Thursday Throwown...posted on Friday...but still... 11/13/08

Scoops McCracken: Throwdown, Bitch!

Peoria Pliers: So I have to hear your opinion on the murder of the LSU or Alabama fan...what's Scoops' take? Does that type of stuff fly in your world? Just "boys being boys" or what?

Scoops McCracken: I saw that. Honestly, as much as I love college football, they take it to a new level down there and WAY to f-ing seriously. My brother was in town last weekend from Birmingham and all he could do was keep himself glued to Verne Lundquist calling the game.I see the guy twice a year, and he didn't say a word only wanting to watch Bama & LSU. And those are two of the "special" fan bases, if you get what I'm saying. I'd have to go to wikipedia to see if either university has produced anything of substance other than a defensive back, linebacker or defensive lineman.

Peoria Pliers: I think there are more than a few decorated members of the Klan from Alabama, so that's something

Scoops McCracken: But at least I know that I need to pack a glock if I go to a bowl game involving an SEC team in the near future.

Peoria Pliers: No, I think you would be fine. You still have all your teeth...that's how they know you are a Yankee and a non-entity to them.

Scoops McCracken: What I was surprised at was: didn't it start with a phone call and giving shit to each other? I'm surprised they had phone lines that worked. I figured the pony express would have had to relay messages back & forth.

Peoria Pliers: Well I hear that the Pony Express is having trouble, and with the increased costs of Aluminum these days, they couldn't afford to string two cans together. The phone was a logical choice, but I believe one of them was quoted as saying that they were afraid of the "Devil's Scream" when it rang. If I was the judge, I'd make the accused have to get season tickets to a MAC school and attend every game for 20 years so they then understand that it's just a game. And they have to show up for all games, including the Wednesday night game on the deuce.

Peoria Pliers: So here is the new slogan: SEC Football. When you got nothin' else to live for.
Scoops McCracken: It does make me hate the school more and appreciate schools like Texas & USC. I'm not naive; I know that half of their players get special treatment and aren't the normal student-athletes, but at least the institution actually enrolls other students who's only goal isn't just to come back 7 or 8 times in the fall and be an idiot. And the question is: these people probably have no relation to the university. They probably went to Beaver Creek Community College. They're very similar to Vikings fans. Hate life 6 days of the week and only live for home games so they can become an idiot and release themselves from their awful, awful lives. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Peoria Pliers: Good stuff, Forrest Gump.

Scoops McCracken: Question: Could you & I step in on the Gophers OL and not do any worse than some of the guys right now?

Peoria Pliers: Well I'm convinced that I could step in for Ryan Cook and do as good of a job as he is doing, so sure, I think that we would be commensurately bad as Gopher O-Lineman. So what's the problem with their line? Youth?

Scoops McCracken: Mostly youth. And still philosophy. None of the OL is a Brewster recruit, so they're still in the Mason/Gordy Shaw mold of being undersized. They'll get pushed back and will struggle with pass blocking. Plus, I don't know if they're that talented in the first place. There's three OL coming in next year that are 3* and they have a good shot at a stud from Phoenix area named Taylor Lewan.

Peoria Pliers: They signed some good kids this week...it doesnt look like they are going to have as star-studded a class this year as they did last year, but they look real solid

Scoops McCracken: None of their recruits last year were OL. They should be getting Rozelle Gayden, who was a greyshirt this year, from JUCO. And they add Carufel, the transfer from Notre Dame next year, who by all accounts, would be playing every single snap if he was allowed to. They have a very solid list thus far. Mason's classes were mostly 2 & some 3 stars....Brewster's is mostly 3 and some 4's.

Peoria Pliers: Out of respect for our readers, who couldn't give two shakes of a lamb's wang about the Gophers, I'll make this the last question about them...what do you think the odds are of T-Brew landing the house OL from Cretin next year?

