Quick Hitters: The Weekend that Was!

A lot of crazy things this past weekend in the world of college football, including my 4-6 record, which dropped my bankroll a bit. I’m still up, but it is what it is. Here’s what comes to my mind in some quick hitters:

NOTRE DAME

It’s hard to know for sure. Am I wrong on these guys? Is Purdue not that good? I admit I didn’t watch the game after it was 14-7 as I had to take advantage of the last few weekends for golfing, but looking at the box score, this wasn’t a Michigan win where the opponent turned the ball over 5 times. Clausen threw for 275 & 3 scores, and the Irish has a running game that had some success. They had 10 minutes more of time of possession as well. Looking at their schedule, USC seems to be the only loss that is definite on their schedule. I’d favor North Carolina slightly over the Irish right now, and Pitt & Boston College could go either way (I’d slightly favor the Irish). But the Irish look like they’ll end up going 9-3. Not good enough to get them into a BCS bowl game, so that’s the good news, but if the UNC game goes their way, no reason they can’t be 10-2 and giving us all what we don’t want, which is them getting blasted in another BCS game.

You want to know why Weis may be going to another BCS game? The bottom line is that Notre Dame has eased up on their scheduling practices since the Davie regime. Notre Dame used to be so freaking arrogant that they could play such a difficult national schedule because that’s what they do. They realized that not only could they not survive it, but no team in America could survive it. Look at the 1999 schedule that Davie had to go through:

Kansas (W, 48-13) [KU was a cupcake them, so a low BCS team was their cupcake]
@ Michigan (L 26-22) [Tom Brady-led Michigan won the Orange Bowl that season]
@ Purdue (L, 28-23) [Drew Brees-led Purdue lost to Georgia in Outback Bowl, team went to Rose Bowl following season]
Michigan State (L, 23-13) [Nick Saban-led Spartans finished 10-2 with win over Florida in Citrus Bowl]
Oklahoma (W, 34-30) [Sooners won national title the next season]
Arizona State (W 48-17)
USC (W, 25-24)
Navy (W, 28-24)
@ Tennessee (L 38-14) [Defending national champs, lost to Nebraska in Fiesta Bowl]
@ Pittsburgh (W 37-27)
Boston College (L, 31-29)
@ Stanford (L, 40-37) [Pac Ten champs & Rose Bowl representative]

What an absolutely BRUTAL schedule. Swap the Oklahoma’s & Tennessee’s with Syracuse & Washington and you have 4 game swings in records.

ALABAMA

I got back from dinner after golfing, thinking I’d tune in to the 3rd & 4th quarters of the Georgia-Alabama game thinking I’d see a close game, or at least Georgia winning. What I saw made my eyes jump. Alabama up 31-3? John Parker Freaking Wilson making things happen?

The funny thing is, you look at their schedule, and if it was ever conducive to run the table in the SEC, this would be it. They are @ LSU on 11/08, but that’s the only really daunting game. Auburn is at home and the only other road game is @ Tennessee, which looks like they’ve replaced Vandy as the state of Tennessee representative of SEC punching bag. Saban is a snake oil salesman and he’d be one guy I’d want to hit a 2 x 4 over the head with after a night of drinking on Frat Row, but they guy had Michigan State turned into a high level program before he left, completely turned LSU around before he left, and looks like he’s doing the same at Alabama. The only question remains: will he settle down and remain or jump ship for some quick dollars in the future?
FLORIDA

I love it. Scoops became so vindicated when it was 31-30, Florida faced 3rd & 10 with a little over a minute left, and the only two plays that Urban Meyer could come up with were a hand off around left end to Percy Harvin and a 4th down play that consisted of Tebow trying to jam himself straight up the middle. Please mail all 2006 National Championship Rings and the Sears Crystal Football to: University of Illinois, ATTN: Ron Zook/Player Recruitment, Champaign, IL.

MINNESOTA

It was what I thought it would be. The turnovers killed them, and Ohio State is a flat out better football team than Minnesota. But I’m excited. And you know why? Because I was pretty much scared to death watching Terrell Pryor with the football in his hands. And I don’t have to see him with that against my favorite team for at least another year. I thought the OL, for as young as they are, played OK. I think the DL played well & hard, but you can see they were getting tired in the 3rd quarter. I think there is a big gap for a 2nd & 3rd WR. Ralph Spry should be on the bench. Ben Kuznia is what he is: a walk-on WR with 4.7 40 speed from rural MN. I love the direction they’re going, hope one of the freshmen WR’s can step up the 2nd half of the season, and see no reason they can’t go 4-4 in the Big Ten, or 3-5 at the worst. And it’s because they just faced the best team & player they’re going to see all season this past weekend. It’s all downhill from this point. And Kellen Lewis is a poor man’s Pryor without any weapons and no defense. This weekend is a big game for the Gophers in terms of seeing how far they’ve come.

COLORADO

I suppose I should have listened to Corso. I tried to be impressed by the OT win over West Virginia. Apparently, Florida State is a whole new ball of wax, which is odd considering how rough Florida State's offense was last week against Wake Forest, who in turn decided to lose to Navy. Anyway, I still contend that way too many Colorado players would rather play intramurals.

Friday Fisticuffs!

