Pliers' Week 4 Picks [9/24/2008)

Pliers took more of a beating than the Texas Tech...uhh...Bell? (see video below), going 3-4. My week was so full of B.S. that I didn't even realize I only made 7 picks. It's time to get back on the gravy train this week, and hopefully these matchups will do the trick. (Last week - 3-4, YTD - 13-10)

Wisconsin by 6 at MICHIGAN. I love the Wisconsin O-Line, and even though this one is at the Big House, I still like the BAD-gers to win by at least 10. BAD-gers 24, Michigan 13.

AUBURN by 6 vs. Tennessee. The Vols are nothing more than a bad football team. They can't do anything right, and the crowd at Auburn ain't gonna make it any easier. Now, if Auburn could just score some points.... Anyway, it doesn't matter, since the Phil Fulmer's team has officially reached Tail Spin mode. Auburn 24, Tennessee 10.

Purdue getting 2 at NOTRE DAME. It seems that each week I come on here ripping Chuckwheat and the poor state of Irish Football. This week is no different. Remember, this is the same team that barely beat the Aztecs of San Diego State and needed 5 fumbles to beat Michigan.

OKLAHOMA by 17.5 vs. Texas Christian. Stoopsie has his best team in years, and TCU is just not that good. Plus, the last time these teams met, the Horned Frogs pulled the upset, so look for OU to come out with their guns blazin'. The monster Sooner O-Line steamrolls the relatively diminutive TCU front 7, and Sam Bradford (who was inexplicably left off the USA Ryder Cup team this past week) takes his frustrations out and goes 28-34 for 460 yards and 4 TDs...and then sits down for the 4th quarter. Oklahoma 50, TCU 21.

Troy getting 17 at OKLAHOMA ST. Wow, this is a huge line. 17? Honestly? The Cowboys beat bad Washington State team and then a powder puff or two, but Troy is pretty goddamn good at football. They always have a few NFL draft picks on their team, but despite their lack of depth, they will keep this one close. If this game is in Troy, I'd take the Trojans straight up. Oklahoma State 38, Troy 31.

The UNDER at 39 on the LSU/Mississippi State game. Have you seen these two teams play? The only way the over comes through is if the defenses outscore the offenses...which is a VERY REAL possibility. This game might actually be LESS thrilling than the St. Thomas/St. Olaf bout a few weeks ago. I've never taken an under below 40 on a college football game before, but if there was ever a time to do it, this is it. These offenses are more pathetic than Clay Aiken's homosexuality "secret". Thanks for letting the public know, Clay, we would have never suspected you were a homo. LSU 17, Mississippi St 6.

Fresno St. by 6.5 at UCLA. Who made this line? Did John Wooden put a few million on UCLA to make the oddsmakers shift? Wow. The ONLY thing that UCLA has going in this matchup is that Neuheisel and his staff are better (albeit by a small margin) than Pat Hill and his gang of renegades. Doesn't matter. Brandstater throws for over 400 yards and the Bulldogs send the Bruins reeling even further with their 3rd loss in a row. Oh, and that win against UT in the opener? Doesn't seem to mean much now, does it? Fresno 34, UCLA 17.

MIAMI by 7.5 vs. North Carolina. This is an cool matchup since you have Butch Davis returning to Miami. The good news for UNC? They have one of the most underrated Wideouts in the nation (Hakeem Nicks) and they are amazingly disciplined for a team from North Carolina. The bad news? Their starting QB is hurt, leaving a guy named Paulus (never a good sign) at the helm, who has completed a whopping 33% of his passes. He is currently 3-9 with two INTs and no TDs. Ouch. The Miami defense is going to get after that kid early and often. This year's Miami team is kind of like the badass Tri-Lambdas from Revenge of the Nerds...with Randy Shannon playing the leader of the fraternity. Miami wins this one BIG, but then probably donks one off to a mediocre Florida St. team next week. Miami 31, UNC 10.

BONUS PICK:
Since I only made 7 picks last week, I thought I'd make amends with an extra pick this week.
The UNDER at 48.5 on the MARYLAND/Clemson game. The under is 7-1 the last 8 years on the UMD/Clemson games. Note to the Maryland defense: YOU MUST DEFEND THIS HOUSE!!! Maryland 21, Clemson 24.