Scoops McCracken: About 35-40%.....if USC comes calling, it will be hard for Brewster to get him. But Vince Young was a LSU & FSU lean until Mack Brown & Brewster closed on him, so you never know. But I'd put it at less than 50%. Kind of a slow week of games this week.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah, not too many exciting games...Arizona/Oregon might be a decent watch. You know who we haven't talked about much lately that deserves some pub? Dave Wannstedt

Scoops McCracken: He has turned it around. Are they in the drivers seat for the BCS berth or is it someone else. I must admit I don't follow the Big East.

Peoria Pliers: I believe they are, they are on something like an 8 game winning streak, thanks in most part to their stud RB

Scoops McCracken: They lost to Rutgers a few weeks ago, so I don't know if it's 8 games, but they did beat Iowa, which is looking better & better each week.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah it looks like they are fighting with Cincy for the top spot. What happened to South Florida this year? They were supposed to be all-world?

Scoops McCracken: Their QB has a chubby face....just like Georgia's.....no team can be all-world with a chubby faced QB.

Peoria Pliers: Ouch. Too bad for Grothe. I mean he does have a mohawk..doesn't that offset the chubby face?

Scoops McCracken: I'm more of a flat top fan than a mohawk. That way, teams can have a guy nicknamed "Flat Top" like in Necessary Roughness.

Peoria Pliers: I think that there should be some sort of nickname committee on every college football team comprised of one guy from each class, the special teams coach, and perhaps one of the stadium announcers. Kind of like Delta house

Scoops McCracken: I was reading on NFL Draft Countdown and they had Graham Harrell not as high. Call me crazy, but the NFL is so defunct of accurate QB's.....wouldn't he make a lot of sense for a team? I hearken back to Drew Brees. "Ah....he's a system QB. And he's not super tall." Yeah, but he can throw the ball where he wants to. At what point are some of the NFL personnel guys going to realize somethings.

Peoria Pliers: It's funny you say that...Zubar and I were talking about how important accuracy is in the NFL these days, as long as you don’t have a "puss arm"
Scoops McCracken: I totally am on the Graham Harrell bandwagon, just like Chase Daniel. These guys are going to go way too late and they'll have nice long careers.

Peoria Pliers: By the way, I think Jaworski is on the accuracy bandwagon as well. How tall is Harrell?

Scoops McCracken: I just pulled his recruiting class info.....he was a 4*, 6'2", 183 (obviously his high school size)

Scoops McCracken: I'm guessing his height hasn't changed too much since.

Peoria Pliers: 6'2" is plenty tall for the NFL if you ask me. It's tough to blame the NFL guys for being weary considering the irrelevancy of Kingsbury et. al.

Scoops McCracken: According to Wikipedia, he's 6'3" & 205 now. No, I get that...guys like Kingsbury & Sonnie Cumbie & B.J. Symons were system guys. But Harrell is different. He's been running this show for 3 years now. He wasn't just plugged in as the 1 year system runner. And the bottom line is that there are not that many typical NFL prototype QB's anymore in college. I think the system QB's will have to get a longer look now.

Peoria Pliers: Jaworski claimed that the Arena and Canadian leagues were going to be more important in the upbringing of QBs to the NFL since the spread has...well...spread. Your thoughts? It did work for Kurt Warner.

Scoops McCracken: I think the Arena league will because of the tightness....don't know as much regarding the CFL. The field is so damn big; lots of guys can succeed there. Ricky Foggie was a super-duper star in the CFL. But I can see the arena league being good, considering the timing that has to occur. What do you think?

Peoria Pliers: I'm not so sold on that since you can succeed in the arena with the aforementioned "puss arm"

Scoops McCracken: It obviously doesn't hold true for everyone. You still have to have the cannon that can throw the ball vertically and the ball to the sidelines in the NFL. But I'm a Harrell guy. Next week will be a good one with Tech & Oklahoma.

