The Murder Trains 'a Comin'

I'm not sure whose performance was weaker last week, Scoops and Pliers or the Big 10. I feel akin to Jules from Pulp Fiction when it comes to my Big 10 fandom, "I'm tryin, Ringo...I'm tryin REAL HARD to be the shepard. But that shit ain't the truth is. The truth is YOU ARE THE WEAK [Big 10 football]. And I [the rest of the NCAA D1 teams] am the TYRANNY OF EVIL MEN"



As I watched the events of Saturday afternoon align to make the Big 10 miraculously go 10-1 (thanks for nothing, Zooker) and allow James Delaney and the rest of the old-guard jerkoffs live their belief that the Midwestern teams can still compete with the SEC, Pac-10, and Big 12. This weekend should be a real eye-opener, and hopefully Scoops and I can pick up on that to capitalize on the lucrative betting lines this week. Off to the picks.

Last week - 3-5
Year to date - 3-5

Air Force getting 4.5 at MINNESOTA. I'll echo Sgt. Slaughter's comments...if the Minny line was that shook up in the Carrion Dome, imagine what they are going to be like at home with the Lou Nanne all-star team screaming at them all game long. Sure, Nichols State is a horseshit team, but putting up 72 points on anybody other than a group of elderly nuns, ESPECIALLY when you run the ball 90% of the time, shows that you have your mesh points working pretty well. Minnesota's undersized defense will keep up with the AF boys for a while, but I doubt that they even win the game, much less cover the spread. At least the stadium is pretty. Screaming Eagles 35, Minnesota 28.

North Carolina by 3.5 at UCONN. Yeah, I'm picking two road teams back to back...wanna fight about it? I believe in North Carolina's speed, T.J. Yates, and Butch Davis more than the ghost of Dan Orlovsky. The video below reminds us all of the low point of the UCONN program since its rise to D1 a few years ago. Tar Heels 38, Hush Puppies 17.




Western Michigan getting 1.5 at INDIANA. Continuing my trend of picking against mediocre Big 10 teams making their home debut, I think this is a pretty easy pick...maybe too easy. Indiana is just not very good, and Western Michigan played very well against a much more talented Michigan team. I'm surprised the line is this close. Western Michigan 24, Indiana 17.


Pittsburgh by 10 at BUFFALO. I actually watched a few minutes of the Buffs last week. Not pretty. Pittsburgh looks ready to challenge for a conference title this year, and Buffalo is an also-ran in a horrible conference. Also, Buffalo has the worst logo in the NCAA, so that can't help.

OKLAHOMA ST by 14 vs Houston. The last time I thought about the Houston football program, David Klingler was leaving his Underwater Basket Weaving class (UBWV 1001) and heading to Cougar Field to hang 600+ yards on Sun Belt opponents. Sure, Houston can still chuck the ball around the field, but Zac Robinson and Dez Bryant are men amongst boys and should carry their momentum straight through the Cougars into a big win in Stillwater. Oklahoma St 49, Houston 24.

The OVER at 50 on the NAVY/Louisiana Tech game. I love Navy's offense, and if they can put up 27 against Ohio State, they oughta be able to put up at least 35 on Louisiana Tech's porous defense that is designed to stop high flying spread schemes. Also, call me crazy, but I don't like LA Tech's prospects of being disciplined enough to stop the triple option. Louisiana Tech scores a few touchdowns on defensive breakdowns; this game goes over before the start of the 4th quarter. Or at least I hope it does. Navy 38, La Tech 21.

The UNDER at 53 on the BOISE ST/Miami (Ohio) game. Boise's offense was unimpressive against Oregon, and Miami failed to score last week against Kentucky. Also, the under is like 102-5 in the last 107 games these guys have played. I like the metrics. Boise 38, Miami 10.

Southern Cal by 6.5 at OHIO STATE. No brainer. The best team in the Pac-10 against arguably the best team in the Big 10. The interview I saw with Matt "Corbra Kai" Barkley says to me that he isn't going to be rattled at the horseshoe. Sure, Pryor is going to invoke memories of Vince Young destroying the USC defense a few years back, but he is young and dumb...and OSU has no running back of note. After his whoopin', the Tressel-Haters will be out in force. Not that they should be. But I think they will be. This line started at 5...I wish I had been in on that! USC 28, OSU 17.

WEEK 2: "NO WHERE TO GO BUT UP!

One word: OUCH! That’s the only way to describe opening weekend for myself. At least I wasn’t alone. And my loss wasn’t as big as the one suffered in Dallas last weekend by Oklahoma. And while I lost a three team teaser, at least I lost it big time with not only Oklahoma losing outright to fail to cover, but Ohio State not covering on their end of the dime either. I’d rather have that than lose by some measly missed extra point or something like that.

This brings us to week 2 of the season, and a nice slate of Big Ten games this week, what with the opening of TCF Bank Stadium for Minnesota, the rockstars known as USC head in to C-Bus, Michigan & Notre Dame meaning something, and Purdue getting to go to Eugene and attempt to not be a punching bag for Oregon (thank you, thank you….I’ll be here all season, folks!)

Time to punch the clock & get down to business.

[**] Air Force (-4.5) over MINNESOTA: My wager with Minnesota & Syracuse looked like the easiest money I had ever made about 19 seconds into the game last week. Almost like I was stealing and I felt bad. But then Adam Weber decided that he was going to throw every 5-7 yard out in front of and at the toes of every Minnesota WR the rest of the game minus the 4th quarter when they were fighting for their lives. I’m sort of torn on the Gophers’ performance. Syracuse is not a good football team (more on them a bit later) and Minnesota should have blasted them. But from what I hear from a few sources, it was VERY loud in the Carrier Dome, and the atmosphere was pretty intense. Add to that the emotion of a football team staying in it, and you have a game like that. I look at LSU-Washington as an example. Washington was 0-12 last year and while the addition of Jake Locker is huge, one player isn’t the only difference. The Washington crowd was into it, emotion plays a part with 18-22 year old kids, and you have an SEC West contender needing to escape with their lives out of Seattle over a team with a 14 game losing streak. Bottom Line: A win’s a win!