Peoria Pliers:
First of all, we need to issue an apology to our loyal readers that we failed to put the Thursday Throwdown up on the site...again. Unfortunately, we do still have real jobs since ESPN or SI.com has inexplicably not come calling yet. Better late than never, though, right?
Peoria Pliers:
Let's begin...Whats the O/U on how many TD's Javon Ringer hangs on Indiana tomorrow?
Scoops McCracken:
Ringer....he's a doozy. The thing is that MSU's passing offense is rather ridiculous right now. But Indiana doesn't have a defense that can do anything about it, so I think the over/under should be set at 2.5. I'd take the over also, with him getting 3.
Peoria Pliers:
Javon Ringer is a STUD. I love that guy. Love him. Best thing to come out of East Lansing since Sedrick Irvin. What ever happened to that guy, anyway? Is he playing in Europe or something? He was a KILLER in college
Scoops McCracken:
All I remember about him was offering up the great quote after losing to the Gophers in 1998 "99 out of 100 times, we beat them." Not as good as Brendan Morrison's "sometimes the better team doesn't always win the game" quote after Michigan lost to Boston U in the 1997 Frozen Four, but a great one nonetheless.
Peoria Pliers:
That is a pretty good quote out of a guy who is probably bagging groceries at an Albertsons somewhere right now
Peoria Pliers:
OK, so answer me this: If Dave Wannstedt was on the cast of an 80's sitcom, what show be the best place for him to be cast, and what type of character would he be? He has that look of a great character actor that you would see in a bunch of TV shows and Movies
Scoops McCracken:
Lots of ways he can go here.....he could be the Dr. Jason Seaver on "Growing Pains," only with a mustache. He looks like a George Papadapolos on "Webster." He looks like the slimey dad Joey on "My Two Dads." He also looks like a fatherly figure for Alex P. Keaton on "Family Ties." Or perhaps the blind date for Angela in "Who's the Boss" who ends up being a boyfriend. The possibilities are endless with him.
Peoria Pliers:
I have a friend who looks exactly like the dad from Family Ties, by the way. I see Wannstdet as more of the "evil"/decietful brother of Magnum PI, or maybe even the drunkard buddy of Dan Connor on Roseanne. No matter which way you go with it, he definately has the characteritics of an awesome support cast member.
Scoops McCracken:
With USC losing last night...what does this do to the title picture? Because I still don't see an SEC team going through without a loss.Mizzou & Oklahoma don't play each other, so if Oklahoma can beat Texas, I see them being undefeated when they play in the Big XII championship. But you never know with Oklahoma, they may end up dropping one to some schlap.
Peoria Pliers:
Firstly, I don't see this Oklahoma team donking one this year. Secondly, I'm going to take the easy way out and say its WAAAYYY too early to talk about Title Game implications since I want don't want to tarnish my...ahem...spotless prognostication record
Scoops McCracken:
Yeah, but what's the fun in that. I think that's a backbreaking loss for USC. They don't get back into the top 2 after a loss like that to a team that Penn State took doggy.
Peoria Pliers:
Fair enough, but do you really think USC is going to lose another Pac-10 game? The Pac Ten is softer than a bowl of jello in the Mojave. UCLA? Oregon? Cal? C'mon, USC runs the table from here on out and then everyone forgets this transgression in Corvallis.
Scoops McCracken:
They won't, but that's the problem. Because it's soft, they'll be hurt. And USC will once again probably be the best team in the country on January 2nd, but unfortunately, they'll end up winning another Rose Bowl and not a BCS title.
Peoria Pliers:
So what you're saying is we need a playoff...
Scoops McCracken:
If there was a playoff, USC possibly would have won the title in 2002, would have in 2003, 2004, and possibly in 2006 & 2007. But USC should know this by now: don't F up on trips to places like Corvallis, Pullman or Palo Alto if you want to win a national title. Let's talk Big Ten. If Wisconsin wins but by 7 points, will they have proven anything?
Peoria Pliers:
No, they have proven nothing, not until they play Penn State or OSU, which consequently, they play the in the next three weeks. If Wisconsin comes out with a win against either PSU or OSU, I will give them a modicum of resepct. Otherwise, all they are to me is a one-sided team, and the last time I checked, P.J. Hill wasn't quite good enough to run the table in the Big 10 by himself.
Scoops McCracken:
I don't even think PJ Hill is the best back on his team. I'd give the nod to John Clay. I picked Wisconsin, but Michigan seems to have an ability of amping things up even when they're down. I think it will be an interesting game.
Peoria Pliers:
Maybe, but Wisconsin games are always slugfests, which can be good or can be just flat out boring. Their QB is crapola. He is tough to watch. He even makes Mike Teel look good. So Purdue/Irish this weekend in the battle for the one of the Shellaleighs (spell check required). Who ya got? Remember, Chuckwheat still has a "blown out" knee, so take that into consideration
Scoops McCracken:
I like Purdue, because I think Tiller knows that as long as they don't make mistakes, they should win. ND almost lost to SDSU (not the Jackrabbits), Michigan turned the ball over 5 times in Hurricane Ike's wake, and MSU handled them pretty easily.
Peoria Pliers:
Now we have some loyal readers who seem to be big Irish fans (this one's for you, Sister Helen Jean Moriarity)...what has to happen for Jimmy C to pull out the Victory in this one? Also, are you onboard the Maurice Crum bandwagon or not? I think the NBC announcers said his name during the last game more often than Kornheiser talks about Brett Farve during Monday Night Football...
Scoops McCracken:
I was on the Maurice Crum bandwagon back in 1988 when his dad was a badass stomach showing LB for the Hurricanes. I'm guessing his son is better since all football players are better now than in the past and I'll have that debate with anyone. I think Jimmy C's chances of winning are just "matriculating the ball down the field" and throwing a jump ball to Floyd in the endzone when they get inside the 20 because that seems to be the only way they can score minus a rain soaked turnover fest. Personally, I'd rather have 7 Big Ten QB's over Clausen right now (Weber, Juice, Bacher, Painter, Lewis, Pryor & Clark) Sorry if that was the Notre Dame love you wanted, but they're a freaking joke right now. And they've been that way since we were taunting the guy who was drinking wine, cheering for them in the Mandalay sports book during the 2006 Fiesta Bowl.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah, the Irish are pretty bad if you ask me. They do always have God (and by osmosis, Jesus) on their side, though, so that's usually worth a few points.
Scoops McCracken:
Well, they don't call him "Field Goal Jesus" for nothing. But even I think that Jesus turns the channel to find some sort of spread attack going on while the Irish are playing.
Peoria Pliers:
HA! By the way, did you see Sly Crooms quote the other day? When asked if he would ever run spread, he responded by saying, "I'll be dead or fired before I run Spread" gotta love that guy. On the Mississippi State front, has there ever been a more conservative coaching staff in the history of College football. Sly Croom makes Woody Hayes look like Mike Leach.
Scoops McCracken:
He runs what he wants to run....but I think he should. MSU isn't going to win in the SEC without something that can turn the table on everyone. Odds that Sly Croom stays on a 16 while the dealer is showing a 9? 97.4%
Peoria Pliers:
Can you see Sly Croom in an Austin Powers outfit, sitting at a blackjack table saying "I also like to live Dangerously..."
Scoops McCracken:
That is a sneaky underrated movie. I always get a kick out of that part, along with when #2 is showing Dr. Evil everything that they own, including a factory that makes minature models.
Peoria Pliers:
I think that dovetails very well with the miniature building in Zoolander, another sneaky good movie. Hold on a minute, I've got to run and get an Orange Mocha Frappaccino, be right back.
Scoops McCracken:
OK, coaching philosophy question, and I can't wait for the readers to offer up on this one. Two questions I've always wondered: 1) Why don't teams go for 2 more often? I figure if it could be mastered, it would be a tremendous weapon. And 2) Why don't teams go for it on 4th down more often? A Cal statistician once showed that more points are given away by teams that don't go for it.
Peoria Pliers:
Zubar15 would have an interesing take on this one, since he loves the 2-point and 4th down gambles. I think I'll leave the heavy lifting to the readers, who actually know about such things, but from my understanding, teams in the NCAA make the two-point conversion almost exactly 50% of the time, so really, the risk of not making one is minimal. As far as the statisticians from Cal, beware what they say because everything that comes out of Berkley (even statistics) are going to skew liberal. I am going to give the data to Sean Hannity and see what he comes up with before I make an assesment
Scoops McCracken:
I think it was Jim Fassel that said "let's put the stat nerd on a sideline and see what he thinks then." i think punting is more explainable, but i think teams should go for anything in the 4th & 3 or 4 range more often...or at least think about it a bit more.
Peoria Pliers:
The truth is that gambling just isn't as popular here in the states as it should be, and that bleeds into the coaching staff. If there was a bookie in the pressbox saying, "OK coach, I'll give you 2.5 to 1 on going for two to cover the juice, whadday say?" maybe we would have more exciting outcomes. It's just too bad.
Scoops McCracken:
That would be kind of hard to see. You'd then have coaches playing to only lose by a certain amount. Imagine how conservative Tressel would get then. By the same token, perhaps that would make him open it up more since he'd usually have to win by 2 TD's.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah I guess. At least Tressel did listen to the beckon call of Mr. McCracken (BTW, thanks for reading, Coach) and played T-Pry (we need to find a better nickname for him eventually) most of the game last week. We will see how good he is with Hightower chasing him down this Saturday though!!! That was sarcasm, by the way.
Scoops McCracken:
Did I ever tell you my reality TV program idea?
Scoops McCracken:
Since there's 50 different designer/chef shows on Bravo, my idea is you have a NCAA Football Playstation Dynasty competition by 20 different guys, and winner gets a 4 year contract at some obscure Sun Belt school.
Peoria Pliers:
Hmmm, don't they already have the Professional Video Gaming League? Maybe this could be their answer to the "Ultimate Fighter" deal for the UFC? And really, what does your average Sun Belt AD have to lose here? It's not an awful idea, really. What does it really take to go 3-8 in the Sun Belt?
Scoops McCracken:
Think about the publicity. More people would pay attention to UL-Monroe than they do now. The attention would be off the charts, 2nd only to my idea that Kappa Sigma should have done a philanthropy event with 100% of the proceeds going to the NRA.
Peoria Pliers:
That sounds like the plot of a Simpsons episode. I'd rather just get a soundbite of Les Miles saying, "You can have the National Championship Trophy when you pry it from my cold, dead hands" On the reality TV tip, and I fully understand that ESPN did this type of thing a few years back, I think that the next show that HAS to happen is a reality show for Football play by play and color analysts. The combo of Ron Pitts/Tony Boselli was more painful to listen to than a 2nd grade chorus concert. BRUTAL. We need some new blood, not just a bunch of washed up ex-athletes and sons of old broadcasters. I'm honestly thinking about watching all of the football games for the rest of the fall with the TV muted and having some music playing in the background.
Scoops McCracken:
The problem is that networks think they can toss any ex player in and he'll be good. For every Troy Aikman, there are 5 Tony Boselli's & Bill Maas'. Scoops' rule for broadcasting: always go with a coach over an ex-player.
Peoria Pliers:
Always. I'm convinced that my mother could do a better job than most of these guys just by being silent. Ron Pitt’s said last week that the Panthers need to “Get the Vikings off”. Wow. I’m breathless. In other news, Ron Pitt was seen living it up at a VIP lounge with Clay Aiken a few days ago…
Peoria Pliers:
In honor of the Corvalis Crackdown last night, what are your top 5 "Upset Stadiums" in the land right now. Must be a stadium of a team NOT in the top 20.

