Friday, September 26, 2008

Friday Fisticuffs!

Peoria Pliers:
First of all, we need to issue an apology to our loyal readers that we failed to put the Thursday Throwdown up on the site...again. Unfortunately, we do still have real jobs since ESPN or SI.com has inexplicably not come calling yet. Better late than never, though, right?
Peoria Pliers:
Let's begin...Whats the O/U on how many TD's Javon Ringer hangs on Indiana tomorrow?
Scoops McCracken:
Ringer....he's a doozy. The thing is that MSU's passing offense is rather ridiculous right now. But Indiana doesn't have a defense that can do anything about it, so I think the over/under should be set at 2.5. I'd take the over also, with him getting 3.
Peoria Pliers:
Javon Ringer is a STUD. I love that guy. Love him. Best thing to come out of East Lansing since Sedrick Irvin. What ever happened to that guy, anyway? Is he playing in Europe or something? He was a KILLER in college
Scoops McCracken:
All I remember about him was offering up the great quote after losing to the Gophers in 1998 "99 out of 100 times, we beat them." Not as good as Brendan Morrison's "sometimes the better team doesn't always win the game" quote after Michigan lost to Boston U in the 1997 Frozen Four, but a great one nonetheless.
Peoria Pliers:
That is a pretty good quote out of a guy who is probably bagging groceries at an Albertsons somewhere right now
Peoria Pliers:
OK, so answer me this: If Dave Wannstedt was on the cast of an 80's sitcom, what show be the best place for him to be cast, and what type of character would he be? He has that look of a great character actor that you would see in a bunch of TV shows and Movies
Scoops McCracken:
Lots of ways he can go here.....he could be the Dr. Jason Seaver on "Growing Pains," only with a mustache. He looks like a George Papadapolos on "Webster." He looks like the slimey dad Joey on "My Two Dads." He also looks like a fatherly figure for Alex P. Keaton on "Family Ties." Or perhaps the blind date for Angela in "Who's the Boss" who ends up being a boyfriend. The possibilities are endless with him.
Peoria Pliers:
I have a friend who looks exactly like the dad from Family Ties, by the way. I see Wannstdet as more of the "evil"/decietful brother of Magnum PI, or maybe even the drunkard buddy of Dan Connor on Roseanne. No matter which way you go with it, he definately has the characteritics of an awesome support cast member.
Scoops McCracken:
With USC losing last night...what does this do to the title picture? Because I still don't see an SEC team going through without a loss.Mizzou & Oklahoma don't play each other, so if Oklahoma can beat Texas, I see them being undefeated when they play in the Big XII championship. But you never know with Oklahoma, they may end up dropping one to some schlap.
Peoria Pliers:
Firstly, I don't see this Oklahoma team donking one this year. Secondly, I'm going to take the easy way out and say its WAAAYYY too early to talk about Title Game implications since I want don't want to tarnish my...ahem...spotless prognostication record
Scoops McCracken:
Yeah, but what's the fun in that. I think that's a backbreaking loss for USC. They don't get back into the top 2 after a loss like that to a team that Penn State took doggy.
Peoria Pliers:
Fair enough, but do you really think USC is going to lose another Pac-10 game? The Pac Ten is softer than a bowl of jello in the Mojave. UCLA? Oregon? Cal? C'mon, USC runs the table from here on out and then everyone forgets this transgression in Corvallis.
Scoops McCracken:
They won't, but that's the problem. Because it's soft, they'll be hurt. And USC will once again probably be the best team in the country on January 2nd, but unfortunately, they'll end up winning another Rose Bowl and not a BCS title.
Peoria Pliers:
So what you're saying is we need a playoff...
Scoops McCracken:
If there was a playoff, USC possibly would have won the title in 2002, would have in 2003, 2004, and possibly in 2006 & 2007. But USC should know this by now: don't F up on trips to places like Corvallis, Pullman or Palo Alto if you want to win a national title. Let's talk Big Ten. If Wisconsin wins but by 7 points, will they have proven anything?
Peoria Pliers:
No, they have proven nothing, not until they play Penn State or OSU, which consequently, they play the in the next three weeks. If Wisconsin comes out with a win against either PSU or OSU, I will give them a modicum of resepct. Otherwise, all they are to me is a one-sided team, and the last time I checked, P.J. Hill wasn't quite good enough to run the table in the Big 10 by himself.
Scoops McCracken:
I don't even think PJ Hill is the best back on his team. I'd give the nod to John Clay. I picked Wisconsin, but Michigan seems to have an ability of amping things up even when they're down. I think it will be an interesting game.
Peoria Pliers:
Maybe, but Wisconsin games are always slugfests, which can be good or can be just flat out boring. Their QB is crapola. He is tough to watch. He even makes Mike Teel look good. So Purdue/Irish this weekend in the battle for the one of the Shellaleighs (spell check required). Who ya got? Remember, Chuckwheat still has a "blown out" knee, so take that into consideration
Scoops McCracken:
I like Purdue, because I think Tiller knows that as long as they don't make mistakes, they should win. ND almost lost to SDSU (not the Jackrabbits), Michigan turned the ball over 5 times in Hurricane Ike's wake, and MSU handled them pretty easily.
Peoria Pliers:
Now we have some loyal readers who seem to be big Irish fans (this one's for you, Sister Helen Jean Moriarity)...what has to happen for Jimmy C to pull out the Victory in this one? Also, are you onboard the Maurice Crum bandwagon or not? I think the NBC announcers said his name during the last game more often than Kornheiser talks about Brett Farve during Monday Night Football...
Scoops McCracken:
I was on the Maurice Crum bandwagon back in 1988 when his dad was a badass stomach showing LB for the Hurricanes. I'm guessing his son is better since all football players are better now than in the past and I'll have that debate with anyone. I think Jimmy C's chances of winning are just "matriculating the ball down the field" and throwing a jump ball to Floyd in the endzone when they get inside the 20 because that seems to be the only way they can score minus a rain soaked turnover fest. Personally, I'd rather have 7 Big Ten QB's over Clausen right now (Weber, Juice, Bacher, Painter, Lewis, Pryor & Clark) Sorry if that was the Notre Dame love you wanted, but they're a freaking joke right now. And they've been that way since we were taunting the guy who was drinking wine, cheering for them in the Mandalay sports book during the 2006 Fiesta Bowl.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah, the Irish are pretty bad if you ask me. They do always have God (and by osmosis, Jesus) on their side, though, so that's usually worth a few points.
