Thursday Throwdown - [Chat Transcript 9/4/2008]

Scoops McCracken: South Carolina @ Vandy tonight...what do you think? Vandy was impressive against the Redskins last weekend.

Scoops McCracken: I agree with you; 11 points seems like a lot.

Peoria Pliers: I like Vandy a lot...it's amazing what you can do with a few smart kids in the SEC. South Carolina has too many athletes on defense, however, so Vandy will not win

Peoria Pliers: Yeah it does. Who knows? This might be the game that the Gamecocks win by like 42 and then shit the bed next week. That would be perfectly typical

Scoops McCracken: One more point I wanted to bring up from last week....did you see Louisville put up 2 points? I think 2 points is more insulting than getting shutout.

Scoops McCracken: You can potentially skip over the fact that a 0 is on the board, but everyone notices a 2.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah, two points is pretty much a massive indictment of your entire operation. You don’t GET two points, you are GIVEN two points. It's like a mercy killing, just like Sam Elliott's character in Road House I feel bad for the kids at Louisville though, they have had a rough go of it the last two years.

Scoops McCracken: I don't....they are a bunk university in a bunk state, and they're lucky that they've had any success in football & basketball. I've never been a fan of "universities named after a city." Miami, Pitt, Cincinnati, Syracuse, Houston.

Scoops McCracken: It's like they go to "the University of the United States" with Prince Akeem Jofa of Zumundah.

Scoops McCracken: They're so small they don't even have a basketball team.

Peoria Pliers: I bet they don’t have a "Chase the Monkey" team though.

Scoops McCracken: Good call. Back to football though. Not too many great games this weekend.

Peoria Pliers: No, this one seems like a real snoozer. Am I the only person excited about the MSU/Eastern Michigan game? That has some potential to be a lot of fun.

Scoops McCracken: In any other weekend, it would be an afterthought, but with this slate of games, it's a good one. I actually think one of the better games of the weekend will be the Gophers-Bowling Green game. The Big Ten slate is AWFUL this weekend.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah here is my problem with Bowling Green...they have the WORST helmet decal/logo of all time. I love their colors, and their jerseys are always pretty decent, but that god-awful bird looks like it fell out of the nest and hit all of the branches on the way down

Scoops McCracken: What I don't get is how they have no incorporation of the color "green" anywhere. Not even a trim color. Is there anybody that has a color in a nickname or city and doesn't go with it? I'm guessing it's some sort of retro Falcon....that's all I got for you.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah, the Retro is the part that is aggravating. And good call on the lack of green...or bowlers, for that matter. How sweet would it be to have a small Big Lebowski patch on the back of their jerseys, right below the neckline and just above the nameplate. Now THAT would be classy. Just the kind of class you come to expect from the MAC.

Scoops McCracken: My favorite part of the MAC is how they have their primetime, big money games on a Tuesday night on ESPN2.

Peoria Pliers: Nothing like the tradition of College Football on a Tuesday. Tuesday is the day in the fall that you watch the Twins give one away in the late innings and cook some beef stew for the week, not watch Miami of Ohio slug it out on a muddy field with Kent State

Scoops McCracken: I totally agree......You get your football fix from Thursday through Monday. Tuesday is a needed recovery day, and Wednesday is the hump day that makes you say "hey, I wonder who the Thursday night game on ESPN is tomorrow night?" Tuesday football is overkill.

Peoria Pliers: So what's the O/U on the attendance Texas A&M/New Mexico game?

Scoops McCracken: Where's it at?

Peoria Pliers: New Mexico. If it were in Collegeville it would be a non-issue, the place would be packed regardless

Scoops McCracken: I'd think they'd get a good crowd; A&M is still a name program, despite them being bad lately. I'd think the good folks from Albuquerque would find the time to not attend an Isotopes game and watch the Lobos.

Peoria Pliers: Go Isotopes! Lousy defectors.
Peoria Pliers: How about this one...is there any chance that Ralphie's squad gets upset at Middle Tennessee State? I know how you love those NFL prospects on MTS...

Scoops McCracken: Problem is there's only one of them every 2-3 years. You'd have to figure that Hawkins would be able to handle this one. Unless half his team decided to quit & "go play intramurals."
Peoria Pliers: You know it is a bad weekend of football when we are talking about Middle Tennessee State. Did you see that Daunte Culpepper officially retired today? I almost shed a tear...now who will fumble 27 times per every 100 snaps in the NFL?

Scoops McCracken: He did? Is he too proud to accept a backup QB job somewhere? Well, good luck to him. I'm sure he can find a job that will pay him what he would have made being a backup QB.

Peoria Pliers: yeah I can imagine him in a Captain Stubing outfit telling the hookers where to dance on the three hour tour...that probably pays pretty well, especially if he can get Freddy Smoot to make it rain onboard the ship

Scoops McCracken: What an absolute waste of talent.
Scoops McCracken: Since it's a bad week of football, this will be brought into the throwdown.
Scoops McCracken: In my CFA Dynasty, I officially got put on probation....2 years, no bowl games or TV appearances and 15 less scholarships.
Scoops McCracken: I went the SEC route and just looked the other way & never punished any of my guys. It eventually caught up to me. But I'm still getting sold out crowds; I think my fan base likes my renegade attitude & middle finger attitude to the NCAA and their rules.