1. Texas A&M (rememer, we are ranking the Stadiums, not the teams...)
2. Washington
3. Tennessee
4. Fresno St.
5. Colorado
Scoops McCracken:
Pretty good list...I'd toss Hawaii in there as well since you'll always get a pro-Hawaii crew reffing the game. Would would win: 1941 Army (National Champions) or 2005 Minnesota (Music City Bowl participant)?
Peoria Pliers:
Hmm, well I'm sure I like the moxie of the Army squad, so they win the "Gut Check" column. Minnesota does have a few things going for them, however. Firstly the 2005 Gopher team was not segregated, so you have to figure that is a bonus for the Gophers. Also, I believe that the combined weights of Mark Setterstrom and Greg Eslinger total the entire weight of the Army D-Line that year. BUT, the Gophers did have Glen Mason coaching for them, that would probably swing the advantage to Army. I'd say Army 1941 12, Gophers 4.
Scoops McCracken:
Would Knute Rockne's forward pass be legal? That's the question.
Peoria Pliers:
Only when the offensive player could see the white's of their opponents eyes. Otherwise, no.
On another tip, when did coaches stop calling their players "Men". That has such a great ring to it. Now they call them "Great Kids". Come on. Call 'em Men for godsakes. It sounds so much more regal.
Scoops McCracken:
I'm more upset that I haven't had a chance to kick a 35 yard FG during halftime of the Dr. Pepper SEC championship game for 1 Million.
Peoria Pliers:
The real question is, if you were selected, would you go Rich Karlis and rock the shoeless kicking style? You got anything else?
Scoops McCracken:
No...I'm just glad that Big Ten season is getting going. I think it's going to be interesting to see if the Gophers are ready to be competitive at all. "Lose small" is the goal in year 2 of a rebuild. I'm also interested to see Wisconsin along with Penn State.
Peoria Pliers:
I think that the Gopher game might be closer than people think, if for no other reason than the fact that it has to be nearly impossible for Ohio State to get up for a matchup against the Gophers.
Scoops McCracken:
Bottom line is that OSU has not been impressive thus far, and even if they have Beanie back, you can't imagine that he'll be in 100% game shape. Lots of questions to be answered.
Peoria Pliers:
True enough. I can't wait for a good weekend of college football instead of the crapfest last weekend. Any parting shots?
Scoops McCracken:
Win or lose, I don't punch a clock in Ohio.
Peoria Pliers:

Awesome. Enjoy the games everybody!!

SCOOPS' QUICK PICKS: WEEK 5

Last week: 6-8

Weekly Money: -$27

Overall: 26-19

Overall Take: +$78

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Scoops' picks are quick, short, and to the point this week. If you're looking for no non-sense hard hitting humor, you'll have to tune in next week. However, Scoops wants to be on the record for his weekly picks.

Minnesota (+18) over OHIO STATE: OSU is 0-3 versus the spread. Beanie isn't in game shape yet, Pryor will make plays, but is still a true frosh.

SCOOPS' PICK: OHIO STATE 31, MINNESOTA 17

Wisconsin (-6) over MICHIGAN: Wisconsin is better, and will get it done on the road.

SCOOPS' PICK: WISCONSIN 27, MICHIGAN 17

PENN STATE (-14.5) over Illinois: PSU's offensive show keeps rolling. An impressive 3-0 ATS keeps on as well.

SCOOPS' PICK: PENN STATE 45, ILLINOIS 24

Michigan State (-8) over INDIANA: Michigan State will grind out another Javon Ringer performance for the road victory.

SCOOPS' PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 26, INDIANA 13

Northwestern (+9) over IOWA: Iowa's offensive isn't good enough to cover 9 points, especially with the way the 'cats' defense is playing.

SCOOPS' PICK: IOWA 20, NORTHWESTERN 17

Purdue (+1.5) over NOTRE DAME: Purdue's offense is better than Michigan's and won't provide 5 turnovers.

SCOOPS' PICK: PURDUE 24, NOTRE DAME 14

GEORGIA (-6) over Alabama: Impressive win out west for the dogs. Alabama had 10 games within 7 points last year, which scares me, but like every game thus far, the 'dogs are on a mission, and it ain't going to Bama that takes this train off the tracks.

SCOOPS' PICK: GEORGIA 24, ALABAMA 14

Colorado (+6) over FLORIDA STATE: FSU's offense is awful, and the Buffs are coming off a nice win over West Virginia. Colorado takes it outright. No money line, just straight.

SCOOPS' PICK: COLORADO 20, FLORIDA STATE 17

Bowling Green (-3) over WYOMING: Bowling Green is 1-2, but the combined records of the teams that they've lost to is 9-1.

SCOOPS' PICK: BOWLING GREEN 38, WYOMING 20

AUBURN (-6) over Tennessee: Tennessee is bad, and they were embarassed by the Gators last week. I think Auburn is able to bounce back from last week's tough loss to LSU.

SCOOPS' PICK: AUBURN 24, TENNESSEE 7

Pliers' Week 4 Picks [9/24/2008)

Pliers took more of a beating than the Texas Tech...uhh...Bell? (see video below), going 3-4. My week was so full of B.S. that I didn't even realize I only made 7 picks. It's time to get back on the gravy train this week, and hopefully these matchups will do the trick. (Last week - 3-4, YTD - 13-10)

Wisconsin by 6 at MICHIGAN. I love the Wisconsin O-Line, and even though this one is at the Big House, I still like the BAD-gers to win by at least 10. BAD-gers 24, Michigan 13.

AUBURN by 6 vs. Tennessee. The Vols are nothing more than a bad football team. They can't do anything right, and the crowd at Auburn ain't gonna make it any easier. Now, if Auburn could just score some points.... Anyway, it doesn't matter, since the Phil Fulmer's team has officially reached Tail Spin mode. Auburn 24, Tennessee 10.

Purdue getting 2 at NOTRE DAME. It seems that each week I come on here ripping Chuckwheat and the poor state of Irish Football. This week is no different. Remember, this is the same team that barely beat the Aztecs of San Diego State and needed 5 fumbles to beat Michigan.

OKLAHOMA by 17.5 vs. Texas Christian. Stoopsie has his best team in years, and TCU is just not that good. Plus, the last time these teams met, the Horned Frogs pulled the upset, so look for OU to come out with their guns blazin'. The monster Sooner O-Line steamrolls the relatively diminutive TCU front 7, and Sam Bradford (who was inexplicably left off the USA Ryder Cup team this past week) takes his frustrations out and goes 28-34 for 460 yards and 4 TDs...and then sits down for the 4th quarter. Oklahoma 50, TCU 21.

Troy getting 17 at OKLAHOMA ST. Wow, this is a huge line. 17? Honestly? The Cowboys beat bad Washington State team and then a powder puff or two, but Troy is pretty goddamn good at football. They always have a few NFL draft picks on their team, but despite their lack of depth, they will keep this one close. If this game is in Troy, I'd take the Trojans straight up. Oklahoma State 38, Troy 31.

The UNDER at 39 on the LSU/Mississippi State game. Have you seen these two teams play? The only way the over comes through is if the defenses outscore the offenses...which is a VERY REAL possibility. This game might actually be LESS thrilling than the St. Thomas/St. Olaf bout a few weeks ago. I've never taken an under below 40 on a college football game before, but if there was ever a time to do it, this is it. These offenses are more pathetic than Clay Aiken's homosexuality "secret". Thanks for letting the public know, Clay, we would have never suspected you were a homo. LSU 17, Mississippi St 6.

Fresno St. by 6.5 at UCLA. Who made this line? Did John Wooden put a few million on UCLA to make the oddsmakers shift? Wow. The ONLY thing that UCLA has going in this matchup is that Neuheisel and his staff are better (albeit by a small margin) than Pat Hill and his gang of renegades. Doesn't matter. Brandstater throws for over 400 yards and the Bulldogs send the Bruins reeling even further with their 3rd loss in a row. Oh, and that win against UT in the opener? Doesn't seem to mean much now, does it? Fresno 34, UCLA 17.

MIAMI by 7.5 vs. North Carolina. This is an cool matchup since you have Butch Davis returning to Miami. The good news for UNC? They have one of the most underrated Wideouts in the nation (Hakeem Nicks) and they are amazingly disciplined for a team from North Carolina. The bad news? Their starting QB is hurt, leaving a guy named Paulus (never a good sign) at the helm, who has completed a whopping 33% of his passes. He is currently 3-9 with two INTs and no TDs. Ouch. The Miami defense is going to get after that kid early and often. This year's Miami team is kind of like the badass Tri-Lambdas from Revenge of the Nerds...with Randy Shannon playing the leader of the fraternity. Miami wins this one BIG, but then probably donks one off to a mediocre Florida St. team next week. Miami 31, UNC 10.

BONUS PICK:
Since I only made 7 picks last week, I thought I'd make amends with an extra pick this week.
The UNDER at 48.5 on the MARYLAND/Clemson game. The under is 7-1 the last 8 years on the UMD/Clemson games. Note to the Maryland defense: YOU MUST DEFEND THIS HOUSE!!! Maryland 21, Clemson 24.

Point-Counterpoint - Sweet Lou Farrakhan

Last week's interview with the deceased Jimmy the Greek produced more fan mail than Scoops and Pliers could handle, so after a briefing with our strategic board of advisers, it was determined that the next logical step was to provide a point-counterpoint discussion on the "High-Thighs" comments posted on the blog. After much discussion, the board settled on the only logical choice for such a counterpoint, and a phone call to the publicist of Louis "Sweet Lou" Farrakhan. He was engaged with Peoria Pliers less than three hours later. This is the transcript of that conversation.

Peoria Pliers: Reverend...err, Minister...uhh...Mr. Farrakhan, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down with us this afternoon, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to grant us this interview on such short notice, given your considerable speaking schedule.

