Thursday Throwdown...Can you Dig it, Sucka???

Scoops McCracken:
Last week was the first full game I got to watch Terrell Pryor. What is your opinion?
Peoria Pliers:
Is he the next Vince Young? I don't think so. I like the fire he plays with, he seems to have a chip on his shoulder which is not usually found in the #1 recruit in the land. He's got a cannon for an arm, but his mechanics are just awful...but then again that didn't hurt Vince. Overall, I'd say he is an above average QB in the Big 10, but he is still a liability until he can take a game over with his arm instead of his legs
Scoops McCracken:
I watched him, and I instantly thought Vince Young, only with that chip that makes him better. I honestly think that only two fan bases know what's in store for them: Michigan (because they saw what Vince Young did to them in the '05 Rose Bowl) and Minnesota, because they saw the ability last weekend. His arm may not be there yet, but he absolutely takes Ohio State to a dynamic level; one that they need to be at to be a national champion. I'm offering a prediction: Ohio State wins a national title in the next 2 (or 3, if Pryor is still at OSU) years. He is absolutely ridiculous when he's running with the ball. It's not even fair.
Scoops McCracken:
Anyway, I wanted to get that off my chest. I'm glad that the Gophers have already played OSU, because he's only going to get better and more dynamic. And I offered it up in my lead pipe lock of the week when they play Wisconsin this weekend. The cure for 80,000 drunk, rowdy Wisconsinites is a 6'6" Afro-American that's faster than everyone else AND touches the ball every single play.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah we will see how that matchup plays out...that Wisconsin O-Line is something to see though...their only hope is to keep the ball out of Pryor and Beanies hands.
Peoria Pliers:
OK, so answer me this: Who wins a round robin knife fight tournament between these four: James Laurinaitis, Travis Beckum, Rey Maluaga, and Myron Rolle?
Scoops McCracken:
Beckum's dumb and is a pussy...Laurinatis, despite the whole animal reputation, is still a rich kid from Hamel & Wayzata....So it's between the USC kid and the badass FSU safety. I suppose it just depends on which way the wind is blowing that day.
Peoria Pliers:
I like the explosiveness of Maluaga, and he looks like he should be beating someone’s face into the turf as a member of the All Blacks Rugby Team, so you can never discount his moxie in knife fight, but Rolle has a distinct reach advantage and is much quicker. He is also a finalist for a Rhodes Scholarship, so he's smart as a whip, which probably means he would just run away since nobody ever really wins a knife fight. Myron Rolle is the Florida State equivalent to Vizzini in Princess Bride...he would do very well in an Iocane powder battle of wits
Scoops McCracken:
As long as he doesn't have poison on both knives in the fight.

Peoria Pliers:
So this is a big week for the Pittsburgh Panthers, who are reeling from another underachieving start to their season. How much longer do the Steel City Faithful wait around for Wannstedt to produce something on the field other than ugly uniforms and disappointment?
Scoops McCracken:
Pitt bores me. Until they go back to the mustard colored helmets, I don't care about them. You seem to love talking Pitt football. Is it because of your games of Beer Pong & slices of pizza at Crooklyn on the Pitt campus in 1999 that make you long for the Panthers?
Peoria Pliers:
Big guy puked on himself that night. I don't know, I like most things that come out of Pittsburgh, it's a good town with good blue-collar people. They seemed to be right on the cusp of challenging the folks in Happy Valley a few years ago with Walt Harris, and now they are just spiraling downwards. It interests me, what can I say?
Scoops McCracken:
Well, can't they get Walt Harris back if they so desire? Wannstedt does nothing for me.
Peoria Pliers:
I love Wannstedt as a person, but I'm slowing coming to the realization that for whatever reason, his teams can't win. I think Walt Harris is doing a Vegas lounge act impersonating Roy Orbison at the Plaza downtown these days, so I guess he probably is available. The group is called "The Stagnant Willburys"