To this game: Air Force zoomed to a 72-0 win over something called Nichols State. They’re better than Navy, who gave Ohio State all they wanted. And they will move the ball & have some success on the Gophers. I would feel this way regardless of what I think of the Gophers. Minnesota opens the new stadium with a win, but it will only be by a field goal.
FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 34, AIR FORCE 31. [$11 straight wager, $10 payoff]

[**] PENN STATE (-30) over Syracuse: Syracuse is not a good football team. Arthur Jones is a legit DT and will be a 1st or 2nd round pick, and I was actually surprised by the poise of Paulus. But they lack talent, and Penn State will absolutely punish a defense that should have been punished last week. You come into danger when you hit the 30 point spreads because mistakes will keep the game at the 31-10 range or the team may put it into cruise control the 2nd half like Penn State did last week against Akron. But I think Penn State sees an opportunity to impress a few pollsters with the other big games on the schedule.
FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 52, SYRACUSE 13 [$5.50 straight wager, $5 payoff]

MICHIGAN (+4) over Notre Dame: Oh no! Some sister named Helen Moriarty or whatever the bitch’s name is will put on a prayer curse on me. So I got that going for me, which is nice. Anyway, Michigan’s offense resembles a bit more of what Rodriguez assembled at West Virginia, but it’s still not quite there. Notre Dame wins, but Michigan gets the cover.
FINAL SCORE: NOTRE DAME 27, MICHIGAN 24

INDIANA (-1.5) over Western Michigan: A win’s a win, but Indiana was rather unimpressive on a lowly Thursday night. I guess my only reasoning behind this is I think Michigan would be Indiana by a similar score of what they did to Western Michigan, so it will be a close game, and I think Indiana will win by a field goal. Also note that last week, the games I got right were the games I had no clue about, like this one. So this may be a huge money maker because I have no idea what I’m doing.
FINAL SCORE: INDIANA 24, WESTERN MICHIGAN 21

[**] MICHIGAN STATE (-15) over Central Michigan: MSU has the defense and the offense will only get better. Michigan State, as said here at the beginning of the season, is a legit Big Ten contender. They will show even more while getting ready for next week’s tilt in South Bend.
FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN STATE 38, CENTRAL MICHIGAN 17 [$5.50 straight wager, $5 payoff]

Southern Cal (-7.5) over OHIO STATE: When I first saw this line, I messaged Pliers and said “either this line is WAY too low or WAY too high, but I don’t know which yet. You have on one hand, a true freshman QB making his first road start in a place that isn’t the best place for said freshman QB to make his first road start. A night game, in Columbus. A senior Vince Young needed an incredible play to Limus Sweed to get through it in 2005. And Daryl Clark didn’t even make it through 60 minutes last year as Penn State put up their lowest point total of the season. Problem is I don’t have any faith in Ohio State in a big game. You know that Pete Carroll was sitting watching the film of last week’s Ohio State-Navy game and simply giggling when watching the success Navy was having. And Ohio State’s offense has only one playmaker. Good thing for OSU is that guy has the ball in his hands every single time and will have some success….but Joe McKnight will have a lot more. And it doesn’t hurt to have Taylor Freaking Mays killing people either.
FINAL SCORE: USC 38, OHIO STATE 24

OREGON (-12) over Purdue: Time for Oregon to punch back in on the clock and go to work (so many ways to go with this). Purdue was impressive, but they were playing a Chester Taylor-less Toledo Rocket club. Autzen Stadium is different. Oregon’s offense will improve from week 1 to week 2, they’ll use the distraction of Blount as an opportunity, and will squeak by the spread for the cover.
FINAL SCORE: OREGON 31, PURDUE 17


ILLINOIS plays Illinois State this week, so no prediction, but hopefully, Juice is able to hit double digits this week.

OKLAHOMA STATE (-16) over Houston: Should I be worried about Oklahoma State a week after a big win against Georgia? I guess I’m more focused on the 24-3 outscoring of the Bulldogs from the 2nd quarter on.
FINAL SCORE: OKLAHOMA STATE 41, HOUSTON 14

[**] Northwestern (-12) / Iowa (pk) / Wisconsin (-2) 6.5 point teaser: Well, the 6 point teaser threw me on all fours & took me doggy last week in two separate times (although I did hit 2 in my Minnesota & Cal teaser, thanks Eastern Michigan). This week, I get revenge on Eastern Michigan by tossing them as the first victim in my 3 team teaser this week as I knock Northwestern down to a -12 (current line moved up to -20, so I like my timing). Iowa, while not impressive, I think will get at least a FG victory in Ames this week, so knocking them down to a pick should be good enough. And while Wisconsin will have their hands full with Fresno State, I see at least a 3 point win for the Badgers, so knocking them down to -2 should be good enough hopefully to get the teaser train back on track for the good times roll ahead. [$5 teaser wager, $9 payoff]

Friday Morning Coffee

Peoria Pliers (12:25AM, 9/4/09): Boise. Covers. Huuu-rah! Yahtzee.
Scoops McCracken (12:27AM, 9/4/09): Oregon looked like a bunch of retards
Peoria Pliers (12:30AM, 9/4/09): Agreed. Pac-10 blows.

Well, a great gambling mind once told me that "if you're right 53% of the time, that means you're wrong 47% of the time." That about sums up my night with the Boise State-Oregon game. Oregon looked like a bunch of idiots, and was even still in the game, but they refused to make plays when they had the opportunities.

This now allows Boise State to potentially run the table and be the 2009 representative that can say "Why can't we play for a national championship?" And honestly, after watching Utah against Alabama last year, they have a valid point. What would be fun is for Boise to get one of the BCS games and their opponent to be Notre Dame.

No further comments shall be made regarding the 7-3 "defensive struggle" that took place in Raleigh, NC.