Sweet Lou: It is no problem at all, my undignified brother. After reading the comments of the evil, albeit deceased, Jimmy the Greek, Allah flowed through my blood and directed me to come on board and fight these charges put forth by angry white men on the behalf of angry black men everywhere. And thus, here I am.

Peoria Pliers: Awesome. I think I feel the spirit already. Anyway, how does it make you feel that one of the most distinguished and expired sports bettors of all time still believes that race plays such a huge part in the success of the college football athlete, particularly in the "Durrty-Durrty", AKA the Deep South?

Sweet Lou: Frankly, Peoria, it hurts me, much like Cain was hurt that his sacrifice was not accepted. And that cuts deep. This whole business about "high thighs" and back muscles seems to be another cog in the Rube Goldberg-esqe machinery of the White Man's Lies. By the way, I have a book coming out in a few weeks. Did I mention that?

Peoria Pliers: A book huh? That's great. Let's get back to the subject at hand. Given Jimmy's comments, in general, do you feel that college football ends up being a positive experience for these kids from the rural south, or is it just another way for the "Old SEC Boys Club" to subjugate the poor and athletic in a Roman Colosseum type environment (see: Athens, GA or Auburn, AL)?

Sweet Lou: Yeah, my book is going to be great, unless you are a Christian, then you will probably hate it. Or Jewish. You will probably hate it too. But if you are white....err...well, you would probably hate it also. Otherwise, it's gonna be great! Your readers can pick it up at any local bookstore that specializes in extremest Muslim texts...

Peoria Pliers: OK Mr. Farrakhan, we told your publicist no plugs, that is enough. Please answer the question.

Sweet Lou: Oh yeah, sorry. It just makes me so fired up that our young brothers and sisters are out there not buying my books. Umm, OK, where were we? The rural south. My book touches on this a little bit. Essentially, the SEC is nothing more than a modernized plantation. Instead of Cotton, there are BCS games. Instead of indentured servants, there are college kids. Sure, they get a free education and a chance to escape the harsh realities of life in rural south, but that doesn't make it right that stadiums are packed full of rabid football fans every weekend. It's more of an abomination than eating swine, that's all I can say, and it is probably Dick Cheney's fault. Or George W. Bush. One of the two. But let's get back to my book...

Peoria Pliers: Enough about the book, please. Are you seriously saying that the SEC is modernized slavery and that all college kids playing in the SEC, regardless of their race, are victims of some policy put forth by the current presidential administration? Seriously?

Sweet Lou: Hey, whatever sells my book, man. Ohhh, wait. Was the microphone on there? I didn't mean to say that out loud. This is kind of like that part in Austin Powers where he says what he is thinking out loud. Damnit, I did it again. Ummm, yeah. Hang on, my publicist is calling...[muffled speech]....[muffled speech]... OK, sorry Mr. Pliers, it seems that, uhh, my publicist says that this interview is unfortunately going to have to come to an end...thanks for having me on. I really enjoyed our talk about the welfare system.

Peoria Pliers: We didn't talk about the welfare system. This was about college football in the south.

Sweet Lou: Oh yeah. Whatever. Did I mention I have a book coming out next week?

Peoria Pliers: That will be all, Mr. Farrakhan. Assalaamu 'Aleykum.

Friday Celebrity 4th Quarter: JIMMY THE GREEK

As a new feature to the blog, we’re going to have a one-on-one interview with a great individual that fits the mold of what Scoops & Pliers are looking for. In this week’s “Friday Celebrity 4th Quarter,” Scoops had a chat with the legendary sports prognosticator Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder.

Scoops McCracken: I feel like I’m in the presence of a legend. Do you know that you pretty much are responsible for promoting the wonderful world of football gambling?
Jimmy The Greek: I don’t know about that. It wasn’t so much football gambling that I loved as much as it was gambling in general. You have to remember, my greatest wager was getting 17:1 odds and picking Harry Truman to defeat Thomas Dewey for the 1948 presidency. I put down $10K on that badboy and was able to turn that one into a winner.
Scoops McCracken: I was a youngster growing up when I watched you in your later years on “The NFL Today on CBS.” That was my first dose of the Greek, with Musberger & Irv Cross. But what I remember most of all is that you were wrong more often than you were right. What gave?
Jimmy The Greek: I don’t know the exact statistics, but it was a bit different from television to being in the sports book. I never gave the spreads while broadcasting on television, therefore I sometimes was going a different way than what I was picking. And Television, even back then was a whole different animal.
Scoops McCracken: Talk about the statement you made that got you fired from CBS. I will quote it directly:

“The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.”

Jimmy The Greek: I was speaking my opinion of what I’ve based some experience upon. I also said that that whites were holding on to coaching jobs because, with blacks dominating the playing fields, management was the only role left for them. I also said that young black athletes work harder than their white counterparts and that is the reason why certain proportions exist of who’s who.
Scoops McCracken: What are your opinion thus far of the college football season?
Jimmy The Greek: I like LSU because their thighs are much bigger and they’ve been bred for this type of southern domination since the 1800s.
Scoops McCracken: Do you like being called “The Greek?”
Jimmy The Greek: I don’t mind it. Musberger was the one that called me that or sometimes just “Greek” so it kind of stuck and I ran with it. I got no problem. It’s a bit easier than Dimetrios.
Scoops McCracken: What have you been up to lately?

Jimmy The Greek: Well, I died in 1996 of a heart attack. When I finally passed through the gates after promising I’d give them a few points off of a few teasers, I was troubled to find that Pete Axthelm already had the market cornered in terms of football wagering, so I had to become a bit innovative. I gave better odds, lower commission takes, and opened up a wider variety of potential wagers to the people here so I was able to capitalize on that. Little known secret is that I convinced Jesus to throw in a "Noonan" during Gary Anderson's potential game winning kick in the 1999 NFC Championship game. I cleaned everybody out after that one. I drove Ax out of business and now he’s shooting birds near the airport. I’ve done allright for myself. I got no complaints, other than I wish I had nice big thick thighs so I could jump higher & run faster.

Thursday Throwdown Chat Transcript (09/18/08)