Scoops McCracken:
Well, they don't call him "Field Goal Jesus" for nothing. But even I think that Jesus turns the channel to find some sort of spread attack going on while the Irish are playing.
Peoria Pliers:
HA! By the way, did you see Sly Crooms quote the other day? When asked if he would ever run spread, he responded by saying, "I'll be dead or fired before I run Spread" gotta love that guy. On the Mississippi State front, has there ever been a more conservative coaching staff in the history of College football. Sly Croom makes Woody Hayes look like Mike Leach.
Scoops McCracken:
He runs what he wants to run....but I think he should. MSU isn't going to win in the SEC without something that can turn the table on everyone. Odds that Sly Croom stays on a 16 while the dealer is showing a 9? 97.4%
Peoria Pliers:
Can you see Sly Croom in an Austin Powers outfit, sitting at a blackjack table saying "I also like to live Dangerously..."
Scoops McCracken:
That is a sneaky underrated movie. I always get a kick out of that part, along with when #2 is showing Dr. Evil everything that they own, including a factory that makes minature models.
Peoria Pliers:
I think that dovetails very well with the miniature building in Zoolander, another sneaky good movie. Hold on a minute, I've got to run and get an Orange Mocha Frappaccino, be right back.
Scoops McCracken:
OK, coaching philosophy question, and I can't wait for the readers to offer up on this one. Two questions I've always wondered: 1) Why don't teams go for 2 more often? I figure if it could be mastered, it would be a tremendous weapon. And 2) Why don't teams go for it on 4th down more often? A Cal statistician once showed that more points are given away by teams that don't go for it.
Peoria Pliers:
Zubar15 would have an interesing take on this one, since he loves the 2-point and 4th down gambles. I think I'll leave the heavy lifting to the readers, who actually know about such things, but from my understanding, teams in the NCAA make the two-point conversion almost exactly 50% of the time, so really, the risk of not making one is minimal. As far as the statisticians from Cal, beware what they say because everything that comes out of Berkley (even statistics) are going to skew liberal. I am going to give the data to Sean Hannity and see what he comes up with before I make an assesment
Scoops McCracken:
I think it was Jim Fassel that said "let's put the stat nerd on a sideline and see what he thinks then." i think punting is more explainable, but i think teams should go for anything in the 4th & 3 or 4 range more often...or at least think about it a bit more.
Peoria Pliers:
The truth is that gambling just isn't as popular here in the states as it should be, and that bleeds into the coaching staff. If there was a bookie in the pressbox saying, "OK coach, I'll give you 2.5 to 1 on going for two to cover the juice, whadday say?" maybe we would have more exciting outcomes. It's just too bad.
Scoops McCracken:
That would be kind of hard to see. You'd then have coaches playing to only lose by a certain amount. Imagine how conservative Tressel would get then. By the same token, perhaps that would make him open it up more since he'd usually have to win by 2 TD's.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah I guess. At least Tressel did listen to the beckon call of Mr. McCracken (BTW, thanks for reading, Coach) and played T-Pry (we need to find a better nickname for him eventually) most of the game last week. We will see how good he is with Hightower chasing him down this Saturday though!!! That was sarcasm, by the way.
Scoops McCracken:
Did I ever tell you my reality TV program idea?
Scoops McCracken:
Since there's 50 different designer/chef shows on Bravo, my idea is you have a NCAA Football Playstation Dynasty competition by 20 different guys, and winner gets a 4 year contract at some obscure Sun Belt school.
Peoria Pliers:
Hmmm, don't they already have the Professional Video Gaming League? Maybe this could be their answer to the "Ultimate Fighter" deal for the UFC? And really, what does your average Sun Belt AD have to lose here? It's not an awful idea, really. What does it really take to go 3-8 in the Sun Belt?
Scoops McCracken:
Think about the publicity. More people would pay attention to UL-Monroe than they do now. The attention would be off the charts, 2nd only to my idea that Kappa Sigma should have done a philanthropy event with 100% of the proceeds going to the NRA.
Peoria Pliers:
That sounds like the plot of a Simpsons episode. I'd rather just get a soundbite of Les Miles saying, "You can have the National Championship Trophy when you pry it from my cold, dead hands" On the reality TV tip, and I fully understand that ESPN did this type of thing a few years back, I think that the next show that HAS to happen is a reality show for Football play by play and color analysts. The combo of Ron Pitts/Tony Boselli was more painful to listen to than a 2nd grade chorus concert. BRUTAL. We need some new blood, not just a bunch of washed up ex-athletes and sons of old broadcasters. I'm honestly thinking about watching all of the football games for the rest of the fall with the TV muted and having some music playing in the background.
Scoops McCracken:
The problem is that networks think they can toss any ex player in and he'll be good. For every Troy Aikman, there are 5 Tony Boselli's & Bill Maas'. Scoops' rule for broadcasting: always go with a coach over an ex-player.
Peoria Pliers:
Always. I'm convinced that my mother could do a better job than most of these guys just by being silent. Ron Pitt’s said last week that the Panthers need to “Get the Vikings off”. Wow. I’m breathless. In other news, Ron Pitt was seen living it up at a VIP lounge with Clay Aiken a few days ago…
Peoria Pliers:
In honor of the Corvalis Crackdown last night, what are your top 5 "Upset Stadiums" in the land right now. Must be a stadium of a team NOT in the top 20.