THURSDAY THROWDOWN: SEPTEMBER 3, 2009

Scoops McCracken: Throwdown, bitch!
Peoria Pliers: Did you see my picks?
Scoops McCracken: Yes....Oregon's beating Boise tonight....book it.
Peoria Pliers: No dice. There is only one team worth a crap from that conference and it is Boise. Plus the Pac-10 is more overrated than Heidi Montag
Scoops McCracken: This ain't some Arizona State Pac Ten team that Boise's playing....Oregon has revenge on their mind, and they're a freaking Pac Ten contender. Pac Ten rocked everyone's world last year in bowl season...USC will simply reload, and Oregon will be good. I think Cal is overrated as usual.
Peoria Pliers: Oregon lost a TON of guys....admittedly so did Boise, but their QB is a stud, and that means A LOT in the beginning of the year. Plus, the game is in Boise and those people are crazy
Scoops McCracken: Pressure's on Boise.....they're great when the pressure isn't on them, but when they're expected to do something (@ Georgia, opener of season a few years ago, Liberty Bowl '04, last year against TCU), they don't do it.
Peoria Pliers: Lame
Scoops McCracken: Throw a +14 right behind Boise & I'm with you.....expectations do a lot to ya. Watch Ole Miss NOT live up to them this year. As for your other pick of Western Michigan over Michigan, I have no problem with that...I have no opinion on what will happen whatsoever, so I just went with Michigan.
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough. I'd agree about Ole Miss if it weren't for Houston Nutt down there...talk about an axe to grind! If anyone can overcome those expectations in the top-heavy SEC, it is him
Scoops McCracken: You mean the Glen Mason of the SEC? Who couldn't do anything with Darren McFadden & Felix Jones in his backfield? The same guy who wouldn't run behind Shaun Andrews all game against Minnesota in the 2002 Music City Bowl when Minnesota had given up 300+ rushing yards in 4 consecutive games going in to that game? Good coach, but getting through Les Miles & Saban? Child please!
Peoria Pliers: First of all, let's not forget that Ar-Kansas made it to a BCS bowl with Houston Nutt, something that Mason never even got a sniff of. Secondly, LSU is way down this year AND without a proven QB. I'll give you Alabama, but aren’t the Tide's expectations higher than Ole Miss right now anyway?
Scoops McCracken: Which BCS bowl would that be that Houston Nutt made with Arkansas? I think you're thinking of a few SEC championship games which they made in which they got BLASTED by the East champ. As for the Bama/Ole Miss difference, I'd say it's that Saban knows how to deal with expectations, and that rubs off on the program. Ole Miss will be what they are...everyone's flavor of the month, but will get blasted a few times, and probably win the Cotton or Chick-Fil-A Bowl.
Peoria Pliers: I won't argue that they are probably overrated, I'm just saying that I don't think it is going to be a flop of a season for them
Scoops McCracken: A flop would be going 7-5...I think they'll be better than that too. Oklahoma State-Georgia....thoughts?
Peoria Pliers: I have NO idea. OK St is always a disappointment...they are the Clemson of the Big-12, right down to the school colors. Georgia is going to have a down year, but I wouldn't be surprised if they pull it out in OK City. It should be a good game to watch, but I have no read on who is going to win. What did you make of this story: BAMA PLAYER SHOT
Scoops McCracken: That's too bad...when you first hear of a football player getting shot, you immediately think "shouldn't have put yourself in that situation." Sounds like he was just at his place in his parking lot at what wasn't an awful hour. Too bad.
Peoria Pliers: The thing I can't figure out is who is stupid enough to rob a 6'4", 306 pounder in Tuscaloosa? If you see that guy on the street don't you immediately assume he's a monster and avoid him like the plague? Apparently the robbers in Alabama are as dumb as the football players
Scoops McCracken: Perhaps an ex high school player that wasn't able to land a scholarship, so taking it out on others?
Peoria Pliers: Maybe. What the hell is there to do in Tuscaloosa other than study old civil rights films, grow peanuts, and play football?
Scoops McCracken: Dreamland Bar-B-Que is supposed to be a famous restaurant....I also think they have an Olive Garden, which is lovely.
Peoria Pliers: Nice. I love how in Olive Garden commercials that all of the groups are interracial. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into the Edina Olive Garden and found all of the tables filled with multi-racial diners sucking down wilted salad and cheap wine
Scoops McCracken: Hypothetical question: if there was an "alumni" game before the actual game on Monday between Florida State & Miami, which game would garner bigger bragging rights between the two fan bases pending the outcome?
Peoria Pliers: Like All-Time Alumni game a la NCAA Football for Playstation or something?
Scoops McCracken: Or anybody that can currently walk? Involve Michael Irvin, give Testaverde, Kelly, Kosar & Gino Toretta each a quarter.....
Peoria Pliers: But they are playing in real life, with the physical limitations they have right now, as older adults? Not like what they would have been back in 1987
Scoops McCracken: I suppose you could do both. I think a simulation game would garner a lot of fan bragging interest.
Peoria Pliers: Absolutely. Either way I don't think the game makes it into the 3rd quarter since they would be fighting each other with weapons by the end of the first half. I think fans always prefer the old alumni types as bragging rights since it is something that transcends time and people can latch onto their program "greatness" as a full body of work instead of just a year-to-year team
Scoops McCracken: It's too bad the Miami-FSU series has kind of taken a back seat...seeing all the badass speed on the field during the 90s/early 00s was a site to behold
Peoria Pliers: Did you catch the Florida/Florida State game from 1997 on ESPN Classic last night?
Scoops McCracken: I didn't....which one? They played twice during the 96/97 season with Florida blasting FSU in the Sugar Bowl for the title and the 97 game was one in which FSU flat out choked as they may have been better than both Michigan and Nebraska that year
Peoria Pliers: It was the Sugar Bowl game for the title. Seeing Jacquez Green, Thad Busby, Ike Hilliard, Danny Wuerffel and Warrick Dunn absolutely brought a smile to my face. Was Edgar Bennett on that Fla St team as well?
Scoops McCracken: No, Bennett was with the Packers already....but that was classic Wuerffel just tossing the ball around to spots on the field and it was up to green, Reidel Anthony & Ike Hillard to be at the spot.
Peoria Pliers: Reidel Anthony. What a name
Scoops McCracken: Total flameout in the NFL, but was pretty good in college.
Peoria Pliers: Typical of Florida Receivers...errrr...except for Percy Harvin...right?
Scoops McCracken: Remember Yatil Green? He was a Miami WR that was drafted in the 1st round by the Giants in 1997, but he tore his knee and never played a down. Who have been the good ones? Ike Hillard has had a pretty steady career...Darrell Jackson has been ok. Other than that, not too many have panned out.
Peoria Pliers: That name rings a bell, but I don't remember seeing him play. Exactly my point, most of them are busts. Jabar Gaffney? What a stiff.
Scoops McCracken: Travis Taylor! HA! I do think Harvin's different though because he's has a total different level of speed than any of the previous Gator players.