Scoops McCracken: Pliers, my good man. I want your opinion of Jim Tressel and if it changed over the past 7 days.
Peoria Pliers: Ahoy hoy, Scoops! Smashing to see you again today. My opinion of Tressel? Other than the fact that he looks like a pedophile on the sidelines because of those god awful Transition lenses, I still think he is a good man and a solid coach. If anyone was exposed this weekend it was the copious amount of football talent oozing out of the state of California
Scoops McCracken: See, I see him in a different light now. I think that 2002 was the perfect storm; a season with that kind of luck will never happen again. But he keeps sticking to that model and thinking that it can. He'll never beat USC with the way he's coaching now. You can't honestly tell me that the talent is THAT much better on the USC sidelines than it is on Ohio State's. Mandel brought up a good point about how USC seems so much looser than everybody, and their constantly having so much fun Ohio State? It seems like it's a chore to play football for them. It seems like they have zero fun and they're only playing for all the hunyucks for "Buckeye Nation." They're bringing in all the pressure in these big games in the bowls or against USC. And they can't handle it. Not only can they not handle it, they flat out gage. They jump out to the lead in all of them, and the opponent just starts doing anything they want to them. And OSU does nothing to change it. They stick with it. I'm all for doing what you do best the most, but what they've done clearly isn't working against an SEC heavyweight or USC.
Peoria Pliers: Fair enough, but if you make that argument, then who do you replace him with? Who is better than Jim Tressel? Honestly? I mean I LOVE Pete Carroll, and he is clearly the perfect personality and talent for the college game. But to say that these couple losses are an indictment of his ability is maybe a little far reaching. And lets not forget that OSU has stomped all over the Big 10 lately, which isn't easy to do
Scoops McCracken: It all depends what is satisfying to Buckeye fans and their university. If they're fine with being one of the top 2 in the Big Ten throughout, then they're just fine. But they have to become more aggressive if they want to win national titles if that's their goal. Obviously, I think Lane Kiffin will be the perfect fit for being their offensive coordinator as soon as he's canned from the Raiders
Peoria Pliers: Man, you've already got a replacement? Wow. You really think Tressell is that bad??
Scoops McCracken: Tressel-ball can win in the Big Ten, but the conservative nature won't get it done on a national stage. I think Pryor is a step in the right direction. And I said Kiffin for O-coordinator, not for Head Coach. A head man? I don't have a name for you. Carroll ain't going anywhere, but I'm sure an Urban Meyer would listen
Peoria Pliers: OK, first of all, if Urban Meyer turns Buckeye, I'm selling all of my possessions and giving the money to the Wolverine Booster club. Secondly, I like the new O-coordinator idea. that might not be a bad idea. To me, however, the real story here is how amazing the talent is at Trojan Stadium, year in and year out.
Scoops McCracken: Why not? From Ohio, played at Cincinnati and got his masters from OSU. A former grad assistant. He has more ties to OSU than Florida. But you're right, they lose a QB and simply enter in a new one. Palmer to Leinert to Booty to Sanchez. Mitch Mustain, who started at Arkansas as a true freshmen when they went to the SEC championship, is their freaking 3rd stringer right now. As long as they keep playing Boeckman, I think OSU gets nipped once or twice in the Big Ten this year. And please don't figure out that Pryor is the man until after next week when the Gophers visit C-Bus.
Peoria Pliers: Yeah that's fine, but I just friggen hate the guy. He spits in the face of the great tradition at OSU (as long as we forget about the John Cooper years). AndPryor might be the man, but he is still 18 years old and not the ultimate savior.
Scoops McCracken: Well, they ain't winning a national title this year, so why not let him take over?
Peoria Pliers: Wow. I have no resposne to that. Anyway, lets move on. If you are a WV Mountaineer fan, are you legitamately worried about the total collapse of your entire football program? They have looked like crap lately, and their niche offense has become the standard, so part of their advantage is gone. What gives?
Scoops McCracken: That's why I fear what Michigan can become in 3 years. West Virginia with better talent. They'll go down a little, but they'll always have a piece of Big East football. I doubt they'll be BCS winner worthy for a while though.
Peoria Pliers: OK, so am I the only person who thinks Pat White is REALLY overrated then?
Scoops McCracken: I think he's the perfect running QB for a spread running system. I think people who try to talk about him as a dual threat passer are talking out of their ass.
Peoria Pliers: So here comes my tpyical question since I wish I had Mel Kiper's job...where does he go (if anywhere) in the NFL draft next April?
Scoops McCracken: Maybe 4th or 5th round....no reason he couldn't be an Antwaan Randel-El, but he shouldn't go on the 1st day.
Peoria Pliers: He seems amazingly frail to me, but I could see him turning into a punt returner at some point. I'd say sixth or seventh round to someone like Denver
Scoops McCracken: Either that or WAAAAAY to early to some team that sucks trying to make a splash, like the Raiders or the Falcons in the 2nd round.
Who are your top 5 man-crushes in college football right now? Mine:
1) Todd Reesing
2) Tramaine Brock
3) Chase Daniel
4) Joe McKnight
5) Trindon Holliday
Peoria Pliers: Hmm. That is an interesting question. Very interesting.
1) Chase Daniel
2) Paul Johnson
3) The local South Bend Twinkie salesman now that ChuckWheat blew out his knee
4) Sam Bradford
5) Percy Harvin
Scoops McCracken: Does Auburn score more than 13 points this weekend versus LSU?
Peoria Pliers: I really want to say no, but I can't. They will probably return a punt for a TD or something, and that will push them to 17. The question I have about that game is this: will you be able to stay awake watching the entire game?
Scoops McCracken: If somebody enjoys watching fast southern Afro-Americans run around like heat-seeking missles on the defensive side of the ball, then it's a yes. If they're there to watch offense? Asleep by midway through the 2nd quarter.
Peoria Pliers: Speaking of sleeping through a football game, did you catch the Louisville/K-State game on ESPN last night? Lou Holtz sounded like Grandpa Simpson doing commentary. I kept waiting for him to start yelling "THE SWEDISH ARE COMING!!! TAKE COVER!! THE SWEDISH ARE COMING!!" or start talking about "Victory Cabbage...that's what we called Cole Slaw during WWII" He has officially entered Ed McMahon territory.
Scoops McCracken: We'll have to have a saulte to Lou Holtz coachspeak later this year
Peoria Pliers: I feel like we are going to be doing a 21-gun salute as we watch his casket dip into the soil any minute. He's like a mix of Trev Alberts (nonsensical football comments), Digger Phelps (undying loyalty to the Irish in the face of being a national correspondent) and the Crypt Keeper right now
Scoops McCracken: Difference between him & Alberts though is that he (Holtz) actually knows football. Alberts was garbage.
Peoria Pliers: True, but honestly, Lou doesn't even know what he is saying half the time anymore

Pliers' Picks - Week 4 [9/18/2008]

So I went 4-4 again last week. Crappy. At least the Cyclones found a miracle saftey to cover their game. And I was a half point away from being 6-4 with that godforsaken Clemson game. From now on, I just have to avoid Clemson, Pitt, and NC State altogether. They are the sunshine to my endive. Anyway, onto week 4. Enjoy.

Miami getting 3 at TEXAS A&M. The Aggies are going to need that 12th man since Miami is VERY athletic and Texas A&M's cupboard is more barren than the Vladivostok tundra. The new UM QB is an emerging star, and I like Randy Shannon's defense. Francione really ran the Aggies into the ground, and despite a top-3 homefield advantage in Collegeville, the Hurricanes are going to pound the Aggies all day. Miami 35, Aggies 17.

PURDUE by 10 vs. Central Michigan. I like Curtis Painter, and Purdue almost beat a very good Oregon team last week but fell just short. I like their hunger and I love their home field advantage. Purdue 31, Chippewas 14.

Temple getting 28 vs vs PENN STATE. Poor JoePa. His best defensive player got caught with a half a nosehair of ganja in his apartment, and now he is suspended until god knows when. Stupid college kids. What can you do? And what is JoePa supposed to do? If Mo Evans decides to say, "fuck it, Im outta here, Im gonna be a top-15 pick anyway. MY TIME!", there is no recourse. Anyway, PSU wins this one big, just like their usual blowout game against the Awful Owls, but I like the moxie of this Temple team more than in the past. Add the PSU blowout last week that will make them a little lazy this week, and the fact that PSU has a big game against Illinois next week, and I think this one stays within 3 TDs. Penn State 38, Temple 24.


MISSOURI by 34 vs. Buffalo. No other reason for this pick than it's the first half of the season and it's time to get on the Daniel/Maclin/Pinkel train. Mizzou is a great team to bet on since Pinkel is such a cockbag that he pulls stunts like the fake FG for a TD last week...when they were already up by 25 or some god awful number. What an asshole that guy is. Mizzou 51, Buffalo 14. Did I just take Temple up there? Really? Hmm...

Va Tech getting 3 at NORTH CAROLINA. UNC looked good last week, but I'm not sure they know how to win the big game. Their home field advantage is mediocre at best, and Va Tech knows that they are in "save the season" mode after dumping a loss to an surprising but overrated ECU team the first week of the year. This one will be VERY low scoring, that's a given. Va Tech 21, UNC 18.

The UNDER on the Va Tech/UNC game at 44.5. See my other notes. Then realize that Butch Davis and Frank Beamer can coach some defense. And then realize that a bunch of poorly educated hillbilly kids are better at running around and tackling then they are at reading defenses. Va Tech 21, UNC 18.

Rutgers by 6 at NAVY. I love the midshipmen, but Paul Johnson was the keel that made that ship float. Rutgers is better than they have been playing, although Mike Teel is more of a stiff than Bernie. Rutgers 35, Navy 24.

SCOOPS' AWARD WINNING FOOTBALL PICKS (WEEK 4)

An odd week last week. I must give credit to Kirk Ferentz for taking the safety, thus covering the 13.5 spread for Iowa State. And my original instinct was right with thinking Purdue would cover against Oregon. Meanwhile, Ohio State moved to 0-2 against the spread while Penn State’s train keeps rolling.

Also, in a tribute to former Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry, I will consistently refer to fast football players as “Fast Afro-American’s.” Please don’t take offense to this, as I’m sure there are many fast Caucasians.

Last Week: 6-4
Season: 20-11
Net Gain/Loss: + $105.00

PENN STATE (-28) over Temple: Temple lost a hearbreaker last week on a hail marry against Buffalo, while Penn State gave Syracuse another kick in the groin. Penn State’s train keeps on rolling as they are on a BCS mission to destroy everything & anything in their path.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PENN STATE 51, TEMPLE 16
Ohio (+10.5) over NORTHWESTERN: The ‘Cats are 3-0, and the win over Duke on the road may seem not as bad as it does on paper. I think Northwestern runs their record to 4-0 to head into Big Ten play, but I see Solich being able to keep it within a touchdown.
SCOOPS’ PICK: NORTHWESTERN 27, OHIO 20

Mississippi State (+9) over GEORGIA TECH: Really? Could this be, as Admiral Ackbar said, “A trap?” I guess I’m just going with conference to conference. The SEC > ACC. Mississippi State lost a tough one to Auburn last week 3-2 (no misprint) while Georgia Tech dropped their first game of the year to Virginia Tech. I just think 9 points seems like a lot to a team that almost beat Auburn.
SCOOPS’ PICK: GEORGIA TECH 20, MISSISSIPPI STATE 13

Louisiana State (-2.5) over AUBURN: SEC season gets into full swing and this one should be a good one. LSU has romped over their competition, while Auburn is a bit more battle tested with their win over the Bulldogs (Mississippi State, not Georgia). Expect a big play from Holliday, who may be the fastest Afro-American I’ve ever seen on a football field, which should give the Tigers (LSU) the edge over the Tigers (Auburn).
SCOOPS’ PICK: LSU 20, AUBURN 17