Scoops McCracken:
Speaking of available, Lane Kiffin is unemployed. Does he get the Washington or Syracuse job, or get a high profile O-coordinator job?
Peoria Pliers:
That's a good question. He does seem a little sneaky to me, but at the same time Al Davis is just about as reputable as O.J. Simpson, so I'm not sure who to believe on that deal. Regardless of fault in that scenario, the fact that Kiffin took that job in the first place given the Al Davis situation and the horrible talent in Oakland would be a big red flag if I were an A.D. If he thought that was a good idea, he gets a C- - - Bond rating for decision-making. Did he really think that at age 33, with Al Davis breathing down his neck and a roster filled with A-holes and marginal athletes that this was going to end well for him? He's either too stupid to see the logical conclusion, or too ambitious for his own good. SO, to answer your question, I bet he stays in the NFL. I can see him ending up somewhere like St. Louis or Arizona as the O-Coordinator or QB coach
Scoops McCracken:
I'd go with the ambitious angle.... I honestly think he thought he was going to get offered the Minnesota job. I think the Raiders experience is going to make him realize that he likes the college game more. But he could end up being an NFL lifer like his dad.
Peoria Pliers:
yeah that's what I see happening.
Scoops McCracken:
I think he would be smart for both Washington & Syracuse. Syracuse's AD was an associate AD at USC when Kiffin was there. And Washington. Kiffin has experience in the Pac Ten.
Peoria Pliers:
I wonder how many strings Al Davis is trying to pull in the smoky back rooms to screw him over though. For some reason people seem to have a decent amount of respect for Al Davis. What a jerkass.
Scoops McCracken:
That guy has completely run that franchise into the ground. If I was a big time player, I so would pull a John Elway or Eli Manning and say "I'm not going to Oakland" if they were about to draft me. Davis...what a character. When he was trying to tell people how bad Kiffin was as a coach, he printed up an article saying how bad he was as a coach. It was a freaking blog article. Davis had no idea; thought it was a normal media outlet.
Peoria Pliers:
I will say this about the Oakland Raiders situation right now: The Autumn Wind used be a Pirate; Blustering in from sea, with a rollicking song sweeping along, swaggering boisterously. Not anymore. Now the only face that is weather-beaten is Al Davis'...he looks like a meth billboard mixed with an aging Vegas blackjack dealer.
Scoops McCracken:
Which SEC gets picked off this weekend?
Peoria Pliers:
Well, I like the Gamecocks, who are a 2.5 point dog this weekend at Ole Miss (see my picks for the details), Vandy has a shot since they are at home against Auburn but I can't see an upset happening there considering the Tubberville Defense . I just can't see ArKansas or Kentucky winning; so I guess SC is this week's version of Obi-Wan...the only upset hope
Scoops McCracken:
We'll know more about Vandy this weekend. As will we about Texas in a few weeks.....@ Colorado, then the Red River versus Oklahoma, and then Missouri.
Peoria Pliers:
Answer me this...I REALLY wanted to take Missouri since they were only a 10.5 favorite, but the game is AT Nebraska. I'm a little worried that Pellini can out coach the rest of the Big 12 on the defensive side of the ball, so I didn't take Mizzou. Give me three reasons why I'm wrong about that.
Scoops McCracken:
1) Chase Daniel
2) Jerry Maclin
3) Chase Daniel
Nebraska's defense may be better than last year's, but they're not ready to hold down an upper-class Chase Daniel.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah, he's good. I probably should have picked Mizzou, but what difference can it make...I can't do any worse than last week. What a nightmare.
Scoops McCracken:
It was rough on everyone I think.....except Vegas.
Peoria Pliers:
Explain to me how Al Groh goes from ACC Coach of The year last year to 1-3 this year, including a 28-point loss to Duke, a 45-point loss to USC, and a 35-point loss to UConn? And Chris Long cannot be your answer.
Scoops McCracken:
It's also not like Virginia doesn't have football talent in the state either. You want the next name of a coach that's gone, it's Al Groh.
Peoria Pliers:
One year after he is coach of the year though? That’s a tough racket if that is the case. Either he shouldn't be fired or he shouldn't have been coach of the year
Scoops McCracken:
Fair point. Does UNC win the ACC this year?
Peoria Pliers:
Last week I thought they were headed for a four win season since they lost Yates at QB and the guy they replaced him with had as much heart as Mr. Burns. They replaced him in the 2nd half against a scrappy Miami team and ended up winning...and the new guy is pretty stinkin' good. Win the conference? No dice. I still think Wake and Va Tech are better teams overall, and I think Va Tech will end up winning. I'm telling you though, Hakeem Nicks is a friggen STUD. Gonna be a great steal in the 2nd or 3rd round of the draft next year. Who do you like better, A.J. Green from UGA, Julio Jones from Sabanopolis, or Michael Floyd from Irishville?
Scoops McCracken:
I think all of UGA's receivers suck, so Green's out. I'd give a slight edge to Jones because I think he's a little faster than Floyd. But they're both studs.
Peoria Pliers:
Really? Man I couldn't disagree more. I think A.J. Green is NASTY, he's got the best hands of a tall receiver since Roy Williams. Barring injury, he’s a top 10 NFL pick three years from now.
Scoops McCracken:
ALL OF UGA'S RECEIVERS SUCK! I can't stress that enough. SUCK!!!!!!!!!
Peoria Pliers:
Wow. I think you're wrong there buddy. We might just have to have that knife fight sooner than originally planned.
Scoops McCracken:
Well, don't bring a UGA receiver, because they may drop your weapon on your big toe.
Scoops McCracken:
Who's your next Vikings coach?
Peoria Pliers:
Ha. Great question. I hear Lane Kiffin is available. Maybe Tony Dungy...err, we let him get away. Oh, I know, Mike Tomin...oooohhh yeah, he got a away too. Brian Billick? That wouldn't be too bad. As long as it isn't Denny Green or Phil Fulmer I'll be happy. Last week's game officially kicked me off of the Chilly bandwagon once and for all. I was TRYING to back him up, but I just can't do it anymore. He is as effective as Mr. Burns on Ether calling the plays, and the players don't even seem like they listen to him anymore.

