdue's offense is better than Michigan's and won't provide 5 turnovers.

SCOOPS' PICK: PURDUE 24, NOTRE DAME 14

GEORGIA (-6) over Alabama: Impressive win out west for the dogs. Alabama had 10 games within 7 points last year, which scares me, but like every game thus far, the 'dogs are on a mission, and it ain't going to Bama that takes this train off the tracks.

SCOOPS' PICK: GEORGIA 24, ALABAMA 14

Colorado (+6) over FLORIDA STATE: FSU's offense is awful, and the Buffs are coming off a nice win over West Virginia. Colorado takes it outright. No money line, just straight.

SCOOPS' PICK: COLORADO 20, FLORIDA STATE 17

Bowling Green (-3) over WYOMING: Bowling Green is 1-2, but the combined records of the teams that they've lost to is 9-1.

SCOOPS' PICK: BOWLING GREEN 38, WYOMING 20

AUBURN (-6) over Tennessee: Tennessee is bad, and they were embarassed by the Gators last week. I think Auburn is able to bounce back from last week's tough loss to LSU.

SCOOPS' PICK: AUBURN 24, TENNESSEE 7

Pliers' Week 4 Picks [9/24/2008)

2008-09-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

Pliers took more of a beating than the Texas Tech...uhh...Bell? (see video below), going 3-4. My week was so full of B.S. that I didn't even realize I only made 7 picks. It's time to get back on the gravy train this week, and hopefully these matchups will do the trick. (Last week - 3-4, YTD - 13-10)

Wisconsin by 6 at MICHIGAN. I love the Wisconsin O-Line, and even though this one is at the Big House, I still like the BAD-gers to win by at least 10. BAD-gers 24, Michigan 13.

AUBURN by 6 vs. Tennessee. The Vols are nothing more than a bad football team. They can't do anything right, and the crowd at Auburn ain't gonna make it any easier. Now, if Auburn could just score some points.... Anyway, it doesn't matter, since the Phil Fulmer's team has officially reached Tail Spin mode. Auburn 24, Tennessee 10.

Purdue getting 2 at NOTRE DAME. It seems that each week I come on here ripping Chuckwheat and the poor state of Irish Football. This week is no different. Remember, this is the same team that barely beat the Aztecs of San Diego State and needed 5 fumbles to beat Michigan.

OKLAHOMA by 17.5 vs. Texas Christian. Stoopsie has his best team in years, and TCU is just not that good. Plus, the last time these teams met, the Horned Frogs pulled the upset, so look for OU to come out with their guns blazin'. The monster Sooner O-Line steamrolls the relatively diminutive TCU front 7, and Sam Bradford (who was inexplicably left off the USA Ryder Cup team this past week) takes his frustrations out and goes 28-34 for 460 yards and 4 TDs...and then sits down for the 4th quarter. Oklahoma 50, TCU 21.

Troy getting 17 at OKLAHOMA ST. Wow, this is a huge line. 17? Honestly? The Cowboys beat bad Washington State team and then a powder puff or two, but Troy is pretty goddamn good at football. They always have a few NFL draft picks on their team, but despite their lack of depth, they will keep this one close. If this game is in Troy, I'd take the Trojans straight up. Oklahoma State 38, Troy 31.

The UNDER at 39 on the LSU/Mississippi State game. Have you seen these two teams play? The only way the over comes through is if the defenses outscore the offenses...which is a VERY REAL possibility. This game might actually be LESS thrilling than the St. Thomas/St. Olaf bout a few weeks ago. I've never taken an under below 40 on a college football game before, but if there was ever a time to do it, this is it. These offenses are more pathetic than Clay Aiken's homosexuality "secret". Thanks for letting the public know, Clay, we would have never suspected you were a homo. LSU 17, Mississippi St 6.

Fresno St. by 6.5 at UCLA. Who made this line? Did John Wooden put a few million on UCLA to make the oddsmakers shift? Wow. The ONLY thing that UCLA has going in this matchup is that Neuheisel and his staff are better (albeit by a small margin) than Pat Hill and his gang of renegades. Doesn't matter. Brandstater throws for over 400 yards and the Bulldogs send the Bruins reeling even further with their 3rd loss in a row. Oh, and that win against UT in the opener? Doesn't seem to mean much now, does it? Fresno 34, UCLA 17.

MIAMI by 7.5 vs. North Carolina. This is an cool matchup since you have Butch Davis returning to Miami. The good news for UNC? They have one of the most underrated Wideouts in the nation (Hakeem Nicks) and they are amazingly disciplined for a team from North Carolina. The bad news? Their starting QB is hurt, leaving a guy named Paulus (never a good sign) at the helm, who has completed a whopping 33% of his passes. He is currently 3-9 with two INTs and no TDs. Ouch. The Miami defense is going to get after that kid early and often. This year's Miami team is kind of like the badass Tri-Lambdas from Revenge of the Nerds...with Randy Shannon playing the leader of the fraternity. Miami wins this one BIG, but then probably donks one off to a mediocre Florida St. team next week. Miami 31, UNC 10.

