Vise-Grip Picks of the Week

Allllllright! Not too shabby...Pliers eked out a 6-2 mark last week. That should pad my stats for the inevitable decline in my picks. This week poses much more difficult lines, and these early season matchups are always hard with the goofy point spreads (Alabama giving 30.5 to Tulane?? What?). Anyway, here are my Vise-Grip picks (did you get the Pliers reference?) for this week. And I don't want to hear it from ANYONE...yes, I know I picked all home teams and all overs this week. What can I say, that's how I like 'em.

Last Week - 6-2

Season - 6-2

VANDY getting 11 vs. South Carolina. I love the Ol' Ballcoach, but this seems like a recipe for disaster...an underrated Vandy squad that is always well coached versus a Chris Smelley-led Gamecock team coming off a big win. Not an upset, but I take the points here. Vandy 21, Gamecocks 28 (they win on a pick-six or a fumble return)

MICHIGAN by 14 vs. Miami (Ohio). One more week of RichRod practices will help the athletes on the Wolverine offense take another step towards spread success. The Redhawks haven't had a decent recruiting class since shag carpeting was popular, and the Big House is hungry for a win. Michigan wins BIG. Mich 38, Miami (Ohio) 14.

Shag Carpet (right)

OHIO STATE by 34 vs. Ohio. I like Frank Solich as much as the next guy, and I know Beanie is out this week. Doesn't matter. Did you see the Buckeye defense last Saturday? Wow. The Bobcats might not advance past their own 45 yard line. Plus there are three more studs waiting behind Beanie anyway. Hopefully the Buckeyes don't look past this one towards the big matchup with USC next week, but honestly, Ohio lost to Wyoming last week. Ouch. Ohio St. 42, Ohio 3.

WASHINGTON getting 9.5 vs. Brigham Young. I generally avoid picking any games relating to BYU since I always lose. Hopefully my faith in Ty Willingham will be well-placed this time. Jake Locker is a STUD, and BYU is overrated. UW lost the 1st and 4th quarter vs. Oregon, who has by far the best home field advantage in the Pac-10 (and maybe the entire nation). The Seattle faithful will be presented with a nice upset win...hopefully someone can hire an AD at UW before they lose Ty...all sources point to no on that one, tough break for him. Wash 31, BYU 24.

The OVER at 51.5 on the Cal/WASH ST game. The Cougars have no defense. Tedford is overrated but he can put points on the board. Washington St. is running no-huddle spread and they have a bunch of guys returning, and just like the Wolverines, they have had another week to put in more of their offense. I think Cal probably wins this one going away, but it will be a fireworks show in that horrible little town of Pullman. Cal 45, Wash St. 35.

The OVER at 43 on the NOTRE DAME/San Diego St. game. Jimmy Clausen is the real deal if you ask me, and lord knows that Chuckwheat isn't gonna sit around playing tiddlywinks after the abortion of a season last year. Look for ND to surprise a few people, especially on offense. This should be fun to watch. ND 38, SDSU 17.

The OVER at 42.5 on the SYRACUSE/Akron pillowfight. Yeah, so what, these two teams are TERRIBLE. This is going to be more painful to watch than a Mark May/Trev Alberts pregame show. But neither team can stop ANYONE, much less each other. Bad logic, I know, but the O/U is very low for a college game. College football teams oughta be able to put 43 points on the board while wearing Guantanamo Bay Hoods over their heads. Orangemen 24, Zips 21.

Syracuse/Akron Defenses

The light is always green

The OVER at 58 on the MICHIGAN ST/Eastern Michigan game. The total points scored for their last three matchups - 72, 63, 58. I like that trend. I also like the fact that EMU has a guy who rushed for 176 yards and 2 TD's on 21 carries last week. I don't care if they were playing the Wayzata 9th grade "B" squad, that is a lot of yards. And we all know that Dantonio can put points on the board. Another early season shootout. Spartans 51, Eagles 28.