Peoria Pliers: He looks good so far, but I'm not holding my breath, that’s all I'm saying. It is faulty reasoning, however. Just because Kyle Boller was a bust doesn’t mean that Aaron Rogers is going to suck this year, but that was the M.O. for many scouts when Rogers was drafted
Scoops McCracken: Yeah...I agree. I remember that being the case with Marion Barber when he came out and wasn't drafted until the 4th round....guys were saying "he's just another Mason system back like Thomas Hamner, Tellis Redmon, etc., anybody can run for 1,000 yards." Barber was completely different.
Peoria Pliers: And now he has the best nickname in the NFL. Marion the Barbarian. It just doesn't get any better than that.
Scoops McCracken: Who was your biggest "this guy is going to be better than everyone thinks" & "I thought this guy would be better than he was" going into drafts?
Peoria Pliers: For this year? Or all time?
Scoops McCracken: All time.
Peoria Pliers: That’s a really, really good question. Hmmmm. I'd say that my best call was DeAngelo Hall, although he is a dirtbag, but I remember saying to myself that he was a STUD in college. 2nd place goes to E.J. Henderson who I watched for 3 years at Maryland thinking, "This guy gets it, and he is a MONSTER." My biggest whiffs are probably Karlos Dansby, who I thought would rule the NFL for 10 years and turned out to be a total pud, Derrick Johnson (the LB from Texas that still sucks for the Chiefs), and Ryan Leaf. I really thought Ryan Leaf was going to be great. Whoops. How about you?
Scoops McCracken: Honestly, I was saying that teams were going to regret not taking Marion Barber. He was an animal the first time he touched the ball for Minnesota. That Denver took Maurice Clarett over him was a freaking joke. I still remember saying that I would have taken him over Cedric Benson, and Benson went 4th overall that year. So I'll take that as my biggest victory for being "I told everyone." As for guys that failed, I thought Robert Gallery from Iowa was going to be the next Anthony Munoz / Bruce Matthews and be a 15-20 year All-Pro OL. But he got Raidered, so perhaps it wasn't his fault. As for others, since I mostly watch Big Ten, I always thought Ladell Betts would have been a servicable RB in the NFL, but he was on some bad Iowa teams so he never to exposure. He's had a decent career as a Redskin backup. I did think David Terrell was going to be good for the Bears...he fizzled. Same with Charles Rogers. Also thought Detroit got a steal with Chris Claiborne....notice a lot of Lions on the "weren't as good as I thought" list.
Peoria Pliers: Terrell, Rogers, and Claiborne are all great examples; Betts has had a decent career, he's just a half-step too slow to be elite in the NFL, but it's so hard to determine that out of college You are also right on when referring to the teams they play for - I thought Larry Johnson would be good, but not leading the league in rushing. Of course the guy got 40 touches per game, so that is the main reason he has had monster seasons. Maroney will never get that kind of workload (not that he is better than JL...he isn't) but the difference between the two is probably not as huge as people think it is
Scoops McCracken: I think that's true for many; I think Johnson was always much more of a workhorse type of back than Maroney was. Same when it comes to people that always say "Barry Sanders would have done everything that Emmitt Smith did because of Dallas' OL." Emmitt was a workhorse back that was perfect for the Cowboys' style. Enough NFL (although a lot of it is draft related). Preseason pick: National Championship Game?
Peoria Pliers: Anyone picking against Florida is crazy, but that is no fun, so I'll mix it up. USC 24, Va Tech 17. Biggest surprise: Nebraska. Biggest Dissapointment: Utah
Scoops McCracken: Kind of a historical thing that I read: the last two programs that had won the title the year before & were expected to win it again LOST in the title game (Miami '02 & USC '05). I think the winner of the Ohio State-USC game should have a leg up for one of the spots.
Peoria Pliers: Miami should have won that game if it wasn't for the handjobbing of the ref on the pass interference play. I don't see Ohio State being dominant this year, they lost too many key guys
Scoops McCracken: I like winner of the Red River and whether Florida can run the table will be interesting. But OSU could run the Big Ten and USC with Barkley early could be a Buckeye win. Not to take a page from Lou Holtz' "the schedule sets up for Notre Dame" theory, but it could fall in place for Ohio State.
Peoria Pliers: Penn State is a better team than OSU in my opinion. Do those two teams play?
Scoops McCracken: Yes, in Penn State.
Peoria Pliers: I don't see them surviving that, Pryor may be good, but Daryl Clark is better than he is at this point and Happy Valley is a tough place to play when the fanbase is fired up
Scoops McCracken: Both teams have question marks for sure.
Peoria Pliers: How hot is the seat that the Zooker is on right now? Is he even remotely at risk of losing that job?
Scoops McCracken: I don't think so; not nearly the pressure as he had at Florida, and he did have a Rose Bowl (although it was landed upon them). I think he needs a 8-9 win season though to make sure there's no talk next year. Because Juice is a senior, Benn is gone for all intensive purposes...their offense will come down next year for sure.
Peoria Pliers: Agreed. Benn is one of the best players in the big 10, losing him will be a huge loss. Juice needs to figure out how to think before he acts...he is as much of a liability as an asset against good defenses luckily for him, there arent many in the Big 10
Scoops McCracken: I think Illinois' offense is the only explosive one in the conference this year....they'll have a decent year. Is it me, or is the SEC not as good this year? Bama won't be as good, LSU may be a bit better than last year, but they weren't world beaters....we've covered Ole Miss, Georgia is worse, South Carolina does nothing for me, Tennessee is all talk right now minus Eric Berry, Auburn doesn't have an offense, Vandy is Vandy, and Mississippi State replaced one black head coach for another. Florida should absolutely walk the conference and it shouldn't be close.
Peoria Pliers: I agree with you 100%...the recruiting rankings the past few years would indicate that there is a lot of talent in the SEC but so many teams are totally unproven. The Big 12 is probably the best conference right now, and the ACC isn't too far behind the big boys either.
Scoops McCracken: ACC is deep, but no heavy hitters. Big XII is tops this year. Texas & Oklahoma are the cream, Kansas & Oklahoma State will both be good, Nebraska is in the right direction, and Texas Tech & Mizzou, while probably a drop off, will figure things out like they always do.
Peoria Pliers: I might have to disagree with you a little on the ACC. As always, I love Va Tech's chances in the national title scene, North Carolina, Florida State, Georgia Tech, and Wake Forest all have a chance to field BCS-Challenging teams, and NC State and Virgina should be improved, not to mention the annual head-scratcher that BC is. I really like the ACC this year.
Scoops McCracken: VA Tech has a chance for a BCS title, but the rest are playing for nothing more than an Orange Bowl berth against Rutgers or Pitt. UNC, FSU & GT are nothing more than Iowa, Michigan State & Illinois but with better looking co-eds
Peoria Pliers: Time will tell