BONUS PICK:
Since I only made 7 picks last week, I thought I'd make amends with an extra pick this week.
The UNDER at 48.5 on the MARYLAND/Clemson game. The under is 7-1 the last 8 years on the UMD/Clemson games. Note to the Maryland defense: YOU MUST DEFEND THIS HOUSE!!! Maryland 21, Clemson 24.

Point-Counterpoint - Sweet Lou Farrakhan

2008-09-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

Last week's interview with the deceased Jimmy the Greek produced more fan mail than Scoops and Pliers could handle, so after a briefing with our strategic board of advisers, it was determined that the next logical step was to provide a point-counterpoint discussion on the "High-Thighs" comments posted on the blog. After much discussion, the board settled on the only logical choice for such a counterpoint, and a phone call to the publicist of Louis "Sweet Lou" Farrakhan. He was engaged with Peoria Pliers less than three hours later. This is the transcript of that conversation.

Peoria Pliers: Reverend...err, Minister...uhh...Mr. Farrakhan, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down with us this afternoon, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to grant us this interview on such short notice, given your considerable speaking schedule.

Sweet Lou: It is no problem at all, my undignified brother. After reading the comments of the evil, albeit deceased, Jimmy the Greek, Allah flowed through my blood and directed me to come on board and fight these charges put forth by angry white men on the behalf of angry black men everywhere. And thus, here I am.

Peoria Pliers: Awesome. I think I feel the spirit already. Anyway, how does it make you feel that one of the most distinguished and expired sports bettors of all time still believes that race plays such a huge part in the success of the college football athlete, particularly in the "Durrty-Durrty", AKA the Deep South?

Sweet Lou: Frankly, Peoria, it hurts me, much like Cain was hurt that his sacrifice was not accepted. And that cuts deep. This whole business about "high thighs" and back muscles seems to be another cog in the Rube Goldberg-esqe machinery of the White Man's Lies. By the way, I have a book coming out in a few weeks. Did I mention that?

Peoria Pliers: A book huh? That's great. Let's get back to the subject at hand. Given Jimmy's comments, in general, do you feel that college football ends up being a positive experience for these kids from the rural south, or is it just another way for the "Old SEC Boys Club" to subjugate the poor and athletic in a Roman Colosseum type environment (see: Athens, GA or Auburn, AL)?

Sweet Lou: Yeah, my book is going to be great, unless you are a Christian, then you will probably hate it. Or Jewish. You will probably hate it too. But if you are white....err...well, you would probably hate it also. Otherwise, it's gonna be great! Your readers can pick it up at any local bookstore that specializes in extremest Muslim texts...

Peoria Pliers: OK Mr. Farrakhan, we told your publicist no plugs, that is enough. Please answer the question.

Sweet Lou: Oh yeah, sorry. It just makes me so fired up that our young brothers and sisters are out there not buying my books. Umm, OK, where were we? The rural south. My book touches on this a little bit. Essentially, the SEC is nothing more than a modernized plantation. Instead of Cotton, there are BCS games. Instead of indentured servants, there are college kids. Sure, they get a free education and a chance to escape the harsh realities of life in rural south, but that doesn't make it right that stadiums are packed full of rabid football fans every weekend. It's more of an abomination than eating swine, that's all I can say, and it is probably Dick Cheney's fault. Or George W. Bush. One of the two. But let's get back to my book...

Peoria Pliers: Enough about the book, please. Are you seriously saying that the SEC is modernized slavery and that all college kids playing in the SEC, regardless of their race, are victims of some policy put forth by the current presidential administration? Seriously?

Sweet Lou: Hey, whatever sells my book, man. Ohhh, wait. Was the microphone on there? I didn't mean to say that out loud. This is kind of like that part in Austin Powers where he says what he is thinking out loud. Damnit, I did it again. Ummm, yeah. Hang on, my publicist is calling...[muffled speech]....[muffled speech]... OK, sorry Mr. Pliers, it seems that, uhh, my publicist says that this interview is unfortunately going to have to come to an end...thanks for having me on. I really enjoyed our talk about the welfare system.

Peoria Pliers: We didn't talk about the welfare system. This was about college football in the south.

Sweet Lou: Oh yeah. Whatever. Did I mention I have a book coming out next week?

Peoria Pliers: That will be all, Mr. Farrakhan. Assalaamu 'Aleykum.

Friday Celebrity 4th Quarter: JIMMY THE GREEK

2008-09-19T08:44:00.001-07:00

As a new feature to the blog, we’re going to have a one-on-one interview with a great individual that fits the mold of what Scoops & Pliers are looking for. In this week’s “Friday Celebrity 4th Quarter,” Scoops had a chat with the legendary sports prognosticator Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder.