[Tangent time: What a bunch of idiots! This conference has not only 2 teams that share the same nickname (LSU & Auburn), but another 2 that share the same nickname (Georgia & Mississippi State) ]

Iowa (+100) over PITTSBURGH: The spread is –1 for Pitt, so why not just take the straight money line on Iowa, so if I lose, it’s a $10 loss instead of an $11 loss with the same payout for the win? All I can go off of is that Pitt lost to Bowling Green, which got stomped by Minnesota and lost by 13 last week at Boise State. I think Iowa & Minnesota are kind of similar right now, so therefore, Minnesota=Iowa>Bowling Green>Pittsburgh. Make sense?
SCOOPS’ PICK: IOWA 24, PITTSBURGH 21

MICHIGAN STATE (-8.5) over Notre Dame: Javon Ringer pounded the ball over & over again last week against Florida Atlantic, and Notre Dame won because Michigan decided to treat the football like it was a can of Keystone Light at a Frat party. Notre Dame gets exposed this week by a more talented team.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MICHIGAN STATE 38, NOTRE DAME 20

OREGON (-10.5) over Boise State: Oregon snuck out of West Laugh-at-it with a hard fought double OT win courtesy of the inability of a D-I kicker to hit a field goal. Look for Oregon to get back on track offensively at home this week and take care of the Broncos. [Tangent time: The Fiesta Bowl win over Oklahoma in 2007 was the best & worst thing for Boise State. Best in that they let everyone know that a non-BCS team can take down a real BCS team (I don’t count Utah’s win over Pitt in the 2005 Fiesta Bowl). But it was the worst thing in that everyone is going to take them seriously now forever and they can’t sneak up on anyone anymore. Oregon will be ready)
SCOOPS’ PICK: OREGON 45, BOISE STATE 20

INDIANA (-3) over Ball State: I don’t think Indiana was thinking that this was going to be a difficult game for them when they put Ball State on the schedule years ago, but that’s what it’s shaping up to be. Look for great QB play on both sides, and Indiana’s offense to do just a little bit more.
SCOOPS’ PICK: INDIANA 38, BALL STATE 34

PURDUE (-10) over Central Michigan: This will mark the 3rd time these two teams have played in the past 12 months. Central Michigan almost took down the Boilermakers in the Motor City Bowl last year. And can Purdue bounce back after the heartbreak of last week? I liked what I saw from Painter against Oregon, and their passing game will continue. As impressed was I of Purdue’s defense on Oregon, which should be able to keep LeFevour in check enough.
SCOOPS’ PICK: PURDUE 42, CENTRAL MICHIGAN 27

Miami (-3.5) over TEXAS A&M: Miami’s youngsters grew up quite a bit in their game at Gainsville two weeks ago. And with Stephen McGee out of Saturday’s game, Texas A&M would be best off hitting the same strip club that the West Cannan Coyotes hit during their all night bender.
SCOOPS’ PICK: MIAMI 21, TEXAS A&M 13
MISSOURI (-34.5) over Buffalo: The Chase Daniel circus continued last week to the tune of 60+ points. Here’s the best stat for you. Over his past two games, Daniel has more TD passes (7) than incomplete passes (6). That is freaking ridiculous. As Col. Trautman spoke of John J. Rambo, the same can be said for Chase Daniel. He's a man who's the best!
SCOOPS’ PICK: MISSOURI 58, BUFFALO 14
TENNESSEE (+7) over Florida: I just think 7 points seems like a lot of points. And the bottom line is Urban Meyer’s sophisticated offense isn’t anything more than Tebow jamming himself straight up the middle or giving the ball to another fast Afro-America in Percy Harvin. With the game in Knoxville, I think Fulmer is able to round up the troops & keep it close.
SCOOPS’ PICK: FLORIDA 28, TENNESSEE 24

Georgia (-7) over ARIZONA STATE: The Dawgs were able to claw themselves a hard fought 7 point win at Columbia last week, while the Sun Devils did what they do best, and that’s underachieve and lose to a lesser team in UNLV. Georgia’s offense isn’t clicking right now and they have Fat Stafford on a leash right now. But I think they find a way to get it done, because like we all know, ASU doesn’t win big games unless Jake Plummer is their QB (and even then, they still lose a national title in heartbreaking fashion).
SCOOPS’ PICK: GEORGIA 27, ARIZONA STATE 17

Florida Atlantic (+7) over MINNESOTA: Crazy stat for you about the Owls. They haven’t allowed a sack yet, and they’ve played Texas and Michigan State already. So you think Minnesota is going to get to the QB? Highly unlikely. Minnesota looks like they may have found a RB in DeLeon Eskridge, who punched in 3 TD's last weekend against Montana State. Look for points to be the order of the day at the dome. However, the difference is Minnesota is not turning the ball over, and last year, they turned it over 7 times against Florida Atlantic! As long as that number is kept at 1 or 2, Minnesota should be able to make enough plays to win, but the cover is something I don’t see.

SCOOPS’ PICK: MINNESOTA 38, FLORIDA ATLANTIC 34

Monday Afternoon Punter: September 15th, 2008

Is USC that good or is OSU that bad?

I’ll admit, I didn’t get to watch the whole game; I was in & out while at a wedding so I was popping into the bar checking the score and was going to buckle down with the 3rd & 4th quarters if it was competitive. Lucky for me, it didn’t look like I missed much. So all I have to go off of is the stats. But they were UGLY for the OSU offense. The stats that Boeckman put up were disgraceful. He has not been a big game QB for Ohio State. And the stubbornness of Tressel is something that may help the Gophers, who visit Columbus in two weeks. He is stubborn to make the switch from the bad QB to the athletic one. He did it with Justin Zwick, which cost them the game against Vince Young and Texas in 2005. And he’s doing it here. And he’ll probably stay with Boeckman for few more weeks too. They have Troy this week and then the Gophers. And they’ll probably win both games. But they travel to Madison the week after, which will be another big game for Boeckman in which I won’t be surprised if he chokes again. I don’t think OSU is that bad, but I won’t be surprised if Penn State or Wisconsin beat them. The Gophers may get lucky and not get the Pryor show this year.

As for USC: I saw their speed first hand last year at the Rose Bowl, making Illinois look like they were stuck in the mud. They are impressive on offense with playmakers (they didn’t have out of this world stats though against OSU). Their defensive speed is what separates them though. They should run the table and be in Miami for the BCS title game.

Notre Dame & Michigan

I think that was a factor of “Michigan is just not that good” more than “Notre Dame is back.” You fumble that many times, which a new offense that you’re only putting up 16 points on Miami of Ohio in the first place, and you’re not going to beat anybody in college football. It all depends on how much they improve, but November 8 suddenly looks like a winnable game for the Gophers. The biggest problem Michigan has right now is that they don’t have a QB that can run the ball out of the option. Kind of makes the option a bit easier to defend.

Minnesota

I must admit, it was a rather boring game. The whole dome was kind of toned down; nobody seemed into it other than the Montana State players and the drunken Montana State fans in the Twin Cities area. The Gophers completely slept walked through the 1st & 4th quarter. Nobody just seemed into it. The bottom line is that they’re college kids, and in the case of Minnesota, very young college kids. They see a team lose 69-10 the previous week, they’re going to think they can just come in, go through the motions, and come out with an easy victory. I’m going to say that this was an exception more so than it being the rule. I think you’ll see a much crisper game & effort this week against Florida Atlantic.
Things that are concerning right now: no 2nd weapon in the passing game right now. Decker racking up yards & catches is all fine & good now, and he’ll probably have another big day next week against the Owls, but what happens the next week when Malcolm Jenkins is covering him? The problem I see it right now is Ralph Spry is a stiff, Kuzina is what he is, and the freshmen can’t do the other things yet in terms of run blocking, running precise disciplined routes, and making plays happen. This next week, I want to see Jack Simmons and another WR be able to step up and make some plays. Also, the offensive line has to get better if Weber is going to stay alive come Big Ten season. It is what it is and a win is a win.

Other quick hitters:
-If you put a gun to my head and asked me “Who’s playing in the BCS title game?” I’d say USC vs. Oklahoma.
-Georgia ain’t going through the SEC without a loss.
-Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2? Are you kidding me? I have a theory regarding this. It’s that offensive football takes smarter kids & defensive football is just athletes reacting with talent. Even Urban Meyer’s sophisticated offense usually ends up being Tebow jamming straight into the line with a QB Power or Percy Harvin taking the ball and trying to out run people. The defenses, meanwhile, are “just a bunch of angry Afro-American’s (copyright: Fisher DeBerry) running around and hitting people.” I’m just finally glad that I have a 3-2 score to put into my bibliography of sources to my theory.
-Wisconsin 13, Fresno State and the WAC officials 10.
-Typical Purdue game during the Joe Tiller era. Have a game won and you “let ‘em off the hook.” If it wasn’t for Drew Brees being able to take advantage of a completely blown coverage by an 8-4 Ohio State team that fired John Cooper about 10 weeks later, Purdue would have nothing to show for it.
-At least Syracuse has an excuse for losing by double digits this past weekend to Penn State. Northwestern & Akron though? And next year’s opener: Minnesota @ Syracuse. Could it be Tim Brewster versus Glen Mason?
-Iowa taking the intentional safety, which in turn covered the spread for all the Iowa State bettors. WOW!