1. Texas A&M (rememer, we are ranking the Stadiums, not the teams...)
2. Washington
3. Tennessee
4. Fresno St.
5. Colorado
Scoops McCracken:
Pretty good list...I'd toss Hawaii in there as well since you'll always get a pro-Hawaii crew reffing the game. Would would win: 1941 Army (National Champions) or 2005 Minnesota (Music City Bowl participant)?
Peoria Pliers:
Hmm, well I'm sure I like the moxie of the Army squad, so they win the "Gut Check" column. Minnesota does have a few things going for them, however. Firstly the 2005 Gopher team was not segregated, so you have to figure that is a bonus for the Gophers. Also, I believe that the combined weights of Mark Setterstrom and Greg Eslinger total the entire weight of the Army D-Line that year. BUT, the Gophers did have Glen Mason coaching for them, that would probably swing the advantage to Army. I'd say Army 1941 12, Gophers 4.
Scoops McCracken:
Would Knute Rockne's forward pass be legal? That's the question.
Peoria Pliers:
Only when the offensive player could see the white's of their opponents eyes. Otherwise, no.
On another tip, when did coaches stop calling their players "Men". That has such a great ring to it. Now they call them "Great Kids". Come on. Call 'em Men for godsakes. It sounds so much more regal.
Scoops McCracken:
I'm more upset that I haven't had a chance to kick a 35 yard FG during halftime of the Dr. Pepper SEC championship game for 1 Million.
Peoria Pliers:
The real question is, if you were selected, would you go Rich Karlis and rock the shoeless kicking style? You got anything else?
Scoops McCracken:
No...I'm just glad that Big Ten season is getting going. I think it's going to be interesting to see if the Gophers are ready to be competitive at all. "Lose small" is the goal in year 2 of a rebuild. I'm also interested to see Wisconsin along with Penn State.
Peoria Pliers:
I think that the Gopher game might be closer than people think, if for no other reason than the fact that it has to be nearly impossible for Ohio State to get up for a matchup against the Gophers.
Scoops McCracken:
Bottom line is that OSU has not been impressive thus far, and even if they have Beanie back, you can't imagine that he'll be in 100% game shape. Lots of questions to be answered.
Peoria Pliers:
True enough. I can't wait for a good weekend of college football instead of the crapfest last weekend. Any parting shots?
Scoops McCracken:
Win or lose, I don't punch a clock in Ohio.
Peoria Pliers:



Awesome. Enjoy the games everybody!!



5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shame on you boys for being so disrespectful to our beautiful boys at Notre Dame. A trip to the grotto would heal your warped Big Ten souls.

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art though among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen

P.S. Help us to kick Purdie's ass.

Anonymous said...

If you want new blood, replace yours as it is rotton.

Anonymous said...

You want blood, you've got it.

Anonymous said...

"What now?"

Anonymous said...

I wish we would've known Sister Helen Jean in the 90's!