Scoops McCracken: I feel like I’m in the presence of a legend. Do you know that you pretty much are responsible for promoting the wonderful world of football gambling?
Jimmy The Greek: I don’t know about that. It wasn’t so much football gambling that I loved as much as it was gambling in general. You have to remember, my greatest wager was getting 17:1 odds and picking Harry Truman to defeat Thomas Dewey for the 1948 presidency. I put down $10K on that badboy and was able to turn that one into a winner.
Scoops McCracken: I was a youngster growing up when I watched you in your later years on “The NFL Today on CBS.” That was my first dose of the Greek, with Musberger & Irv Cross. But what I remember most of all is that you were wrong more often than you were right. What gave?
Jimmy The Greek: I don’t know the exact statistics, but it was a bit different from television to being in the sports book. I never gave the spreads while broadcasting on television, therefore I sometimes was going a different way than what I was picking. And Television, even back then was a whole different animal.
Scoops McCracken: Talk about the statement you made that got you fired from CBS. I will quote it directly:

“The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.”

Jimmy The Greek: I was speaking my opinion of what I’ve based some experience upon. I also said that that whites were holding on to coaching jobs because, with blacks dominating the playing fields, management was the only role left for them. I also said that young black athletes work harder than their white counterparts and that is the reason why certain proportions exist of who’s who.
Scoops McCracken: What are your opinion thus far of the college football season?
Jimmy The Greek: I like LSU because their thighs are much bigger and they’ve been bred for this type of southern domination since the 1800s.
Scoops McCracken: Do you like being called “The Greek?”
Jimmy The Greek: I don’t mind it. Musberger was the one that called me that or sometimes just “Greek” so it kind of stuck and I ran with it. I got no problem. It’s a bit easier than Dimetrios.
Scoops McCracken: What have you been up to lately?

Jimmy The Greek: Well, I died in 1996 of a heart attack. When I finally passed through the gates after promising I’d give them a few points off of a few teasers, I was troubled to find that Pete Axthelm already had the market cornered in terms of football wagering, so I had to become a bit innovative. I gave better odds, lower commission takes, and opened up a wider variety of potential wagers to the people here so I was able to capitalize on that. Little known secret is that I convinced Jesus to throw in a "Noonan" during Gary Anderson's potential game winning kick in the 1999 NFC Championship game. I cleaned everybody out after that one. I drove Ax out of business and now he’s shooting birds near the airport. I’ve done allright for myself. I got no complaints, other than I wish I had nice big thick thighs so I could jump higher & run faster.

Thursday Throwdown Chat Transcript (09/18/08)

