Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Peoria Pliers' Picks [Week 6]

Peoria took last week in the shorts. Embarrassing, I know. Lessons learned:
1. Nick Saban will definitely go to hell. He will almost as definitely go to the college football hall of fame. Great coach. Impressive.
2. Never name an underrated player in your picks...and then pick against his team. Thanks for the 5 catches, 133 yards, and one TD Mr. Hakeem Nicks. Thanks a lot.
3. Never, ever, EVER trust anyone wearing an ugly W on their helmet while playing in the Big House. Those are games that Lloyd Carr just doesn't win.

OK, enough of that. Time to get back on the horse to profitability corral. (Last week - 2-7, YTD - 15-17)

Penn St by 12.5 at PURDUE. I though Joe Tiller had something going in Purdue, but after watching their defense implode against an improving Irish offense, I have come to the realization that they are in full backslide mode. Curtis Painter is surrounded by a bunch of receivers that look like they belong on a low-level FIBA basketball team instead of a boliermaker football squad...slow and not quick. Penn State has been impressive in all phases of the game, and this one should be a runaway. Penn State 42, Purdue 24.

Oklahoma by 26.5 at BAYLOR. I am going to pick Oklahoma to cover every week until they fail to do so. That's all I have to say about that. Oklahoma 55, Baylor 17.

South Carolina getting 2.5 at OLE MISS. I love Houston Nutt, and I love to watch his teams run the goofiest set of plays of all time, but I think that after last weeks HUGE win in Tebowland, they are set for a mighty fall from grace. If the Gamecocks can take the crowd out of it early, I like their chances. Also, I was wondering, if you are an African American kid, why in the flying hell do you go to Mississippi to play football...their mascot is a REBEL. They might as well have a picture of Nathan Bedford Forrest on their helmets. I do wish this line was 3 instead of 2.5, but what can you do? Gamecocks 19, Ole Miss 17.



NOTRE DAME by 7 vs. Stanford. I was cornered in Northwestern Books this week by an angry nun who is also a fan of the blog while I was making my daily trip to read some of Joel Osteen's new book (I'm too cheap to pay for it). I won't go into the sordid details of what happened in that broom closet, but suffice to say that I will be picking the Irish this week. If anyone has any oxy-contin, please let me know. Also, if you know how to repair broken fingers from ruler smashes, that might be good to know for the future. Notre Dame 31, Stanford 14.

Washington getting 21.5 at ARIZONA. Come on Ty, don't fail me now! Washington has to be the best 0-4 team ever assembled. They just are not as bad as they have fared in these games. Their entire season, from the loss at BYU to the upcoming firing of Ty is just a shame. What a shame. Shame on you. If you can't have two. Watch the video. Washington 35, Arizona 38.



The OVER at 58 on the Washington/ARIZONA game. Oh, sorry, I was just trying to grow my beard out. I think the woman from Shirley and Company revived her career as the woman from Police Academy, by the way. I always like the over on these midlevel Pac-10 games. Washington 35, Arizona 38.

Ohio St by 1 at WISCONSIN. Bielma has no answer for Terelle Pryor. The problem with Wisconsin is that if they get down early the are totally screwed, and I like Terelle's chances against a lumbering set of defenders. And as I learned this week, NEVER trust anyone with that goddman W on their helmets. Ohio State 28, Wisconsin 20.

MIAMI by 2.5 vs. Florida State. In the race to Florida Relevancy, Randy Shannon is slamming the Bowdenator into the turnbuckle harder than George the Animal Steele. Marve is an emerging star, and the Miami defense is NASTY. They have had all week to regroup and learn from the way that they DONKED OFF a win against Butch Davis and the Powder Blue Picadillos, so I like Miami to win this one at home. Too bad there will be about fifteen Miami fans at the game. What a pathetic football town. Miami 17, Florida State 13.


Bonus Pick: The OVER at 66 on the Texas Tech/Kansas State game. Since I screwed the pooch so royally last week, I'm gonna throw one more pick into the mix. This one just jumped out at me, and although the Over is 2-8 in the last 10 for Texas Tech, I think BOTH of these teams can put up a bunch of points. Texas Tech 52, Kansas State 31.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

If my grandpappy was still alive he would say you have made some excellent picks.

Anonymous said...

PP- Nick Saban may have to spend several years in purgatory coaching for the Gophers in a perpetual Motor City Bowl loss.

On another note- I enjoyed our visit at Northwestern- you are much younger looking and more handsome (in a celibate sense) than I imagined. God Bless You and your weekly picks. Remember God can always "bail you out"!

Did you get my picture?

Peoria "Pliers" Peterson said...

Sister Helen Jean Moriarity,

Yes, we did receive your picture, although I must say that you have really let yourself go. Not that I didn't enjoy some of our encouter, but please, for the love of god, shave your armpits. Shaving isn't a sin, is it?

My god bless your razor.

Pliers