Scoops McCracken:
I've always been one to put more emphasis on execution than play calling, but it really is starting to get ridiculous. The thing I never understood is why we hired him in the first place. When he was the O-coordinator, he didn't even call the plays. It was still Andy Reid.
Peoria Pliers:
He was the disciplinarian. After we committed sixty-two penalties last week, I'm not sure that the title of school-marm even applies anymore. How about this name - Norm Chow.
Scoops McCracken:
Interesting name, but if you go the college ranks, you go for a coordinator? That worked out well for Oakland. I think you go an NFL coordinator or a college coach. And college coaches haven't worked out too well lately. Is Ferentz not a hot name anymore? Remember how many people were talking about him being the next NFL guy. He may be ready to jump ship in Iowa City. Whether he's the right guy is another question.
Peoria Pliers:
Yeah I like Ferentz a lot, the only failing he seems to have is on the recruiting side. His teams are always disciplined and smart, which I think is a hallmark of a good coach.... but maybe he is just recruiting average athletes that were smart to begin with. I like Billick, I like Jim Fassel, I think if we could get Cowher that would be a great score
Scoops McCracken:
I think Ferentz' problems are two-fold: one, when they had success, it was because they got the under the radar guy that they coached. They then had some recruiting success after on the field success, but those guys turned into idiots off the field, so it hurt them on the field.
Scoops McCracken:
Two: Iowa made a living off of Chicago. Ron Zook has put a stop to that. Cowher will have his pick of about 10 jobs, and knowing Minnesota sports, we're not going to be the one that gets him. Peoria Pliers:
All good points. Once again, Scoops, your finger is always on the pulse of the Big Ten. As of right now, who your bottom 5 major college football coaches? Must be in a BCS conference, 5 being the 5th worst, and so on and so forth
Scoops McCracken:
1) Robinson (Syracuse)
2) Phil Fulmer
3) Mike Sherman
4) Al Groh
5) Bobby Bowden.
Kind of a hard question: for instance, I'm sure Fulmer is a good coach, but you have to kind of go what success the coach "should" be having.
Peoria Pliers:
That’s a pretty good list, but really tough on Sherman (1st year) and Al Groh (reigning ACC Coach of the Year). My list would go like this:
1. Bobby Bowden, AKA Buford T. Justice (now that Lloyd Carr is gone, nobody does less with more)
2. Phil Fulmer (again, less with more)
3. Bill Stewart (his team looked like a bunch of 5th graders trying to find a fire exit two weeks ago)
4. Greg Robinson
5. Mike Stoops


Scoops McCracken:
Good point on Stewart...he's the prime example why you shouldn't let your current players tell you to hire their current assistant.
Peoria Pliers:
OK, you wanna wrap this up? We have to leave some in the tank for next week’s games.
Scoops McCracken:
Yeah, crucial game for the Gophers. They have to win this type of game to take the next step.
Peoria Pliers:
Agreed, we will see if they can muster a good effort for a very winnable Big 10 game. Whatever happened to James Hardy, anyway?
Scoops McCracken:
2nd round pick by Buffalo, caught the winning TD versus Jacksonville in week 2. Is their #2 WR now that Roscoe Parrish is hurt behind Lee Evans.
Peoria Pliers:
Thanks. Any parting words for our readers?
Scoops McCracken:
Only 9 more days until another undefeated team (UT or OU) gets picked off from undefeated ranks. Gotta love October.
Peoria Pliers:
Definitely. October is the most generous month. Whatever that means.