Pliers' Picks - 2009 Edition - Week 1

"Guess who's back in the M-F'in house, with a fat pick for your M-F'n mouth?"

Snoop Dogg lyrics from the mid-90's quoted by a white guy from the suburbs. It just doesn't get any better, does it? After spending the last nine months getting over the 2-6 stinkbomb I put up during the last week last year putting my final record at a paltry at 45-55-1, I think I've got a new system. More on that mid-season, if it works. If not, who gives a crap? How much worse an I get than 10 below .500? Besides, now that Ty Willingham is out of the head coaching biz, I oughta make up at least 5 picks from last year. That guy killed me.

Onto the picks.

Western Michigan getting 13.5 at MICHIGAN. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice with an NCAA scandal staring your team in the eye, shame on Rich-Rod. A team that hasn't, umm, let's say "Started Hot" the past few years facing a Western Michigan team that is pretty awful but should be good enough to keep it close. Eff you Rich-Rod. Michigan 28, W. Michigan 24.

USC by 33.5 vs. San Jose St. I bet you are asking yourself when the last time USC was favored by 30 or more points. You guessed it! Last November vs. Notre Dame! Call me crazy, but if they can cover against The Jimmy Clausen Experiment, they sure as hell can cover at home vs. The Condom Wrapper Mascot Memorial Team in San Jose St. I don't care who starts at QB for the Carroll Crew, they roll. Big. Trojans 45, Spartans 10.

WAKE FOREST by 1.5 vs Baylor. Robert Griffin showed flashes last year and all of a sudden everyone is making him out to be the next Charlie Ward. I'm not buying it. Not yet. Not at home against a defense that returns tons of guys at HOME. No dice. Wake 28, Baylor 10.

The OVER at 61 on the NOTRE DAME/Nevada game. This seems like simple math to me.

Pistol Offense returning 8 guys on offense + Jimmy "The Promise" Clausen as an upperclassman with talent around him + two terrible defenses from a year ago BOTH decimated by graduation. This one should be fun to watch. Hopefully they don't show Tom Hammond as often as they do Alex Flanagan. Notre Dame 45, Nevada 30.

Va Tech getting 7 at ALABAMA. Am I the only person that thinks "Roll Tide" sounds like a Proctor and Gamble product for getting armpit stains out of t-shirts? Alabama returns only 4 starters from last year's mediocre offense, and while their defense should be very stout, they have had an entire year to gloat and eat pork rinds down in Tuscaloosa after their impressive showing last year. Maybe I just hate Nick Saban (no, wait, I REALLY do hate Nick Saban), but I think Va Tech is a better team, even without their stud RB. Tyrod Taylor is going to be better off against the Roll-On Tide than the Crimson offense will do against Beamer-Ball. Plus, this game is in Atlanta. No home field SEC ballgame here. Best game of the week by far. Va Tech 20, Roll-On Tide 10.

Minnesota by 6 at SYRACUSE. I'll save the T-Brew fawning for Scoopsie, but let's be honest...Syracuse is going to be TERRIBLE. They were awful last year and they return only 8 starters from last year. Minnesota finally goes back to the running game and they have the guys to do it, so I think they should steamroll the bad teams and get whooped by the good ones. T-Brew Crew 38, Orange Crushed 21.

BOISE ST. by 3 on the blue turf vs Oregon. Spitting in the face of Scoops, this is one of those dangerous WAC teams that knows how to play on the big stage and has a RABID fan base. Plus, I'm still counting on Jared Zabransky's goatee to mean something. Boise 38, Oregon 31.

The OVER at 46 on the Middle Tennessee State/CLEMSON game. Random pick of the week. I love C.J. Spiller, and both teams bring back EVERYONE on offense. Dabo Sweeney should have his squad in better spirits to start the year than last year with Darth Vader at the helm. I don't know if they are going to blow MTSU out, but both teams ought to be able to score, and this a very low O/U. Clemson 35, MTSU 14.

So that is it. As long as I get as lucky with my picks as Marion Barry got with his cellmates, we should all make some money this college football season, right?

SCOOPS' WEEK 1 PICKS: TIME FOR BLAST OFF!

The engine is idling…the gear is in the trunk of the car…the dog has been fed…and game tickets are in hand. Opening weekend of the 2009 college football season is officially upon us, and unlike the professional participants, the 1st teamers won’t play a quarter, or a couple of series. If there is any doubt about this, tune in on Saturday night to the contest being housed at the Georgia Dome as one team’s national championship hopes will already be dashed around 11:30PM.

Same rules as last year, with the only difference that I’ll actually be making some real wagers along with using “mythical money” when making my picks. I’ll treat they mythical money like Vegas: Bet $11 to win $10. All bets will be $10 unless I state otherwise (there may be a few lead pipe locks). Real wagers will be marked with an official Scoops “double asterisk” prior to the bet. Also, the official online bookie of Scoops McCracken for 2009 is betus.com.

Enough of the B.S…..time to get down to brass tax!