2008-09-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

Scoops McCracken: Pliers, my good man. I want your opinion of Jim Tressel and if it changed over the past 7 days.
Peoria Pliers: Ahoy hoy, Scoops! Smashing to see you again today. My opinion of Tressel? Other than the fact that he looks like a pedophile on the sidelines because of those god awful Transition lenses, I still think he is a good man and a solid coach. If anyone was exposed this weekend it was the copious amount of football talent oozing out of the state of California
Scoops McCracken: See, I see him in a different light now. I think that 2002 was the perfect storm; a season with that kind of luck will never happen again. But he keeps sticking to that model and thinking that it can. He'll never beat USC with the way he's coaching now. You can't honestly tell me that the talent is THAT much better on the USC sidelines than it is on Ohio State's. Mandel brought up a good point about how USC seems so much looser than everybody, and their constantly having so much fun Ohio State? It seems like it's a chore to play football for them. It seems like they have zero fun and they're only playing for all the hunyucks for "Buckeye Nation." They're bringing in all the pressure in these big games in the bowls or against USC. And they can't handle it. Not only can they not handle it, they flat out gage. They jump out to the lead in all of them, and the opponent just starts doing anything they want to them. And OSU does nothing to change it. They stick with it. I'm all for doing what you do best the most, but what they've done clearly isn't working against an SEC heavyweight or USC.
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough, but if you make that argument, then who do you replace him with? Who is better than Jim Tressel? Honestly? I mean I LOVE Pete Carroll, and he is clearly the perfect personality and talent for the college game. But to say that these couple losses are an indictment of his ability is maybe a little far reaching. And lets not forget that OSU has stomped all over the Big 10 lately, which isn't easy to do
Scoops McCracken: It all depends what is satisfying to Buckeye fans and their university. If they're fine with being one of the top 2 in the Big Ten throughout, then they're just fine. But they have to become more aggressive if they want to win national titles if that's their goal. Obviously, I think Lane Kiffin will be the perfect fit for being their offensive coordinator as soon as he's canned from the Raiders
Peoria Pliers: Man, you've already got a replacement? Wow. You really think Tressell is that bad??
Scoops McCracken: Tressel-ball can win in the Big Ten, but the conservative nature won't get it done on a national stage. I think Pryor is a step in the right direction. And I said Kiffin for O-coordinator, not for Head Coach. A head man? I don't have a name for you. Carroll ain't going anywhere, but I'm sure an Urban Meyer would listen
Peoria Pliers: OK, first of all, if Urban Meyer turns Buckeye, I'm selling all of my possessions and giving the money to the Wolverine Booster club. Secondly, I like the new O-coordinator idea. that might not be a bad idea. To me, however, the real story here is how amazing the talent is at Trojan Stadium, year in and year out.
Scoops McCracken: Why not? From Ohio, played at Cincinnati and got his masters from OSU. A former grad assistant. He has more ties to OSU than Florida. But you're right, they lose a QB and simply enter in a new one. Palmer to Leinert to Booty to Sanchez. Mitch Mustain, who started at Arkansas as a true freshmen when they went to the SEC championship, is their freaking 3rd stringer right now. As long as they keep playing Boeckman, I think OSU gets nipped once or twice in the Big Ten this year. And please don't figure out that Pryor is the man until after next week when the Gophers visit C-Bus.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah that's fine, but I just friggen hate the guy. He spits in the face of the great tradition at OSU (as long as we forget about the John Cooper years). AndPryor might be the man, but he is still 18 years old and not the ultimate savior.
Scoops McCracken: Well, they ain't winning a national title this year, so why not let him take over?
Peoria Pliers: Wow. I have no resposne to that. Anyway, lets move on. If you are a WV Mountaineer fan, are you legitamately worried about the total collapse of your entire football program? They have looked like crap lately, and their niche offense has become the standard, so part of their advantage is gone. What gives?
Scoops McCracken: That's why I fear what Michigan can become in 3 years. West Virginia with better talent. They'll go down a little, but they'll always have a piece of Big East football. I doubt they'll be BCS winner worthy for a while though.
Peoria Pliers: OK, so am I the only person who thinks Pat White is REALLY overrated then?
Scoops McCracken: I think he's the perfect running QB for a spread running system. I think people who try to talk about him as a dual threat passer are talking out of their ass.
Peoria Pliers: So here comes my tpyical question since I wish I had Mel Kiper's job...where does he go (if anywhere) in the NFL draft next April?
Scoops McCracken: Maybe 4th or 5th round....no reason he couldn't be an Antwaan Randel-El, but he shouldn't go on the 1st day.
Peoria Pliers: He seems amazingly frail to me, but I could see him turning into a punt returner at some point. I'd say sixth or seventh round to someone like Denver
Scoops McCracken: Either that or WAAAAAY to early to some team that sucks trying to make a splash, like the Raiders or the Falcons in the 2nd round.
Who are your top 5 man-crushes in college football right now? Mine:
1) Todd Reesing
2) Tramaine Brock
3) Chase Daniel
4) Joe McKnight
5) Trindon Holliday
Peoria Pliers: Hmm. That is an interesting question. Very interesting.
1) Chase Daniel
2) Paul Johnson
3) The local South Bend Twinkie salesman now that ChuckWheat blew out his knee
4) Sam Bradford
5) Percy Harvin
Scoops McCracken: Does Auburn score more than 13 points this weekend versus LSU?
Peoria Pliers: I really want to say no, but I can't. They will probably return a punt for a TD or something, and that will push them to 17. The question I have about that game is this: will you be able to stay awake watching the entire game?
Scoops McCracken: If somebody enjoys watching fast southern Afro-Americans run around like heat-seeking missles on the defensive side of the ball, then it's a yes. If they're there to watch offense? Asleep by midway through the 2nd quarter.
Peoria Pliers: Speaking of sleeping through a football game, did you catch the Louisville/K-State game on ESPN last night? Lou Holtz sounded like Grandpa Simpson doing commentary. I kept waiting for him to start yelling "THE SWEDISH ARE COMING!!! TAKE COVER!! THE SWEDISH ARE COMING!!" or start talking about "Victory Cabbage...that's what we called Cole Slaw during WWII" He has officially entered Ed McMahon territory.
Scoops McCracken: We'll have to have a saulte to Lou Holtz coachspeak later this year
Peoria Pliers: I feel like we are going to be doing a 21-gun salute as we watch his casket dip into the soil any minute. He's like a mix of Trev Alberts (nonsensical football comments), Digger Phelps (undying loyalty to the Irish in the face of being a national correspondent) and the Crypt Keeper right now
Scoops McCracken: Difference between him & Alberts though is that he (Holtz) actually knows football. Alberts was garbage.
Peoria Pliers: True, but honestly, Lou doesn't even know what he is saying half the time anymore