THURSDAY THROWDOWN [CHAT TRANSCRIPT: 09/11/08]

Peoria Pliers: Does Tim Tebow set a record for biggest missed opprotunity of all time? He is extremely pious, yet he chose to go to Florida, and then became the first Sophomore Hiesman winner. Do you have ANY IDEA how much Gator Co-Ed booty he could be crushing right now? If you are THAT GUY, why do you go to Florida? Isn't Purdue or BYU or Notre Dame a better fit, with far fewer "temptations of the flesh." I don't like the way the guy plays very much, but I will admit this...he is a bigger man than I am if he has maintained his erogenous purity.

Scoops McCracken: Well, I find this similar to the "rockstars want to be athletes" & "athletes want to be a rockstar." It does seem that he could put it down with lots of educated co-ed's in Gainsville, but it just must not be his thing. We all sit here and say "how can he not be picking up chicks every Saturday night?" We want to be him....he probably enjoys being a normal guy. But then again, you never know.....wasn't Adam Hauser the ever practicing Christian? Wasn't he known to put notches in the bedpost, so to speak?Peoria Pliers: Yeah maybe so, and there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever...but my point is that his religious beliefs are very highly publicized (not his fault) and all I can think about is how are you a virgin while being the starting QB at Florida???? That makes about as much sense as the Maginot Line. No one ever really knows, but I suspect that if he was promiscious that we would hear about it. There are just too many TMZ-types out there

Scoops McCracken: Very true....it would pop up on a Georgia or Tennessee blog or message board somewhere. I want it to be clear to the readers that Scoops ha

s no inside "scoop" to anybody. Regarding games, some good Thursday & Friday games this week with Rutgers & North Carolina tonight and Kansas & South Florida tomorrow.Peoria Pliers: Rutgers/NC is an interesting matchup of very good coaches. Not your standard Thursday night game
Scoops McCracken: I don't know if UNC is there yet, but then again, Rutgers couldn't score against Fresno either.

Peoria Pliers: It's tough sleddin' when you lose Ray Rice. I fear that Schiano should have jumped the Rutgers ship last year or the year before....I just don't know about the Scarlet Knight dedication to being a periennial top-tier program. Everything in New Jersey is always just an afterthought to something else
Scoops McCracken: I think Rutgers liked the initial success, but do the people there know what it takes to maintain it? My vote is no.

Peoria Pliers: Agreed. The only reason they are maintaining respectability is the fertile recruting grounds of the downtrodden wasteland that is New Jersey.
Scoops McCracken: They are in the Big East though, and with RichRod now in Ann Arbor, I think they could sustain some Big East power. And Louisville isn't doing so hot right now either. Rutgers has a great opportunity, as does South Florida.
Peoria Pliers: What's your take on Mangino/Leavitt tomorrow night? Does Kansas have the athletes to defend the Bulls and stop that DE out there?

Scoops McCracken: I'm a big Kansas pimp; was last year too. They played Mizzou very tough last year. I have a small man crush on Reesing because he's the 6'1" QB that "never was going to make it" and now all he does is throw 4 TD's a game across the fertile lands of the Big XII.
Peoria Pliers: yeah, and the fact that he can do it while adjusting for the gravitational pull of Mangino on the sidelines makes it even more impressive. I know that neither Scoops or Pliers are the guys to be making fat jokes, but I am convinced that if Kansas wins the Natl Championship, the odds of Mangino surviving his heart attack are at about 15-1
Scoops McCracken: The thing I am guessing too is that he probably does try to work at it; just has no results. He's not like Weiss in that he just gets the stomach stapled. I can picture in my mind Mangino on a treadmill every morning at 5AM in a dirty grey KU shirt. Pleasant thought, huh?

Peoria Pliers: The smell of homeade cheese eminating from his hairy back, the windows all steamed up despite the fact that it is 85 degrees outside. Yeah, great thought. Thanks. I always like to envision him walking his minitaure schnauser down the block, sweating profusely, waving at the neighborsScoops McCracken: Enough of that...to Saturday's game. I think I'm starting to regret my Purdue pick over Oregon on the spread.
Peoria Pliers: Good move. Oregon is tough, now that they learned how to play without Dennis Dixon. That was a complete failure last year after he got hurt. Painter is a killer though, so who knows. Where do you think Painter gets drafted next year?
Scoops McCracken: Considering there aren't many QB's that can just throw anymore, probably higher than he should.
Peoria Pliers: What are you thinking, late 1st, mid 2nd? He has to be considered one of the top 3 or 4 QBS in the draft, no?

Scoops McCracken: I haven't even looked at the eligible QB's, but the spread seems to be having an effect on the quality of QB's coming through college.
Peoria Pliers: Agreed, Marc and I were talking about that this past weekend.
Scoops McCracken: Fine with me; I have more fun watching Vince Young at Texas than watching him try with the Titans, but NFL QB's are in trouble, especially when Manning & Brady retire in a few years. It'll come back though, and there's always an unknown, like a Romo out there.
Peoria Pliers: I wouldn't go that far...there are some solid young guys out there...Aaron Rogers, Jay Cutler, along with Romo. Speaking of QBs....Interesting non-ESPN-Hyped game of the week - Nevada/Missouri. The pistol versus the Chase Dainel Circus. Is it possible that the ball will spend more time in the air during that game than it does in the hands of the actual atheletes? Games like this make me wonder why more people don't follow NCAA football instead of the NFL slugfest.

Scoops McCracken: People are beaten with the NFL stick over the head, especially in this town. It is what it is.
Peoria Pliers: It's week 2 and I'm already tiring of the NFL charade. The good news is that Sean Salisbury and Emmit Smith are no longer hemmoraging sewage from their mouths on  theanalyst shows.

Scoops McCracken: I don't even watch ESPN anymore....their mock debates are sore to the eyes. I prefer Big Ten Tonight where I can watch a blip about every Big Ten team, inclding my Gophers, who only get a drive by from ESPN on Gameday the week they're playing Ohio State. OK, enough of the gentle chat & let's get down to brass tax here: Let's throwdown. Michigan or Notre Dame? Why?
Peoria Pliers: Michigan. Better atheltes on Defense, another week of tutilege for RichRod.
Scoops McCracken: Agree. Michigan has a better defense.
Peoria Pliers: They always have great athletes on defense...they just needed to find someone to tell them where to go OK, Fresno/Wisconsin, who ya got?
Scoops McCracken: Wisconsin. They seem a bit more balanced on offense which will help them early and allow them to wear down Fresno in the 4th quarter. But their back 7 scares the shit out of me. Actually, doesn't scare me since I think Decker can abuse it on 11/15.
Peoria Pliers: OK, see I think you got it all wrong...Fresno is well coached, and they have some huge advantages....home game, at NIGHT (9:30 PM Central Start Time), and the big ol' hogmollies have to truck 1700 miles to get to Fresno. Plus, this is just another chance for Pat Hill to solidfiy his position as spoiler, which he just LOVES. I think Fresno wins this gameScoops McCracken: I think a big thing with Fresno is that teams aren't ready for them. Wisconsin has known this is a big game the entire off-season.
Peoria Pliers: Really? You think Fresno hasn't been preparing for PJ Hill since last February? A Big 10 team coming to your WAC stadium isn't a big deal to them? I have to respectfully disagree on that one, Scoops. PLUS, Wisconsin has Michigan...AT Michigan...next week.
Scoops McCracken: Just saying that the Badgers know this could be for a BCS berth just as much as Fresno does. Wisconsin isn't overlooking Fresno. And Fresno wins a few of those surprise games, but they haven't been to a BCS either. They lose games they shouldn't either. And they're almost "expected" to win this one. They're a better "nobody believes in us" team.
Peoria Pliers: We will see, we will see. Regadless, it doesn't get any easier for the Fuckeyes...At Fresno, AT Michigan, vs. Ohio St, vs. Penn St. That's a tough stretch
Scoops McCracken: Well, lucky for Wisconsin, this is the first game of that stretch and not the 4th.Peoria Pliers: fair enough. OK, Georgia/South Carolina. Does Spurrier have anything left in his bag of tricks, or is his system a relic that has proven to be ineffective?
Scoops McCracken: No, Mandel touched on this a bit in his Mailbag. The game has passed Spurrier by, and Georgia is going to stick 'em. They want revenge for last year. He won because he had a QB in Danny Wuerffel who could robotically take in the new innovations. Now? He probably would have benched Tim Tebow by this point after losing to Michigan in the CapitalOne bowl.
Peoria Pliers: So where does Spurrier rank in the pantheon of great college footbal coaches? Above or below Bowden? Jim Whacker? Lloyd Carr? Woody Hayes? Joe Pa? Mack Brown? Pete Carroll?
Scoops McCracken: Below Bowden, above Carr, below Hayes & Joe Pa, definitely below Carroll, and probably similar to Mack Brown. I think he's going off of reputation more than anything right now. Lou Holtz had the 'cocks to two New Year's Day bowl games by this point already.
Peoria Pliers: What about a guy like Barry Alvarez? How does he compare there? Or Bob Stoops? Or Frank Beamer?