[**] Minnesota (-6) over SYRACUSE: The line has since jumped to -8, but due to Scoops’ due diligence, it was -6.5 two weeks ago, and I bought another half point for $1, giving me a straight $12 to win $10 with the Gophers holding -6. A lot of intriguing items for this game. How does the Doug Marone era begin for the Orange? What are we going to see out of Greg Paulus at QB? How will an outdoor team like Minnesota be able to adapt to playing indoors? Thank you, thank you…..I’ll be here all season, folks.

FINAL SCORE: MINNESOTA 31, SYRACUSE 16. [$12 straight wager, $10 payoff]

OHIO STATE (-22) over Navy: It’s always fun when the University of the Navy (copyright: Lou Holtz) comes to town to take on a team that actually has national championship hopes, unlike their annual contest with Notre Dame. Nevertheless, Ohio State needs a tune up for when the rockstars known as USC come to town. Pryor will want to impress everybody and show that “he’s all grown up, and won’t be pushed around,” to pharaphrase Teddy KGB. Ohio State roles because they know they need to impress people for votes & BCS status if they want anything come January.

FINAL SCORE: OHIIO STATE 44, NAVY 10

PENN STATE (-28) over Akron: Similar situation for Penn State, only they have to run up things even more because their non-conference schedule is absolutely embarrassing in 2009. One slip up, or even one non-impressive week and Penn State will have no shot at Pasadena. Look for Penn State to try to make a statement along the lines of “see, we won’t miss Derrick Robinson & Deon Butler at all” even though the Zips are hardly the opponent to prove that point.

FINAL SCORE: PENN STATE 52, AKRON 13

MICHIGAN (-13) over Western Michigan: Nothing beats a little bit of controversy surrounding a football program, and the latest episode of Michigan players participating in off-season workouts for more than the allotted 20 hours per week is thrown into the bag of tricks. Of course every single Big Ten, SEC, ACC, Big XII, & Pac Ten program does such a thing, but why worry about everyone else when it’s fun to kick a program while they’re down, right? Michigan struggles, but finds a way to cover.

FINAL SCORE: MICHIGAN 31, WESTERN MICHIGAN 14

Northern Illinois (-16.5) over WISCONSIN: Guys like Larry English are hard to replace & even harder at a MAC school like the one in DeKalb. However, NIU had a first year coach, young receiving corps and a brand new QB last year. They’ll move the ball, and Wisconsin still is Wisconsin with (insert new mediocre QB’s name) running the show. Wisconsin wins, but doesn’t cover.

FINAL SCORE: WISCONSIN 34, NORTHERN ILLINOIS 20

PURDUE (-10.5) over Toledo: Chester Taylor isn’t walking through the doors of the Toledo football complex. They still may have a chance, but I’m going to go with new emotion of Danny Hope and what actually wasn’t that bad of a defense considering where Purdue ended up in the Big Ten standings in 2008

FINAL SCORE: PURDUE 24, TOLEDO 10

ILLINOIS (-7) over Missouri [@ St. Louis]: There is only one offense in the Big Ten in 2009, and they’ll be on display at the Edward Jones Dome on Saturday. No Chase Daniel or Jeremy Maclin to save Mizzou this time around as Illinois explodes & keeps the scoreboard operators busy.

FINAL SCORE: ILLINOIS 48, MISSOURI 37


MICHIGAN STATE, INDIANA, IOWA & NORTHWESTERN all play D-IAA [errr….FCS] schools this weekend.

VIRGINIA TECH (+6.5) over Alabama [@ Atlanta]: Big things expected for VA Tech. If Tyrod Taylor goes off, which I think he will, VA Tech will win. Plus, with no Glen Coffey, Andre Smith & the pumpkin pie hair cutted freak known as John Parker Wilson, I’m going to go with the spread cover.

FINAL SCORE: ALABAMA 31, VIRGINIA TECH 27

OKLAHOMA STATE (-5.5) over Georgia: What a fantastic opening weekend game. The Bulldogs and whoever their new QB is travels to T.Boone Pickins Stadium and gets to deal with an OSU team that’s pretty darn good and would have serious New Year’s Day thoughts if they weren’t in the same conference subdivision as Texas & Oklahoma. Cowboys win & cover.
FINAL SCORE: OKLAHOMA STATE 44, GEORGIA 31

[**] Oregon (+4) over BOISE STATE: If the above two games weren’t an indication why college football is better than the pro game, this one is the final nail in the coffin. What an opening game, and on a Thursday, no less. A team with serious BCS thoughts and dethroning USC thoughts that was one of the better teams in the country at the end of 2008 travels to the BCS spoiler and puts on a show on the blue turf in prime time. I just think Oregon has a feeling that they know what to expect and will be ready for whatever home field advantage Boise is going to reward them with. FINAL SCORE: OREGON 34, BOISE STATE 31 [$5.50 straight wager, $5 payoff]

[**] Ohio State (-16)/Penn State (-22)/Oklahoma (-16) 6 point teaser: You saw my above thoughts regarding Ohio State & Penn State…give them each another -6 and I like that…and Oklahoma hosts BYU and currently is -22. I like Bradford & Oklahoma to make a statement at home, like they so often do in the non-conference season (see Cincinnati, & TCU for examples). Knock that down to -16 on the 3 team tease and I like what I’m doing. [$5 teaser wager, $8 payoff]

A ONE MAN OPERATION

To quote the diva Celine Dion, Scoops is "All By Myself."

Where is Pliers? Is he participating in an oil drilling protest near Barrow? Is he currently at the residence owned by a 6'2", 240 lb. brunette named Helga? Is he snapping the G-string of a pool side cruise guest named Chase?

I suppose it's not out of the question for me to carry the load for the week leading up to Week 1 of the college football season. However, it's rather difficult to have a Throwdown chat with yourself. Main reason is that I think I'd outsmart myself and throw myself into a box. But I pose the following questions to the readers:
-Why do teams not go for it on 4th down more often?
-Why do teams not go for the 2-point conversion more often?

Scoops's Week 1 picks will be posted later today....until then.....GOOD DAY!

