Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Murder Trains 'a Comin'

I'm not sure whose performance was weaker last week, Scoops and Pliers or the Big 10. I feel akin to Jules from Pulp Fiction when it comes to my Big 10 fandom, "I'm tryin, Ringo...I'm tryin REAL HARD to be the shepard. But that shit ain't the truth is. The truth is YOU ARE THE WEAK [Big 10 football]. And I [the rest of the NCAA D1 teams] am the TYRANNY OF EVIL MEN"







As I watched the events of Saturday afternoon align to make the Big 10 miraculously go 10-1 (thanks for nothing, Zooker) and allow James Delaney and the rest of the old-guard jerkoffs live their belief that the Midwestern teams can still compete with the SEC, Pac-10, and Big 12. This weekend should be a real eye-opener, and hopefully Scoops and I can pick up on that to capitalize on the lucrative betting lines this week. Off to the picks.

Last week - 3-5
Year to date - 3-5

Air Force getting 4.5 at MINNESOTA. I'll echo Sgt. Slaughter's comments...if the Minny line was that shook up in the Carrion Dome, imagine what they are going to be like at home with the Lou Nanne all-star team screaming at them all game long. Sure, Nichols State is a horseshit team, but putting up 72 points on anybody other than a group of elderly nuns, ESPECIALLY when you run the ball 90% of the time, shows that you have your mesh points working pretty well. Minnesota's undersized defense will keep up with the AF boys for a while, but I doubt that they even win the game, much less cover the spread. At least the stadium is pretty. Screaming Eagles 35, Minnesota 28.

North Carolina by 3.5 at UCONN. Yeah, I'm picking two road teams back to back...wanna fight about it? I believe in North Carolina's speed, T.J. Yates, and Butch Davis more than the ghost of Dan Orlovsky. The video below reminds us all of the low point of the UCONN program since its rise to D1 a few years ago. Tar Heels 38, Hush Puppies 17.




Western Michigan getting 1.5 at INDIANA. Continuing my trend of picking against mediocre Big 10 teams making their home debut, I think this is a pretty easy pick...maybe too easy. Indiana is just not very good, and Western Michigan played very well against a much more talented Michigan team. I'm surprised the line is this close. Western Michigan 24, Indiana 17.


Pittsburgh by 10 at BUFFALO. I actually watched a few minutes of the Buffs last week. Not pretty. Pittsburgh looks ready to challenge for a conference title this year, and Buffalo is an also-ran in a horrible conference. Also, Buffalo has the worst logo in the NCAA, so that can't help.



OKLAHOMA ST by 14 vs Houston. The last time I thought about the Houston football program, David Klingler was leaving his Underwater Basket Weaving class (UBWV 1001) and heading to Cougar Field to hang 600+ yards on Sun Belt opponents. Sure, Houston can still chuck the ball around the field, but Zac Robinson and Dez Bryant are men amongst boys and should carry their momentum straight through the Cougars into a big win in Stillwater. Oklahoma St 49, Houston 24.

The OVER at 50 on the NAVY/Louisiana Tech game. I love Navy's offense, and if they can put up 27 against Ohio State, they oughta be able to put up at least 35 on Louisiana Tech's porous defense that is designed to stop high flying spread schemes. Also, call me crazy, but I don't like LA Tech's prospects of being disciplined enough to stop the triple option. Louisiana Tech scores a few touchdowns on defensive breakdowns; this game goes over before the start of the 4th quarter. Or at least I hope it does. Navy 38, La Tech 21.

The UNDER at 53 on the BOISE ST/Miami (Ohio) game. Boise's offense was unimpressive against Oregon, and Miami failed to score last week against Kentucky. Also, the under is like 102-5 in the last 107 games these guys have played. I like the metrics. Boise 38, Miami 10.

Southern Cal by 6.5 at OHIO STATE. No brainer. The best team in the Pac-10 against arguably the best team in the Big 10. The interview I saw with Matt "Corbra Kai" Barkley says to me that he isn't going to be rattled at the horseshoe. Sure, Pryor is going to invoke memories of Vince Young destroying the USC defense a few years back, but he is young and dumb...and OSU has no running back of note. After his whoopin', the Tressel-Haters will be out in force. Not that they should be. But I think they will be. This line started at 5...I wish I had been in on that! USC 28, OSU 17.


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