Peoria Pliers: So is this the playstation game you're talking about? I feel as out of touch as Joe Lieberman at an Outkast concert right now...

Scoops McCracken: Yes.

Peoria Pliers: Ahhh. I didn't buy that game this year since I have procured a PS3 from a friend and the game now costs $60. What a joke. I like your SEC attitude though.

Scoops McCracken: I still am rolling with my PS2 and it's last year's game....but I created a school, called "Minnesota", removed the regular Minnesota, and am playing in TCF Bank Stadium.

Peoria Pliers: Nice. Very nice. Switching gears a little here and hitting on your Ga Tech pick, do you see a newfound movement towards teams running old-school, triple option type attacks to counter the newly omnipresent spread looks that everyone has switched to?

Scoops McCracken: College football goes in cycles....with more teams going to the spread, defenses are responding by getting smaller, faster LB's. What's open now is the middle.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah just ask Norm Chow. And how about that game...who does Fulmer have calling the plays on Defense over there in Knoxville? I think the Capital City Goofball was sighted wearing a headset and calling "Cover 2" for the last 35 plays of the UCLA/Vols game on Monday. What a JOKE. I wish I could make 3 million a year while shitting away talent year after year

Scoops McCracken: Would you really want to live in Knoxville? You'd be expected to make appearances at Bristol Motor Speedway, Dollywood, and wear a coonskin hat with a musket.

Peoria Pliers: For three million a year I would be the biggest NASCAR sympathizer of all time. Plus, being able to walk the sideline with a coon-dog next to a checkerboard endzone in a stadium filled with 100,000+ drunken rednecks would be rewarding enough to endure all types of ills. Plus, the closer I am to Bristol Motor Speedway the more likely I am to become friends with Dr. Jerry Punch.

Scoops McCracken: I don't know....I have my price tag, and that may not be enough. If I did, I'd make sure I had a QB named "Sherman" every single year and his nickname would be the General. Just to let all the Tide & Bulldog fans that I mean business.

Peoria Pliers: That is a great idea. The psyche of the SEC can't be overstated enough. Maybe that should be the next move for Tressel in his attempt to overcome the recent SEC dominance...just rename Todd Boeckman "Todd Lincoln" and change Beanie's last name to "Grant". They would be unstoppable.

Peoria Pliers: Did you see the Roger Ebert letter to Jay Marriotti? Find it HERE:
Peoria Pliers: Pretty interesting. Marriotti is a jackass, I think its fun to see someone rip him apart.

Scoops McCracken: Marriotti is a douche for sure.
Scoops McCracken: I never liked people who all they do is bitch & complain & be negative. That takes no talent. Comparing him to a Kornheiser is laughable.

Peoria Pliers: Yup. I had the same conversation with a few friends last night about the same thing, strangely. And that is coming from someone who is as negative as the charge on an electron (me).

Scoops McCracken: Thing is, this town is the same. Reusse, Souhan & Barriero......they have to make a name for themselves, and slamming athletes is their way.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah, Reusse is the king of kings, however, the king of top turd mountain as it were. At least Souhan and Barriero have some form of intelligence...Reusse is like the kid who got constantly picked last for bombardment in the 3rd grade and decided to jump on the sports-writing bandwagon to take his lack of athletic ability out on the purveyors of sports. His article about Maturi read like a teenage blog entry, cherry-picking events over the past few years and whitewashing any positive development in the Gopher athletic department. Not exactly an objective analysis.

Scoops McCracken: His hatred for the U is almost laughable at this point.

Peoria Pliers: The Vikings could win the Super Bowl, finance their own stadium in a economically depressed area that turned that area round, cure cancer, and bring George Washington back to life...and Reusse would be the first to rip them for trading Randy Moss four years ago and getting 40 cents on the dollar

Scoops McCracken: I agree....I don't really care much about professional sports, but I would like to see championships won just so these bitter men have to find something new to complain about. I'm not asking for Sid Hartman homerism here, but at least freaking enjoy sports and some of the athletes that go with it.

Peoria Pliers: Yeah Sid has become officially unreadable. I'm not sure if the Depends are velcroed on too tight or if someone has slipped some PHP into his Metamucil, but he has totally marginalized his impact on the local sports scene.

Scoops McCracken: My opinion on Barriero is that he's embarrassed that he's known for sports, and wants to be known for more "important" issues

Peoria Pliers: And that is a slippery slope to climb...once you have immersed yourself in that world, it is tough to come out and become legitmate. But then again, Katie Couric is hosting Prime Time News on CBS, so anything is possible

Scoops McCracken: True, True

Peoria Pliers: from the AP: "The Bengals said Thursday that they will refer to the receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson by his new legal name, Chad Ocho Cinco, in all club business. That includes the back of his jersey for Sunday's season opener at Baltimore." Awesome
Peoria Pliers: If you could change your name to something on the back of your NFL Jersey, what would it be?

Scoops McCracken: I'd always go with "Reagan-Bush" with the # 84.

Peoria Pliers: Even though I think Regan was a complete moron, that would be absolutely spectacular. Imagine Ron Jaworski analyzing a play..."As you see here, Reagan-Bush just splits the defense right down the middle and makes a beautiful catch in the end zone. Some people call the end zone "The New America" when Reagan-Bush scores, you know"

That's it folks. Have fun watching the poor weekend of college football.