SCOOPS' 2009 BIG TEN FORECAST

Looking back on my 2008 Big Ten picks, it was the usual way: close on some, way off on others. Seems to sum up my life
.
Biggest Misfires: Iowa & Northwestern-I picked Iowa to go 5-7 and no bowl game. They ended up as arguably the best team in the Big Ten at the end of the season with their defeat of Penn State and their dismantlings of Minnesota and South Carolina in their bowl game. I had Northwestern going 0-8 in the Big Ten. After watching last year, I developed a man-crush on Pat Fitzgerald and won’t doubt his coaching abilities ever again.

Pretty much right on: Minnesota (one game off), Michigan State, & Penn State (one game off, but had them penciled in for the Rose Bowl which they attended)As I look at 2009, the Big Ten overall has 9 good teams, but no elite one.

I think it’s the most wide open the conference has been in quite a while, and it wouldn’t shock me if any of these 9 teams ended up winning it. The problem with the Big Ten right now is the top 3 are WAY below the top 3 of the Big XII or the SEC right now and don’t have any top-1 to compete with USC. So another pair of BCS losses should be expected come January.

T-1) Michigan State (11-1, 7-1; Rose Bowl): Their schedule sets up rather nicely. They don’t see Ohio State and get Penn State & Iowa in East Lansing. They do have road trips to Wisconsin, Illinois & Minnesota, but should have the ability to go 2-1 in that stretch. The tone setter for the season will be the trip to Notre Dame. Plus, Dantonio is showing that he can recruit AND coach, which is a combo that is not totally out there.

Possible Game they may lose but shouldn’t: @ Wisconsin & @ Minnesota. This is where they drop one of their 2 games. I have it being @ Minnesota because the Halloween Night game factor plus the chance that there may be a bit of a chill in the air that may sneak up on Sparty.

T-1) Ohio State (10-2, 7-1: Sugar Bowl): Losing most of the WR crew, Beanie Wells and all 3 starting LB’s would hurt most programs. And it will cost OSU a shot at the title as they’ll drop their big showdown against USC despite the Trojans breaking in a new QB. Still, Pryor will take another step towards being better than Vince Young. I have a feeling that Tressel is going to loosen the leash on Pryor a bit more and games like his performance in the Fiesta Bowl against Texas are going to be the norm. I have them dropping their conference game to Penn State simply because PSU will be jacked for that one. Not everyone wins every game that they should simply because they’re better.

T-3) Iowa (9-3, 5-3, CapitalOne Bowl): I actually like this Iowa team a lot. They return 8 out of 10 in the OL two-deeps, have a solid DB corps, and Stanzi is better than people give him credit for. Problem is their schedule. Their 4 Big Ten road games are @ Penn State, Wisconsin, Michigan State & Ohio State. OUCH! This team may be the best if they played every conference game on a neutral field each week, but with that schedule, I have them coming into 3rd and being one of the teams that actually represents the Big Ten well in their bowl game against their SEC victim.

T-3) Illinois (7-5, 5-3 Outback Bowl): They miss Iowa and Wisconsin, so that helps, and get doormats Purdue & Indiana on the road, which gives them a chip & a chair in home games with Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State & Northwestern. Mizzou is also reloading so the St. Louis opener could go their way as well. I don’t like their defense enough to make a title run, but the offense should be pretty explosive and be the best in the conference.

T-5) Penn State (8-4, 4-4 Champps Bowl): I just think the loss of 3 of their OL is too much to overcome and this is the one team that I think will slip a bit that most people are saying will be thinking conference or national title. The SpreadHD thrived because of a veteran offensive line and Clark & Royster won’t have that luxury this year. Throw in replacing Butler & Williams at receiver and all the DB’s and you have a team that will drop a few more games than it did the previous year. The non-conference schedule is a joke and get 2 of their 3 toughest games at home with the Buckeyes & Hawkeyes coming to Happy Valley. Still think they drop off though.

T-5) Northwestern (8-4, 4-4; Insight Bowl): All hail, Pat Fitzgerald. I don’t trust Kafka at QB since he throws like he plays high school football and their WR’s are all getting replaced, but they usually plug that position in with smart white kids that run good routes and catch the football. They’ll have a tough defense that will keep them in every game plus a joke of a non-conference schedule and you have a good season that will end in Phoenix because of Big Ten bowl rules wanting drunken Badger fans in the Alamodome.

T-5) Wisconsin (8-4, 4-4; Alamo Bowl): Badger fans can thank the schedule as it sets up rather nicely for a .500 season and a sweep of the non-conference schedule. The Badgers still have the same problem at QB as they have the past 2 seasons and that’s that they don’t have a quality one on scholarship. Plus their defense is slow & bad. They should be able to run the ball though with Clay & Brown to keep them off the field. They miss Illinois on the schedule which is good for Wisconsin because their offense is the one that would give Wisconsin nightmares in 2009.

T-5) Minnesota 7-5, 4-4, At-Large Bowl): I think the Gophers are a better team but it won’t show much due to the schedule. The OL should be better, which was the main problem with everything down the stretch last year. Returning a plethora of starters on both sides helps and the depth is better too, allowing for an injury to not derail the season. Biggest prediction: Gophers will go 2-2 during their stretch of death @ Penn State, @ Ohio State, Michigan State & Illinois. Most probable loss of the bunch will be @ Ohio State.

9) Michigan (7-5, 3-5, Motor City Bowl): Talent should be better as will being one more year experienced in RichRod’s system. And the non-conference schedule is a joke minus Notre Dame coming to town. As long as they can keep guys from leaving campus to head elsewhere, they can make it happen. The city of Detroit will be happy to have Michigan at Ford Field for revenue purposes.

10) Purdue (2-10, 1-7, no bowl): Purdue’s defense is a bit underrated and is pretty decent, but their offense will be atrocious. Throw in a non-conference schedule that includes a trip to Oregon and underrated Northern Illinois coming into town and you have a bright spot of winning the Oaken Bucket for Purdue.

11) Indiana (2-10, 0-8): They’re finishing up their stadium renovation, which should help. But their offense is bad, their defense lacks athletes, and they have a coach that’s only there because the previous one died due to cancer. At least they have a quality basketball program…eRRRRRRRRRRR!