Peoria Pliers: with a few notable exceptions, of course (Phillip Rivers). I do think that arm strength is a bit overrated though. That is going to be a GREAT game, it's the #1 reason that I'm NOT going to the Gopher/Iowa game

Scoops McCracken: Did you read Mandel's mailbag this week? He was saying how it's going to be very difficult for Texas to get to the Big XII title game because Tech controls its destiny, and if Oklahoma wins, they'll probably win the tie-breaker with a higher BCS ranking. And if Oklahoma State beats Oklahoma after Tech loses to Oklahoma, Tech would still win the tie-breaker over Texas. All because of a backdoor fade with 1 second left! I love college football and how 1 play can change everything for lots of teams.

Peoria Pliers: Wow, what a kick in the nuts. Think of how great this would be...if we had a very simple 8-team playoff here are the teams involved: Alabama, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Florida, Texas, USC, and either Penn State, Utah, Georgia, or Boise St. Tell me that wouldn’t be friggen awesome.

Scoops McCracken: 8 team, each with a conference representative and two at larges with preference given to Notre Dame or one of the non-BCS teams if their ranking is over a specific #.

Peoria Pliers: I was basing my list off of the BCS standings

Scoops McCracken: They say to have those all be bowl games, but my idea would be the first round is at the higher seeded team with at least 10,000 tickets automatically given to the visitor. Seeing USC travel to the Swamp? Oh my Lord!

Peoria Pliers: That would be sweet, although travel arragements on a week's notice would be very difficult for 10,000 people

Scoops McCracken: Somehow, NCAA basketball fans find a way to do it.

Peoria Pliers: That is a dream scenario. I wouldn't even mind if it were neutral sites, but at this poit ANYTHING is better than what we have

Scoops McCracken: I want to see an SEC team travel to the Horseshoe when Ohio State is a top 2 team!

Peoria Pliers: That is true, although for the most part, teams are seeded in regional areas that are typically close. That would be great to see. Or to see Penn State march into Alabama with their all-white uniforms. Awesome

Scoops McCracken: I think people would find a way. And what tickets aren't sold go back to the the host. That would create some incentive for the visiting fans.
Peoria Pliers: Good point. We really need to get the ball moving on this ASAP. You talk to your contacts in the NCAA, I'll talk to Barack, and we should be able to hammer this out by the end of the week.

Scoops McCracken: It's all about convincing the bow ties my good man!

Peoria Pliers: So the last NASCAR race of the season is this weekend. Who ya got?

Scoops McCracken: Uh....who are those two guys that pretty much get into a fight every race?

Peoria Pliers: Richard Petty and Cale Yarbrough? Or is it Cole Trickle and Rowdy Burns?

Scoops McCracken: I remember when Cale Yarbrough got caught in Rosco P. Coltrane's speed trap when passing through Hazzard County.

Peoria Pliers: So if you had to sit and watch three hours of continuous programming, which would you choose? 1. Dancing with the Stars 2. A NASCAR race 3. Campbell Soup Presents Passion On Ice With Scott Hamilton and Oksana Baiul 4. The 700 Club

Scoops McCracken: Well, the NASCAR race would probably be in HD, so I'd take that....then the figure skating (I actually don't mind figure skating), then 700 club and then dancing with the stars.

Scoops McCracken: Rank these 80s sitcoms in order of favorite to least: Facts of Life, Head of the Class, Growing Pains, Who's the Boss?, Family Ties

Peoria Pliers: Wait a minute...let's back up here. You'd take 3 hours of an aging, nonsensical Pat Robertson pontificating on the state of Israel instead of the pseudo-porn that is Dancing With The Stars? REALLY?

Scoops McCracken: For sure....it would be like re-living my college days of listening to mall preachers at the U.