Scoops McCracken: Probably similar. Spurrier had more national success, but both are loved by the programs. Stoops? Pretty similar, although Spurrier has had more post season success. Beamer? I'd say he's above Beamer just due to more success.
Peoria Pliers: To me, the hallmark of a GREAT coach is winning when you are up, and being able to win when your talent level is down...Alvarez being a good example, along with Joe Pa. The rest of those guys? Not so much.
Scoops McCracken: At the same time, credit goes to a Carroll who never lets the talent dip.
Peoria Pliers: very true. Plus Carroll can usually gameplan himself out of a jam if necessary...the most notable exception being Mr. Vince Young OK, how about this comparison...Spurrier or Dennis Erickson? If you were the A.D. of Boondocks University, who is your guy for 2009?Scoops McCracken: Tough call. Erickson will do something shady or leave for somewhere else within 3 years. Spurrier? He seems like he'd want to bully me around if I was the AD.

Peoria Pliers: Exactly. At least Spurrier isn't a total backstabbing snake, but he would always be bigger than the entire athletic department, no matter where he went.
Scoops McCracken: I'd try to grab Lane Kiffin since he'll probably walk out on the idiocy known as the Raiders. I'd stay away from both Erickson & Spurrier.
Peoria Pliers: Probably a good move. Let's shift gears here. After the debacle with the Pac-10 officiating crew last week, coupled with the upcoming destruction at the hands of Oklahoma in three days, it has to be a foregone conclusion that Willingham is going to be packing his U-Haul and heading out of Seattle. Where do you see him ending up?
Scoops McCracken: I doubt a BCS school will go after him, so I see him being like a Frank Solich going MAC or maybe Mountain West or WAC.
Peoria Pliers: Really? From Golden Domer to Golden Flasher in 5 years? That's quite a fall from grace. What about a team like Air Force, Oregon State, or Syracuse (that is intriguing)? He has deep West Coast roots, but Syracuse is going to be hiring a new coach after the season as well.Scoops McCracken: Air Force just went to Troy Calhoun a few years ago when DeBerry retired, so I doubt he'll end up there. Syracuse is a possiblity. I think Glen Mason is a possiblity there as well. Speaking of DeBerry, great DeBerry moment when he said about 4 years ago "we need more fast black kids"
Peoria Pliers: he really said that? I did not know that.
Scoops McCracken: Big uprising, but then that Saturday, I watched Ted Ginn Jr. run about 100 yards in about 9.6 seconds past the Gophers kickoff coverage unit.
Peoria Pliers: Ha. I just found the Pat Forde article. Direct quote, "… Afro-American kids can run very, very well," DeBerry said. "That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well." Again, not ideal timing. On Monday, the academy welcomed a new superintendent, Lt. Gen. John Regni, who pledged a zero-tolerance policy toward discrimination. On Tuesday, DeBerry piped up about TCU's African-American players, stopping just short of saying, "We need us some more of those black fellers."
Scoops McCracken: I love quotes that start like "We need us etc. etc. etc." I love extra thrown in words.Peoria Pliers: So what's your take on the Middle Tennesse St. win over Maryland last week?
Scoops McCracken: I'm sure it had to do with some obscure fast Afro-American that will be a household name come NFL draft day. I think Maryland had their window and it's shut though.

Peoria Pliers: What do they do with the Fridge? He was a visionary five years ago, now he's just a loser?

Scoops McCracken: He signed on with Under Armour before anyone else did, so that hurt his credibility. I mean, he deserves some slack because nobody talked about Maryland football before him other than about Boomer Esiason, Frank Reicht & Mike Tice.
Peoria Pliers: Mike Tice. There is a winner. What a disaster he was. Here is an interesting matchup - Hawaii at Oregon St. So the Rainbow Warriors are playing the Beavers...do you think the Hawaii guys are going to be afraid of the Beavers? "EEEEwwwwwww, that's GROOOOSS! I HATE Beaver!!!!"
Scoops McCracken: Oh, I get it....I had to go back to junior high humor for that one. I actually liked Tice in that he actually said stuff to the media.
Peoria Pliers: You didn't like the Rainbow Warriors/Beaver comment huh? Tough crowd. How about SMU/Texas Tech? Air Raid vs. Run and Shoot. Gotta love that matchup, maybe even more than the Mizzou/Nevada game
Scoops McCracken: Texas Tech will win by like 56-38, some obscure point total. And Mizzou? I don't think Nevada will put as much up. Mizzou's already faced Illinois, so they'll be ready.
Peoria Pliers: Do Graham Harrell or Chase Daniel have a shot at the next level, or are they CFL/AFL bound?
Scoops McCracken: Harrell....no. Daniel....he's get a shot, like Brennan Harrell's another Sonny Cumbie or Kliff Kingsbury. Daniel can truly sling it around. OK, we've bored our readers long enough. Any parting shots?
Peoria Pliers: Hmmm. Go Beavers!
Scoops McCracken: Fair enough. The key matchup I want to see is the Buckeye cheerleaders that get on their knees & bow after a Buckeye TD versus the Song Girls of USC.
Peoria Pliers: you sure love those Song Girls...
Scoops McCracken: It's a whole new level after you've seen them in person, both in terms of looks and what they do (or lack their of) on the sidelines.

Peoria's Week 3 Picks [9/10/2008]

OK, so I went a paltry 4-4 last week. Whatever. These things happen. Keep this in mind, folks...at one point, the UFC was $44 MILLION in debt. Now they are worth $2 Billion. That's my kind of business model.

Last Week - 4-4
Overall - 10-6

Iowa St. getting 14 at IOWA. Rivalry game. These things have a way of evening out, regardless of the makeup of the teams. Iowa 21, Iowa St 17.

Michigan by 1 at NOTRE DAME. I will reiterate this - I think Jimmy Clausen is a stud. And, as my buddy Marc pointed out last Saturday, he is going to look like Jesse Ventura by the time he is is a senior. Enjoy that mop while it lasts, Mr. Clean. Anyway, the Michigan defense wins this one for the Wolverines. Michigan 24, Notre Dame 13.

FRESNO ST getting 1.5 vs. Wisconsin. This one might be a reach, and I'm definitely in love with Pat Hill, the owner of the best facial hair in all of college football. All I know is this: Fresno St. allowed only 106 on the ground to Rutgers, AT Rutgers, and Wisconsin throws the ball like Corky from Life Goes On. Plus, the Badgers have to travel 1,700 miles west to get to Fresno. And this game starts at 9:30 Central Time. I like the renegade in this one, playing spoiler for a good Wisconsin team. Barely. This one ends with a buzzer-beating TD pass or something similar. Fresno St 34, Wisconsin 31.

Oklahoma by 20.5 at WASHINGTON. Last week I was riding the Ty Willingham train, and it almost worked, had it not been derailed by a horrible Pac-10 officiating crew. This week? Letdown. And, Oklahoma is NASTY (like Janet Jackson Nasty) good. The Sooners roll, Ty starts filing his resume for 1-AA teams, and Stoopsie's expectations get nudged a little higher by the Norman faithful. Oklahoma 52, Washington 17.

Ohio St. getting 11 at USC. The "Collision at the Coliseum." You gotta love the hype, no? I except this to be a very close game, and Ohio State is far too easily written off of these games by the pundits (see below). I might even pick an upset special here if the game was in Columbus. USC 31, Buckeyes 28.
VANDY by 7 vs. Rice. This will be a very fun game to watch. Vandy is riding higher than a gay cowboy after their win at South Carolina, and Rice has two wins but has beaten NOBODY. I always like the smart kids, especially at home. One TD doesn't seem to be quite high enough. Vandy 38, Rice 14.

The OVER at 45 on the BYU/Ucla game. I know that UCLA has a third-string QB, but 45? That's just too easy. Maybe this is a trap, who knows. BYU 28, UCLA 21.

CLEMSON by 18.5 vs. NC State. Tommy B burned me earlier this year with that abortion against Alabama, but the talent level at Clemson is the same as it was earlier this year...VERY HIGH. Also, this game is in Death Valley. And NC State barely beat a 1-AA team last week. Karma is a bitch, isn't it Tom O'Brien? What a prick. Clemson 42, NC State 17.