SCOOPS & PLIERS: MEDIA DAY 2009

PLIERS:

Top 5 College Football Bucket List (In order)
1. See the national championship game played at the home stadium of a Big Ten team (as a result of home-field advantage for the higher seed in the PLAYOFF system)
2. Go to Hattiesburg with a copy of “Origin of Speices” without getting stoned by the “Science Department”
3. Roll into the The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" in an RV emblazoned with “NASCAR IS FOR PUSSIES” across the sides and rear of the vehicle.
4. Take an Upper-Decker in Nick Saban’s toilet.
5. See Notre Dame football win more than 4 games in any given season.

Favorite announcer: Keith Jackson. He retired? Really? I hadn’t noticed.
Most hated announcer: Thom Brenneman. Fox has no place in the college football world. Or the news business, for that matter.
Favorite college football media personality: Kirk Herbstriet. His high “Q” rating and overall non-disheveled appearance give him a slight edge over Lou “The Professor” Holtz
Underrated Media Personality: Glen Mason. Horrible coach. Great media guy. Robert Smith gets a close 2nd.
Overrated Media Personality: Mark May. I’m all about putting adding some color to my ESPN Football mornings, but Mark May is the best that ESPN can do? His statements about football are about as cogent and relevant as Jesse Jackson’s comments about ANYTHING.
Favorite Historical Team (other than favorite team): 1983 Penn State. Classic jerseys, the “best man” won (eff you for 1997, Dr. Tom). Yes, Joe Paterno is my all-time favorite Republican.
You’re athletic director, who do you hire: Other than Joe Paterno (for the comedic flair and public outrage that would ensue over hiring an 80-year old man who thinks Twitter is a sex act perpetrated by the evil Al Jolson fan base)? Hmm. I’m not sure, but I bet I could get Ty Willingham to do it for free. It’s a tough economy out there for these cash-strapped Universities. I’d go with Ty. In the real world though? Paul Johnson. Easy.
You’re that coach….which player do you want on your club more than any other: Tony Mandarich. Ohhhh, you mean current players. Adam Weber. I’ve heard that the Gopher staff is “Very Excited” about his leadership abilities, and his Mounds View pedigree can’t be beat.
Best uniforms: Top 3: Penn State, Alabama, Virginia Tech
Worst uniforms: Bottom 3: Hawaii, Florida State, TCU
“Rudy” or “The Program”?: Rudy. The program is HORRIBLE. Just horrible.
Your ideal conference realignment: I can’t answer this question right now since I don’t have six hours to dedicate to the socio-economic implications that this would have on our already fragile economy.
Your playoff solution: 16 team playoff with 10 automatic bids and 6 at large. Done.

SCOOPS:

Top 5 College Football Bucket List (In order):
Since I’ve been to the Rose Bowl & parade, I knocked off #1 off my list, so here’s the remaining:
1. Army-Navy game
2. Red River: Texas & Oklahoma
3. Sugar Bowl with a good matchup
4. SEC Championship with a good matchup (none of this Arkansas B.S.)
5. Ohio State-Michigan

Favorite announcer(s): Musberger with Bob Davie
Most hated announcer(s): Thom Brennaman, Pam Ward
Favorite college football media personality: Stewart Mandel, SI.com
Underrated Media Personality: Jesse Palmer, Pete Fiutak (Collegefootballnews.com)
Overrated Media Personality: Mark May, Dennis Dodd
Favorite Historical Team (other than favorite team): 1996 Florida Gators (due to man crush on Danny Wuerffel)
You’re athletic director, who do you hire: Mark Dantonio or Gary Patterson (Meyer & Richt will leave for NFL someday, Carroll & Mack Brown are getting a bit older)
You’re that coach….which player do you want on your club more than any other: This year, Taylor Mays….for the next few, Terrell Pryor
Best uniforms: Kansas
Worst uniforms: Iowa State
“Rudy” or “The Program”?: Individual parts of The Program are great, but you have to go with Rudy when comparing from top to bottom.
Your ideal conference realignment: Notre Dame to the Big Ten to end the economic battle with the Big Ten & SEC once & for all, then find a way to get Boise into the MWC. I don’t mind the non-BCS teams getting in the title hunt, but get the WAC & Mountain West combined so you only have one of those teams.
Your playoff solution: 10 team playoff (with the same processes as what currently gets used, 1 team guaranteed from each BCS conference, plus the at large clubs & Notre Dame, no more than 2 per conference in the dance. However, at larges aren’t selected in terms of attendance as much anymore (Ohio State & Notre Dame don’t make it just because they bring more fans). Strict ranking system for the at larges). First two rounds are played at the higher seed home with 15,000 tickets guaranteed to the visiting team, semis & final rotate between the 4 major bowl games. This allows for a champion to be determined, yet doesn’t diminish the regular season any because 2 losses will most likely knock you out.

SCOOPS & PLIERS ARE BACK

Fear not, loyal readers......SCOOPS & PLIERS ARE BACK!

Lots has happened since the end of last football season causing for the lack of posts, most notably, the addition of the newest member to Scoops' family, Peanut. Little Peanut will even offer some prognostication throughout the season, but for now, he has to pay his dues and sit in the back of bus, Rosa Parks style, while Scoops & Pliers drive.

Upcoming Events:
-Thursday, 08/13/09: SCOOPS & PLIERS MEDIA DAY
-Thursday, 08/20/09: ACC, BIG EAST & BIG TEN CONFERENCE FOCUS
-Thursday, 08/27/09: BIG XII, PAC TEN & SEC FOCUS
-Thursday, 09/03/09: NON-BCS CONFERENCE FOCUS + KICKOFF THURSDAY THROWDOWN

There will be others mixed in, including Scoops' hard hitting Big Ten preview PLUS others to get everyone in the '09 mood.

Also being introduced in 2009 will be Thursday night, Friday night, & Saturday TWITTER updates from the scene of the crimes, which will usually be in front of a 42" screen, the RV Victory Tailgate Lot, & TCF Bank Stadium Section 117.

"The time is now, the place is here, and the whole wide world is filled with cheer!" -RUN DMC