Peoria Pliers: Wow. I'm amazed. Even I click Dancing With The Stars on when I see it on the guide just to get a peek at the dancers in their skimpy outfits. Good stuff. Frankly, I didn't watch four of those shows when I was a kid...just a little before my time. I always hated Kirk Cameron, so Growing Pains was out, Who's the Boss was over my head since I was a little tyke (but I always like Alyssa Milano), Head of the Class was just plain terrible, and Facts of Life was before my time. I did enjoy a little Family Ties every now and again. I've got a buddy who is going to end up looking JUST LIKE Michael Gross did in Family Ties someday. It's really something for him to look forward to. I'll say this about Fact of Life, though...great theme song. Who's the Boss is a close second for theme songs. Do you remember the show about the girl whose father was an alien and she could stop time at any moment? What was that show?

Scoops McCracken: Were you a 90210 guy at all?

Peoria Pliers: Never. Nor Melrose Place.

Scoops McCracken: One of the things you'd never guess: in college...me & Grant Harlan were hardcore 90210 guys....we used to watch old episodes on tape. I'm sure he was baked when he did it, but whatever.

Scoops McCracken: I was never a Melrose Place guy though.

Peoria Pliers: You and the Sports Guy...big 90210 fans. Very strange.

Scoops McCracken: Loved it. And love the new 90210 too. But I'm a different cat.

Peoria Pliers: Yes. Yes you are.

Scoops McCracken: Shows how much we can talk college football when there's awful games on this upcoming weekend.

Peoria Pliers: Yep, it's just a horrible slate of games. Just horrible. Maybe I'll read a book on Saturday.

Scoops McCracken: But then you never know....wasn't a huge slate of games last weekend either and Iowa came out & beat Penn State. Could it be a Sly Croom day over Bama? Florida getting knocked off by Spurrier? You never know.

Peoria Pliers: I sure would like to see the crowd reaction if Spurrier beats Florida in the Swamp. That would make my weekend. Big Brock Lesnar fights on Saturday against Old Man Randy Cotoure...who ya got, Scoops? I think you have to get a Bert Sugar Fedora on your head before you answer.

Scoops McCracken: I'm not a UFC guy, but hasn't the knock on Lesnar been he doesn't know how to fight UFC style yet? If he's figured it out, I find it hard to find a human being being able to defeat him in hand to hand combat. Perhaps one of the guys on Mortal Combat or Tekken.
Peoria Pliers: That would be a dream matchup...Liu Kang or Sub-Zero vs. Brock Lesnar fighting in the Octagon. Lesnar would have to come out dressed as Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies though.

Scoops McCracken: I tihnk I've asked this question before: Would it be better to be an SCSU fan (moderate success in WCHA, but nothing great) or a UMD fan (awful team, but one good year where you blow your wad)?

Peoria Pliers: That's an easy question for me, although my response is based off of different criteria...namely that St. Cloud should be wiped off the face of the earth along with Osama Bin laden and the entire Philadelphia Flyer franchise...so I'd go with UMD. From a fan's standpoint, however, I will give SCSU credit for being amazing supporters of their team. And I do like Motzko.

Scoops McCracken: UMD has always had a hint of dirtier hockey, even before the former UND player became their coach. Even back in the Sertich days. SCSU isn't as dirty.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah I can agree with that. Now that the pumpkin-pie-haircutted-freak Dave Hakstol is leading the charge from the Pillbox known as the UND bench, however, UND has taken that meat headedness to the next level.

Scoops McCracken: They are a piece of work, I agree. Both Hakstol and Cary Eades.
Peoria Pliers: North Dakota Hockey - putting the "Fighting" back in "Fighting Sioux!" Those guys belong in the WHL coaching for the Vancouver Giants or something

Scoops McCracken: Signing Day: North Dakota has announced the signing of the following student-athletes: Dr. Hook McCracken, Olge Olgelthorpe, and the Hanson Bros.
Peoria Pliers: Hey man, your city produced their latest knucklehead in Finley. I still can't believe he got drafted in the 1st round.

Scoops McCracken: I have no defense for Edina. None.

Peoria Pliers: Yet another person failing to defend Edina. HA! Let them eat cake.